Conspiracy of Silence
by theycallmemoriah
Summary: 'I fell in love the way you'd fall from a flat, regretting that you're falling, and knowing that once upon a time you'd be on the ground laying, broken and dead.' It's not only a promise to keep quiet, it's a conspiracy, and you can't tell anyone. [ After the rebellion, no one could speak about The Hunger Games.] but there were more words unspoken, meant to never be told.
1. A new place

After a huge revolution ( **not **the one with Katniss.) , leaders of Panem discovered a new land. The citizens who lived there said it was called 'Europe', but they didn't agree with that. They gave the great new place a name, and called it 'District 14.' And then the peace came. A lot of people who lived in Panem, moved to the new district.

The most of the people there in the new district were happy, and lived in peace and a new generation was born. No one told them what really happened back then, with the Hunger Games because they thought it was too cruel. They finally saw that there was no Hunger Games needed to live in peace. Panem just got a little bigger now.

A lot of families moved to the new district, to forget the past. So did Clove, with her parents, and her brother and sister. They bought a big house close to a place what was used to called Amsterdam. But since Europe became a district, the city's didn't have official names anymore, it was almost illegal to say these names out loud. Though people still did it.

* * *

'No, this is no fairytale.' I thought. 'I am not a princess, I don't think I'd ever find my prince on a white f*cking horse. I just moved to a whole new district which isn't called 'wonderland.' No, this is still a cruel word full of secrets. So expecting for a_ happy_ ending? Why would I even think about it?'

'I didn't want to leave district 2. Why did we have to go?' I mumbled while I looked out the window of the car. The place was so different compared to my old neighbourhood.

'It's better here, for all of you.' My mom said.

'But _why_? It was pretty good in district 2 too. And if we wanted to move here, we should have been faster. Half of the year already passed, now we are the newcomers in the school. ' My brother Shane filled in.

'Just accept it. This is your new home, no more questions okay.' She sighed, probably annoyed by us.

'So, here we are.' My dad stopped the car.

I opened the door and breathed in the air of my new hometown. I looked upon a pretty big house. 'Is this our house?'

'Yeah, would you please come help us with carrying the boxes?' My dad beckoned me.

I lifted a heavy box and carried it into the house. My parents already came here before today, so a lot of furniture was already in the house.

I walked upstairs, to see the rest of the house. There was a weird feeling inside my chest, which had been there since I entered the house. I didn't know what it was, but it didn't felt good. I looked around myself. Three rooms and a bathroom, and then there was an attic with two more rooms. In one of them Shine is going to sleep, the other one is going to be used as a home cinema room. I headed into a place what must be my room. It was a wide room, with big windows. The walls a very light shade of mint green, not pink. I was never such a girly girl.

I walked down again. My brother and parents almost carried all of the stuff inside, so I hopped down the sofa.

I always was home schooled, and tomorrow I had to go to a place called 'Panem High.' Which was going to be my new school.

I didn't look forward to it, all those new people. Tomorrow isn't going to be a good day, I already knew that.

'Do we really have to go to Panem High?' Shane muttered and sat down next to me.

'I don't feel like going either.' I shrugged.

'All new people who are immediately going to judge you in whatever you do.'

'Better make your reputation quickly, before someone else ruins it.' I patted my brother on his shoulder.

'I am going to make dinner.' My mom headed down to the kitchen.

'Just let us order pizza.' Shane rolled his eyes. He was 18, I was 16. Not really much difference in age, and we were pretty close. Of course we had those brother-sister problems, like everyone else. But we would always be there for each other.

'Yeah, Shane and I will get some pizza. And we are going to see more of this place, right?' I already walked to the door.

'Okay.' My mother replied and gave me the money.

I made a lower ponytail and walked with my brother towards the scooters. Mine was white, the one of my brother black.

I turned it on, and a minute later we drove through the city, looking for a pizza tent.

'Let's go here.' Shane suddenly slowed down, then we parked our scooters in front of Domino's.

I ordered a pepperoni, margarita and something with four cheeses.

'That's 15,95.' The red haired girl told me.

I paid with 20, and put the change in my pocket. 'Thanks.' I told her and picked up the pizza boxes.

Shane picked them up for me, and we walked back to their scooters. It was already late, so there weren't that many cars and it was pretty quiet everywhere. Shane and I drove back to home without saying anything. We were both just focused on the way home, we didn't remember exactly how we came here.

...

Suddenly a police car stopped in front of us.

'Wow!' I mumbled while I stopped my scooter quickly to not bump into the car.

'Can't he drive? Who the f*ck stops in the middle of a road.' Shane sounded just as angry, but confused as I was.

The two policemen walked out of the car and stepped towards us. 'And what do you think you're doing?' The policeman looked at us like he was inspecting.

'Can't we ask the same thing? You just stopped in front of us, didn't you have any drive lessons?' Shane told them. It was hard for me to not laugh at this moment.

'We know exactly what we're doing.' The policeman said to us, looking firmly. 'But you two have to wear an helmet.'

'Well sorry, we didn't know. Things changed here okay.' I tried to convince them that we're innocent. I didn't want to get into trouble. Of course we knew that we should wear helmets, but it just so much more free if you don't.

'A lot of things changed here. But next time, you have to wear an helmet okay?' Then the policeman headed to Shane. 'And you, you better keep quiet next time if you don't want to get into trouble.'

'What is this? A conspiracy of silence?' He laughed.

'Good evening.' The policemen walked towards the car.

I just shook my head when the policemen got inside the car. 'What the f*ck was that?'

'Let's go.' My brother suggested.

We drove back home again. 'I hope the pizza isn't cold yet.' I wiped my hair out of my face, the wind blew it back in my face the whole time.

'If it is, they're going to buy us a new one.' Shane swore.

When we finally arrived at home, the pizza was still warm. We both kept quiet about what just happened with the police. Our parents couldn't know that, they'd become mad.

My mother sliced the pizzas and placed them on the table. Lotus, our little sister hopped down on the chair next to me. She grabbed a slice of the four cheese pizza and lay it down on her plate, just like everyone else did.

After dinner I looked at the clock. Almost 11 pm, I should sleep now if I don't want to walk in school tomorrow like a zombie. Not that I felt like going to school tomorrow, but I have to. And when I go, I better make a good reputation and don't ruin everything on my first day.

'I'm going to sleep.' I stood up from my chair and walked upstairs. The house smelled so new, and not familiar.

I walked inside my room, and put on pyjamas which were still lying in one of the boxes.

Then I let myself fall on the bed and pulled the blankets over myself.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep, knowing that the time would pass by faster if I was sleeping.

...

I slowly opened my eyes, and looked at the alarm clock next to my bed. 6:45 It showed. I forced myself to get up, and waddled towards the bathroom.

I was still very sleepy, so I splashed cold water in my face. I headed to my room again, and put on a dark coloured sweater and shorts. It looked pretty rainy outside, so I put on a bit of black waterproof mascara. I quickly brushed my hair and teeth, and went downstairs.

My mother and sister were already eating their breakfast.

'Excited for your new school?' My mom asked me.

'Is that even a question? No, not really.' I shrugged and sat down next to Lotus. Actually I was more afraid than excited.

'Why? The school seemed good in my opinion.' She gave me a stare, which I didn't really liked. It was so fake, but nowadays you can't expect for 'real' things.

'That doesn't matter, I don't like school.' I told her.

'How do you even know that? You're home schooled Clove.'

I rolled my eyes, just because of that I'm home schooled doesn't means that I don't know what is going on in a school. I just made myself breakfast and ate it.

'I'm leaving.' I got up from my chair and grabbed my bag.

'Bye, have a nice day.' I heard my mother saying after me when I closed the door.

Maybe in between of all these awkward moments, which are coming today, I'd have a nice day. But actually I didn't think so.

I headed to my white scooter and again, didn't put an helmet on. I put it on and drove away to my new school.

...

When I arrived I parked my scooter on probably the right place, somewhere behind the school. Then walked all the way around again, inside the hall.

I looked skittish around myself. It's funny how you see very, very much people around you and you still feel alone.

Not for long, I guess. I'd make some new friends.

* * *

**Heyy! Thanks so much for reading this first chapter :).**

**I hope you liked it so far, not that there really happened something, but okay.**

**The plot of the story is told in the chapters after this, so just keep on reading ;)**

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	2. Promise

I walked through the entree of the school, the mood wasn't that good. But things aren't what they seem like, so probably it is a great school.

Then suddenly there was a table in the hall, with two women who wore plastic gloves. There was no other way to get into the school, so I had to go towards them. I got in the line, behind a red haired girl. I saw her yesterday I guess, in Domino's.

The woman asked for her finger, when she hold out her hand, the woman pricked in her finger and dipped her blood on a paper and scanned it, then finally the red haired girl walked further.

And then it was my turn. 'Give me your hand.' The woman told me.

'Why?' I sounded confused. 'Do you eh.. like to watch children bleed?' I didn't thought that it was really normal to let us bleed, for nothing.

Then I heard some boys after me repeating what I asked her, and laughing after it.

I held out my hand in front of the woman, who pricked in it, and dipped my blood on the paper too.

She scanned it, and shook her head when the light on the scanner turned red. Red is negative, so I think I can't pass.

A few men in white costumes walked towards us. 'What's wrong miss?' One of them asked the woman in front of me. His voice cracked and wasn't that good to hear because of his white/black helmet.

'It doesn't recognize her blood.' The woman told him.

'Well yeah.' I frowned 'I'm new here, and no one else ever asked me for my blood. What do you even want of my blood?'

'We have to check that. What is your name?'

'Clove Kentwell.' I answered curtly.

The man repeated my name to his handheld transceiver. 'Correct.' The screen showed.

'You can pass.' The man pointed at the hall.

I didn't answer and just walked away. Apparently the red haired girl waited on me, she didn't know me, and I didn't know her. The only thing I knew her from, was the pizza order yesterday.

'Hey, never seen you here before.' She walked next to me through the hallway.

'Yeah, I'm new in this weird town. I moved yesterday.' I told her.

'In that case, welcome to our f*cked up school.' She looked around herself. 'What is your name by the way?'

'Clove.' I answered. 'What's yours?'

'I'm Jackie.'

'Do you work at Domino's?' I grinned.

'Yeah, why?'

'I saw you yesterday, when I ordered pizza.'

'Oh that was you!' Jackie smiled. 'With your boyfriend?'

'No! That was my brother.' I chuckled.

'So, you don't have a boyfriend?' She frowned.

'Nope.' I shook my head.

'Well, that is going to change soon, trust me. Where are you going by the way?'

'I need to go to – ' I looked at the little paper my mother gave me. 'Principal Snow's office.'

'That way.' She pointed at another hall.

'Thank you!' I smiled.

'Bye. I'll see you later.'

'Bye.' I waved, and headed into the hall.

At the end there was a door, with a name board on it which showed 'Principal Snow'. I knocked on the door, and walked inside.

...

'Uh, hello?' I mumbled while I walked inside the room. But the man, with a white beard, who had to be the principal, was already talking to someone. 'Oh. Sorry.' I walked back to the door.

'No, it's okay. Just sit down, we're almost done.' The low voice of the man told me.

I sat down on a chair, looking at the blonde boy next to me.

The principal touched his calculator a few times and then headed back to the boy. 'That makes a score of 128 now. That is extremely high.' He told him, with an expressionless face.

Well, a score of 128 had to be good right? Why acted that man so emotionless?

I smiled and said it as happily possible. 'Congratulations.'

The man looked at me. 'That isn't a good thing.' Then the man looked back at the boy. 'You can go now.' He stood up, walked through the door and shut it behind him.

'Okay, Clove. First of all, welcome to the school!' Then he gave me a paper. 'Second of all, sign this.'

I never liked signing things, and this was a whole document which was way too long to read. 'What happens if I don't?'

'You don't get allowed to the school, and we kill you.'

My eyes widen. 'WHAT?!' The flashback of Jackie telling me 'Welcome to our fucked up school.' flashed before my eyes. Now I understand what she meant.

'Shut your mouth, and just listen.' The man told me and started the story. 'Every year, we organize a game in the building of the school, in which the 24 most rule breakers of the school fight to death in a pageant of honour, courage, sacrifice and to accept what they've done. There comes one victor out, which deserves a price and immediately gets a 100 percent at his school report. The rest is dead, so before you start being a rebel, think twice. The points to get into the games are scaled in one to five, and depends on what you've done. One is a level of talking in the class, while five is getting in a big fight. Do you understand?'

'Actually I don't. And how the hell are you going to cover the 23 deaths of children who just went to school?'

'That is not your business, Clove.' He stared at me.

'What is the highest score till now?'

'157.' The man answered. 'Now, sign this paper and repeat my words.'

I quickly signed the paper, he'd kill me if I didn't. He can't just kill 23 children each f*cking year right?

'I promise that I won't tell anything what is just said.' He told me.

I repeated _'I promise that I won't tell anything what is just said.'_

'The information which is given in the school, stays in the school.'

_'The information which is given in the school, stays in the school.'_ I almost sounded like a robot, without thinking just repeating things.

'If I tell anyone about this, I give the school the right to kill me.'

I looked down, and repeated it. '_If I tell anyone about this, I give the school the right to kill me.'_

The man brought the three middle fingers of his left hand to his mouth, and held his hand after that in the air. 'This is not just a promise. This is a conspiracy of silence.'

I kissed my three middle fingers, and held them in the air too. '_This is not just a promise. This is a conspiracy of silence.'_ I repeated.

'You can go now, miss Kentwell.' The man pointed at the door.

Without saying anything back I walked through the door and shut it behind me.

...

What the f*ck did I just said and promised? I want to tell my parents, but I can't. They'll kill me. Though, they can't go on doing this every year! This is wrong, so wrong. Why did I even go to this school? Now there is no way out. I almost started to panic in the middle of the hall, but tried to think about something else.

I looked around myself, didn't know where I should go now. I should have gone to biology, so I think I'll go to that lesson now even though it's started an half hour ago.

I walked through the hall, till I saw some people arguing.

Two boys and one girl, this can't be fair right?

* * *

**Hii, sorry it was a pretty short chapter, but you do know what's going on in this school now :) I just didn't have that much time to write. **

**I'd love to hear your comments for the story so far, or ideas for the story. So please leave a review :)**

**Byee! x**


	3. Stripes, and more stripes

**Heyyyy my lovely readers! So today is april fools day, did you got pranked? :P**

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** Have fun reading :) **

* * *

I didn't know what to do, I was still so confused about what just happened. How can a school be like this? They can't just kill us right?

I didn't want to walk straight towards them, so I walked inside the bathroom halfway the hall. What if they're going to fight?! I needed to do something, but didn't know what. I pressed my ear against the door to listen what they were saying.

It didn't sound like arguing and fighting anymore, just talking. Though the brown haired boy sounded pretty imitating.

I looked through the keyhole. Suddenly the boys stood further down in the hall talking to each other, the girl was just waiting there with her arms crossed. She didn't seem scared, but I guess that she just didn't want to show it.

The two boys moved in front of the keyhole, just not blocking my sight. No, I could see them better now.

My heart sank when I recognized the blonde haired boy. I just saw him at the principal's office. The boy with the score of 128, what I congratulated, oops.

'Marvel, come on. Big boobs don't count if she's fat.' I heard the blonde boy saying.

Oh, so that was the story about, surprising. I clenched my fists, he couldn't have said that. It's so disrespectful.

I slammed the door of the bathroom open, which accidently hit his head.

I walked out and saw them both looking at me. The brown haired boy, probably named Marvel had a big smile on his face. The blonde boy was rubbing his head.

I patted him on his shoulder and smiled 'Big dicks don't count if you are one.' Just to make this a little bit more embarrassing for him.

I didn't want to see his reaction, because he'd probably hit me. I just quickly walked down the hall, on my way to the biology class. Only it didn't went that easy.

I heard Marvel clapping his hands and laughing with a weird high pitched sound, which was pretty similar to the sound of a dying seal. 'She just kicked your ass bro.'

Then I heard other footsteps in the hall, the other boy was following me, great!

When he finally walked next to me he pulled his arm around me, but I pushed his arm away.

'Don't f*cking touch me.' I muttered, and still kept walking.

'Don't slam f*cking doors against me.' He said.

'Don't talk about that girl like that?'

'Don't congratulate me with probably going to die.'

'You didn't get these points for nothing.' I rolled my eyes. It was his own fault, that was clear to me.

'Okay you win.' He smiled at me, but I ignored it. I was still angry and confused, and he seriously needed to shut up.

'I'll get my revenge another time.' He told me. I still didn't answer.

When I reached the right class room I just went in and closed the door behind me, leaving Mr. knowitall in the hall.

...

My anger replaced itself for something like shyness when I walked in the classroom.

'Oh. Everyone stay quiet please.' A very weird woman with fancy clothes said. She can't be our biology teacher right?

'This is the new student here, please be nice to her.' She said with a stupid capitolish accent.

The class just stared at me, which made me feel pretty awkward.

'You can sit down somewhere.' The woman told me. I nodded and sat down in the front line, next to a pretty small (just like me) boy.

He wanted to talk to me, but the weird woman interrupted us.

'Does anyone know where Cato is? Seems like he is ''absent'' again.' She rolled her eyes. I didn't even know who Cato was, so I couldn't answer her question. Plus answering all the questions ruins your reputation, especially on your first day.

'No one?' The woman looked around the class, but no one answered. 'Great, then I'll find him somewhere.' She walked out of the classroom.

'You're new here?' The boy next to me asked.

'Yeah.' I answered.

'Well okay, my name is Peeta.' He seemed pretty nice to me.

'I'm Clove.' I smiled a little bit.

'Where are you from?' 'District 2, just moved here. To start over, I guess.' I told him. Then I looked at the empty desk in front of the class. 'What is her name, by the way?'

'The teacher? She's called Mrs. Trinket. We just call her Effie, but she attempts that as 'no manners' and she is strict to the 'girls first' rule.' Peeta told me.

I laughed a bit. This wasn't that awkward as I thought it would be. 'So ehm, how much points do you have?' I asked a little bit softer.

Though, it was no use. Exactly at that moment everyone kept quiet, and they all could hear that.

'Shh! Clove, you can't just ask someone that?' He told me.

'No! They'll kill you.' A girl behind us said.

'You can't say that either!' Peeta told her.

'Jeez, how far are they going in this conspiracy of silence?' I rolled my eyes.

'You have no idea Clove.' The boy behind us told me. 'You have no f*cking idea.'

'I'm Annie, by the way.' The girl behind me introduced herself. 'And this is my boyfriend, Finnick.' She patted the boy next to her.

'Nice to meet you guys.' I tried to be nice.

Suddenly a girl stood up from her chair, because since I've spoken a word about the weird school rules everyone was talking about it.

'Everyone! Shh, she's coming back. No word anymore about it, they'll uh.. k**l us.' Then she sat down again. Apparently even the word 'kill' couldn't be said here. Everyone shut their mouth about the school, and just talked about normal things.

...

Mrs. Trinket opened the door, with a boy walking after her.

I almost flipped my table when I saw who it was. The boy with a score of 128, which I just met in the hall and didn't make a really good impression, has got a name now; Cato. And now, he's in my class, great!

She grabbed a crayon and wrote his name on the chalkboard, which made an awful sound. Then she made three stripes behind his name. I already knew what it was for, but I decided to ask it.

'What do these stripes mean?' I asked her.

Then suddenly she wrote my name on the board too, with a stripe after it. What the hell have I done wrong? This is really, really unfair!

'First hand up before you ask.' The woman pointed at me. 'And you can't just ask me that. You know what it is for.'

'No, if I knew it I didn't ask you.' I told her.

'You want another point?' She held the crayon at the board.

'No thank you.' I muttered.

'Manners!' Someone said with a high pitched voice.

'You want to know what they're for? Well we never got the point of using these things, but they mean a stripe to death.' Cato told me, talking pretty loud from the other side of the classroom. I still hated him.

'Cato, shut your mouth!' Effie yelled, and made another stripe behind his name.

'Oh, I guess someone wants to kill me here.' He rolled his eyes as he saw another stripe.

I still hate him, but at this point he was right. And even though he needed some help in this discussion, only this time.

'You aren't just playing around with crayons.' I told Effie, almost knowing that I would get another point for this. 'You're playing with lives here.'

'She is right.' Finnick said, whose name came on the board too.

And so I finally got how easy it was to get these points, how easy it was to get killed.

And I understood why Cato got so many points, but why didn't he just stop doing these things if he knew he was going to die this way?

* * *

**Hope you guys liked it!**

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**And i'd love to get some reviews, so if it gets a few reviews, i'll post the next chapter. It isn't that hard to do right?**

**Okay? **

** Okay. **


	4. Run away

'Cato and Clove, enough now! I'll talk to both of you after the lesson.' Effie yelled.

Oh f*ck, I have no problem talking with her, but please not together with Cato. I hate him, and I don't understand why he doesn't hates me, he has all the right to it and so have I.

Mrs. Trinket continued her lesson, but I didn't pay any attention. I just stared out of the window, looking at all these people walking there all free. Of course, after today we all go back to home, and can do what we want. We just can't say what we want, and that makes us not free.

I wonder if Shane has heard the same story of principal Snow as I do.

Then the bell rang, and everyone stood up from their chairs. And this was the moment that I had to talk to her.

Peeta, Annie and Finnick walked out of the classroom. 'We'll wait outside for you.' Peeta told me.

I stood in front of Effie's desk, waiting.

When she turned around to check something at her computer, Cato grabbed my bag and pulled me towards the door.

I first tried to struggle, but I already knew that it was no use. He was so much stronger than me, still I didn't gave up.

'Just come with me.' He hissed almost unhearable, but it looked like he was serious at this point, so I just walked with him outside the classroom.

I saw Peeta, Annie and Finnick standing at the end of the hall. My automatic fear feelings wanted me to scream for help, but I didn't.

No, instead of that I slapped Cato.

Instead of having pain, telling me something, or even hitting me back, he just smiled. Like he enjoyed it, I don't get this boy, seriously. What the f*ck is wrong with him.

I heard the clicks of Effie's heels on the ground of the classroom, which meant that she was coming.

I just ran off to the end of the hall, and Cato followed me. I guess we both didn't want to get in trouble.

When we reached the end he mumbled a quiet 'Thanks.'

First I didn't get it, but then I finally got that he was talking to me. 'Thanks me?' I frowned. 'Thanks for what?'

'For helping me during that lesson. Usually nobody's got the balls to say something back.' And then he just walked away, leaving me alone with my new friends. Thanks god!

'Well that was pretty weird.' I shrugged.

'Did you just walked away?' Annie looked surprised at me.

'No.' I answer. 'He pulled me away.'

'And you were okay with that?'

'Well I didn't want to get in trouble.'

'Trust me, you only make it worse this way.'

'She's right Clove, sticking together with Cato will get you in serious problems.' Peeta told me.

'Well okay.' I shrugged again.

'We'll introduce you to Jackie, Katniss and Thresh after school.' Finnick suggested.

'Oh, I already met Jackie.' I said. 'At the bloody finger thing.'

Finnick laughed. 'Okay.'

We all went to our lessons, and I didn't open my mouth once again. 5 points in one day were more than enough I guess. The rest of the day nothing really happened, we just followed the lessons and I ignored Cato the whole time.

...

After classes me, Peeta, Finnick and Annie met in front of the school. Where I had parked my scooter.

The two girls and one pretty big guy stood there waiting on us. The girl who had to be Katniss, walked towards Peeta and kissed him. So they're a couple too, that's clear now.

'So, what happened today?' Katniss asked us.

'Well, this new girl here.' Finnick poked me. 'She got five stripes on her first day.'

'What?!' Katniss widened her eyes. 'How?'

'Got into an argument with Cato against Effie. Saying the words that 'shouldn't be spoken' you know..' Finnick answered for me.

'Aw, sweetie you shouldn't stick together with that boy, if you don't want to die.' Katniss told me.

'Annie just told me the same thing.' I laughed a bit. Actually I was totally okay with it, I still hated Cato.

I saw Shane walking towards his scooter. 'I have to go, see you all tomorrow!'

'Bye!' they said in sync. I ran towards Shane.

'And, tell me.' I said. 'How was your first day of school?'

'I guess that silence speaks more about this than words. I can't tell you this.'

I patted him on the shoulder. 'I know.' Now I'm pretty sure that they told him the same thing.

I stepped on my scooter and turned it on. Shane and I drove back home, without saying a thing. I was still hoping we didn't meet the same police as yesterday somewhere on the road. We still weren't wearing helmets, the feeling of the wind blowing through your hair is too awesome. No way I'm going to cover my hair with a stupid helmet. I knew I was playing with fire, and that one day I'd get burned, but till then I can just enjoy the ''fire''.

...

When we reached our house I stepped off my scooter and walked inside.

'Hello!' My mom said happily. She pulled me towards the sofa and I sat down. She sat down on the chair next to me.

'And?! How was your first day of school?' She seemed so excited, while I was not at all.

And how the hell could I answer this question? It's only a fact that I moved to a school which kills 23 children every year, no nothing special.

I looked at Shane, who made a 'cut it off' sign.

'Great!' I finally answered and put on a fake smile.

'Nothing else to tell? Did you made friends? How much?'

Oh god, she asked me so many questions.

'Yeah I made friends, and no I don't have something else to tell. Can I go to my room now!?'

My mother looked down, and I felt sorry for her. I understand why, I just moved to my new school which is my first school ever. She expected a whole story about what was going on. Too bad that I am working with the school, in their conspiracy of silence. I can't tell her anything!

'Sorry.' I mumbled and I grabbed a box of popcorn. I walked upstairs, to my new room.

I widened my eyes as I saw what she has done for me. My room became beautiful, I don't have to sleep on a matrass anymore like tonight. There was a big wardrobe in my room for all my clothes. I opened it, and probably my mother apparently already put all my clothes in it, selected on colour. That's so sweet of her, and now I'm acting like a piece of shit to her.

I locked my door and sat down on my bed, staring out of the window while I ate my popcorn.

I felt my mobile vibrating, so I grabbed it out of my pocked and unlocked it. [ 3 new messages ] It showed.

[Katniss] 16:53 : Heyyy, I almost forgot to tell you, but tomorrow evening I give a party at my house, do you wanna come too?

**16:54: Sure! (:**

[Jackie] 16:33 : Are you going tomorrow eve to Kat's party too? I'm not sure what I'm going to wear, help me!

**16:54: Yup I'm going. We'll find a dress after school okay? I need one too :o**

[Cashmere] 15:56 : Seems like you're new here, right? Well, I am giving a great party tomorrow, and you're invited by now.

I stared at my screen, who the hell is Cashmere? And why is she inviting me, I don't even know her. I decided to text Jackie about this.

**16:56: Jackieee help me. Who the f*ck is Cashmere? **

[Jackie] 16:56 : What's wrong? She's a bitch, let me tell you that.

**16:57: She just texted me to invite me for her party, tomorrow eve. But I don't even know her, how the f*ck did she got my number?**

[Jackie] 16:57 : Hahaha, oh please don't go ever near that thing. By the way, you are going with us to Kat's party, right?

**16:58: Yeah you're right. Thanks (:**

Jackie was right, I'm not going to a party full of popular people I don't like, if I can go to a party with my friends. So I texted Cashmere back.

**17:01: Nope, sorry. I'm already going to a party.**

I threw my phone away on the bed, which bounced a bit. I stood up and headed to my closet.

I put on sweatpants and heard my phone vibrating again. I rolled my eyes as I grabbed it. A message from Cashmere.

[Cashmere] 17:05 : Well fine then, but this is a chance you'll get once in a lifetime.

I laughed when I read it, was she goddamn serious? Cashmere was just acting a little bit too high-class, that it just became funny. I wonder who her friends are.

...

'Clove?' I heard my mother yelling from downstairs. 'There's food here! Dinner time.'

I smiled and shook my head, she knows me so well.

I rushed down the stairs, so I was quicker at the table, where probably my only real love was waiting for me.

I loved food, the good thing is that was pretty skinny (and small) and I could eat what I want, without gaining weight because I liked to run or workout.

I sat down on a chair, between Shane and Lotus, and ate my dinner.

'Oh, almost forgot.' My dad said while he chewed his food, and pointed with his fork at me, according that he was talking to me.

'So I met a few people today at my new job, and they asked me if I wanted to watch a soccer match with them.'

'Okay.' I shrugged. 'Good for you.'

'And I wanted to ask you if you would come with me, because now Shane is busy? You used to play soccer too, back there in 2.'

'Is that even a good idea?' My mom sounded not that much into this plan.

'No mom, it's okay.' I calmed her, and turned my head to my father. 'A game on TV or in the stadium?' I actually was more excited about the last one.

'Nah, just on TV.' My dad mumbled.

I shrugged 'Okay.' While I ate the last piece of potato from my plate.

When everyone finished their dinner I stood up, maybe to put on some other clothes.

'Can I be lazy and go in a sweater and sweatpants?' I chuckled. 'Not that that would give a great impression on your new friends, but okay.'

'Of course you can.' My dad frowned.

'I'm sure I'll be there like 'the daughter of..''

'At least you are a daughter who does knows anything about football.' He smiled proudly.

The last time I played was like 6 years ago, I almost forgot everything about it, but I didn't said that to keep my dad in a good humour.

'Let's go then.' My dad headed to the front door.

'Bye.' I waved to my mom, sister and brother.

My mom told me to do more things with my dad, so probably this was one of them. Though this was going to be really awkward, because I didn't know any of them and they all were going to drink beer and sh*t, and then there is me.

I stepped into the car, next to my dad. He drove on a road, which I didn't know, but it's always good to discover new things right?

'So uh, who's house are we going to?' I asked him, not knowing who that person would be anyways, but just to break the silence.

'Remus' house.' He answered curtly.

'Last name?'

'Hadley.' He answered again.

It took me a time to realise it, but suddenly I did.

'Stop the car!' I stared in front of me.

'What? Why?' He was still shifting gears.

'Stop the damn car.' I yelled now, knowing that I sat in a car which was driving towards Cato's house.

* * *

**Hope you liked it! This chapter was a bit longer than usual, but i think that is a good thing right? **

**Ciaooo.**


	5. Limits?

**Okay surprise, new chapter! **

**Usually I upload this story only at Thursday and Sunday, but I already finished this chapter.**

**So yeah, here it is! Enjoy (:**

* * *

'Stop the f*cking car.' I told him again.

'Why?' My dad repeated.

'Because I know someone there, and I don't want to go anymore, just stop the car.'

'Crush?' My dad laughed.

'No!' I almost yelled and shook my head. 'I hate him. I f*cking hate him.'

'Well, try to hold your anger then.' He parked the car in front of a big house.

This couldn't be true, but I knew that there was no way out now, running away was lame.

We walked towards the door, when I realised what I was wearing. Though, Cato isn't worth seeing me in a dress or something, so sweaters and sweatpants are okay I guess.

Cato's dad, Remus, opened the door and greeted my dad in a weird mans-hug.

I just held my hand for him to shake, to be nice or something. He shook my hand, with a very strong handgrip which almost broke my finger bones, but I didn't said anything and just pulled my hand back.

The man leaded us into his house, which was pretty nice actually. I tried to let myself remember that I was here for my dad, and the football, not for Cato.

My mom was right, this wasn't a really good plan. Why did I even doubt about going?

I looked around myself and saw men hanging on the sofa with beers in their hands. I rolled my eyes and walked without a pardon towards the garden to call someone.

I doubted about who I should call, Jackie or Katniss. Not Annie, she wouldn't understand this problem I guess, she's more a girly-girl.

I decided to call Jackie, and held the phone to my ear.

...

'Hii!' I heard her saying through the phone.

'Jackie, I seriously have a problem here and you need to help me out okay.'

'What is it? You're doing drugs?'

'No! Well, my mom told me to do more things with my dad,' I told her.

'Yeah,'

'And, my dad suggested to go watch a soccer match with his new friends. And now I stand here, in Cato's f*cking garden.'

'You what!?' She yelled, which echoed through the phone. 'Get the f*ck out of there.'

'How? Running away is lame.'

'By the way, did you know that I play soccer too?' She laughed a bit.

'Wow? Seriously?' I said, making a face.

'I'll tell you another time. But uh, just put your ass down on a sofa, eat chips and watch the f*cking match. Nothing else.'

'Well I don't have a problem with eating food, so that'll be okay I guess.'

'If there is something, call me okay?'

'Okay.'

'Okay,'

'Okay.' I chuckled.

Finally it was Jackie who hang up, that stupid okay thing. You could say that word forever and it'll never be annoying to speak.

...

I walked back inside and hopped down on end of the sofa, next to my dad. Apparently the match already started, not that I cared about it.

I grabbed a bowl with chips of the table and pulled it on my lap, I started eating them one by one.

Everyone talked so loud I couldn't even hear myself thinking. I didn't watch the match, just focused on my lovely food, maybe I wasn't that anti-girly as I thought I was. I mean, everyone loves food?

Suddenly Cato walked inside the room, after a huge dog who scared the sh*t out of me.

I saw him staring at me.

'What?' I mumbled, but he didn't respond.

Probably because of the fact that he couldn't hear me because of all these people yelling at the TV screen. And then there was me, a girl in sweatpants curled up on the end of the sofa, eating chips and watching football, not that charming right? Right, that was exactly what I wanted.

I hoped that he would just ignore me, but he didn't. I saw him beckoning me, I just rolled my eyes. I didn't wanted to go, so I didn't move.

I just looked back at the screen again, and then the people around me explode and cheered because of a goal. I was supposed to be happy, but their reaction really scared me.

I quickly put the bowl of chips back on the table, and decided that I'd go towards Cato.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the garden. I slapped his hand off me. 'Don't f*cking touch me.' I muttered.

The only thing what was going through my head was ''Text Jackie.'' But I didn't had the time to.

Suddenly Cato and I stood in the middle of the garden. 'What?' I hissed.

'What are you doing here?' He almost laughed.

'Why the hell were you staring at me?' I frowned. I always win discussions.

'Well, I thought that my dad was just watching football with friends, and then there was you.' He answered.

'Why the hell were you staring at me?' I repeat, sounding a little more aggressive than last time.

'Because you're beautiful.'

'Cato, I was sitting on the couch wearing a sweater and sweatpants, eating chips and watching football. What the f*ck is wrong with you?'

'Nothing.' He smiled.

'Plus, I'm not interested.' I rolled my eyes.

'Once you will.'

'I still hate you.' I crossed my arms.

'Then I'm sorry.' He shrugged.

'That doesn't change a damn thing.' I was starting to get annoyed.

'Why not?'

'Because I hate you, and a 'sorry' is for apologizing. You can't apologize for being hated?'

'And why do you hate me?'

'Cato seriously. Shut the f*ck up.'

'Nah, I'd rather wait for an answer.'

I just changed the subject. 'What the hell did you do for a score of 128?'

'134 now.' He corrected me.

'Whatever, how?'

'Well uh, I just don't like to live a limited life.' He told me. 'So then you go work your own way outside the rules.'

'But you knew you would go to die that way right?'

'Yeah.'

'Then why didn't you just stop?'

'You're trying to draw a line which is a limit, Clove. Everyone is drawing these lines, life, death, they're limits too. I just step over the line.' He simply replied. 'When you're the second highest on the list of death, you can't get off it anyway. So whatever I do now, it doesn't matter anymore. There is not 23 who'd get a higher score.'

'That's true.' I admit. 'But you could stop earli-' I couldn't finish my sentence.

We were closer to each other than I thought we were, and so suddenly our lips met, and he kissed me. At some point I doubted, I didn't want to kiss back, neither I wanted to step back.

I just thought that I was standing there, but then I realised that I _was _kissing back.

So then I stepped back. 'Wow wait, what the fuck.' I mumbled.

'Like I said, I don't do limits.' He smiled at me.

'That doesn't mean you just can kiss me?!'

'Who are you fooling? You kissed back.'

'No I didn't.'

'You did.'

Guess that this was the first time I didn't win a discussion. 'I just – ugh!' I was so confused.

I didn't know what to do, every second I'd stand here any longer would make it more awkward. I decided to just run away from everything.

'Bye.' I said curtly, and walked inside his house, searching for my dad.

'Step over your lines, Clove!' He yelled after me.'

When I finally found him I told him that I was going to jog towards home.

'Okay.' He answered.

...

What the fuck did he mean with those lines? I'm not like Effie, playing around with some crayons to draw a line.

I quickly walked through the front door and ran as fast as I could down the road, away from the house where I just used to watch football, but then Cato came and changed everything. Though, running is a good way to reduce your feelings, especially when you're angry.

I just ran towards some streets, not knowing where to go, but I just kept running forward till I found a street I knew.

I stopped running to breathe normally again, and looked around myself. I've never been here before and this place is creeping me out.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and called Jackie again. After a few times ringing she picked up.

'Yeah?'

'Jackie I don't know what the hell just happened, but you need to pick me up.' I told her.

'Where are you?'

'Uh, I don't know.'

'Look for a street name?'

'There are none.'

'Just tell me what you see.'

'I see high houses, a group of people who are pretty creepy, oh and a canal.'

'Welcome in Amsterdam, these things are everywhere.' She laughed a bit. 'Discribe something more specifically.'

I just kept walking, to find something which she could notice.

'Oh here is a lake, and a forest. How is this even possible? I just walked in the city right?' I was pretty confused.

'On my wayyy.' I heard her footsteps through the phone.

Jackie hang up, and I was all alone again in a big city I don't know.

I always tried to tell myself that I should get lost and wander, because I didn't have any idea where it was going to lead me. But the only positive thing I know now, is that there is a forest here, with a lake.

I sat down on a big rock, waiting for Jackie.

...

10 minutes later her car stopped in front of me. I hopped down from the rock and opened the door.

I stepped in the car and sat down. 'Now tell me.' Jackie sounded really excited about what I had to say. 'What the hell just happened?'

'I don't.. I don't know?' I was not so sure if I had to tell this, and still I didn't accept what just happened.

'You do.' She said. 'Just tell me what happened there.'

'Well, I was just going to watch football there.'

'Why would you even go watch football with them?'

'My mom told me to do more things with my dad okay.' I told her. 'Well, I just sat there in a sweater and sweatpants eating chips.'

'You're lazy.'

'I know.' I nodded. 'But suddenly Cato walked inside the room with a f*cking dog.'

'Dogs are cute?'

'This one wasn't. That thing was huge!'

'Afraid of dogs?'

'Well, kind of, but we aren't talking about dogs.' I said. 'So he was staring at me, still eating the chips, and he beckoned me. But I didn't wanted to go. And suddenly I did.'

'Why the hell would you go towards him?' She frowned. 'Okay, maybe he is hot, but you hated him right?'

'Oh, I still hate him. Well then the people around me explode because of a goal, and that shocked me so I wanted to go away.'

'Get to the point, Clove. What happened?'

'We suddenly stood outside, and after a while he kissed me, okay.'

'HE WHAT?' She yelled.

'Just like I'm saying.'

'You know he has a girlfriend, right?' Jackie laughed.

* * *

**Poor Clove haha, so confused. Though i hope you liked it.**

**If you've got any ideas for the story i'd love to hear them. **


	6. Lockers

'He has got a girlfriend?' I repeated laughing. 'This only makes it more confusing for me.'

Jackie drove on a road, which I didn't know. 'I understand you.'

'Nah, you don't. I don't even understand myself, so how can you?'

She didn't respond, she just laughed and concentrated on the way which she drove on.

'We are going to get a dress tomorrow, right?' She suddenly said.

'Yeah of course.' I answered.

She parked the car in front of my house, and I opened the door. 'Thanks so much!' I said, and closed it.

It was already getting late, so I wanted to sleep.

...

I walked inside the house, my dad still was at Remus' house, so it was only me and my mom now, Shane wasn't at home and Lotus was sleeping.

'Where's your dad?' My mom asked me.

'Still there, you were right, it wasn't a good idea.' I stood in the hall.

'Why?'

'It just wasn't, I'll tell you later. I'm tired now.'

I walked towards the stairs, not waiting for another reply from her. Neither I wanted to hurt her feelings again, I already knew that I was a terrible daughter.

I walked inside my room, shutting the door behind me.

I closed the curtains, in case someone would watch me or something.

I put on a pyjama and lay myself down on my bed, under the sheets.

While staring at the ceiling I thought about all the things that happened today, and I came to the conclusion that literally nothing was normal.

It wasn't normal for me to go to school, and to wake up so early in the morning, let alone that it was normal to go to a school where they prick your finger for blood every day, where they had a killing list and are responsible for 23 deaths each year, plus the fact that no one could tell something about it. Then there was that human being with 134 points on the ''list of death'' - who I hate – and who kissed me this evening. Now I was stuck in a town like this.

''No, this isn't a fairy tale.'' Was my last thought before I fell asleep.

...

I winked a few times to get not blinded by the sunlight which shined right into my eyes. It was Thursday now, one more day and it was finally weekend. I didn't knew if I could do this any longer, yesterday happened a lot, and I was still tired of that.

I stretched my back and got out of my bed. 7:13 showed the screen of my alarm clock, which meant that I only had 45 minutes to get ready for school.

I headed towards the bathroom, splashed a bit of cold water in my face to wake up, and brushed my hair and teeth. After that I walked back to my room again, and stood in front of my closet, deciding what to wear, which was one of the hardest things to do every day.

Finally I chose a pair of dark jeans, and a black-grey-white top, and put them on. I decided to wear heels too, not because of that almost all the girls on school wear them, but more about the fact that I when I wear them, I'd finally be the size of an actual human being nowadays. I didn't get why they were all so big, and I was not. It felt like I was a Chihuahua compared to that huge dog thing from Cato, but no one ever said that Chihuahua's can't scare big dogs, I just have to bark a little big louder.

When I was finally done putting eyeliner and mascara on, I headed downstairs for breakfast.

Usually I never ate breakfast, but today I was pretty hungry. Lotus and my mom already sat at the table eating some scrambled eggs.

'Good morning!' My mom told me when I entered the room.

'Good morning.' I repeated, and sat down next to Lotus, on the place where I always sat at whenever we ate something. In between of Shane and Lotus, in front of my mom and dad, probably because I was the middle one of the children, so I sat in the middle.

I ate my breakfast a little bit faster than usual, which made my mom look a bit confused at me.

'Clove you're eating like you're in the hung-' She cut of her sentence.

'The hung what?' I frowned.

'No, nothing.' She shook it off.

'No, tell me.'

'No, just eat your scrambled fucking eggs.'

'Don't talk to my eggs like that.' I told her in the voice, in which she always corrected me if I ever swore.

My mom didn't answer anymore. No single word was spoken anymore.

'I have to go.' I broke the silence. 'Where is Shane?'

'He's still at a friend's house. You have to go to school on your own.' My mom answered.

I just shrugged 'Okay.', grabbed my bag and walked out of the house towards my scooter.

I quickly drove towards school, which wasn't a really good idea.

My stupid scooter 'died' when I almost arrived, so I had to push it towards the parking places.

...

I saw Katniss driving in her car, towards the car parking places. They all are a year older than me, so I still drive on scooters who give up the whole time, and they're in cars and shit like that, it's not fair.

Katniss opened up her window. 'What happened?' She asked me.

'I don't know,' I shrugged. 'my poor scooter just died.'

'Aw, rest in peace.' She smiled a bit. 'Do I have to help you?'

'Oh, no it's okay.' I pushed the scooter on its place in the parking area. Kat parked her car and walked with me inside the school.

'Maybe a friend of mine, Gale, can fix your scooter.' Katniss told me.

'Okay, that'd be great!' I responded, and then my eye caught the table with the woman, who pricks fingers for blood. 'Are they there every day?'

'Yup.' She answered, smiling. 'Some people said they're secretly vampires who want to see your blood.'

I laughed a bit, and held out my finger for the woman. She pricked in it, dipped my blood on a paper and scanned it.

This time the scan did work, and I just could move on.

...

'We've got History class together.' Katniss told me, while we walked down the hall on our way to the lockers. I just nodded, and tried to search my locker.

Finally I found it and threw my books in it, and grabbed the ones I needed. I slammed it till it closed, and walked back to Katniss, waiting till she was ready.

I rested my back against the locker next to her. Then I saw on the other side of the hallway, Cato standing there with Marvel and two blond girls I didn't know.

'Who are they?' I quietly asked Katniss. 'The girls, I meant.'

'Cashmere on the left, Glimmer on the right, why?' She answered. 'Jealous?'

I laughed. 'No way.'

So that was Cashmere, the one who invited me for her party, while I didn't even knew her.

'Don't talk to them, they want to ruin everything you have, your reputation, every single thing okay.' She warned me.

Warnings always made me wanting to do the thing which was so ''dangerous''.

We walked past them, and Cashmere grabbed my arm, so I turned around facing them all, including Cato.

'What?' I said, they're probably the it girls here, and high class destroys the high class, right?

'Wow, attitude.' Cashmere looked at me arrogantly. 'Are you sure you didn't want to go to our party?'

'You said 'this chance you'll get once in a lifetime' and now you're asking me again?' I answered.

She didn't said something back, she just touched the arm of the boy next to her, Marvel, like she wanted help in the conversation.

'Don't talk to her like that.' He said.

'Like what?' I frowned.

I noticed that a small group of people formed itself around us, they wanted a fight, as usual.

'Like uh..' Marvel didn't knew an answer I guess. 'No, just don't talk to my girlfriend like that, or I'll beat you.' He smiled at the last few words.

'Oh, now you're going to beat me, huh?' I crossed my arms, while I found the courage to say it. 'Go ahead.'

Though Marvel didn't do anything, which made it only more embarrassing for them both.

Glimmer slapped Cato's arm. 'Do something.' She muttered.

He shook his head. 'I am not going to do anything.' He said.

'Nope.' Katniss interrupted our almost fight thing. 'No one is going to do anything.' She pulled me away from them.

'You see?' Katniss said. 'There was a group of people around us, who are standing on their side, if you guys were going to fight Cash and Glimmer would do anything to ruin your life, trust me.'

'You're right. But still one time I'll beat them all.' I grinned and we walked inside the History class.

* * *

**Hope you liked itttt. Ideas etc. are always welcome :)**

**( I just finished reading Tfios by the way.. omg I cried so hard :o I wonder if John Green likes it to make people cry... ) **


	7. Partner

**Hope you all had a great weekend! **

**Have fun reading.**

* * *

I sat down next to Katniss, in the middle of the class.

Marvel, Cashmere, Cato and Glimmer walked inside the classroom too. So, they're in my class… great! Cashmere and Glimmer looked at me arrogantly, while the boys just walked to their seats like nothing happened.

'Open up page 124.' Mr. Abernathy said.

Everyone grabbed their books.

'This is the first time he isn't drunk.' Katniss whispered.

I laughed a bit. Haymitch looked at me, and wrote my name on the board, with one stripe behind it. What the fuck? Why did I got that?

I put up my hand, not making the same mistake as in Biology classes last time. 'Why did I got that stripe?' I asked him.

'You laughed.' He answered.

'Well, can't I laugh?' I frowned. 'Laughing is healthy, right?'

He draw another stripe. 'Are you done now?'

I wanted to say something back, but I didn't. 7 points in two days were enough for me.

'Good.' He continued his lesson. 'Now before we start, I've got a message from principal Snow.'

Mr. Abernathy grabbed a paper and read out loud. 'As you all know, this weekend we will go to the Unknown Woods. Friday evening we'll go there, and Monday we are back. Tuesday you're free from school, Wednesday you all are back here. Later this day, during your _Biology _lesson, we will publish the duo's you're going to spend that excursion with.'

I raised my hand again. 'No one ever told me about this?'

'When will you ever stop talking Clove?'

'After I get my questions answered.' I replied curtly.

'Great, well, every year two classes go towards the forest, and in the art of survival you have to survive for a weekend there. Without phones, brought food etc. Only a tent, a partner and a forest full of animals.'

'What if you're vegetarian?' Katniss asked.

'You'll starve to death.' Haymitch answered in a creepy voice.

'What if the animals go all the way around, and eat you instead of you eating them?' I said.

'Ew, Haymitch this is gross! I'm not going to spend a weekend in that fucking forest when there are animals and insects around.' Glimmer said.

'Yeah!' Cashmere interpreted 'Plus it's still March, it is almost freezing at night?'

'Do you guys want us to freeze to death? Or do you have another way to kill us?' Cato told him, and immediately his name stood on the board, with two stripes behind it. 'Apparently you chose for the second option. This is a way of killing us too.' He pointed at the board. Another stripe was been drawn on the board.

Though, everyone was right. Creepy animals, and it was freezing at night, and they want us to sleep in a fucking tent?

'At least, can we bring our own sleeping bags?' I asked Haymitch 'Or several sleeping bags?'

'No, you guys are going to cheat and bring your own food in these bags. You can't bring anything, just understand that.' He answered. 'And now, back to the book.'

The lesson went on, with all boring stuff I wouldn't remember.

...

Till that point I was flipping through the book and came on a page with ''The Hunger Games.'' As title, but no information was given underneath it, so it became on one way interesting for me.

I raised my hand, again!

'Do you have an interesting question now, Clove? Or is it bullshit like the other things you said?' Haymitch rolled his eyes.

'No, it's serious now.' I said.

'Okay what is the question?' 'What are..' I read the title in the book. 'The Hunger Games?'

Mr. Abernathy slammed with his hand on the table, what shocked everyone.

He talked to his handheld transceiver 'Emergency here. One of the students needs a new book, right now!'

Then he stepped towards the board and draw stripes behind my name. 10! Ten fucking stripes for a question? 'Wow why the hell did I get those?' I point at the board. But he didn't answer my question, and just went on with whatever he was doing. Though, this was not fair at all! I didn't do anything wrong!

'Oh congratulations Clove.' Haymitch suddenly said. 'If you double your points you have are ranked 24th on the list.'

I could hear Cato laugh, probably this remembered him of what happened yesterday, when I congratulated him on his place. The laughing gave him another point.

I don't get why they gave away these stripes so easily, it's like they think that we don't matter. They want us to die or something.

'What is my score?' I asked.

'Usually we can't say this through the lesson, but we'll create an exception for you.' Haymitch told me. 'Your score is seventeen.'

'What are the highest and lowest scores?'

'A lot of people still have a score of 0, but the highest is 162 now.'

'Oh, in that case I'm doing pretty good right?' I smiled.

'Clove, you're only two days here, and it's 91 days till the ranking list ends. If you 17 divided by 2, is 8,5, which you multiply with 91, you'd get 773. So no, you're not off to a really good start.'

'Are you sure you are not a math teacher?' Cato said.

'773?!' I heard several people mumble through the class.

'Well,' I almost yelled through the class. 'I'm sure that that number literally would kill me.'

...

The bell rang, and everyone stood up.

'Wait a second!' Mr. Abernathy said. 'You all don't speak a word about what's just said, especially Clove's score. Not a word, do you understand?'

People mumbled 'yes' and 'yeah.' And then walked out of the classroom.

I was still shocked about my score, 773 was really, really much!

The rest of the day I shut my mouth, not wanting more points.

...

At our last hour, during Biology, finally the duo's would be told. I sat down next to Peeta, just like last time.

Effie Trinket walked inside the classroom too, with a little white paper. Everyone was still talking so I could speak too.

'Peeta, help!' I whispered. 'I have something like 17 points already.'

His eyes widened. 'What the fuck? How?'

'I don't know!?'

'Okay silence!' Effie yelled through the lesson. 'I will tell you your partners for the weekend of survival'

Everyone kept quiet immediately.

'Your partner for the weekend of survival is being chosen on a alphabetically basis of your last name. There are no changes, just accept it, even when you don't like it.' She said. 'Okay, Glimmer with Annie.'

I heard Annie reacting a little bit shocked, she didn't like Glimmer at all, this was almost more than just hate.

'Katniss with Jackie.' I heard them cheering, of course, they had each other!

Effie named a lot of names, I just stared outside the window.

Suddenly I heard my name 'Clove, with Cato.'

'WHAT?!' I yelled, where after I covered my mouth with my hand, to not say something anymore.

I can't spend a weekend with Cato! I'd rather die than being in a tent for three fucking days with that boy. Seriously, isn't there anyone with an I or J as surname?

I clenched my fists, no I couldn't go with Cato, this just couldn't be true! And I thought that my weekend was going to be relaxed, no way that that is going to be relaxed now.

'Peeta with Finnick.'

After she named all our partners I heard someone saying my name. 'Psst, Clove!'

I turned my head and saw that it was Glimmer.

'What?' I mumbled back.

'If you're going to touch my boyfriend, trust me, I'd kill you!'

'Who's your boyfriend?' I frowned.

Glimmer patted on Cato's shoulder.

'Oh that makes a lot of sense.' I rolled my eyes. 'Trust me, I won't touch him. Maybe you should tell him the same thing.' I said that because Cato was the one who kissed me yesterday.

The rest of the day I didn't spoke any of my friends anymore, afraid that I would react differently on whatever they would say because of my anger which was still inside of me. I would text them later or something. But now I just walked towards my scooter, and I realised that that thing wasn't fixed yet. I didn't feel like searching Katniss and that Gale, so I just decided to walk home.

So I walked towards home, which was a pretty fucking long way, so I walked quick, not knowing which way I should go.

Suddenly a black car drove next to me, on my tempo. A window opened, and I saw that it was Cato. Of course it had to be him.

'Need a ride?' He asked me.

'No.' I answered curtly.

'Clove, get in the car.' He said.

'I have legs, see, which can walk.'

'I'm not going to let you walk all the way home.'

'You should better do that, I'm not stepping in that fucking car of you.' I just kept walking forward..

'Get in, or I'll push you in this fucking car.' He grinned.

'Oh we're going to play this way, okay then. Too bad that I don't like these games.' I rolled my eyes, and still looked forward.

'Stop making this any harder than it is, just get in, I need to talk to you.'

I rolled my eyes, and opened the door of the car.

* * *

**Hope you liked it (:**

**So Cato and Clove are going to spend a weekend together, review your comment's / reaction. **


	8. Crash

'Finally.' Cato mumbled when I sat down on the seat next to him.

I crossed my arms and looked out of the window. 'I'm not going to talk a word to you, just drive me home.' I muttered.

He drove pretty fast over the road, which was kind of scary. I still stared out of the window, and recognized the forest and the lake.

'Uh, Cato. My house is the other direction.' I said.

'I know.' He smiled.

'Then turn around and drive the correct direction.'

'Nah.' He answered. 'I like this way better.'

'I'm warning you, turn around or I will do it.' I told him.

'Go ahead.'

'Fine.' I muttered and grabbed the steering wheel. The car moved in all directions, except the one I should go, I would get the car crashed this way, but Cato just let me doing this, and loose his grip on the steering wheel.

'You know we are going to crash this way.' He said as calm as possible.

'I know! Goddamn I can't drive a fucking car okay.' I almost yelled. I was starting to get a little nervous.

'Clove you are not going to crash my car, okay?'

'Then fucking help me.' I sounded more terrified than I was, but still I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. Even my heart wanted to escape out of this fucking car.

'Nah.' He shrugged. 'You said you'd turn the car around, so go ahead.'

'I CAN'T.' I yelled, and tried to attack him. It was pretty useless what I was doing, after a while he pushed me away, back to my seat.

'What the fuck are you doing?' He grinned.

I rubbed my head which just bumped against the car door. 'I don't know.' 'Are you okay?' He looked at my head.

Then I noticed that no one was holding the steering wheel. I got up from my seat and sat half on his seat to get to the steering wheel. The car was still shaking, and we still could crash.

'Cato don't just sit there, for fucks sake help me.' I told him, still sounding terrified.

He didn't answer, he didn't grab the steering wheel, nope he didn't do anything.

I realised that I was going to drive on a highway, and the car was shaking like hell. If I didn't crash this car, others would get into the crash too.

'Cato grab the fucking steering wheel.' I said. My heart was beating way faster than it should.

'' _Focus Clove. Just focus!' _I tried to calm myself down and keep the car on one road, not more than one.

Then I saw that Cato's foot was still on the accelerator, so I kicked the brake and drove the car into a bank of sand next to the road.

It stood still, finally. Though we crashed into sand, but we weren't dead! I still held the steering wheel with both hands, which were shaking like hell.

'Smart..' He said.

'Is that sarcasm?' I frowned, and realised that I was breathing pretty heavily.

'Nope.'

...

'Why the fuck didn't you help me?' I asked him. 'We could have died! And you just sat there doing nothing!' I almost wanted to attack him again.

'You still don't get it?'

'No of course I don't get that!'

'Maybe I thought that you were smarter than you actually are.' He smiled.

'Maybe I thought that you were a disappointment, and I was fucking right.'

I wanted to slap him, but he grabbed my arm. 'Calm down.' He said.

'I can't calm down! We just could ha-'

'Clove I did this for a reason.' He interrupted me. 'The problem was that you had no idea what you were doing.'

'Do you mean that you expected that I could drive a car?'

'No, but you said that you would turn the car around.'

'That doesn't mean that I can do that?'

'Exactly. You don't know what you're doing till you do it.' He answered, while he still held both of my arms in case I'd attack him again. 'This is the same thing with school, and these points. You have no idea what you were doing there, suddenly you could have crashed, and died. The only way to survive is just to stop.'

'What do you mean?'

'That you need to stop gaining these points.'

'You aren't going to tell me what to do.' I frowned.

'Clove, what you just did with this car was similar to the problem with school. You said you could do it, but didn't know what you did, then you started to panic because you would die. Then you tried to attack me, but there isn't anything I can do to help you. You have to stop it on your own, and if you don't you will die.'

'Oh..' I looked down. 'Sorry.'

'It's okay.' He told me.

'No, seriously. I am sorry.' I saw that I was still sitting on the half of his seat, while mine was completely empty, but I didn't feel like going to mine now.

'By the way, you shouldn't worry about that 773 points. He's just trying to make you afraid.'

'That is almost 600 points higher than the highest score, I guess that that is something to be afraid of.'

'The first three days are the worst. I had 43 points during the first three days, you only 17 now. Just stop acting like that in classes, so you don't make the same mistake as I did.'

He pulled his arm around me, which for the first time wasn't slapped away by me. We sat there for minutes, awkwardly sitting in a fucking car which just crashed into sand. My heart was still beating really fast, but I didn't care about that.

'Thanks for the advice, but I still hate you.' I mumbled, which made him laugh.

'Is your head okay?' He asked me.

'It hurts a bit, but it's okay I guess.'

'I pushed you harder than I wanted to, sorry.'

'No, it's okay.'

'Let's get you towards your home, shall we?'

'Okay.' I answered quietly and moved back to my seat, which was cold now.

...

'FUCK!' I suddenly said, and checked my phone.

'What's wrong?' Cato looked up at me.

'I should have gone shopping with Jackie. Goddamn I totally forgot.'

'Go call her?'

I nodded, opened the door, and stood outside next to the highway.

I called Jackie. After 3 times ringing she picked up.

'Jackie I'm so sorry! I totally forgot. ' I told her.

'Where the fuck are you?'

'Next to a highway, sorry for the noise.'

'Why at a highway?'

'I , uh we crashed.'

'Oh my god are you okay?'

'Yeah I'm fine.'

'Who is 'we'?' Her voice changed a bit.

'Me and Cato.'

'Damn it Clove, you see? You always get in trouble with him. He could have killed you in that car?'

'Don't get me wrong, I crashed the car.'

'Yeah, and who is the owner of that car? Who got you in that car? Who made you drive? Exactly.' In some points Jackie was right.

'I'm glad that you are okay, I'll pick you up at eight, for the party okay?'

'Okay. Thanks Jackie!' I smiled, still a bit shocked of her reaction.

'Bye.'

'Bye..' I hang up the phone and glared back at the position of the car, which was even weirder than I thought, plus it was pretty stuck in the sand.

I hopped back on the seat inside the car.

'Was she mad?' Cato asked me immediately.

'Yeah, kind of.' I answered. Actually Jackie was more shocked about the fact that I was in a car with him than about the fact that we crashed, but okay..

Cato got the car riding backwards out of the sand, back on the normal road. Then he moved it forward, and just drove down the highway, in the good direction towards home.

'It looks so easy when you do it.' I mumbled while I looked at the steering wheel. 'When the car is driving, I mean. We both know that I can park this thing way better than you.'

'You what?'

'Did you ever parked a car in a bank of sand? Exactly.' I grinned.

After that we didn't really talk anymore, so I did. Not because I wanted to talk to him, I still hated him and stuff, but to avoid the awkward silence.

'By the way, tell Glimmer that if she says a word wrong to Annie during that survival thing, I'd kill her.'

When I realised that he was her _boyfriend, _I almost slapped myself. I really had to think before I spoke.

But all he said was 'Okay.'

* * *

**It was a little bit weird this chapter, but okay. I'd like to know your opinion :P**

**As usual REVIEW = MORE :D**

**Oh and I have good news, for this story. I think I'm quitting my other story, or taking a break so I can write this story only. It's hard to write two stories at the time, so yeah. **

**So I am able to almost post a chapter every day! ( As you guys reviewed.)**

**Love you all!**


	9. Social media

Actually it surprised me that he wasn't mad or something, but I didn't ask more about it, I just let it be.

'Here to the rig-'

'I know where your house is.' He interrupted me.

'You do?' I frowned. 'How?'

'I drove by when you and your boyfriend went to school.

' 'He is not my fucking boyfriend.' I muttered. 'Shane is my brother. Goddamn why does everyone think that he is my boyfriend.'

'So eh, you're single?'

'Yeah.' I rolled my eyes. He didn't respond any longer, he just nodded.

After a while he stopped the car in front of my house. I opened the door, and got my bag. 'Thanks.' I said.

'I'll pick you up tomorrow, 8 am.' He rolled down the window.

'You are?' I raised my eyebrow.

'Your scooter is still not fixed, is it?' He grinned.

'Shane can bring me to school.'

'I don't care. 8 am.' And then he drove away. I never said that I wanted a ride to school tomorrow, but okay.

I walked on the path which leaded towards the door. I noticed that my dad was standing in front of the window, looking what I was doing. I opened up the door, and walked inside the kitchen.

'How was school?' My dad walked towards me.

'Weird.' I shrugged, I couldn't tell him about the fact that I was halfway the death list. Stupid conspiracy of silence.

'Dad, can I ask you something?' I dropped my bag next to the table.

'Yeah of course.'

'What are the Hunger Games?' I asked him.

He shook his head. 'How do you know that name?'

'Well there was a book, and there was a paragraph with 'The Hunger Games' as title, I asked my teacher what it was, because of the fact that the rest of the page was completely white. But he just yelled at me.'

'I can't tell you this.' My dad told me, and changed the subject. 'Where is your scooter?'

'Still at school, it didn't start anymore. That's why he brought me home.' I rolled my eyes.

'Though, why don't you want to tell me what the Hunger Games are? Is it secret or something?'

'Clove I just can't tell y-'

I cut his sentence off. 'I. Want. To. Know.'

'Go to your room.'

'What?!'

'Go to your room.' He repeated.

...

I ran up the stairs, and got into my room. I locked the door and hopped down on my bed while

I grabbed my phone. Maybe I should text Jackie, I still feel sorry for her, we promised to go shopping for that dress. Shit, the dress! Tonight was the party of Katniss, and I didn't have a dress now.

_**17:03 : Jackie I'm sorry that we couldn't get a dress.**_

_[Jackie] 17:04 : It's okay, I already got one out of my closet, do you have one? _

_**17:04 : I'll search one, somewhere. **_

_[Jackie] 17:04 : Are you okay, from that crash thing? What happened by the way?_

_**17:05 : I am not as good in driving cars as I thought... oops.**_

_[Jackie] 17:05 : TELL MEEE!_

_**17:06 : I'll tell you at the party, okay?**_

_[Jackie] 17:06 : This doesn't feel good, too long story for a message?_

_**17:07 : Kinda. I learned a life lesson from crashing a car, is that weird?**_

_[Jackie] 17:07 : Yup it is. Tonight I am going to hear every single fucking detail. _

_**17:07 : Okay, okay.. I'm going to find a dress now. Byeeeee. **_

_[Jackie] 17:08 : Ciao, see you at 8._

I threw my phone away on the pillows, and headed to my closet. I looked everywhere, but couldn't find a dress, fuck! Maybe my mom had one, but she wasn't home now.

...

My phone vibrated again, so I checked it. Message from an unknown number, okay that's weird.

_[Unknown] 17:15 : Glimmer wants to fight you tomorrow, be prepared. _

_**17:18 : Who the fuck are you? And why does that thing wants to fight with me?**_

_[Unknown] 17:19 : Cato. And I don't know, I don't get that 'thing.'_

_**17:19 : You call your gf a 'thing'. You suck at being a boyfriend, I guess. **_

_[Cato] 17:19 : Probably. Want to test?_

_**17:20 : -.-'**_

_[Cato] 17:21 : Don't make a screenshot of this conversation. Just don't._

_**17:21 : Great idea, thanks a lot ;)**_

_[Cato] 17:22 : …_

_**17:22 : Nothing to say huh?**_

_[Cato] 17:25 : Are you an Avox? You're leaving me speechless here._

_**17:23 : What is an Avox?**_

_[Cato] 17:23 : Can't explain, the government can read all my texts. Google it._

_**17:24 : I don't even get why I am talking to you.. I'll google it later, once upon a time. **_

_[Cato] 17:25 : Once upon a time can be anytime. _

_**17:26 : Fuck off with your quotes, and tell me how I get prepared for a fight?**_

_[Cato] 17:26 : I don't know. I'm just bringing popcorn I guess. _

_**17:27 : K bye..**_

_..._

I rolled my eyes and threw my phone away, he was so annoying. My phone vibrated a few more times, but I didn't grab it. How did he even get my number?

I walked towards my parents' bedroom and got in the closet of my mom. I finally found a dress, who could fit me. It was a really deep dark blue one, which fell just above my knees. I'd pick this one, so I grabbed it and lay it down on my bed.

2 and half hours left till Jackie would pick me up, I guess I was going to do some research to these Avoxes and Hunger Games.

I grabbed my laptop and typed in the google bar 'Avox.' Which gave me pretty much results. That was easier than I thought. I clicked the first one in the list, for information. The link gave me a site which said that Avoxes were; people who broke the law, they tongues got cut off so they couldn't speak anymore and they became waiters for the tributes in the Hunger Games.

I googled 'The Hunger Games' to find out more information about that, but there were way too much results, seems like I'm not the only one who wants to know what it is. I clicked one of the links, but it gave me a black page.

I clicked a few other sites, but the pages were all black, what was really weird. I gave up clicking more sites, it was no use. Probably the government had blocked all these sites.

I hopped down on my bed again, and tried to think logically. 'The Hunger Games' had waiters and waitresses for the tributes. It's probably an eating competition, that explains the '_Hunger Games' _name too. Though I didn't get why people would try to hide that, it's just food right? Or was I just stupid to think like this.

I grabbed my phone again, and finally read the messages I got.

_[Cato] 17:28 : No just kidding, don't fight with her._

_[Cato] 17:30 : Don't you dare to not reply now._

_[Cato] 17:31 : -.-'_

_[Cato] 17:32 : Whenever you read this, do NOT fight tomorrow._

_**17:56 : Why not? Afraid your girlfriend will get hurt? ^^**_

_[Cato] 17:57 : Nah, you'll get more points on the death list when you fight someone._

_**17:57 : You really don't give a fuck about her, do you?**_

_[Cato] 17:58 : Nope. _

_**17:58 : I was right. You are an awful boyfriend ..**_

_[Cato] 17:59 : You'd do exactly the same if you were in my position. You have no idea how annoying she is -.-'._

_**18:00 : Lmao. If love was a game, would this be a 'game over?'**_

_[Cato] 18:00 : And you said that I needed to shut up with quotes._

_**18:01 : Player 1 seems to cheat on the game ;)**_

_[Cato] 18:01 : I see what you did there._

_**18:02 : Good. Now don't text me again, I don't play your games. **_

I was seriously getting better in pissing people off, but this was not that easy actually. Though it was 2-0 for me, take that Cato. It was actually funny how he cared more about my points than about the fact that I'd beat his girlfriend tomorrow. I almost started to doubt over that I hated him, but I told myself that I still did.

...

I dropped my clothes and tried to fit on the dress, with a lot of struggling I finally was able to zip the back. I twisted a circle, well it fitted, that's good. I found some matching black heels, but didn't put them on already. First time for dinner, I thought.

I walked downstairs, and smelled the food from the kitchen. Probably something with chicken.

I hopped on the sofa and turned on the TV, watching an random channel which I didn't even know. I wasn't really interested anyways, and just grabbed my phone and checked my Instagram.

I scrolled through the photos till I accidently tapped on Katniss' profile. I shrugged, and looked her followers, to find that Gale person.

When I finally found his profile, I saw a picture of him and Katniss, kissing!

It was posted 17 minutes ago, so it was pretty recent. How could she?

I was pretty sure that she and Peeta were a couple, but what the fuck was this?

Just when I started following Gale, I got a message from Peeta.

_[Peeta] 18:46 : Clove :'(_

_[Peeta] 18:46 : Help me._

_**18:47 : What's wrong?**_

_[Peeta] 18:47 : Go check Instagram…_

_**18:48 : Oh that.. yeah I just saw it. I'm sorry.**_

_[Peeta] How COULD she do this?_

_**18:49 : Well, I don't know. Maybe it was an old picture? It said 'Missed these times'. **_

_[Peeta] 18:50 : If it was an old picture, It would be 'miss these times.' Right?_

_**18:51 : Yeah.. I'm really sorry for you.**_

_[Peeta] 18:51 : We've been together for almost two years! _

_**18:52 : Are you still going to her party?**_

_[Peeta] 18:52 : No way._

_**18:53 : You should go, I think. Avoiding each other only makes it worse.**_

_[Peeta] 18:53 : I can't go.. but do you please want to confront her with this? _

_**18:54 : Okay.. I gotta eat now, I'll talk to you later okay?**_

_[Peeta] 18:54 : Okay, bye._

Poor Peeta.. I wonder how many relationships would be way much better if social media didn't exists.

Though I didn't expect this from Katniss, I'd talk to her at her party.

* * *

**Naww poor Peeta. Next chapter is going to be a little more 'Clato' (:**

**Though, i hope you enjoyed this social media chapter thing. **

**Stay tuned! **

**REVIEW = MORE ;D**


	10. Party

**Heeeeey readers! **

**I just wanted to thank you all for your support, it really means a lot to me.**

**Have fun reading (:**

* * *

After I ate my dinner, it was almost 8 pm so Jackie could be here any minute.

I ran upstairs and quickly fixed my makeup a bit, and put on the heels. I told myself several times that I wouldn't fell down the stairs on these things.

Then I heard a car stopping in front of my house, so I rushed downstairs.

I quickly grabbed a jacket and went outside. It was pretty cold, so I immediately walked towards Jackie's car.

I opened the door, and sat down on the seat. The cold feeling of an unseated seat reminded me of what happened four hours ago, in Cato's car.

Jackie drove away towards Katniss' house. 'So, what happened?' She asked me.

'With the car thing?' I frowned. 'Well, you know that my scooter wasn't working anymore, so I wanted to walk to home.'

'Yeah..?' Jackie nodded, confirming that she was listening.

'So on my way Cato was driving next to me, and asked if I wanted to get in. I was like 'No.' but he didn't wanted me to walk all the way home, so after a while I got in the car.' I continued my story. 'And then we just drove on the way, but he was riding the wrong direction, so I told him that he'd turn around, or I'd do it. He didn't wanted to, so I had to do it. And then it went wrong, because I couldn't drive a car, and he didn't wanted to help me. Suddenly I drove on a fucking highway, kicked the brake and crashed into a bank of sand next to the road.'

'Why didn't he wanted to help you? Seriously did he want to kill you or something?' Jackie asked me.

'No, it was just a warning for what I was doing with these school points I guess. I didn't know what I was doing, and could have killed us. He told me that he couldn't help me and I'd figure out on my own.'

'Clove, he should have helped you! Even if it was a warning, he just could have told you that. You could be dead now!'

'Yeah..' I looked down. 'I'm not that smart as everyone thinks I am.'

'Ah, just drink it all away this evening.' Jackie smiled.

...

She stopped the car in front of a house, which had to be Katniss'. We got out of the car, and walked towards the front door.

'Wait,' I mumbled. 'Cato isn't invited, right?'

Jackie pointed at a big house on the other side of the road. 'They're there, Cashmere's house.'

'Oh, good.'

Katniss opened up the door, and we walked in. 'Nice house.' I frowned while I looked around myself.

A lot of people were dancing while others were drinking some of them played beer pong, the room was full of people. Katniss grabbed me and Jackie's arm, and pulled us to a sofa, with a lot of drinks on the table in front of it.

We talked and drank some shots, till I had to tell them. 'I'm probably going to fight tomorrow with Glimmer.'

'Why?' Katniss and Jackie laughed.

'I told Cato to tell her that if she was going to say one wrong word to Annie, her partner, I'd kill her. Probably she didn't appreciate that and now she wants to fight.'

'You better fight tonight, instead of tomorrow in school.' Katniss said. 'There you'd get points for it, and here no one will do something about it right?'

That was actually pretty smart what she said.

'Probably Cato would.' Jackie nodded.

'Maybe, we shall see, right?' Katniss told her.

I got up quickly, a bit too quickly because I got dizzy immediately, but I didn't sat down again. 'Well, let's go then?' I sounded more confident than I really was. 'They are on the other side of the road, right?'

'I think the alcohol is speaking for you.' Katniss got up too. 'But I want to see a fight! Where's Annie?'

Annie ran towards us, a little bit stumbling over her heels. 'Who is going to fight?!' she seemed excited.

'Clove and Glimmer.' Jackie answered

I got a little hyped up because of all what they were saying. 'Jackie, grab your phone, you have to film it!'

'Do it for the Vine!' Jackie cheered, when we walked through the door.

'Just beat her once, but do it good, she isn't going to mess with Annie.' Katniss gave me some advice.

'Oh trust me, I'm going to break her like a wrecking ball.' I laughed.

'That attitude of her needs to be broken.' Annie said.

I almost couldn't control myself anymore, I never drank so I wasn't used to it, but this and aggression isn't a great combo. Though, I wouldn't put my money on her, she was going down!

Katniss, Jackie, Annie and I walked to the door of Cashmeres house. I knocked on the door, while they stood a few steps behind me.

After a while someone opened the door.

Just after the door was opened, I saw Glimmer standing there. I made a fist and punched her in her face, against her jawbone, where after she immediately fell onto the ground. Well that was easier than I thought, but I could still feel the tinkling in my hand.

'Surprise, motherfucker.' I said as seriously possible, and looked down at her.

'CATO!' She squealed. 'Get this piece of trash out of here.'

Cato ran into the hall, and stopped after he saw her laying on the ground, and me standing in the doorway.

'What's wrong Glimmer? I thought that you wanted to fight.' I frowned.

'What the fuck happened here?' Cato looked at me, then at Glimmer, and back at me.

'She came in like a wrecking ball!' Jackie and Katniss yelled together.

'All I wanted was to break y-' I slammed the wall made of stone next to the door, which made my hand bleeding, and it hurt like hell. I screamed and tried to shake it off, but that didn't work.

'GET HER OUT OF HERE.' Glimmer screamed.

'Fine.' Cato rolled his eyes, stepped over her body which still lay on the ground, and walked towards me.

I just crossed my arms. 'Should I be afraid now, or what?'

'Knock her out!' Glimmer tried to get up, where after she dramatically fell onto the ground again

. I just grinned at her pathetic act here. Cato didn't even turn around to look at her, and lifted me from the ground.

He walked to I don't know where, but away from the Cashmere's house, that was for sure. Katniss, Jackie and Annie just stood there.

...

'Cato put me down.' I said, but didn't struggle or something.

He tightened his grip on me. 'Don't talk to me like I'm a fucking dog.'

'Seriously, you're going to break my ribs like this.'

'Bitch please, I'm just hugging you.' He grinned.

I tried to breathe. 'If this is a hug, then I don't want to be hugged.' Actually this was the first time that I felt how muscular he was, though I didn't liked that really much now.

After a while he finally put me down, in an alley, I don't know where I was right now but okay. It felt good to stand on my own feet again, but my feet started to hurt from the heels. Actually I could run away now, but I didn't.

'Since when did 'trash' became attractive?' Cato said.

'Dogs likes trash?' I smiled a bit.

'No seriously, did you ever notice that literally everything she says, is a command?'

'No offense to you, but she _is_ a bitch.'

'I know, but why did you actually came to fight her? I told you to not do it.'

'You draw a line for me, okay. And oops I crossed it.'

He laughed, and pinned me against one of the walls of the alley. Then he kissed me, again. I might be a bit drunk, but I knew exactly what was going on.

This just felt wrong, well actually it felt good, but it shouldn't because I still hate him right, and that was what's wrong.

I tried to push him away from me. 'What the fuck are you doing?'

'Maybe you should learn to cross your own limits too.' The rough wall scraped my back. Just when he was about to kiss me again, I pushed him away. 'You have a girlfriend!' I almost yelled, I was so confused.

'So?' He frowned. 'I like you more.'

'W-Wait what?' I stuttered. 'You only know me for two days now.'

'Yup, in two days I feel more for you than in a year with Glimmer, says enough right?' He had _feelings_ for me? Well that was pretty unexpected, even though he kissed me yesterday. He was probably just playing around, testing my limits or something.

I bumped my head against the stones of the wall. 'Sorry.' He laughed, and kissed me on top of my head.

According to that I just know him two days, this was all going a bit fast for me. Though it feels like I knew him longer than just today, but I still hated him right? Or I didn't hate him? It was weird to admit that I didn't hate him anymore, because I did hate him before.

The thing is, I was afraid of love. I never got the point of it, or I just had the wrong boyfriends back in district two. Couples just were flirting with each other, kissing, or having sex, but when it comes to a mentally hurting thing they let go so easily. You give your heart away, and they keep it or just run away with it.

Then I realised that I might be falling for this boy, just didn't ever want to. I fell in love the way you would fall from a flat, regretting and knowing that once upon a time you will be left on the ground, broken and dead. And yeah, that was something to be afraid of.

* * *

***Ruining Glato* muhahaha. Oh well, i hate their ship anyways.**

**Hope you liked it. :) So this is the 10th chapter, and I'd really like to know your opinion so far.**

**REVIEW = MOREEE.**


	11. Disappointed

'Come on, give me a chance?' He smiled.

'No.' I answered, putting up a fake smile. Just because of that I was falling for him, didn't mean that I wanted him to notice that immediately.

'Let's ask this on a other way, if I was the last person alive, would you date me?'

'I can't!' I shrugged.

'Why not?' He looked a bit more serious now.

'Because, if you were the _last_ person alive, that means that I'm dead, silly.' I told him. 'But as long as we are alive, I would.' I moved a little bit away from the wall and quickly kissed him.

'Good.' He said, and kissed me back.

Not like that this was a big deal, I only told him that if he was the last (not counting me) person alive. I would date him, that still doesn't say anything, but for him it did. 'Does that mean that you'd do the same now?' He said while he stroked my hair.

I had to think about that, when he noticed that, his hand went to my neck and I felt something sharp pressed against it. I looked down, my heart skipped a beat when I saw that it was a pocket knife. 'Don't make me do this.' He whispered.

My body almost froze, and I had to find the courage to answer. 'You're almost forcing to let me tell you a 'yes' But I'll stick to a 'maybe'.'

'Okay.' He slowly put down he knife, folded it in and put it in his pocket again.

'Well that wasn't very romantic or something.' I crossed my arms.

'I just wanted to know if you were afraid of a knife.' He smiled.

'You told me to not get these points at school, because of the fact that they'll kill me. But you just could have killed me.'

'I didn't want to kill you.'

'Shouldn't we go back, Glimmer is probably waiting for you.' I changed the subject.

'She is probably still acting like a drama queen and lays on that floor.' He said. 'We can stay here for a couple of minutes, or longer..'

'Fine.' I said, and almost fell on the ground because of my knees who were so tired of standing.

'You okay?' He grabbed my arm to keep me from falling.

'Yeah, I'm just tired.'

'I don't want to hear that kind of excuses. What's wrong?'

'No, really I'm tired.' I tried to walk away.

He stopped me. 'You think that I'm going to let you leave while you're upset?' He asked me. 'What's wrong?'

'I don't know, it just all goes a little bit fast okay? We only know each other for two days.' I admitted.

'Oh, okay.' He kissed me again on my cheek.

'This is exactly what I mean.' I rolled my eyes.

'Well if that was too fast..' He started.

I interrupted him. 'I'm done.' I sighed, shook my head and walked away from the alley, towards the street.

...

Cato followed me. 'What did I do wrong?'

I ignored him, and tried to find the way back.

'Clove?!'

I still didn't reply, what did he meant with that ''if that was too fast?'' what the hell did he expected from me? The hate feelings returned a bit, and I thought that I was falling for him, I was so stupid. I was funny how my mood could change in one minute. It's just the thing when you put your trust into someone, and they screw it up and ruin everything. I had made a mistake, and I'd never make that one again.

'Clove for fucks sake, wait a second.' He grabbed my arm, not that innocent, romantic or even unpainful, This was more like he really wanted to hurt me.

I tried to slip away out of his grip, but it was no use.

'Cato, I'm seriously warning you.' I mumbled, my eyes were burning in hate.

Still, he didn't let go my arm. 'Fine, if you want to play this this way.' He pulled me towards another alley, there were fucking much of these here in this street.

'I swear to god, I'm going to kill you if you don't let me go now.' I tried to slap him away.

He twisted my arm behind my back, which made me winch in pain. 'What did you say?' He smiled.

The arm twisting thing really reminded me of my ex-boyfriend back in district 2, he had once broken my arm like that, just because of that he thought that I was cheating on him. That was about a year ago, and for some reason my bone in my arm was still weak, Cato could break it easily now, and that's why he needed to let go.

'C-Cato.' I mumbled quietly, I couldn't make more noise coming out of my mouth. 'Let go. It fucking hurts okay.'

My eyes were collecting enough tears to drop down a waterfall. I was right, again. I jumped from a flat building for him, just to fall, but I guess that I already crashed on the ground, and this is the 'broken' moment, how ironic if he would kill me now. Though he didn't gave in, not even a little bit.

He even wanted to start a conversation like this. 'So, how did it feel when you fell from heaven?'

'Probably as hurtful as when you got kicked out of hell.' I sighed and tried for the thousandth time to get away. 'For fucks sake at least loosen your grip!'

'You are going to run away if I do that.'

'Yeah, what the hell do you expect from me? That you almost can break my arm here and I would stay?'

'Clove please, I don't want to lose my challenge.' He said while he tried to force me a little more to give up.

I bite my lip to reduce the pain, which was demanding to be felt. I sneaked my other hand, which was in his grip too only not as much as the other one, into his pocket to fight the knife.

'What challenge?' I frowned. 'So, I am just a challenge to you? Is that what you want to say?!' I flipped the knife open and held it to his neck. First I had to twist around a bit, which made my arm hurt even more.

'You almost force me to say no, but I'll stick with the 'maybe.'' He answered smiling.

'I'm seriously not afraid to slit your throat, Hadley. It is a 'yes' or a 'no', not a 'maybe'.' I mumbled.

He was thinking pretty long about it, and finally let go my arm. I sighed in a relief of the pain, which was still there, but didn't get much worse now.

'Do you want the awful truth, or a sweet lie?' He finally said.

I didn't want to hear that bullshit anymore, so I just made a scar on the back of his neck, where a little bit of blood came flowing out. Then I just walked away, leaving him there, the son of a bitch. I clenched my hand around the pocket knife that I stole, and whipped the drop of blood away. There after I had to wipe my own tears away, which turned black instead of see-through because of the mascara.

I grabbed my phone and called Katniss, she picked up after two rings.

'Clove where are you?' She asked me.

'I don't know,' I said, my voice still sounding weird because of the crying. 'but you need to come.'

'Clove are you okay?' I heard another voice, probably Annie's. They put me on loudspeaker.

'Not really, wait a sec, I'm coming.' I answered when I recognized one of the streets.

'We're going outside now. Goddamn, we were all worried about you!' Katniss said.

'Is Cato still with you?' Jackie's voice echoed through the speaker.

'Nope.' I answered. 'Seriously I could kill him.'

After a while I hung up.

...

I walked through the last part of the street, and then around the corner. I saw Jackie, Annie and Katniss standing on one side of the road. My right arm got totally red, and I knew that it might be worse tomorrow.

When I finally got to them, the girls all hugged me. I wanted to look confident, like I had beaten him in a fight or something. But instead of that I was crying.

'Oh my god are you okay?' Jackie asked when she saw my arm.

'Did he do that?' Katniss frowned. I just nodded, I didn't wanted to talk that much because of my voice which still would sound weird.

'Oh god, can I kick his ass?' Katniss sounded pretty excited about fighting him, but I already knew that it was no use. Plus I didn't want her getting hurt because of that I told her to.

'Clove forget about him. I don't know what happened, but you need to forget it.' Annie told me while she handed me another drink.

'Thanks.' I mumbled, and sat down on the edge of the step, facing Cashmere's house. Both my feet still with heels on them, lay down on the road, with the heels facing away from each other. I quickly drank the drink Annie gave me, not knowing what was in it, but it tasted alcoholic, that was for sure.

'Want more?' They asked when I almost finished it.

'If I don't drink more, I'll never forget it.' I sighed.

'We'll get you some, Annie you'll stay here, okay?' Jackie pulled Katniss up, and walked away before she was even able to answer.

I looked down at the roughly concrete road. Annie grabbed my arm and looked at it.

'Hmm,' She sighed, 'That doesn't really look good, does it?'

'You should be a doctor.' I put on a fake smile.

'What the fuck did he do?'

'I'll tell you another time, okay?'

'Okay.' She answered.

We sat there for a while, awkwardly staring at the grey road. All the cars who drove by where honking at us, because we were half sitting on the road, but we didn't budge even an inch for them. After a while I heard some footsteps on the road, I looked around to see who it was.

I almost couldn't breathe anymore when I recognized Cato, but still I didn't got up or ran away. Running away was too lame, plus I was on heels so I'd totally fall down.

'Annie,' I said, and looked over him who still was walking in my direction.

'Do I have to uh, stop him?' She asked.

'Go ahead.' I answered.

'Mission Accepted.' She squinted, got up and walked towards Cato.

She stopped right in front of him. 'Stop.' She said, 'You aren't going near her.'

Though Cato just walked past her, and she took a few steps back and tried to push him away. I could count the seconds wherein I would go back to hell as Cato came closer. Annie still tried to stop him, but he pushed her away into a hedge. Maybe he was still in a rage of anger, I didn't know, but it seemed like it.

Annie lay down in that same hedge till the time that Cato kneeled down next to me. I still stared at the ground, avoiding any contact. 'GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER.' Annie squealed from the hedge.

'Hey,' He said on a way softer voice than before. 'Are you okay?'

'Do I look okay?' I rolled my eyes. He didn't answer on that question, probably because of there was no answer. All this time I tried to defend him, in classes, everywhere. And now I was actually sick of doing that, he's ruining my feelings anyways. Cato grabbed my right arm again, which I immediately tried to pull back because it hurt, but he lay it down on his knee. He was touching it gently and examining the bruises on it. It was pretty weird that he was nice now, while he was the one who made my arm like this.

'I'm sorry.' He said. 'I didn't know what I was doing, just a side effect of what a drug can do.'

I didn't answer, just kept staring at the street. A few little raindrops fell onto the rough ground, and when they reached it they jumped up a little. It was probably going to rain, not that I really care about that. After a while I realised that they were no raindrops falling from the sky, but just teardrops from my eyes. I bite my lip, and tasted the saltiness. Cato put his arm around me when he sat down next to me. 'Don't touch me.' I mumbled.

...

'Hey.' I heard some voices say. 'What the fuck is this-' Probably Jackie and Katniss. They ran towards us.

'Cato what the fuck?!' Jackie yelled at him. I wanted to be mad too, I wanted to fight just to beat him, but for some reason I couldn't stay mad at him. And I hate myself for that.

Cato got up to face them, but ''them'' was actually only Jackie, who was yelling at him what was probably not that smart.

'Did you just fucking dare to touch her?' Jackie frowned.

'Does that includes kissing?' Cato responded. Oh for fucks sake, why did he had to tell them that?

Jackie slapped him in the face when I turned around to see what happened.

'Clove,' Katniss asked me. 'What do we not know?'

I was almost begging myself to not blush now, because that would betray everything.

'I'm not even going to react on this bullshit.' I spat, and moved up. I had to push myself up with both my arms, which made me wince in pain, and I sat down again.

'I don't know what you did, but you hurt her.' Jackie said. 'And trust me, we'll get sweet revenge.'

He stood in front of me, and grabbed my left (good) arm. Jackie opened her mouth to say something, but when he just pulled me up, she closed it again.

'Okay,' Cato said to Jackie. 'What are you going to do?'

'Ugh, I don't know. But don't underestimate us, we can be bitches too.'

There was still hate hanging around us all, but not that 'we're going to fight' kind of hate. More that form of 'I'm going to hurt you with words.' hate.

I wiped the tears from my face and crossed my arms, what still hurt a bit. I glanced over Cato while he and Jackie were talking about how she would take revenge on him or something, but when I saw that he was already looking at me, I quickly looked away, blushing.

Maybe I wasn't mad, just very disappointed. The sudden disappointment of hope, always leaves a scar which the complete fulfilment of that hope never entirely removes. Scars and wounds would need time to heal, so I just had to wait for a while.

* * *

**Oh for fucks sake i'm sorry for ruining Clato in this part, but trust me it gets better.**

**Shall she forgive him, or nahhh? :P**

**Comment your ideas/opinion. REVIEW = MORE**


	12. Game over?

'Seriously, what is between you and that boy?' Jackie asked me while she watched Cato walk away back to Cashmere's house, where they used to have a party.

I just shrugged. 'I don't know.' Because I really didn't know. First he was like he had feelings for me, then I was just a challenge to him, and I used to fucking hate him for this, but I can't!

'Let's go back.' Katniss suggested.

'Can someone bring me home?' I quietly asked, hoping that I wouldn't ruin the party like this. 'I'm really tired of what just happened.'

'Oh yeah, I get it.' Katniss said. 'I'll bring you.' Me and Katniss walked towards a car, which had to be hers.

When we finally got into the car, and she started driving on the road, I reminded myself that I should tell her about the thing with Peeta. Not that this really was a great moment to, but I had to tell her tonight, right?

'Kat?' I started.

'Yeah?'

'Well uh, who is that Gale person?' I asked her.

'Just a friend.' Katniss answered. Though we both know that he was more than that, you don't kiss 'just friends' do you?

'Did you.. kissed him?'

'No! Clove what the fuck.' She laughed.

'It was posted on Instagram.' I sighed.

'NO WAY.' She squealed. 'Show me.'

I grabbed my phone and tapped a few times to get the photo, but it was deleted. 'I swear to god it was here!'

'Maybe not?' Katniss shrugged.

'Peeta saw it too.' I told her.

'No fucking way, really?'

'He texted me, and he was crying.' I answered. 'That's why he didn't show up on your party.'

'Oh god I feel bad now.' She went with one hand through her hair, the other hand still on the steering wheel.

'Sorry, but I just had to let you know that he knew about it.' I told her when she stopped the car in front of my house. I opened the car door and stepped outside. I just waved when she drove away, without saying anything.

I just was alone for a second of two, and the tears jumped in my eyes again. But there were lights on in the house, so not everyone was sleeping yet. I had to keep the tears away till I got inside my room. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

My dad and Shane, who still were up, greeted me and asked how the party was.

I mumbled something inaudible, sharpened my throat and answered again. 'Great.'

...

I turned my back to them, and headed upstairs towards my room. I slightly opened the door, and closed it immediately after I got in. I locked the door and moved my back against the door, slowly sliding down to the ground. Then I just sat there sobbing in silence for minutes, it was pretty hard to make not a single noise. I was catching teardrops in my hands, which still were a shade of black because of the previous crying moment. It actually surprised me that the drops actually used to be see-trough, salty water, but mine were still black. How could there still be mascara on my eyelashes?

Every time that one teardrop reached my right underarm, it felt like it was a biting substance. Like you poured water over glowing coals, but after that it felt a little better. It released me from the pain, even though it didn't hurt that much, it was more the thought that was killing me. That was why I was crying, to wash my eyes to see everything in a whole new clean perspective. I didn't get why I couldn't get a brainwash or something like that. Just to forget about everything bad what ever happened in my life.

But I guessed that I just have to deal with these weird salty, half black, burning substance what was coming out of my eyes.

I still didn't get why, and how Cato could do this to me. The weird thing was that I wasn't even that mad about what happened with my arm, but more about the fact that he saw me as _just a challenge._

Just another pawn in his game of love. And exact this reason made me afraid of love, I just won't play these games anymore. When you just make one wrong decision then it was checkmate, I was never made to play like this.

I was getting dizzy of the lack of oxygen, so I tried to breathe normal again and not so shakily as I was doing now. I slowly got up, finding support at the doorknob. I moved my arms above my head, to give my lungs all the space they would need.

Just at that moment my phone vibrated, I grabbed it to see who it was from.

When I saw it I looked down immediately, and another blackish teardrop fell on my screen.

_[Cato] 23:40 : Clove? I'm really sorry.._

_**23:43 : Fuck off.**_

_[Cato] 23:43 : Are you okay?_

_**23:44 : Hold on, I cnt read.**_

I rubbed the tears out of my eyes, leaving everything blurry in front of my eyes. But that disappeared after a while.

_**23:46 : No I'm not okay. How can you even ask that? **_

_[Cato] 23:47 : Crying?_

_**23:48 : Maybe.**_

_[Cato] 23:48 : Can I come over?_

_**23:50 : I just want to write 'I love you' on a rock and throw it in your face. Then you can finally see how much it hurts.**_

_[Cato] 23:51 : Wait, you do love me?_

_**23:52 : Don't ask me that much questions..**_

_[Cato] 23:52: Just answer it._

_**23:52: Okay, I did* **_

_[Cato] 23:53 : I seriously feel so stupid right now.._

_**23:53 : Great. **_

_[Cato] 23:54 : Well not really._

_**23:54 : Stop talking to me.**_

_[Cato] 23:55 : I swear I can explain everything. Nothing is what it looks like._

_[Cato] 23:55 : Tomorrow okay?_

_**23:56 : I'm done okay. Go chase another girls if you want to find fucking love, I'm not ever going to talk to you again.**_

_[Cato] 23:56 : Can I call you?_

_**23:57 : I don't want to talk to you. **_

_[Cato] 23:57 : You should._

My phone started ringing, an incoming call from Cato, of course. I didn't even pick up the call.

_[Cato] 23:59 : Clove, pick up._

_**23:59: Why don't you just leave me alone? I just don't want to get hurt another time, why don't you just fucking understand me?!**_

He called me again, but I didn't answer it.

_[Cato] 0:00 : Maybe because you don't take the time to explain it, and you don't give me the time either? _

_**0:00 : I'm not the one who need to explain things here.**_

_[Cato] 0:01: But I am, so just pick up the damn phone. _

My phone started ringing for the third time, and I picked up.

''Thanks god you picked up this time.'' I heard from the other side of the line, but there was a lot of background noise.

'Seriously Cato. You didn't even got the time to get away from the party?' I mumbled.

''Hold on.'' He said, and slowly the noise in the background faded away. ''Clove I didn't want to hurt you.''

'Then why did you?' My voice was still shaking a bit.

''Are you crying?''

'No.' I answered while I wiped my tears away. 'just tell me what you wanted to say. I don't want this conversation lasting really long.'

''Well, Marvel gave me something, I didn't know what it was so I just took it, but apparently it was some kind of drugs. And then you were on the door and knocked out Glimmer, well you know how it went in that alley.' He answered. 'But suddenly I just couldn't control myself any-''

'Great I'm talking to a drug addict.'

'I'm not addicted.'

'No of course you're not.' I rolled my eyes.

'Clove, now I'm honest to you, I want to ask you one fucking thing, okay. Do you love me?''

I sighed, 'Please don't make this so fucking hard for me okay. I'm just done-'

'Yeah me too.' He hung up.

...

I kept crying for some more minutes. It's like he wanted to make it so damn hard for me or something, but why? After a while I wiped my tears away and sat down on my bed.

I really didn't thought about the fact that I would be for three nights in a tent with him. Couldn't I just be sick for the weekend or something? I was going to act sick tomorrow, that is what I was going to do.

I didn't want to wash my mascara off, because I didn't think that there was any mascara left on my eyelashes. I just dropped my dress on the floor, and got in my bed. My phone vibrated, so I grabbed it. I looked down when I saw that it was Cato's message.

_[Cato] 0:13 : If you want to keep believing your own things except from the truth, go ahead. I'm only telling you that only a fool breaks its own heart. Goodnight beautiful._

Maybe that was just what I was, a fool. Just a lovesick fool. I closed my eyes, replying everything what happened today in my head, and suddenly fell asleep.

...

The annoying ringing of my alarm clock woke me up, forcing my eyes to get open. My eyelids were still tired of all the weird, see through, salty water also known as tears. I could throw over every moment, so yeah I didn't felt really good. My sickness act could be working now. I just stayed in bed till my mother knocked on the door.

'Clove, are you up?' She asked me through the door.

'No.' I tried to sound as dramatically as possible. 'I'm sick.'

'You're not. It's just the hangover,' She opened up the door and looked at me. 'Get ready!'

So I just got ready, and went to school driven by Shane. Peeta and Katniss ignored each other the whole day, but everyone tried to comfort me after yesterday. Though my friends are the best. Cato and I didn't even talk to each other, I tried to avoid him the whole time, which actually did work. I didn't get any points, so I was pretty proud of myself in that case.

When I got home again I hopped down on the sofa, and watched some tv. Until my phone shook several times.

_[Jackie] 17:40 : I hope you feel a bit better. You should ignore that boy during the whole weekend, and if he annoys you just kick him out of the tent ;)_

_**17:41: Oh I will, thanks (:**_

_[Finnick] 17:39: Fuckfuckfuuuck Clove help me. _

_**17:41: What's wrong? **_

_[Finnick] 17:41: Annie is about to break up with me.._

_**17:41: WHAT?**_

_[Finnick] 17:41: I had the same reaction._

_[Finnick] 17:41: What do I have to do?!_

_**17:42: Just talk to her, face to face, not via social media. It ruins relationships.**_

_[Finnick] 17:42: Thank you!_

_[Cato] 17:42: Cloverrr. I just wanted to say sorry again. And I know that sorry is just a fucking annoying word if it's overused, it's just a shout in the void and doesn't have any effect. But I want you to know that I never apologize for being me, I apologize for not being me, because that was where we went wrong. _

_Actually I think that you were right, love is a game. But when we played it, I went wrong. That doesn't mean that I lost or that you won, we both lost it. It's a multiplayer game, and we lost. Now the question is, do you want to play again? You must accept that we can fail again; then, if we do our best and still don't win, at least we can be satisfied that we tried._

_We might have lost a life, but that doesn't mean it's game over yet._

* * *

**It was well, a pretty weird chapter, but i hope you liked it. **

**Cato's message though **

**What do you guys think; Game over, or another chance (:**

**REVIEW = MORE**


	13. Second Chance

_**17:49: I might play again if you can handle your controller this time. I don't want to fail again. **_

_[Cato] 17:46 : Wow love is really like a video game.._

_**17:49: Don't push me off a building this time. Only one life left, you know.**_

_[Cato] 17:48 : We'll either play it easy, or the hard mode. ;)_

_**17:49: Why not in between?**_

_[Cato] 17:49: The normal mode sucks. _

_**17:50: I seriously feel like playing games now.**_

_[Cato] 17:51: Don't use cheat codes._

_**17:51: We're weird.**_

_[Cato] 17:52: That's why we don't use the normal mode. _

_**17:52: Exactly. **_

_**17:53: I still hate you.**_

_[Cato] 17:54: For?_

_**17:54: You took one of my life's by killing me.**_

_[Cato] 17:55: Your heart was getting empty anyways, and you had to fall to get up again with another life. _

_**17:55: Life isn't a fairy tale, it's a game. **_

_[Cato] 17:56: You can choose to die by a game over, or by winning the game. _

_**17:56: See, you don't have to crash a car to teach me a life lesson.**_

_[Cato] 17:57: Why does it feels like we already know each other longer than just a couple of days?_

_**17:57: Because we are able to have fucking weird conversations, bye.**_

_[Cato] 17:58: my house at 7 pm. _

_**17:59: What?**_

_[Cato] 17:59: 'Art of Survival' _

_**18:00: That sounds like a game. [Location; Unknown Woods.] **_

_[Cato] 18:00: Lets play it . :D_

I reread our weird conversation, and thought about yesterday. It was almost like it were two whole different human beings, but I liked this one more.

I ran upstairs and decided to get ready for the weekend, I put on my clothes for the normal days, a t-shirt and a black legging, and put a sweater and sweatpants over them, if it would get cold in the tent. Knowing that I had to wear a jacket over this almost made me melt, it was so hot in double clothes, but it was the only way to not freeze to death there. I seriously felt like an Eskimo.

If I would need a few things with me, what should I bring? Lifesaving things were what I would need there. I went to the bathroom and grabbed the tiniest hairbrush we had, and put it in the pocket of my sweatpants. Well, that wasn't that lifesaving, but I would need it. Matches! I'd need matches, and a bottle of water. Without water you can't live, but a bottle was too big to carry with me in my clothes, fuck. My eye caught Cato's pocket knife on my desk, oh well I could use that too. I grabbed it and put everything in my pocket.

Then I ran down the stairs, and walked towards the kitchen. 'Matches, matches, matches.' I mumbled when I searched them in every single kitchen drawer and cabinet. I finally found a little box, and opened it. It was empty, so I threw it away again. Well a lighter would give the same effect, so I grabbed a lighter out of the drawer and put it in my bra, because I didn't had any empty pockets left.

I headed towards my room again, to put on a layer of waterproof mascara and a bit foundation because maybe I wanted to be more than just a challenge. When I was finally done putting on my makeup, I walked towards the bathroom and brushed my hair and teeth, while i still could do that. After that I looked in the mirror for a few seconds, then walked downstairs again.

All the things I just did apparently took more time than I thought, because I didn't have any time to eat now, but I could deal with that. I put on a pair of comfortable, yet good looking sneakers. I said my parents goodbye and headed out of the door. You just wouldn't go on heels towards a forest right?

...

Google Maps said that it wouldn't be a really long walk to Cato's house, so I was okay with walking. Though after a while it became really warm inside all these layers of clothes, especially when I wore a jacket, but I just kept walking the route Google made for me.

After a small quarter of walking, I finally reached my destination.

I didn't want to walk all the way around again, so I just went through the backyard. I stood in front of the port, trying to breathe normal.

For some reason I was fucking nervous to see him again, what if it all was just an conversation with messages? Messages could tell everything what they would make you believe, but you can't see through someone's screen if they're lying. I needed an opinion, so I texted Jackie the screenshots of our conversation.

_**18:56: *send two pictures* Is this real or not real?**_

_[Jackie] 18:57: Clove, are seriously falling for his lies again?_

_**18:57: I don't know..**_

_[Jackie] 18:58: I'd say not real, he's literally playing a game with you._

_[Jackie] 18:58: Wake up out of your dreams, seriously. _

_**18:58: I am awake, just fucking nervous okay. **_

_[Jackie] 18:59: First you were just a challenge, and now you're talking about games. Don't you see it?!_

_**18:59: I'll swear I'll find this out. **_

_[Jackie] 19:00: If he's lying, I'll help you burying his body. :P_

_**19:00: Thanks! Haha.**_

It was 7 pm now, so I had to go inside. My hands were shaking when I pushed the door towards the backyard open, and closed it behind me.

I turned around, and faced the dog, which was walking around in the backyard. Oh no, why had it to be the dog? That thing was pure evil, and these teeth of it, I wondered how long it would take if that thing would eat me, I was already sure that it could be very painful.

I almost began to doubt why I even came here, this place reminded me too much of our ''first kiss'', which actually didn't mean anything.

I shook off the thoughts, and tried to figure out a way to get to the door, without meeting the dog. I slowly shuffled to the right, and saw that that bloodthirsty thing watched every single move I made. When I moved my arm to the left, his head slightly followed it, so I quickly put it down again. I took a deep breath, and slowly walked past the dog. My heart skipped a beat and I froze when the dog started to bark at me. I couldn't find the fucking courage to walk any further.

I heard someone opening the door, and calling the dog. I looked up and saw it's Cato. I didn't know how I had to feel right now, he did hurt me but I wasn't mad. I just couldn't be mad at him, I didn't know why. There was a pressing feeling in my chest, like it wanted to minimize my guts so that my heart wouldn't be hurt again.

The dog disappeared the grass, and hopped inside the house. 'You coming?' Cato frowned, and still kept the door open for me.

I just nodded, and walked through the door. He closed it behind me and walked back to the table, were his parents and brother were eating dinner.

I leaned on the counter in the kitchen, tapping nervously with my fingernail on the marble. My eyes looked over the whole room, I didn't really recognize something even though I had been here before. That night with the football was just weird, and I didn't even want to remember something about it.

'Nice to see you again, Clove.' Remus, Cato's father said.

Cato's brother, who was something like two years older than him, looked at me. He dropped his fork on the plate. 'Another girl?' He frowned. 'Again?'

'Shut your mouth.' Cato yelled from somewhere in a closet, searching the car keys.

That was what I was afraid of, just being another girl. Just another pawn in the game of love, knowing that I wouldn't win. Love was giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to. The only thing now was that I wasn't that sure if I had to trust Cato right now.

'Clove, don't listen to him.' His voice yelled out of the closet.

I just crossed my arms, not looking that unconfident .

'Well, Clove,' his brother said. 'I like your name more than Glimmer's. Seriously what kind of name is that.'

I just laughed, and waited till Cato was ready so I could escape from this awkward moment.

...

After a while he returned with the car keys back to the kitchen, where I still was standing and wrapped his arm around me. I didn't slap it off myself this time. 'Well, bye.' He said nonchalantly to his parents and brother, as we walked out of the door.

The coldness outside didn't have any effect on me anymore, because of the double layer clothes. Only the problem of this was that if I would get used to the warmth, that I would still be freezing in the tent.

'I seriously feel like an Eskimo right now.' I mumbled when we walked towards the car.

'Why?' He grinned.

'Double layer of clothes, I don't want to freeze in that tent you know.' I answered.

'You wouldn't need that, you've got me to warm you up right?'

Cato held open the car door for me, and I got on the seat which was pretty familiar now. I closed the door when he stepped in at the other side of the car, and sat down on the driver's seat.

He drove backwards away from the parking place in front of his house, and then forward over the road, probably driving towards the school. Everyone would meet with their cars/scooters in front of the school, the ones on scooters would probably get a cold if they had to drive for like 2/3 hours. Because of that no one knew where the Unknown Woods were, we had to drive after a car with teachers in it, and just had to follow them.

'Though I'm happy I could drive with you.' I said. 'If I didn't I probably had to drive on a scooter right now.'

'If you didn't got in, and were driving on a scooter now, I'd pull you in the fucking car.'

I put on the heating in the car, to warm it a bit up here. We almost had to drive three hours, so we could use a bit of comfort.

Cato put on the radio of the car, and I immediately recognized the song it was playing. The Scientist by Coldplay, and it actually made me think of Cato and me.

_''Nobody said it was easy. It's such a shame for us to part. No one ever said it would be this hard. I'm going back to the start.''_

That sentence made us both look at each other, like the song was made for us. Maybe it all wasn't that easy for the both of us, and it was actually a mistake to part. And now we were going back to the start, just to start over again. To act like nothing bad ever happened.

After a while we arrived at the school building, a lot of cars stood in front of it. Almost no one got out of their car, but just waited in the row with their cars. So did we. After that I put out my jacket, because it was way too warm, Katniss texted me.

_[Katniss] 19:15: I just read your & Cato's messages, and tbh I don't think you should trust him. It was too easy for you to believe him, because he said exactly what you wanted to hear. But it can be that he just said something, and that just turned out good. Sometimes the ones you trust aren't the ones trustworthy, just better actors._

_**19:16: I'm so fucking confused. ._.**_

_[Katniss] 19:16: We don't want to tell you what to do, but we just don't want that you'd be heartbroken again. You deserve someone who is not lying to you._

_**19:17: Thanks, I'll be careful. **_

Maybe Katniss was right. Maybe I made a mistake to give him a second chance, it's like giving someone else an extra bullet for their gunafter they missed you the first time. It's one of the hardest decisions to decide to walk away or try even harder, and I choose for the second option. I may be free to make my choices, but I can never choose the consequences. And I was pretty afraid that he'd ruin everything, again.

The first cars in the row started to drive on the road, and we followed them like a flock of tame sheep, following them, not knowing where we'd go.

Cato caught me looking at him, I was still doubting about the trust thing, but I didn't think that he did the same.

'Do you want to drive?' He asked me.

'Are you crazy? I'd crash again.' I shook my head.

'Come on, I'll help you.' He patted on his lap.

'Uh, okay.' I hesitated a bit, but after a while I was the one with my hands on the driving wheel. Then I was sure that I was the only one with trust issues.

* * *

**Another chance, yay xd. **

**Actually i think that they're like adorable together. **

**No worries, Glato is going down someday. CLATO TAKING OVER, Muhahaha. **

**Did you guys think that Clove made the right decision? **

**As usual, REVIEW = NEXT CHAPTER.**


	14. The Unknown Woods

Cato lay his hands on mine, helping me with the driving. Probably to not crash again, but okay. My heart was actually beating really, really fast and I got a bit stressed from all the people on the road. How could people handle this stress, seriously.

I pressed the honk a few times.

'What are you doing?' Cato grinned.

'They annoy me.' I stared at the cars in front of me. 'Go off my road!' I yelled to them.

Cato laughed even more.

'These fuckers, seriously why don't they shut up.' I muttered and strengthened my grip on the steering wheel.

'How can you be even more cute when you're angry.'

'I am not angry.' I stared still in front of me. 'I am a fucking good person, okay.'

'Good persons get angry too.'

'Holy shit what do I have to do?' I got a little nervous when we drove on a highway.

'Stay on the right side, and keep your hands steady.' He answered.

So I tried to keep myself calm, because I was still shaking a bit.

...

'You didn't know how happy I was when you said that you wanted to ''play'' again.'

'I think I made the right choice.' I said, still doubting a little bit. I rotated the steering wheel, making the car go the left.

'You _think _that you made the right choice?'

'Uh, yeah..' Why did he repeat that?

'You did make the right decision,' he said. 'Stop doubting, please.'

'How do I know that you're not going to screw up everything again? How do I know that you're not lying to me?' My mood changed a bit.

'Why would I lie to you?' He grinned.

'To break me again, duh.' I rolled my eyes. 'Sometimes I think that you're just playing a game with me.'

'That's right.' He said.

'WHAT?!' My eyes widened.

'But we play the game together, or not at all, right?' Cato answered. 'You knew that.'

'Okay, good.' I sighed.

'You really don't trust me, do you?' He said while he kissed me on my cheek.

'Not really.' I tried to be honest, in the hope that he wouldn't lie either.

'My lovely four leaved clover, I promise on my death that I won't ever screw anything up again. The day I'd say goodbye to you, would be the day I would die.'

Okay that was fucking sweet for him to say, of course it wasn't real, but at least he tried. Though if everything he said was real, this would be definitely the definition of a perfect boyfriend. Too sad that perfections and infinities don't exist, still, this is just a cruel world and not a fairy tale.

...

After a while we arrived at a place, with big walls around it with an electric fence on top. The gates opened, and we drove at a footpace in between of the walls. Inside of it, there was a big, really big forest which was pretty creepy now because of the darkness. Next to the parking places there were a lot of tents, and sleeping bags laying on a pile. We parked the car on a parking place, which actually used to be grass, but was just a bare plain now, with mud on it.

I got out of the same door as Cato, because I was still sitting on his seat.

He closed, and locked the door till Glimmer walked over him. She hugged him immediately, I rolled my eyes, pretending that I didn't care, but I did. I leaned with my elbows on the top of the car, looking at them, kissing. Not just a quick one, but it was like she was trying to torture me or something. And it hurt, like a piece of glass which tries to reach your heart, to kill you. But I didn't show anything on the outside.

I almost had no words for how much I hated Glimmer. She was wearing really tight clothes, which showed literally everything. I'd wish her luck with being in these clothes for like three days, ha, the perfect definition of a dumb human being.

I was just awkwardly waiting till they were done kissing, but it could last longer time than I thought, so I went towards Annie.

'Good luck with surviving that thing.' I looked at Glimmer.

'Thanks, you too.' She grinned when she looked at them too. I just smiled, I didn't need any luck. I was happy with my partner.

'Okay, everyone come here!' A cracking voice out of a megaphone yelled over the terrain. 'Everyone grabs with their partner a tent, two sleeping bags, there is a pillow inside, and a backpack. After that you all split up, and walk into the woods. Do **not** go with another duo.'

Thanks god that Cato and Glimmer were not standing with each other. He stood next to me, and Glimmer with her annoying friends.

Everyone, including us, walked towards the pile, and grabbed the stuff we would need.

I put the backpack on, and grabbed a sleeping bag. Cato got the tent and the other sleeping bag.

We walked to the right side of the pile, towards the place where the dark forest began. I swallowed, and then I walked inside of it.

...

We walked for like 15 minutes, and I didn't say a word to him. But when I stepped over a fallen branch, he began to talk to me.

'Clove, just tell me what's wrong.' He said.

I just stared in front of me, looking down a bit, so I wouldn't fall over a branch or something. 'Why did you have to kiss her, in front of me?' I asked him.

But no answer was coming. He just kept walking, and so did I.

'Aren't we far enough?' He asked me after a few minutes.

Maybe we were, we walked all the way, and pretty long. 'No. I want to go further.'

I felt like we had to go further into the forest. I didn't know where it was going to lead me, and it didn't felt good at all. But a feeling inside of me almost made it necessary to continue walking over the cracking leaves.

Cato grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop walking. 'It wasn't the kiss.' He shook his head. 'What is really wrong?'

'Dude, I don't know anymore okay. I fell in love with you, I don't know where, and not how, but I just did. But you almost seem to enjoy watching me burn inside.' I answered.

He pulled me into a hug, me wrapping my arms around him too. I rested my head against his chest, following his heartbeat.

'Please answer the truth. Was this all a challenge or not?' I asked quietly

'From that evening?' He asked me.

I nodded.

'I would like to keep you from hurt by telling a lie, but since you wanted the truth, I have to say yes.'

I stepped back from the hug, and walked away from him. I headed further in the forest, yes I was scared, no I didn't let me stop by some stupid fear.

Cato followed me, trying to stop me again, but I kept walking. I knew that this point was where we went wrong last night.

'But,' He said. 'I was like 'okay no problem' when they told me to do that.'

I slapped him with the sleeping bag. 'You son of a bitch.' I said with tears in my eyes, even though I didn't want to cry again. All I wanted was someone who would just love me, no matter what. What did I do to deserve this pain? I walked away even harder.

'Clove, let me finish.' He told me.

I stopped walking, still avoiding eye contact. He walked towards me, grabbing my hand this time.

'I thought it was no problem, because I already liked you okay. So I thought, I'll fix this, quickly so we'd save time. And then I screwed things up, you know how it went.' He said.

'How do you mean, save time?' I spat.

'I don't know. Time scares me.'

'Someday I'll throw a clock to your head.' I grinned.

...

I grabbed the tent out of his hands, and opened the bag. We both didn't talk for a while, just set up the tent. After half an hour, with making many mistakes which confused us both, we finally made it to set up the whole thing. It was an pretty open place in the forest, where we would stay for the rest of this weekend.

I crawl into the tent, bringing my sleeping bag with me. I rolled my eyes when I saw how small the cabin really was inside the tent.

'Stay there.' I told Cato, which was still outside the tent.

Quickly I put out my clothes, bumping my head several times to the sticks inside the tent, which were keeping it standing. I put on my sweater and sweatpants to sleep in, it was still fucking cold in here.

'You're done?' Cato suddenly asked me.

'Yup.' I answered, kicking my normal shirt and legging aside.

He zipped the tent open and moved in here too. 'Jeez this area is small.' He frowned when he saw the cabin I sat in, struggling with my sleeping bag.

'I know that it's dark, but look out for all these sticks.' I said. 'My head is starting to hurt by these things.'

He just smiled at me while I rubbed my head after I bumped into one of the sticks again.

I finally got my sleeping bag rolled out, and looked disappointed at the pillow.

'Is this a pillow?' I swear it was so fucking small, and wouldn't lay your head comfortable or something. Though I lay it down on the place in the tent where my head should lay. I tried to get in my sleeping bag, what after a lot of rolling finally worked.

I hardly could see in the dark, but I caught Cato looking at me, he didn't look away when he saw that I was looking back.

'Yeah,' I said. 'I know I'm not the best partner if we have to survive in a tent okay. I can't even get in a sleeping bag.'

'I couldn't wish for a better one.' He responded, making me smile a little.

I rolled myself up like a burrito and lay my head down on the stupid little pillow. Then I heard raindrops splashing on top of the tent, which actually made a pretty nice sound. It was like a sound which you could use to concentrate better when studying, but now it was like, real. It started raining harder, and I stared at the canvas of the tent above me. It was cold, but not like you would freeze.

A few minutes later, after that Cato had found himself laying too, I slowly shuffled myself, and my pillow aside till I bumped into his body.

I didn't say a word, sometimes silence speaks enough. He lifted his arm, so I could move a little closer, and I took advantage of that. I lay my head on his shoulder, and felt his arm holding me there. Actually this was laying way more comfortable than how I just laid on my side of the tent. We didn't have any matrasses, so I was sure that all my bones would hurt tomorrow.

We just lay there for an half hour, listening to the rain splashing on the tent and the owls making their noises.

'Goodnight,' I said.

'Goodnight.' He repeated.

'Goodbye.' I mumbled.

'Bye.' He didn't repeat me this time.

'Why didn't you repeat that? Are you trying to wish me a bad bye?' I looked at him.

'No,' he said. 'I just keep my promises from now on. The day I'll say goodbye to you, is going to be the day I'd die.'

I closed my eyes, still rolled up against him with his arm around me.

Slowly the background noises faded away, and I fell asleep, knowing that maybe this time, everything would be okay.

* * *

**It's monday, and everybody hates mondays.**

**So this chapter was a bit cuter :3.**

**Now its time for y'all to review to make my monday okay. **

**Did you notice that my chapters are similar to the days of April? (14-4-'14) = Chapter 14.**

**Coincidence? I think not.**

**REVIEW=MORE**


	15. Outside the limits

**First of all, i'd like to thank you all for all your support and reviews you guys left for me.**

**I think I said this before, but i'm really happy as i read your reviews.**

**Whenever you've got a question about the story, or about whatever you want to ask, i'll always answer them. Don't be shy to ask :P**

**Have fun readinggg.**

* * *

When I opened my eyes, I was still in the same position as I fell asleep. And I was right, all my bones hurt like hell, especially my hipbone.

I looked at Cato, and saw that he was awake too. 'I think my bones are broken.' I groaned.

'Good morning to you too.' He looked back at me.

'What time is it?' I asked him, still sounding sleepy.

'9 am.' He answered.

'Are you awake for a long time?'

'Nah, not really. Not that it would matter, it's like a privilege to watch you sleep.'

'Too bad that I'm awake now.' I rubbed my eyes.

I rolled away from him, leaving myself on the cold side of the tent again, immediately there was a shiver running through myself. There was pain all over my body too.

'Argh, that hurts.' I groaned again, while stretching my body. I searched my little hairbrush I brought with me.

Cato moved out of the tent, looking outside. 'Everything is wet.' He said when he touched the grass, and got back in the tent again.

I finally found my brush, and brushed my hair slowly. 'Do you have a mirror or something?' I asked him.

'Nope, but you look beautiful.'

I shuffled towards him and put my arms around him. 'I'm so sorry for distrusting you.'

'Clove, you're not the one who should apologize.'

It was just all too good to be true, and that was why I was doubting now. Perfections and infinities didn't exist, so this couldn't be all true. There had to be something what wasn't right. There had to be a snag.

...

'Let's find food.' I sighed. 'I'm starving.' I pulled back from the hug, and put on my sneakers.

'Fine.' Cato said, and got out of the tent.

I crawled out of tent behind him, it was too low to stand without bumping your head, so we had to crawl. When I almost got out of the tent, I got up. My back hit the exit, and all the water which lay on top of the tent because of the rain tonight, trickled down in my sweater. 'Holy fuck that's cold.' I muttered. Cato just laughed at me, and we walked away from the tent.

'How are we going to find food?' I asked him. 'I'm not going to kill something.'

'I have no fucking idea.' He shrugged.

I walked a few steps over a fallen tree, holding my balance and jumped off the ending.

'We're just going to walk, maybe we find something.' I said nonchalantly, while I put my hands in the pocket of my sweater, finding the pocket knife inside of it. I didn't get it out of it, I wanted to keep it.

I grabbed my phone, and surprisingly this place had Wi-Fi. How the hell could there be a connection in a fucking forest? I clicked Instagram, and saw that everyone was posting selfies in their tents or in trees. 'Whoa,' I frowned, and showed Cato the screen which showed a picture of Glimmer and Annie, both on one picture.

He laughed, 'Probably Glimmer forced her to make a picture with her.'

'We should take pictures too.' I said.

'Wow wait,' Cato grabbed my arm and pulled me towards something.

It sounded like splashing water. After passing a lot of trees, I could finally see what it was.

There was a lot of green grass and moss, and a waterfall which's water splashed in a lake, from a hill. 'Oh my god,' I stared at it. 'This is fucking amazing.'

'I know right.' He said, crossing his arms. I stood on my toes and kissed him quickly.

We stood there staring at the waterfall for a while.

...

'Do you have a lighter?' He suddenly asked me.

'Sure.' I grabbed it out of my bra and handled it him.

He grabbed a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it with my lighter. A small cringle of smoke faded away in the air.

'You smoke?' I rolled my eyes.

He just nodded, and handled me the pack of cigarettes. 'Want one?'

'Uh, no. l-I don't prefer to kill myself with that smoke.' I shook my head.

'Okay.' He said and put the pack back in his pocket.

'Not drug addicted, you said?' I frowned while we sat down on a fallen tree.

'Everyone has their bad habits, right?' He shrugged.

'A cigarette is such a classy name for a roll with tobacco and I don't know whatever is in it, but it's not really healthy.' I said. 'It's a classy way of suicide.'

'Same thing with people with obese, that's not healthy either. But when you smoke, everyone is like 'stop it, that's bad for you.' While no one is telling an obese person that it's necessary to lose weight, right?'

'Yeah right.' I rested my head in my hands, while sustaining my elbows on my knees. 'Still, stop it.'

'Why?' He asked me. 'I don't see the point in quitting.'

'You said that you were afraid of time, well you're able to lose like years by doing this.'

'Oh, well that doesn't matter.'

'Uh, actually it does.'

But he just shrugged. 'Nah, you shouldn't look back, or look forward in the time, just live at the moment where you're in. And at this moment, I wouldn't mind living in here forever.' He pulled his arm around me.

'Now it's too bad that infinities don't exist, isn't it?' I nodded.

He sighed, 'Exactly.'

...

My phone vibrated, and I grabbed it out of my pocket.

_[Annie] 11:43: I might have a fun fact you'd like to share with Cato._

_[Annie] 11:43: Glimmer is cheating on him._

_**11:44: oh god, really?**_

_[Annie] 11:44: I just checked her phone, and there was a message from Price._

_**11:45: That is his real name? Omg :')**_

_[Annie] 11:45: First I thought it was a company or something, but eh, you guys don't even want to know what these messages were about.. _

_**11:46: I almost can guess it, but we both already know that she's a whore.**_

_[Annie] 11:46: Exactly. _

I couldn't hold back my laughing, what made Cato look at me immediately.

'What's so funny?' He frowned, and looked over my shoulder at the screen.

After he read our conversation, he buried his face in his hands, and actually I thought he could be crying, but he was just laughing really hard.

'I guess she changed her prices, she's probably getting real cheap.' He said, half laughing.

'We'll get revenge, don't we?' I chuckled.

'Tomato's sound good to me.'

'Tomato's?'

'A lot of tomato's.' He confirmed.

'Oh, she isn't going to get them washed out of her clothes, well that's too bad for her. Let's see who is acting now so 'expensive'' I smirked.

'To be honest, I can't wait till we can throw the tomato's in her face.'

'Me neither.'

We got up from the branch, and stood close to the lake. I kneeled down and lay my hand down in the water. It was cold, really cold! I spread my fingers a few times, and clenched them together as a fist to get used to the cold.

Suddenly Cato hugged me from behind, and I was pretty damn shocked so I froze every motion my body made.

'What's wrong, you don't want to swim?' He grinned.

'It's fucking cold.' I said.

'We'll jump together, okay?'

'What?! No, I uh, I don't think that is a very good idea.'

'Come on?'

'But I want a towel, I'd freeze when we get out.'

'There are towels in that backpack you got, we'll jump in this water tomorrow, okay?'

'Okay.' I answered, knowing that I'd probably freeze to death if I would jump into this lake.

He laughed, and shook his head when he pulled back out of the hug.

'But I'm still hungry.' I finally said, grabbing his arm to keep moving and search food somewhere.

...

We walked another quarter in the forest, till we got to one side of the big walls, which was separating the forest from something else.

'Wait,' Cato said and stepped a few steps back. He ran towards the wall, jumped up to grab the edge to pull himself up. After a bit of effort he crawled up the wall, which had to be pretty thick.

He looked on the other side, and then back to me. 'Are you coming or what?'

'W-What are we going to do?' I took a step back, not sure if this plan was that smart to do.

'Get over the wall and find your food, duh.' He rolled his eyes. 'Now are you coming?'

'Aren't we supposed to stay on the territory here?'

'Yeah, they limited our space.' He answered. 'And we don't do limits, right?'

He held out his hand for me, which probably still wasn't able to reach for me.

'I'm not sure..' I looked down a bit. 'Aren't we going to get punished for this, if they find out?'

'Probably.' He nodded. 'Are you coming with me, or I'll go myself?'

I knew that it would be wrong what I should do, but I should cross the limits. Actually I shouldn't, but he knew what he was doing, right?

My heart was beating like hell, but I walked slowly towards the wall. I jumped up and grabbed his hand, where after he pulled me up easily so I sat down on the edge of the wall. I got up, to see the other side. There was a city, with a lot of stores. It actually surprised me that inside the forest it still was quiet, when here was so much noise. Probably the walls were used as silencers too.

Cato stepped over the electric fence, which actually was a stretched string, hanging just beneath my hipbone. I glanced over the area, to make sure nobody was watching us or something, and then I got over the fence too. He already jumped from the wall on the ground, waiting me to jump too. Actually I was afraid that if I jumped, I wouldn't get back anymore. That we would get in trouble, or they'd even shoot us.

'Clove,' He said quietly, still loud enough for me to hear. 'I know you're doubting, but just jump off that thing okay.'

So I did, and landed on my feet, caving in a bit but I got up again. I was a bit fainting because of the calorie deficit, I hadn't eaten since yesterday afternoon. Still all my bones were hurting because of the hard ground at night, I would really appreciate a matrass actually.

'You okay?' Cato frowned after I was fainting a bit.

I used his arm to get up completely. 'I'm fine.' I answered.

'If there is something wrong, you can always tell me, you know that right?' I nodded, and walked beside him towards the streets of the city.

I glanced behind me, knowing that it would be a lot harder to climb up the wall from this side, people were everywhere. Not that it was a use to worry about this, there was no going back now, and we'd see later if we could go back or not. It was just a waste of time to worry about this, I just got to move on, the worrying itself wouldn't change a thing about it anyways.

...

'Aren't you afraid?' I asked him.

'Afraid of what?'

'Getting caught here, or that we can't go back or something..?'

'Being afraid of something I'd regret if I wouldn't do it, no, not really.' He answered. 'Are you?'

'Maybe.' I shrugged.

'You shouldn't, see; they want to make some kind of robots of us, who would do whatever they say, but we are human beings. So they try to control us, with their points and shit, and if you don't act like they want you to, they'll kill you.' Cato told me. 'I know that it's an human habit to have fears and things, but we can't ever let them tell us what to do. They could break everything you have, just to keep you in control of them. So don't ever let your fear limit you, that is exactly what they want.'

'Someone is getting a little rebel here.' I elbowed him.

'As long as I stand for something, and not like all these kids who call themselves rebels so they can smoke, I'm okay with keeping that label.'

'Ugh these annoying kids.' I rolled my eyes.

'Now, Clover, what do you want to eat?' He asked me.

'I don't know.' I shrugged as we continue walking through the small city.

'Oh, and don't tell anyone about what I just told you.' He said on a softer voice.

'Why not? Is that a limit or something?' I frowned.

'No, you just can't trust anyone. All these people are in the same act as the school, hiding the truth from us. I'll explain the rest later, not here.' He answered, still talking a bit more quiet as no one was going to hear what we're talking about.

...

We went into a grocery store, I grabbed a shopping basket.

After a while we went to the cashier with a few croissants, chocolate chip cookies (on my suggestion), ice tea and four energy cans. No, it all wasn't really healthy, but who'd care about that when you're hungry. When we were paying for the food, Cato added a pack of cigarettes. I just rolled my eyes, I couldn't discuss about how bad smoking was in front of a cashier.

'Can you show your identity card?' She said.

'Why?' Cato responded.

'We have to get a proof that you're human, and above 18.' The bright red haired woman told him.

'Well I thought that it was pretty clear that I was a human being, but if you want to check it, here you go.' He showed the card. 'See, I do exist on this planet.'

The woman just nodded and gave us our food in a plastic bag.

I grabbed it when we walked out of the grocery store.

'Was she really doubting if I was a human being?' He shrugged when we walked outside, on the street again.

I chuckled 'Maybe she just thought that you were an alien experiment, which wanted to create perfection.' I'd like to congratulate the aliens if they really did that, they did their job pretty well. I laughed at the idea of it.

We walked back to the wall, only now to a less crowded place to climb over the wall again. It probably would be pretty weird to see two teenagers with a plastic bag full of food, climbing over a wall with an electric fence into the forest, wouldn't it?

While I was still looking around myself, Cato already got on the wall. My eye caught him. 'How did you do that?' I raised my eyebrows.

'Well, there is a container right there.' He looked at a big grey container a few steps away from me.

'Oh..' I walked towards the container and threw the plastic bag on it so I could climb myself. I set my left foot on a handle and tried to pull myself up, ending up in a impossible position to climb, so I had to start over.

I started with my right foot this time, grabbed the sides of the container and finally was able to sit on the container.

From there I could easily get on the wall, and stepped over the fence again.

'Catch.' I said to Cato, who already stood on the ground on the other side of the wall.

I let the plastic bag fall, so he could catch it. I sat down to make the distance between me and the ground a little smaller, and let myself fall.

'Clove,' He said. 'We forgot the tomato's!'

* * *

**Noooo not the tomato's :c**

**I guess that it is time for a ruin-glato plan, don't you think? I'm actually feeling pure evil to totally ruin some people's shipping, but let's be honest, glato is a terrible OTP. **

**A lot of stuff is going to be clear in the next chapters, right now the story is more like a big mess lol.**

**Well, keep reading ! **

**REVIEW = MORE **


	16. Dear Agony

It sounded just like a couple in the married years, forgetting things at the grocery store. Maybe in a few years we'd be like that, which actually was a thought in which I could drown. Maybe I could get my life together, and after a lot of years be a mother with a happy family and a big house, and him.

I shook the thoughts out of my head, I've only known him for four days now and I was thinking about the future, and children. Things were definitely going way too fast, and the weird thing was, that I didn't care about that anymore. Actually I didn't give a fuck about time, it just passed by as fast or slow as it wanted to pass, but what did mattered, was what happened between that time.

'Can I have one?' I asked Cato.

'A tomato?' He replied.

I shook my head.

'A cookie?' He squinted.

'A cigarette.' I rolled my eyes, and held up my hand.

He gave me the pack of cigarettes, 'You sure?' he frowned.

'Of course.' I said while I got one cigarette out of the pack and held it between my fingers, then I gave the pack back. I got the lighter out of my bra and rolled my thumb over the roller till a flame showed up. I held the cigarette between my fingers in the fire till the end caught fire.

'How much can you change in just two hours?' He laughed quietly.

I just shrugged while I put the burning killing roll closer to my mouth. 'I'm a human being, I can change my mind.'

'But you said-'

'I know.' I interrupted him.

'Well okay, but you're not going to blame me later this day because you smoked.'

'Dear agony,' I said. 'Here you go.' I put the killing between my teeth and a few seconds later I ended up having a fit of coughing.

'It's a classy way of suicide.' Cato repeated my sentence earlier ago.

'Who doesn't want to die classy?' I said between my coughs.

'Suffocate carefully.' He said, patting me on my back.

'I will, Cato.' I said as I blew out a cringle of smoke. 'I will.'

My lungs were screaming for air, for oxygen, but I tried to not act like a fool and be like gasping for air. I tried to breathe normal.

He grabbed the cigarette out my hand, and put it his mouth. 'Don't do this,' He mumbled. 'The world needs you.'

'I'm not a superhero.' I chuckled. 'Like you aren't needed in this world?' I glanced at him, blowing out the smoke.

'Nah.' He simply replied, while tapping the ash off the ending from the cigarette.

...

We reached the magnificent place again, the light of the sun reflecting on the lake, showing up a little rainbow behind the waterfall.

I grabbed my phone to make a picture of it, and posted it on Instagram with the text '_If you want to see a rainbow, you have to look through the rain.' _Just another random quote, which actually didn't make sense at all, because the sun was shining and it wasn't raining at all.

I put my phone away, in my sweater pocket, and sat down next to Cato on the fallen tree where we sat before. I just wanted to eat the cookies, but my phone kept vibrating from the reactions.

_[Glimmer] 15:53: OMG where is that?_

_[Glimmer] 15:53: +Annie, WE GOTTA GO THERE._

_[Marvel] 15:54: Taste the rainbow – Skittles._

_[Jackie] 15:54: +Marvel, that isn't a quote, but a commercial. -.-_

_[Marvel] 15:55: Isn't that the same thing? +Jackie_

_[Jackie] 15:56: No._

_[Peeta] 15:57: Look +Katniss, a rainbow :')_

_[Katniss] 15:57: Yeah, I saw it. Haha._

_**16:01: +Glimmer, this is wonderland. **_

_[Cato] 16:01: And you said that fairy tales didn't exist._

_[Glimmer] 16:02: THEY DON'T?_

_[Glimmer] 16:02: Why the hell didn't anyone tell me that…_

_**16:02: They're the lies they make you believe as a kid. ;) +Glimmer**_

_[Cato] 16:03: This makes a whole lot of sense to me. +Glimmer_

_[Glimmer] 16:04: Stop being so mean. :'(_

_**16:04: Can I die laughing? **_

_[Cato] 16:04: Suffocate carefully. (; _

_[Glimmer] 16:05: I don't get you guys. Bye.. _

I high-fived Cato. Was Glimmer serious, didn't she know that fairy tales were lies?

'Now we've got the time,' I said. 'I want to know why you're afraid of 'time.''

'You don't.' He replied curtly.

'Tell me.' I took a bite of one of the chocolate-chip cookies.

'No.' He said, 'I swear it's better if you don't know.'

'Then I'm going to take this.' I said, grabbing the cookies and walked away from him, into the nothing. I knew that he was going to follow me, and he did.

I ran towards a tree, which was pretty easy to climb, holding the cookies against my stomach so they wouldn't fall out of the package.

A few minutes later I sat on a thick branch in the tree, resting both my legs on it too. I was sitting pretty much in balance, so I didn't need another branch to find support on.

Cato stood underneath the tree, and I heard the sound of a phone making a photo. Not a minute later my phone vibrated again, this time because I was tagged in a photo of Cato, of course he had to post that. I rolled my eyes.

_[Cato]16:12: She's stealing the cookies :(. _

_[Jackie] 16:14: HAHAHA. Well done +Clove._

'Clove,' I heard him saying. 'Come back here.'

'You're going to take my cookies.' I said.

'I won't.' He sat down with his back resting to the tree trunk.

I glanced down at him. 'Are you going to tell me if I come back?' I asked, crossing my arms.

'Fine, now come here.'

I held the package of cookies in my left hand while I hugged the tree, and set my feet on different branches and climbed down.

I stood in front of Cato. 'And?' I raised my eyebrows. 'Tell me.'

We wandered through the forest, not knowing how we came here, and not knowing how we could go back.

...

'Well,' He said. 'The reason that I'm afraid of time, is because I'm running out of it. Happy now?'

'Running out of it?' I asked. He didn't even look at me, and just nodded.

'Why? Are you busy or something?'

He slightly shook his head. 'Stop asking, will you?'

'Uh okay.' I shrugged, still not knowing why he didn't just tell me.

Fears are like limits, often an illusion, they said. And by the way, I really thought that he wasn't afraid for anything. He didn't have limits, so probably no fears too. But apparently I was wrong in thinking that. How could he run out of time? He was only 18, time enough right? Maybe he was very busy doing stuff I'd better not know, but at least he would tell me that.

Did he even trust me? He let me drive yesterday, knowing that I could crash us again, me behind a steering wheel was just life-threatening. Plus I could be a danger to the rest of the traffic, maybe I'd even drive into a building and they'd see me as a terrorist. It was something, letting me drive, but he did trust me then. And if he trusted me in a life threatening situation, he could trust me with just some words.

'Well, then at least tell me why I can't trust anyone, with telling anything what you said there in the city.' I quietly asked, not too loud because it would be really embarrassing for me if he didn't answer that either.

'As you know, or didn't know, they kill you if you speak a word about it, and even the hospital and police and shit all know their plan. And they have a conspiracy, so the school can't be dragged to court.' He said.

'So, they really _kill_ people?' I frowned, still not sure what I had to think about it all, I just didn't understand anything about that school.

He nodded. 'And then I don't mean the killing the way you'd speak 'My parents are going to kill me.' No, really dying.'

I still didn't get it, which made me feeling so stupid. This had to be a joke, the school just said these things to make us afraid. Of course they couldn't really murder children, they would never get to do that without the parents knowing about it. Why did I even doubted about this, of course they can't really kill twenty-three kids every year.

I didn't even get further in this conversation, and just kept walking. Thinking about how stupid I was to really believe that they killed kids.

'There is the tent!' I said happily when we finally found it. My legs were sore of all the walking today, so I was glad that we were back.

When we reached the tent, the water which was on it was already dried so we could walk inside it without getting the water in our shirts, like me this morning. I crawled inside the tent, still holding the cookies.

Hours were passing by without saying a word, it was silent the whole time. This is exactly what Panem High wanted us to be. Silent, emotionless and not a danger for their plans.

...

My eyes glanced from the screen of my phone, every minute a few times to Cato. I tried to be honest to myself, and admitted that I did love him. It was actually weird how things could change in just a few days, I used to hate this boy. In that fact time scared me too, it was just weird how it could ruin something in a few seconds, and took way more time to recover again. Actually it was more the actions between that time, instead of the time itself. It wasn't about the seconds you'd ruin something, it was about the fact that you were ruining something in these seconds. Though, if it was such an easy example, Cato would have told me.

I grabbed the plastic bag, which made actually some crackling noise which was the first sound I had made in hours. I used to be a silent person, especially back in district two, but since I came here things changed. A lot of things changed. A week ago I couldn't even imagine my future with someone, and now I could. It were positive changes, and I was glad I had them, but still I knew somewhere back in my mind that the faster you change, the faster everything can break down again.

I picked a cigarette out of the pack, held it between two fingers and grabbed the lighter. I couldn't even explain how much I wanted one, even though I used to think that they tasted disgusting, I needed one. It was my second ever, that shouldn't do that much harm right?

'Go outside,' Cato said.

'What?' I looked at him misunderstood.

'You and a lighter in this tent, you'd set this thing on fire.' He grinned.

I just rolled my eyes and crawled through the exit and stood on my socks on the grass, which still was a bit wet of the raining.

I lit the cigarette and held it in my mouth as I breathed it in. I never expected myself to do this, smoking, and I knew that I wasn't going to make it a habit. It was just once, well now twice, I wasn't addicted or something. I could stop whenever I wanted to, two cigarettes in a lifetime, that was nothing! I finished the whole thing without suffocating like last time, which actually made me proud of myself.

''Goodbye, agony.'' I told myself while I dropped the cigarette on the ground, and stepped on it to not let the whole forest burn down by a fucking accident of me. ''you don't scare me anymore.''

...

It began to dawn, but the sun was still shining at the – now turned half pink – sky, when Cato finally came out of the tent too.

'Are you ever going to tell me why you have a problem with time, or are you afraid that I'm going to scare you.' I chuckled.

'Are you sure that you want to know?' He looked at me, while we both sat down, resting our backs to one of the thousands of trees.

'Yeah, if I didn't want to know, I wouldn't ask it.'

'Okay, as I said, the reason I'm afraid of time is because I'm running out of it. You knew that I was second on the list, with 134 points? Well, that means that I'm dead in 89 days. And you might think that killing isn't actually murdering, but trust me, they are murderers!' He said, as nonchalant possible, but I could hear the pain in his voice.

I swallowed, and tried to hold back my feelings.

'Don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid of the death, nor the time of dying. Sorry for the spoiler, but everyone dies someday. I just don't want to lay somewhere in the ground, or wherever I am then, and regret so much. Usually people have way more time to fix all the things they'd ever regret, but I guess that I have only 89 days till my existence on the planet is well, as good as gone.'

* * *

**Noooo :(**

**Every day has 86400 seconds, Tick tock...**

**Review your reaction/comment or whatever you want to review lol.**

**Review = more...**


	17. No regrets

I almost started crying when I realized what he was saying. Finally I had found someone, who loved me back. All my thoughts about a happy family and once upon a time growing old with this perfect blond haired boy, they faded all away. No, faded away was a way too mild describing, it felt like my thoughts were taken out of my head, thrown from a fucking building, stabbed with knifes and to finish it kicked till they were gone, it was awful. This feeling could just torture me till death. The pain was just determining and dementing to ache.

It was true, what I said. Fairy tales didn't exist, this was a cruel world which was going to take him away from me, from everybody. It wasn't fair, it just wasn't fair. But when I accepted that there was nothing to do about it, I burst down in tears.

'Clove,' He said, still calm as fuck. 'It's okay, really. Everyone dies on their time, right?'

'It's not fucking okay, you're 18!' I said between my sobbing. 'They can't just take away your life.'

'Apparently they can.' He pulled me into a hug. 'See, I shouldn't have told you. Now you're crying.'

'For the love of Panem, they can't do this!' I muttered 'Plus, I'm wasting your time.'

'Well, I'd love to spend my time with you.' He smiled at me. 'Don't worry, time is meant to be spend. And if I don't spend it, I waste it.'

I hugged him tighter, like I never let go. 'I swear to god, what did you do to deserve this? I mean, the points.'

'I said things they didn't want me to say, nothing else.'

'And that's why they are going to kill you?'

'Yeah, kind of.' He shrugged.

'If you are going, I'm going with you.' I crossed my arms.

He laughed. 'You aren't going to die, Clove. You thought that I would let you go into a school at a time where teenagers become murderers?'

I wiped away my tears. 'You thought I like being left alone with all these idiots on this planet?'

'Still I'm sticking to my words, I will only say one goodbye to you, and that will be on the day I'd die.'

It hurt me like a grenade would, one little thing is taking over and everything is blown away. So I was right, and I wasn't at the same time; Panem High was really murdering teenagers. I almost forgot that Cato was the same boy that had that score of 134. It was almost like he was being split up into two parts.

It was pathetic for me, to cry over his upcoming death while he actually didn't gave a fuck about it.

'But hey,' He said. 'Maybe I can win.'

That was right, maybe he didn't die, then he didn't have to say goodbye. He could survive that whole thing. Panem High had given ''surviving high-school'' a whole new perspective.

'Yeah!' I smiled slightly, it was just a little spark of hope that he could make it out alive. The odds were only one out of twenty-four, but it was possible. 'Can't you just, like train for this day of murder?'

'Hell no.' He shook his head. 'I am not going to spend my last 89 days to train for the day in which I'd probably die.'

'But what if that makes the difference between life and death?' I looked up at him.

I could almost beg him to train for these things, if he could just make it out alive. 'Dude, you could live a fucking happy life after that.'

'But what if I die, even with that training there is still a big chance that I'm going to die. And I'd rather spend my time with you.'

Why with me? Did I seriously meant that much to him that he wanted to spend his last time on this fucking planet with him? I only knew him for four days now.

Cato grabbed my hand and pulled me through the forest, and if I recognized this way a little bit, I was sure that we would go to the lake. I just walked with him, till we reached the breath taking place. For some reason I liked this place way more than home. Actually home wasn't a home for me, it was just a house, without an further meaning. Even though we had to sleep without matrasses, in a cold tent and a fucking tiny pillow, it was better than at home. No worries, no cares, just each other and cookies (and soon a lot of tomato's).

...

The sun which was going under left a pink glow over the sky, which was reflecting in the lake and waterfall. At that moment, I started to doubt if these fairy tales didn't exist, but when you come back to reality the answer was already given. Maybe, this looked like wonderland, I had found my 'prince', only without a white fucking horse, it still didn't meant that I was going to get a happy ending. He was going to die, in less than 90 days, I don't know how, but he was going to fucking die. And then what? Me being left here with all those idiots? Finding new love? I couldn't even think about it.

'Clove,' Cato said. 'I know that love is a game, and you either play it on the easy modus, or the hard one, not the normal one. We aren't normal, that was for damn sure. And I think we should skip the easy one too, because it just isn't easy. It's hard, and even when the other dies, you have to move on and win the game.'

'You are not going to give me advice about what to do when you're gone, Cato.' I said. 'I don't even want to think about that.'

'I swear to god, I fucking regret all these things I've said in classes. If I just shut my mouth, at least we had the opportunity to have a future.' He shook his head.

'You shouldn't regret the things you've done, but the things you haven't done.' I told him. 'Because in the end, the only thing you regret are the chances you didn't take.' I told him.

'Yep true.' He nodded, cupped my face and kissed me. This time I didn't just stand there, we started off slow, and passionately, but both ended up half fighting for dominance, a tongue is still a muscle, so yeah. If only we had background music, it could be a part of a movie, but actually the music wasn't needed, the sound of splashing water was almost as perfect, it was just all natural. When we pulled back, I realised that this actually was the first real kiss we ever had, not awkward like the previous times. I looked - stared- in his eyes, I never noticed that they were a shade of like perfect blue. I was trying to get out of it, otherwise I just stared there for minutes, and that would be pretty embarrassing.

'Sorry,' He grinned. 'I just wanted to make sure that I wouldn't regret it.'

I just laughed a bit while we walked up the hill where the waterfall was flowing off. Beside the stream water, there was grass on which we were going to sit. I stretched my legs and just sat down, close to the waterfall watching the sunset. And I thought that my weekend wasn't going to be relaxed, well, I was wrong.

A very quick shot of a thought flashed through my head, ''what are the others doing right now?''. In the time, that they probably have searched for food here in the forest, and sat in their tents, we crossed the limits and went into the city, bought food and headed back. And now we were just watching the sunset from a hill with a waterfall, while the others didn't even know that there was a waterfall.

I wasn't going to share this on social media, the only persons I had to share this with was myself, and Cato.

...

It was getting cold, dark and late. Even though I had been walking in a sweater and sweatpants all day, I was getting cold. We stood up once the sun went under, and walked back to the tent, knowing that in one hour it would be totally dark here. The sky was clear all day, and still there wasn't a cloud to be seen. At day it was warmer and sunny, but at night it only meant that you could see the stars, and it was way colder.

When we finally arrived, it was pretty dark already. I had bumped into a tree twice, which wasn't that much for me, it only was more embarrassing that it was the same tree. I crawled into the tent, lighting up my phone to see something.

My camera flash shined through the tent, and then there it was. A _huge _spider, at the upper side of the tent. It was seriously almost as big as my hand.

'Oh god.' I mumbled while my eyes widened, and slowly crawled back towards the exit, where Cato was still waiting till I got in the tent.

Usually I wasn't a person getting scared of spiders, but this thing was huge! I stepped out of the tent, keeping distance with it in case the spider would just come out.

'Cato?' I asked, in a way too sweet voice that it almost became sickening.

'Yeah?' He frowned. 'Can you get that thing out of the tent?' My heart was still beating fast, I almost needed to calm myself down.

'Which thing?' He looked pretty weird at me, maybe because of my pretty strange act, which didn't fit me at all.

'A spider.' I said, which more sounded like a whisper. 'That thing, seriously it was as big as my hand.'

'Okay.' He shrugged, and crawled in the tent.

I didn't even want to look, and stepped a few steps away from the tent, with my hands before my eyes.

'Which spi-' he interrupted himself. 'Oh, that one. Okay Clove, you were right. That thing is big.'

'Get it out of the tent.' I sneaked a peek.

'Fuck. Where did it go?' He sounded confused. 'Huh?'

'Do you need light?' I quietly asked, not that I was going to get into the tent to bring him the light, no fucking way. But he got out of the tent.

'Yeah.' He answered, and I handled him the light of my phone's flash. He moved in the tent again, looking around with my phone.

'I think it's gone,' He said. 'at least I can't see him anymore.'

'That is worse, Cato. I know it's terrible to see a spider, but it's only more frightening when you _don't _see it anymore. I'm not getting into that tent before it's gone. I want to save myself from a heart attack.'

I stood there, outside the tent in the dark waiting till he got the spider out of the tent. I was almost freezing there, but I wouldn't go back till that thing was gone. 'Oh there you are.' I heard him saying. A shiver ran through my body by thinking of picking that spider up or something.

I held my hand in front of my eyes again, till he said 'It's gone.'

I sighed and crawled back inside the tent, mumbling a 'Thank you.'

When I got in, I closed the tent, in case the spider would come back, or worse, more of them. He didn't answer, so I just got inside my sleeping bag with a lot of rolling. Cato gave me my phone back, and I quickly scrolled through the photos.

There was nothing new, only a lot of selfies which annoyed me, so I threw my phone next to me.

I blew hot air in my hands, was it so hard to warm up? It took almost an hour to get myself on a temperature in which I could sleep, and then I fell asleep.

...

I woke up shivering, in the middle of the night. When I looked aside I saw that Cato was still asleep. It was a clear night and that was why it was so cold. I rolled a few times in the sleeping bag, in the hope that I'd warm up or something, but I didn't.

'Clove?' I heard next to me, apparently he wasn't asleep.

'Are you okay?'

'I'm fine.' I answered. Actually the scale went; Awesome, good, not that good, bad, and then fine.

'Cold?' He asked, and turned his head to me.

I nodded, not knowing if that was able to see because I was shaking the whole fucking time and it didn't stop.

'Come here.' He patted on the ground next to him.

So I shuffled myself and my pillow to his side. Just like yesterday, but this time he didn't lift his arm.

'Not there.' He rolled his eyes and held his sleeping bag open for me.

'Oh..' I said.

'Don't be shy, Clovely. I'm not going to do anything.' He grinned.

'Uh okay.' I shrugged and got out of my sleeping bag, and tried to get in his. I hardly could get in mine, you should consider how hard it was to get in another sleeping bag with a person in it.

It took pretty long, but after a while I finally made it. I had to admit, it was a lot warmer here. I curled up against him, still shivering, for fucks sake it just didn't stop. He put his arm around me, making more space at the same time. For some reason his scent made me more relaxed.

'It may be only 89 days, but in these 89 days we're going to kick some ass.' He said, half laughing. How could he be so positive and happy if he was going to die? Not that worrying would help, but it still was weird.

It felt like I already was losing him, even though he was never mine.

* * *

**I feel like a terrible person, and i'm fucking sorry. **

**Sorry is just a shout in the void, i know, i know..**

**If you've got any ideas for the story, please tell me because i'm stuck. **

**Love ya all! **

**REVIEW = MORE**


	18. Closer to the truth

**So it's easter weekend :D **

**And I'm not so sure if I can upload this weekend, i'm staying with my family. **

**Though, I hope you all are going to have a great weekend!**

**Have fun readinggg.**

* * *

I woke up by the noise of splattering raindrops, and looked around me. The other side of the sleeping bag was cold, Cato wasn't there anymore. He wasn't even in the tent. Where did he go? Actually I didn't felt like searching him, it was raining like hell. How could he even go away without waking me up, and did he even went outside in this weather?

I grabbed my phone, to check the time and messages.

11:23 already, I probably slept pretty long. I sighed and let the phone fall on my lap, I was still sitting in Cato's sleeping bag.

After five minutes I decided to call him, he had to be somewhere in these woods. I unlocked my phone and called him, when it finally worked, I heard his ringtone next to me. Of course he left his phone here, I rolled my eyes. Now I still didn't know where he was, but I could check his messages.

By this thought I almost felt like a distrusting girlfriend who had to check his messages to know if he wasn't cheating. Then I realised that I was. Well, I did trust him, but not completely.

I grabbed his phone, and of course I had to make a pattern to unlock it. I tried something, but it didn't work. But the fourth time it did, and a few messages from Glimmer and someone named Veronica.

Who the fuck is Veronica? I tapped on her profile pic, black haired, pretty tan, I guess she was between 17 and 20 years old.

Her status read ''I'm the bitch your parents warned you for.'' Wow okay, attitude.

Weird girl, acting a little bit badass here. She had texted Cato, what has she even to do with him?

_[Veronica] 10:30: You still owe me something, remember? _

_[Veronica] 10:31: In an half hour at the wall, city side. _

So that was where he was, he didn't reply her message, but he was gone now. That said enough. I stared confused at the screen of his phone, what did he owe her? I held my phone next to his, and took over her number. That could be useful someday. Maybe I should text her, or just go to the wall too. But I was already sure that I couldn't climb up that wall without Cato's help, so I just let it for what it was.

I heard the zipper of the tent, so I quickly locked his phone and lay it down where it was before.

I grabbed the backpack and searched for a towel. Cato hopped inside the tent, and set down a cup Starbucks coffee in front of me.

'Is that for me?' I frowned. Did he seriously walked all the way, and over the fucking wall to bring me coffee?

He nodded. 'I thought that I was going to be a good person, and then the rain came. Fuck mother nature.'

I threw the towel to him. 'Uh, thanks..' I blushed, and took a sip of the still warm coffee, and held the cup in front of him. 'Do you want too?'

'Nah.' He said. 'I don't get you girls with the Starbucks obsession.'

I laughed, and drank the rest of what was in the cup.

...

Actually I wanted to ask him who Veronica was, but then he would know that I had been on his phone, and I didn't want that.

'Do you know what the Hunger Games are?' I frowned, remembering that I was searching on the internet and couldn't find anything.

'The only thing I know about it, is that it's negative, and literally a black page in our history.' Cato answered. 'That's why they gave you the points for it.'

'That's possible. But I mean, I thought at first that it was a eating competition or something. That could explain the name.' I shrugged.

'Clove, it's not a eating competition.' He laughed, and dried his hair with the towel I gave him.

'How do you know that?'

'If it was just a eating competition, they wouldn't hide it for us.' He said. 'It's something they don't want us to know.'

'But now I want to know.' I muttered. 'I searched all over Google, but it couldn't find anything.'

'If it's not in history books, and not even legal to talk about, I don't think you can find it at Google.' He patted me on my shoulder.

'Well it was possible,' I rolled my eyes, defending my dumb actions. 'and why it is not legal to talk about the history? That's nonsense.'

'It is, but like I said, it's a black page in the history. It's probably way worse than just a eating competition.'

'Prob-' I got interrupted by a huge thunder above us, and saw the lighting through the canvas of the tent. 'Oh for fucks sake, no thunderstorm, please.'

'This makes me want to swim.' He said, and it was like there came a light bulb in his head. 'Hey, we were going to swim.'

'Well not now, we would get electrocuted.' I frowned, looking outside.

'Is that a limit?' He grinned.

'No Cato, that's insane.' I shook my head. 'We're not going to do that.'

'Okay, okay.' He looked down.

'Like you even want to swim in this weather.' I chuckled.

'Well it doesn't matter for me, I'm already sodden.' He shrugged.

'But I'm not.' I said, grabbing another towel for him.

The ground almost started to shake when there was another thunder.

'Oh god earthquake.' I squealed. I got in the sleeping bag again, and rolled myself up in it.

'What are you doing?' Cato laughed.

'Preparing for the moment that we get electrocuted.' I answered from inside the sleeping bag. 'I don't want to die yet.'

'Are you afraid of thunderstorms?'

'No, I'm afraid of getting electrocuted.'

'At least that is a fast way to die.' He said. 'It's better than slowly suffering to death.'

'We aren't going to talk about death, it's a horrible thing.'

'Dying is a normal thing, Clove, only murder makes it worse.'

'Stop talking about it, seriously.' I half got out of the sleeping bag.

'Okay.' He shrugged again.

'Is this ever going to stop?' I muttered after a huge lightning was to be seen through the canvas. We kept talking for a while, but though we came at the subject death again.

'How do you even know that the school is actually killing people? No one knows what really happens in these days.' I asked him.

'They killed my brother,' He sighed. 'He told me as much as possible when he knew he was going to die in the hospital.'

'Oh god, really?' I looked down, feeling sorry for him.

He just nodded. 'Clove, you can't tell this anyone, if they find out that I have told you about this, I wouldn't even make these 88 days.' He looked at me, way more serious now.

I knew he had told me that he wasn't afraid to die, but I could tell that he was scared. But everyone would be scared if they'd know that they only had 88 days to live. It was in my mind the whole time, these 89 days he told me about yesterday, but the clock has been ticking and now it was one day less. I knew that death was a natural cause, but dying could be anytime.

Actually dying is a side effect of living, or living is the side effect of dying. I think living is more a side effect of dying, because from the moment you're born, you're dying. Life is a deadly disease, only you've got the choice to live while you're dying. You are dying the whole time, only it's a surprise when you are dead, at least it should be a surprise. But Cato knew he was going to die, and probably had the feeling of a time bomb, counting the time in which he would explode. It would be awful to live like that.

'I won't tell anything.' I promised him.

'Okay good,' He began, confirming that there was way more to tell. 'So he was really injured after these days at school, and was brought to the hospital. He had a upcoming surgery, and that evening I visited him and when no one was around, we talked about what happened.'

'And?' I looked at him, starting to get interested in this story.

'They give you a thing in your blood, and if your heart has been stopped, they send you to the hospital. The hospital knows what is going on out there, and tries to save as many kids, so the number of victims minimizes, and the school has less parents to tell them the news.' He said.

And then a nurse came inside the room, so we couldn't talk further, but she had been listening for a while, and send him directly to the surgery room. They took me away from there and put me in a weird waiting room, I stared out of the window till I heard some doctors say 'Clear his mind, he can't know anything.''

I held my hand in front of my mouth, this story was awful, the truth was even worse. 'I'm sorry.' I mumbled, but it was not even audible.

'Well, I was fucking scared so I ran away from the hospital, in case they would follow me or something. Three days later we got a letter from the hospital, that he had been in a car accident and that they tried to save him, but that it already was too late. But I already knew the truth, and couldn't tell it to my parents, or to anyone else. The hospital had killed him during the surgery, I don't know how, but they did.'

'How do you know that they killed him, he was going to die anyways right?'

'They knew that he told me about it, so they had to kill him. It's just sad that you can't even trust a hospital anymore, they're all in the conspiracy of Panem High, all of them!' he answered.

'How old were you then?'

'Thirteen.' He said. 'So I had to find a high school and shit, and because I knew what was going on, I didn't want to go to Panem High, but my parents almost forced me to, so I just went to this school, knowing that it would be as good as suicide.'

I sat closer, and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around me too, pulling me closer. I swear to god, I felt so terrible. Not for myself, but for him. But that was the thing, people with the best advices are been through the most. 'I fucking promise, I won't tell anything.' I mumbled.

'Good, it's been five years, but I'm sure the hospital still would kill me if they recognized me.'

'It's weird that a hospital becomes something to be afraid of, isn't it?' I said. 'I mean, they're supposed to help you.'

'Yeah well, you can't trust anyone.'

'Wasn't it hard to keep your mouth shut?' I frowned. 'Couldn't you just call the child line or something? They had to understand, right?'

'You think they actually _believed i_t? A 13 year old boy, which attempts that his brother is killed by the school and hospital?' He laughed sarcastically. 'They would think it was a prank or send me to a mental hospital.'

I pulled back out the hug and sat next to him. 'Yeah right.' I looked down a bit, knowing that he was right. 'They would never believe us, just a couple of teenagers who tell them that the school is murdering children each year.'

'Exactly, and that is why it's called a conspiracy of silence, and not just a vow.' He nodded. 'All these years I couldn't tell anything, and then you made a huge mistake and came to this school, but for me that only turned out positive.'

'For me it turned out positive too,' I smiled a little. 'If I didn't came here I'd never know you.'

'It's kind of awkward that our first meet was when you congratulated me with going to die.' He laughed. 'but for some reason I knew that because of that, I could tell you all this.'

I didn't know what to answer, so I just smiled.

* * *

**I thought that you guys had to know a bit more about Cato's past, so here you go.**

**I will try to write and upload this weekend, but I'm not sure if I'm able to..**

**Be a 'fucking good person' and leave me a nice review :3. Or not, you can be mean too, that's okay... **

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**HAVE A NICE WEEKEND '3 **


	19. Love apples

**HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!**

**And may the eggs be ever in your flavor :3**

**Okay have fun reading.**

* * *

Now I finally got why it was so hard for him to trust me with words. It was nothing to let me drive a car, which I could crash, compared to this. This wouldn't only be his death, but mine too. Plus our families could be in danger too, we could have told them what was going on.

'Clove, it doesn't matter what we're doing, we are always one step behind them.' Cato told me.

'Still, they can't go on doing this every year, it's terrible!' I said. 'but what can we do against it? Nothing right?'

'Well, I can do something, it doesn't matter actually, I'm going to die anyways.'

'No you're not going to die.' I shook my head.

'Clove you can tell me that like thousand times, but it won't change anything. In their opinion, I know way too much, and even if I get out alive and get into the hospital where they used to save my fucking life, they wouldn't even try.'

I sighed, he was right, again. I used to never lose a discussion, but now there was Cato who beat me like every time. I didn't know why I got back at the ''you're not going to die'' in every conversation. It was like I was searching for the answers I knew all along, but didn't want to believe that they were the truth.

I grabbed my phone to check if the thunderstorm was ever going to stop, which was in 2 hours. Two fucking hours we had to just sit in the tent.

'We have to get the tomato's.' Cato suddenly said. 'I feel like we are going to forget it, and end up with nothing to throw at that cheap bitch.'

'That cheap bitch,' I repeated, laughing. 'she's still your girlfriend.'

But he slightly shook his head. 'Nope.'

'You broke up with her?' I frowned.

'I called her this morning, she was fucking mad.' He grinned. 'So I think that she deserves the tomato's in her face.'

'Hell yeah!' I nodded. 'Fuck the thunderstorm, we're going to get the tomato's.'

'And food, I'm hungry.' He said, while we crawled out the tent.

I put on the hood of my sweater immediately, I didn't want my hair to get wet. I looked around myself, to the treetops and the dark sky above them, knowing that it was pretty insane to walk now here, through a forest. People always said that if there is a thunderstorm, you needed to get away from water, high tops like trees, and iron. The wall where we had to climb over had an electric fence, and we were standing pretty high there, so I guess that it wasn't that save.

We walked quickly through the forest, at every moment that there was a thunder, I looked up to the sky, like I wanted to know where it was coming from. Every time that there was a lighting flashing somewhere above me, I felt my heart almost beating through my chest. God, I was scared, but I didn't want to show it.

When we finally arrived at the wall, the storm came closer. 'Clove there is no chance that we are going to get hit, and if we do, we won't remember it anyways.' He said. 'The same odds as winning the lottery. Did you ever won the lottery?'

'No.' I answered curtly, walking a bit slower to arrive later at the wall.

'Then you aren't going to get hit.'

'That doesn't make sense.' I shook my head.

'I know, but still you have to get up here.' He pulled himself up the wall, and sat down on it. He moved his head closer to the fence. What the fuck was he doing?

'Uh, Cato?' I raised my eyebrow. Did he thought that he was that delicious that he wanted to get fried? Well _that _didn't make sense either.

He grabbed the fence with his left hand, and didn't get electrocuted. 'It's turned off,' He said. 'Are you coming?'

I simply nodded and ran towards the hall, grabbing his helping hand to pull myself up. I crawled up so I didn't have to sit on the wet wall anymore, and stepped over the – without electricity – fence. I didn't care if I would touch it now, it wouldn't hurt me anyways.

'And now,' He told me. 'Shut your mouth about everything we have spoken about.'

'And now,' I said. 'Welcome to the place where you can't say anything, because you're a part of a fucking conspiracy of silence.'

He looked at me, half shutting his eyes. 'Yeah, that kind of things. Don't talk about it.'

...

He jumped off the wall, me following him. I landed on both my feet, not as hungry as the last time, while I hadn't eaten this morning. I didn't stagger as much, no, I stood pretty steady. Maybe because I wasn't so insecure now, I've done this before, stepping over the limit. Stepping over limits felt good, actually, you don't have to care about limits and rules other people make for you, you make your own rules. Still we had to shut our mouth about whatever we wanted to say, because if we didn't, we'd die. It was pretty confusing to know what you could, and couldn't do here.

I glanced over the street as we walked past buildings, not really much people were walking here, except a few elder couples, and a group teenagers hanging on a staircase which leaded to a train station. And then there was a white car, which I immediately recognized, my heart started beating faster, but I held my breath for some reason. It was police.

I felt Cato's arm wrapping around my waist, pulling me a bit closer to him as we walked down the road.

'See?' He said quietly. 'For some reason we always have that ''shit, cops!'' feeling when we see police. It's weird, isn't it?'

'We are afraid, even when we try to deny the act of being scared, we _are_ not comfortable when they're close.' I told him, talking quiet, just like he did. I didn't want anyone else to hear it. He nodded, and we walked further, trying to avoid them.

But it was no use, they followed us. Why were they following us? We automatically started walking faster, but they passed us and made us stop. By this time I wasn't even breathing anymore, I never used to be so scared of police, but since I knew that they worked in the conspiracy of Panem High too, I couldn't look at them the same way.

'Excuse me.' Cato said, trying to be nice or something. He tried to walk with me, past them, but they stopped us again.

'What do you think you're doing?' The left police man said, he was pretty fat actually. My thoughts raced through my head, obese people, I couldn't just say to him that he needed to lose weight because it was unhealthy, but to smoking people you could say that, weird world.

'I, I am taking my girlfriend to a place to drink something.' He said.

I laughed at his gently man act, with that ''excuse me'' Though I loved how he called me ''his girlfriend''.

'No, you're not.' The policeman said.

'Is that illegal too? Drinking something?' I blurted out, immediately regretting it.

The man looked at me firmly. 'You two should be at school, don't you?'

'We have a day off.' I said. 'Now can you go out of our way, I need something to drink.'

'You can have a drink at the office too.' The other policeman said, he had some blonde hair showing underneath his police hat, and wasn't that fat as the other one.

The left policeman crossed his arms, slightly turning his head to me like he was expecting an answer from me, and not from Cato.

'I'm sorry that I have to disappoint you,' I sighed, trying to say it as serious possible. Still I didn't know where I had the courage from to say this. 'But I'm not interested in a date at the office. I know that I'm fucking fabulous, but I'm not single, sorry.'

Cato couldn't hold his laughter anymore when he saw the facial expression of the policemen. And I couldn't hold it back when I saw his reaction, and chuckled 'Excuse us now, we are going to get a drink, somewhere.'

Cato probably thought the same and pulled me past the two bewildered policemen, on the road to I-don't-know-where.

When they were a half road length behind us, we both started laughing.

'Your reaction,' Cato grinned. 'I swear to god, I wish I had filmed it.'

'Yeah me too, I'm never _ever_ going to do that again.' I nodded.

'This was a perfect example from why I love you.' He kissed me on my forehead.

'Disappointing policemen?' I frowned.

'I don't know, you're just not afraid to say these things.'

I shook my head, and chuckled. 'I was fucking scared, but fear shouldn't hold you back. It is just another limit you need to cross to see what you really can do.'

I think that he pulled me with him when he walked over all these limits, and now I started doing the same. My parents would describe it as a bad, rebellious thing, but I actually liked doing this. I already knew that they were never, ever going to accept Cato as my boyfriend, nor even allow him into the house. But sometimes you just need to ignore all the commentary and people who judge you, to be happy.

'Come on, let's get the fucking tomato's.'

'Since when are the tomato's fucking?' I frowned.

'I don't know, do you think tomatoes can have sex?' He shrugged.

'Uh, all I know is that they're grown on plants. But they don't have a name like 'the love apple' for no reason, right?'

'We are weird.' Cato nodded.

'Very weird.' I confirmed.

...

After a while we arrived at the same grocery store as yesterday, and walked inside. I finally pulled of my hoodie, which was totally wet because of the rain, just like the rest of our clothes, totally sodden. We walked to the vegetables, and searched the tomato's, which weren't that hard to find because they were well, bright red. I grabbed a few tomatoes, trying to pick the most heart shaped ones just to feel the irony when we'd throw them at Glimmer. Heart shaped love apples throwing at his ex, that would just be hilarious.

Still it was hard for me to fall in love with someone, while you can't think of a future at all, there just was no future, looking to the past wasn't a use too, but the present was the one to live in, and it was amazing right now.

We headed to the cashier, and paid for our food, actually only tomatoes and filled cakes. The thunderstorm was ending by this time, only a bit drizzle was falling from the grey sky. I didn't felt like putting on my hoodie again, that thing was still sodden just like the rest of my clothes.

We walked outside the store, and headed down the road towards the wall where we had to climb over. Was that the same wall where Cato had something to do with Veronica? I didn't even want to know it, actually.

I rested my hands in the pockets of my wet sweater, while we walked further till we heard a weird scream coming out of an alley.

I stopped walking immediately, to hear it a bit better. The woman, yeah I was sure that it was a woman, screamed again for help.

I didn't know what was going on, but it was heart-breaking and we had to help her! Cato looked around himself too, trying to figure out where her yelling was coming from.

I ran to the other side of the street, and then to the right where an alley was.

I rested my back to the wall of a bank, and sneakily glanced into the alley, and this was the correct one.

My breath caught in my throat, and I guess that my heart skipped a few beats.

I wasn't sure if it was true what I saw, so I looked again.

The two policemen we met earlier today, holding a gun against an elder woman's head.

She sat on her knees. 'One more sound, and we'll shoot a bullet through your head.' I heard the policemen speaking.

* * *

**Naw poor woman :(**

**So I had some time to write, so I did. And now you've read it, happy now?**

**I am really happy with you all as readers! And I don't think that I can thank y'all enough for all your support.**

**REVIEW = MORE.**


	20. Moving on

I didn't know what to do, I still stood there with my back against the wall while an elder woman could be shot with their gun any second. I felt weak, I had to do something, I couldn't just leave her there, poor woman. I beckoned Cato, who still stood on the other side of the road, but immediately walked towards me. But he accidently walked past the alley, and glanced inside it. He probably saw the same what I just had seen. He didn't stop either, just quickly walked towards me.

'What do we have to d-' I said, but he pressed me to the wall.

'Shut your mouth.' He mumbled, not talking too loud. I just nodded, indicating that he could let me go. He did.

'Just listen to them.' He whispered in my ear. 'Don't speak a single word.'

So I did, I zipped my mouth and listened to the two policemen talking to the woman.

I couldn't hear every single word what they said, but I could notice that she had spoken words that she shouldn't. Words that she couldn't say out loud, just like us with school. Probably it wasn't just on our school, but the whole country. It was all a conspiracy, and we were the ones walking with it, doing nothing about it. This woman, probably was a rebel in their eyes. Standing up for what was right, fighting against the things what were not. I wanted to do something too, I had to do something. I couldn't just stand here. It was wrong what they were doing, really, really wrong.

I stepped away from the wall, to walk towards the opening of the alley. Cato grabbed my arm and pulled me back. He pressed me against the wall again, harder than last time. Not that I really cared about my own pain, there was a woman there who could die any second.

'We're leaving this place.' He said quietly, trying to pull me away from the alley.

But I refused to go with him, I couldn't go away. We had to help her! I shook my head. 'No.' I said. 'We're staying.'

He only rolled his eyes, and didn't even answer as he lifted me from the ground and walked away.

'Put me down.' I muttered, my feet searching for the stones of the street.

'You seriously don't weigh anything.' He grinned while he walked further down the road.

'Really funny,' I rolled my eyes. 'Now are you going to put me down on the ground?'

'Nah.' He shrugged, and kisses me on my cheek.

'No, no, no, no.' I said quickly after him, elbowed him in the stomach, forcing him to put me down, and he did.

'For fucks sake, we have to help that woman.' I said, turning around to walk the walk to the other side of the road, in the direction of the alley. I clenched my fists and quickly walked away.

'Clove, what are you going to do about it?' He said after me. 'You can't set a step in that alley before getting shot.'

He was right, I think. I didn't wanted him to be right again, he was always right. I used to be the person who always won discussions and speaking as easily, telling lies or the truth, it didn't matter for me. At least I said something, and in the end people were always on my side with the discussion, because I was the one who always won it. But now I wasn't. He took my place, son of a bitch.

'Ugh.' I muttered, and turned around again, walking towards him. When I was getting to the place he used to stand, he walked with me towards the wall. It wasn't that far anymore, to get to the wall and just climb over it and act like nothing happened. But there were things happened, an innocent human being could get killed by police any second.

Cato pulled his arm around me, resting his hand on my shoulder. 'Don't touch me.' I said.

'Are you on your period?' He frowned.

'No!' I shook my head. 'I'm just a little angry that we can't do something. We should do something!'

He still didn't put his arm back, and I didn't slapped it off me as I used to do before this weekend.

'If we would do something, they even shot us before we could even get to that woman. They would kill her afterwards anyways. It was no use to help her, and I didn't want you to get hurt either.' He told me.

'If you were alone, would you have helped her?' I asked him.

'Yeah probably.' He answered.

'Then why wouldn't you when I am with you?'

'Because I don't want to pull you with me, into_ my _problems.'

'But this wasn't _your_ problem, this wasn't my problem either. That woman had a problem, and we had to help her and we didn't.'

'Maybe we aren't that good human beings as we think we are.' He shrugged.

* * *

I tried to think more positively. 'Maybe they're not even going to hurt or shoot her. Maybe it was just all an illusion. We don't know the story what was behind it, Cato.'

'They will hurt her.' He nodded.

'Maybe they wo-' I got interrupted by the bang of a gun, which echoed twice through the city. The thoughts flashed through my head, knowing that the woman was dead now.

My eyes filled with tears. I didn't wanted to cry for someone I didn't even know, but she didn't deserve this to end her life. It was our fault that she was dead, we could just have helped her and we didn't!

I turned to Cato and hugged him, actually it was more like crying on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me too, pulling me closer. 'Clove, it's okay. We couldn't have done anything for her.'

'Well uh,' I said between my sobbing. 'We could have like, saved her life.'

'We couldn't.' He said, almost sounding emotionless, but I could feel his heartbeat beating unsteady, just like mine.

'Can you be not right, just for once?' I asked him quietly.

'How do you mean not right?'

'Well you're always right, no matter what you say. It annoys me.' I answered. 'If you said that she was going to stay alive, maybe she was?'

'Stop being so optimistic, of course she wouldn't stay alive.'

'Stop being a pessimist.' I rolled my eyes.

'I am a realist.' He answered.

'Whatever.'

I tried to stay strong, and tried to went in a discussion with Cato. Just to stop me from crying, but at the time my thoughts flashed back at the gun shot, I started sobbing again. I wasn't that strong and confident as I thought I was, since I came here I was almost crying all the time. Why couldn't I just hold my tears in like everyone else?

He laid both his hands on my shoulders, and slightly pushed me away. 'And now,' He said. 'Get over it?'

'Well if that was so easy I've already done it.'

'Nobody said it was easy.' He rolled his eyes. 'But there just is no easy way in whatever you do.'

'Following everyone else, that is easy. It is just that we don't do that and make it harder ourselves.'

'Yeah right. But you have to move on.' He wiped away my tears. 'Don't look back that much, you aren't going that way.'

We walked further towards the wall. I couldn't keep myself from looking back to the alley somewhere in the street, maybe they were like burying her body somewhere. It was terrible, just like the fact that we didn't help her.

'Now you're doing it again.' Cato said, but pulled me with him to the wall which only was a few steps from here.

* * *

He lifted me first this time, and I grabbed the edge of the wall trying to pull myself up. After a lot of struggling I finally made it, in that time Cato got up the wall too. Was I seriously that slow climbing things?

'Look out, its turned on now.' He pointed at the fence, which was a bit shaking because of the electricity. I just nodded and stepped over it, almost touching the fence.

We both jumped from the wall, splashing in the mud.

'Ew.' I mumbled while I looked at my sweatpants, totally under the dirt now. Cato just grinned at my reaction, and we walked further on our usual way to get past the waterfall and lake, and suddenly arrive at the tent. I took a deep breath, replying the words ''Get over it'' in my head, over and over again. After a while it began to annoy me so much that I couldn't get it out of my head anymore, I started to get crazy. Why was getting over things not that easy? Why did it always had to be the hard way? There was just no normal mode for us, so I wasn't doubting about that one.

I knew that I had to get over it, I couldn't think or cry over it the whole time. I didn't even know that woman, still it wasn't fair, but a lot of people you don't know die in this world, which isn't fair either. Life was not fair, life is not fair. It'll never be fair, that was clear for me.

We walked past the lake, this time over the hill where we sat earlier this weekend.

'Have you brought your phone with you?' Cato asked me after a while.

'Nope.' I shrugged and shook my head.

'Good,' He said while he grabbed my hand. 'Then we are going to jump.'

'From the waterfall?' I laughed. This idea, was like the others, pretty insane. Plus the water was ice cold. This was not a good idea, we shouldn't jump into this thing, it was like a-

'Limit,' He pointed at the waterfall. 'We don't do them right?'

'Oh now is it a _we_?' I frowned. 'I thought that you were the limit-crosser here.'

'Nah, you're joining me.' He put down the plastic bag from the grocery store.

I sighed, knowing that I was freezing after I would jump. 'Okay then.'

Hand in hand we ran towards the edge of the hill. Quickly a thought of rocks underneath the waterfall almost stopped me from running, I would break my bones if I would land on a rock instead of water.

But we didn't stop, when we reached the edge I jumped from my right leg into the open space. Air was blowing through my hair because I was falling down. My arms flapped around myself, like I wanted to fly or something.

'Fuck gravity!' I squealed. It was higher than I thought that it would be, but no second later we splashed into the water.

'Okay that is cold.' I wanted to say, but the only thing what happened was me, choking on water. My body was freezing, which made it harder to move. I had to move, if I wouldn't I would only make it harder for myself and then I could drown or something. I wouldn't drown, nor die. I moved my arms and floundered with my legs, trying to swim up. I looked up to the lighter part of the water, knowing that I had to go there.

There was no going back, no looking back. The only thing I had to do was go forward, and move on.

Gasping for air I came above the water, and then I started choking. I quickly swam towards the waterfont and grabbed the grass to not drown into the water again. I set my fingers in the grass and soil to not slip away. Then I could cough as long till it would fade away.

I had swallowed some water down there, so that had to go out of my lungs. Actually I didn't know what exactly happened when I jumped into the water, all I knew was that it was hard for me to move my limbs and that I couldn't breathe. I still hardly could breathe, what was air?

'Suffocate carefully.' Suddenly I heard a voice behind me, so I turned around. It was Cato, of course it was Cato. Who else would be so weird to go and swim here in this freezing water.

'Are you okay?' He asked me.

'Do I look okay?' I answered almost a minute later, when I could breathe normally again.

Still my lungs hurt, so did breathing. Breathing should be a relief right now, but it wasn't. It actually hurt more than not-breathing.

'Not really,' He answered. 'But you are going to be okay.'

'I hate my lungs right now.' I muttered. 'They hurt.'

'What happened?' He leaned on the waterside too.

'I don't know what happened. But I hardly could move myself.' I answered.

'Then how did you get up?' He frowned, but couldn't hide the little smirk on his face.

'Get that smirk off your face before I slap it off.' I said. This actually wasn't funny at all. I could have died there.

'Okay, okay. But tell me?' He told me.

'Well I just looked up where I wanted to go, and swam to that place.' I shrugged, what made me caughing again.

'Did you look back?'

'No.' I answered curtly.

'See?' He grinned with that I-was-right-again look. 'If you looked down you would waste time, and you could die.'

'Well as long as I can breathe oxygen I will not die.' I rolled my eyes. 'It's different here, this fucking water tried to kill me.'

'That is not different, Clovely. The world will always try to bring you down, or kill you. Just to see you drowning for their pleasure. The thing is that you won't let yourself get killed by the world, or water.'

* * *

**Some life-saving advice here *ahum* **

**I feel sorry for that woman in the alley, but okay. I'm sorry that I had to do this.**

**I seriously feel like a murderer if I kill a character. I am not a good human being I guess...**

**Well, I hope you liked ittt. Sorry that I couldn't upload yesterday :(**

**REVIEW = MORE (as usual.)**

**[Oh and if you have an idea for the story, please tell me because I'm running out of ideas. Not Clato-related things are very welcome too. (:] **


	21. Mockingbirds and Tomatoes

Totally sodden we walked back to the tent. I was sure about it when we were about to jump, and I proved it now; It was cold. And even worse, it was still cold now we got out of the water. My socks and shoes felt like sponges by every step I took, at least they made the same noise as when you squeeze a sponge. The dirt and fallen leaves on the ground were sticking to my wet sneakers, which surprisingly were still on my feet and not somewhere drowning in the water.

We didn't spoke much at the way back, maybe because there wasn't really much to say left. I think I knew the most of his problems, and I didn't felt like talking about mine. I loved talking about things, but when I was the subject it changed a lot for me.

The thoughts about the woman who is probably dead now kept me silent too, I felt guilty that we didn't help her out, even when we would risk our lives for it. We should have helped her out, when they were talking I was almost sure that she has said things she couldn't say, pretty much in the same situation as we were at school. She could have helped _us_ too, but now she is dead and gone.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, but kept walking next to Cato. My right hand held the handle of the plastic bag with tomatoes which we brought from the grocery store, always ready to throw them on someone. In this case, someone was Glimmer. Still an weird name, seriously who would name its child ''Glimmer''.

...

Finally arriving at the tent, my clothes were still sodden, just like my shoes. I crawled inside the tent, with Cato following me. I sat down next to my sleeping bag, grabbing the backpack in which the other towel was. I turned my back to him, facing the canvas of the tent and dropped my clothes to put on the dry t-shirt and jeans. I felt pretty smart that I had brought more clothes. After that I wrapped my hair in the towel and made a turban on my head.

'What do you think that that woman said?' I asked him, sitting down on my sleeping bag. It was colder than I thought with only a shirt so I got inside of it . 'Where she got shot for?'

He frowned, running his fingers through his hair. 'Uh I don't know.'

'Maybe something about the past, with the Hunger Games and shit like that?' I shrugged.

'Yeah that could be. We are not supposed to know that, but if that is a reason to kill someone?'

'A lot of things are illegal nowadays.' I said. 'I guess we'll never know what she got shot for.'

He shook his head. 'Well yeah, she probably died there.'

I just nodded in sympathy, not knowing what to say. Sometimes the words you don't speak say the most, so silence was okay in this point.

But the silence continued, the only thing I heard were the birds chirping outside from high in the trees. They were exactly repeating the melodies from congeners, pretty fascinating that these birds could be that smart. However, human beings weren't that smart too, but could flawless copy each other in whatever they would do. Not only in talking, but we all were clones from the average teen girl. There was nothing like an original person, we all were the same, sheepish citizens who would follow the crowd. Funny how we were afraid for a zombie-apocalypse when we already were them ourselves.

I thought that if we were a couple just back home, we would talk way more. But we both just didn't have that much to say anymore.

Silenced seconds, minutes and hours ticked by. Time was weird when you finally accept how important it is. I wasn't afraid of time, but I hated it. Time was going to take away Cato. If another girl would take away my boyfriend I wouldn't be okay with it, so why would I be okay with it when time did. Actually time wasn't the one to blame, but the school was. The one who would kill him was.

The silence got interrupted by a bird who flied right into the tent, above my head.

'Holy shit.' I muttered, crawling away from the hole created by the beak of the bird.

'That thing is blind!' Cato grinned.

'Is it dead?' I gasped. 'No, it can't be dead right?'

'Go check it.' He gestured to the hole in the canvas.

I just shrugged. 'Okay.' And crawled out of the tent.

And there it was, a little grey bird with a twisted neck laying on the grass. I didn't know really much about birds, but I thought that this one was a mockingbird, they looked pretty similar. Maybe birds, where just like people, not as smart as they think they are.

'It's dead.' I mumbled, staring at the motionless bird on the ground.

'Tell it that it shall rest in peace.' I heard Cato laughing from inside the tent.

'That isn't funny, Cato.' I looked down. 'Poor bird.'

'Hey I was trying to be nice to your little dead friend.'

'Stop being so mean.'

'I'm not mean. I am a realist, and that bird is dead, you just told me.'

I walked around the tent, and kicked the canvas at the place Cato would sit, and hell yes I hit him.

'Clove?!' I heard from inside the tent.

'That was your reward for being mean to the bird. It can't stand up for itself, you know.'

'No, of course it can't. It's dead.' He said. 'You don't seem to like the truth that much.'

'No one likes the truth.' I nodded, and crawled inside the tent again. 'That is how all relations went wrong, it's not the lie that ruins it, but the truth.'

'Yep true.' He nodded. 'I hope that a tomato in a face hurts as much as the truth.'

'Me too.' I replied, knowing that he was talking about Glimmer.

After a while it was getting dark, too dark too see. And it started raining again. Thanks god that we could stay inside the tent right now, and just sleep. By this time I was getting tired, and was lying in the same sleeping bag as Cato, just like yesterday. Only this time it wasn't that awkward. No, this time it was more like spooning. And in that way I finally fell asleep.

...

The light blinded me when I opened my eyes again, which meant that it was probably somewhere in the morning. When I looked behind me, Cato was sitting but leaving me asleep. At that moment I noticed that he was stroking my hair all the time.

'Good morning.' I mumbled.

'It's noon.' He simply replied, but kissed me on top of my head.

'Shit, don't we have to be back at the parking place in an hour?' My eyes widened.

He nodded. 'I didn't wanted to wake you up.'

'Well I'm awake now, let's throw some tomatoes at that bitch.'

'I can't say no to that.'

We both got out of the sleeping bag, knowing that we should pack our stuff and move back in just one hour. And the whole tent had to fit in the bag again, so there wasn't time to relax or even eating. I started rolling my sleeping bag, with the little pillow in the middle, and it didn't really work. Every time I finally rolled up the whole thing, it didn't fit in the bag.

It took me 10 minutes, but then finally the sleeping bag was done, now like the whole tent.

'How are we going to put down the tent?' Cato frowned.

'I don't know, can't we just kick it and bury it somewhere?' I chuckled. 'That would be a lot easier.'

'We just kick it.' He nodded. 'The bird ruined it already, so we are just going to make it a little worse, right?'

I shook my head a little, holding back my laugh. Grabbed everything inside the tent and threw it outside. Actually the only things laying here were the sleeping bags, our tomatoes and my clothes from yesterday, but okay. After everything was outside the tent, we crawled out too. When I got back on my feet, I crossed my arms while looking at the tent. I was figuring out how the hell we were going to put that thing in the little bag again. 'It just won't fit, I guess.' I shook my head again.

'It has to fit, when we came here it fit, so it does now.' Cato told me.

'Okay?' I shrugged.

He was right, longer than a half hour we struggled with putting the tent in the bag. But it fit! I put on my sweatpants and sweater again, because they couldn't see that I brought double clothes.

'Can you call Glimmer?' I asked Cato after a while. 'We can't go to the meeting place with all these tomatoes. We have to throw them now!'

'Sure.' He nodded, and picked his phone out of his pocket.

'Put it on speaker.' I whispered when the phone rang twice.

''Hello?'' I heard a cracking voice coming out of the speaker.

''Uh hey, can you come for a minute?'' Cato said.

''No.'' Glimmer answered curtly.

''You're still mad?'' Cato responded, making a face. ''I don't want to end this shit this way, we need to talk.''

''This shit is our relationship?'' She sounded pretty annoyed.

''Yep.''

''Ugh okay, on my way.'' Glimmer hung up the phone.

...

We just waited for something like five minutes, knowing that we should go back to the meeting place at this time, but this was way more important. I mean, throwing tomatoes on your boyfriends' ex, who doesn't want that?

And there she stood in front of us, still in her tight clothes and Gucci bag. Ready to get covered by tomatoes.

* * *

**GLIMMER IS GOING DOWN! *Muhahhaha.* Ready for some action?**

**Sorry it was short, and sorry it's late that I upload, but I was busyyy. **

**AND sorry that it ends on a cliffhanger.**

**Though I hope you liked it.**

**Oh and; I'm starting to think that all these '' Review = more '' becomes pretty annoying, so i'll stop doing that.**

**It's that I just like to get reviews, so be a nice human being and just leave a comment.**

**Okay? Okay.**

**Have a nice day.**


	22. Fight

'The _price _of these things weren't really expensive,' I mumbled and rolled one of the bright red, heart-shaped tomatoes between my hands. 'Neither is the person we're going to throw them on.'

'Who are you going to throw tomatoes to?' Glimmer frowned.

'You.' I smirked, then threw a tomato against her forehead.

It didn't splashed like it should, pretty disappointing. It just bumped to her head and fell on the ground.

'Who do you think you a-'

I interrupted her by throwing a second tomato, to her face again. This time I threw a little harder, which did make the tomato splash. The red substance still was stuck on her face, but a little bit trickled down her cheek.

'Bitch.' She squealed, wiping the rests of the tomato off her face.

'They are called ''Love apples'',' I said as serious possible. 'Hurt, doesn't it?'

I threw two more tomatoes. The red substance got all over her top and bag.

'Oh god!' She yelled. 'Can I wash this off?'

Cato shook his head, but surprisingly didn't threw anything. It was _his _idea to do the tomato-thing, but he didn't do anything.

'You both are going to pay for this.' She muttered, then turned her back to us and walked away.

I couldn't help myself for yelling 'What _Price_?' after her.

Though she didn't turn around and just walked away. It didn't went like I wanted it to. My mind had thought about an awesome tomato fight, but it wasn't. I only had thrown three tomatoes, it wasn't enough. It was never enough, that bitch should be covered in tomato-sauce.

'Ah well, sometimes things don't go the way you wanted it to.' Cato shrugged.

'I seriously expected it to be a whole tomato fight or something.' I said. 'But it didn't.'

'We'll get her another time.'

We both packed the sleeping bags, and tent. Then headed back in the direction Glimmer walked too, knowing that somewhere in that zone the parking places should be. I kicked some dirt from the ground into the air, sauntering through the wood. We would probably go the correct way, so I wouldn't have to pay a lot of attention to that.

...

Five minutes later we arrived at the open parking place. I glanced over the space, the pile was still on the same place with thrown tents and backpacks on it. They were probably too lazy to just lay in on the pile. A few cars were already gone, but Glimmer, Cashmere and Marvel were hanging on a clean white car. They looked in our direction, but I didn't take the effort to wave at them or something. I didn't liked them really much.

I hated them was a better description of how I thought about them. And suddenly I remembered where I'd belong now. This relaxing weekend in the forest ended here, and we had to move back to the normal situation on school. School with their problems and shit, and then the people who only make it worse for each other. Things changed a bit after this weekend, a lot between me and Cato, but that probably had consequences about relatives. Maybe it was normal now that I should hang with them, but my life was still apart from Cato's, so this didn't mean that I had to befriend them all.

'There she is.' I heard Marvel saying, then looking back at me. Probably they had talked about the tomatoes and me. I was sure that Glimmer had changed the whole story, making things look worse to get attention. Cashmere and Marvel walked towards us. I could have went another way to the cars to avoid them and their bullshit they had to tell us, but sometimes I just had to stand up for myself a little more, so I just kept walking forward.

They stopped in front of us, just like the policemen did. I had to stop to not bump into them, and I did. I couldn't walk away and I didn't even want to walk away.

'Girl, who do you think you are?' Marvel said.

'The bitch your parents warned you for.' I said, quoting Veronica's status. Then rolled my eyes when I saw his frowning face, so I held out my hand 'Clove, nice to meet you.'

He didn't shake my hand. 'You made our friend cry.'

'Well if you don't dare to shake my hand, then don't expect me to be nice either?' I said. 'Is she seriously crying?'

Did Glimmer seriously cry about some tomatoes which were thrown at her? This did explain why she was still standing by the car and sent her friends to talk to us. I saw Cato looking at her, almost walking towards her if I didn't grab his arm. 'Don't go, she's just looking for attention.' I told him.

He just shrugged. 'Okay' and stepped back to us.

'And you're okay with this thing?' Marvel said to Cato, indicating me.

'I have a name.' I rolled my eyes.

'Me?' Cato frowned. 'You two are totally okay with that pathetic thing there crying over the fact that Clove threw a fucking vegetable at her.'

'If a vegetable makes her cry then yes, we are okay with that.' Cashmere said.

'Who the fuck cries about a vegetable.' I chuckled. This conversation turned into a totally awkward thing about vegetables and to make it even worse it almost turned out into a fight, shown by Marvel's expression here.

'Vegetables can hurt!' Cashmere crossed her arms.

'It was a love apple.' I said totally calm, bringing my hand to my heart.

'Well love can hurt too.' She shook her head, trying to correct me.

'Can we stop about vegetables?!' Marvel tried to stop this stupid conversation.

'Sure.' Cato said.

'Can we stop about pathetic girls crying about tomatoes too? Okay thank you.' I crossed my arms.

'You didn't throw just a tomato, Clove.' Marvel said.

'She did.' Cato responded.

'I wasn't talking to you.' Marvel told him.

'Well if you two are trying to defend Glimmer in this whole situation, don't expect me to be okay with everything you are making my girl believe.' Cato said.

'Whoa, wait. You two are a couple now?' Cashmere finally noticed it.

'WHAT?' I heard Glimmer screaming from the car's place. According to the fact that she wasn't crying, but just listening to our conversation while sending her friend to us to fix her problems. Not pathetic at all, right?

Glimmer almost ran towards us, when she was here she slapped me against my cheek, leaving a sweet tingling pain there. My predictions were right, this was going to end up in a fight. I wasn't such a fight starter, to be honest. But I could end one, and that was exactly what I was going to do. Instead of rubbing my cheek, crying, or even step back, I hit her back. She did step back a bit, but just when she was about to hit me again, Marvel pushed me to the ground.

Crawling up again, my body did hurt. Not only from the fact that I just have been pushed onto the ground, but the nights weren't that comfortable too. Every morning in the tent my bones hurt, and this only left me with more pain. When I glanced back at the other four people, I saw Cato hitting Marvel. Not like I hit Glimmer, but this was going to be a fist to fist fight. And I thought that these two were like friends or something.

'You shouldn't have done that.' I heard Cato saying. Probably according to me, being pushed.

And again, like my predictions they were ending this up in a fist to fist fight. People get so predictive nowadays. Cashmere and Glimmer just stood there looking at them, not doing anything. So of course, I had to do something.

By the time I stood on my feet again, I walked towards them. Taking the courage to step in between of their fight, I already had to stop Marvel's fist before it hit Cato. '

Get out of the way.' Marvel told me. Still I didn't even budge, they had to stop fighting before someone would get really injured.

Sadly enough that person turned out to be me, because of that I didn't move, Marvel hit _me _instead of Cato.

Before I could even notice it, I was laying on the ground again. This time with an huge pain in my head, especially my cheekbone. I could feel my heartbeat beating through it, which did hurt every time it beat. I could cry, I could stay here on the ground. But I didn't want to be the girl who didn't fought back. I just didn't want to be so weak.

'Oh my fucking god.' I heard Cashmere gasping.

I forced myself to get up, but everything went a bit blurry when I stood on my feet again. I almost fell because I was so dizzy, but I couldn't pass out now. I stumbled back to the two boys, who were still fighting. Actually they were more just two silhouettes which were continuing hitting each other, in my eyes.

I turned to Marvel and kicked him in the balls. I didn't know why and how, but he fell on the ground, moaning in pain what actually made me laugh.

But I was so dizzy, and almost felt like I was passing out. In my natural reflex I just sat down on the ground with my head leaning in my hands. It felt so heavy that my neck hardly could lift it. I could try to ignore it, but the pain took over every feeling in my body. I almost couldn't think anymore, at this point the pain was the only thing I could feel, and it kept demanding to be the only thing to be felt.

Cato helped me to stand up. I would fall again if he didn't support me here. We walked back to the car, leaving the fight. What probably was one of the most pathetic things you could do in this situation.

But when I looked behind me, I saw Cashmere and Glimmer walking back to the car, Marvel already was behind the steering wheel.

He opened the door for me and I got on the seat, glad that I could sit again. The seat of the car was probably the first comfortable thing I sat on during this whole weekend. I thought that this weekend was great, and notwithstanding the things we have done, it was actually pretty relaxing. But then this day came, and ruined it.

Cato started the car, his hands clasped the steering wheel, but then he looked back at me. 'Are you okay?'

Usually I would say no, but I had to act stronger than I actually was. 'I'm fine.' I answered.

'How did you even got up?' He asked me.

'Probably you don't see this problem, but because I'm a bit smaller than the rest, people always see me as a weaker person, and I just wanted to prove that I'm not. I can fight too, okay.' I said.

'As long as you stand up again, then it's okay.' He shrugged.

'That is the thing, I _have_ to get up, even when others wouldn't. If they would stay on the ground it would be understood. But when I would do that, people would see it as ''she stays there because she can't handle it, because she is smaller.'' And I'm pretty sick of that bullshit.'

We drove over the same highway as I had driven the car on Friday. On our way to the hometown.

* * *

**Well okay, hope you liked it (:**

**I want to ask all of you to send me an idea or something for the story in the school-life, like I said, i'm running out of ideas :o**

**And i want to thank you all for taking the time to reading my story so far. (:**


	23. Lost

After a long drive, including some little traffic jams, we finally got in our hometown. Because everyone had to sign out, we had to get to school first before we went home. I pushed the car door open, got out and slammed it behind me. My eyes looked over the place, which was once in a year a place full of murder. It wasn't possible for me to see this place in a positive way anymore. It just wasn't that innocent, caring about that we would learn something, type of a school. No, of course I had to go to a school which murders people.

And then I knew that a lot was changed since the last day I had been here. I used to hate Cato. Mister know-it-all actually did know a lot. Not everything, but in the school's eyes too much, that was for sure. Then that problem in the hall back then, where I actually kicked his ass. Why didn't he just hate me? That would be so much easier for me. But everything I thought about him was wrong, so again; things aren't what they seem like.

My eye caught Jackie, standing there at her car with Thresh and Katniss. I headed over the almost perfectly laid stones on the ground, and stood beside them. 'So,' I began. 'How was the weekend?'

'I'd better ask you the same thing.' Jackie said. She looked pretty damn excited to hear my story. I bet she was ready for some fighting stories, or drama things. But it wasn't like we expected this weekend to be.

'To be honest, it was awesome. What about you?' I looked over the three of them.

'Whoa,' Jackie repeated several times. 'What?'

'Is that sarcasm?' Katniss squinted. 'I think I get to know you and your sarcasm.'

'It's not.' I said.

Thresh shook his head. 'So how is it to be three days long in a tent with Mr. I'm-too-awesome-to-follow-rules ? Plus with his jealous girlfriend. It doesn't sound that good, does it?'

I bite my lip. 'Which jealous girlfriend?' I frowned.

'Oh it's a multiple choice now?' Katniss grinned. 'Why doesn't that surprise me.'

'It isn't, he broke up with her.'

'He did?' Jackie laughed out loud.

I nodded, but didn't tell them that well, we were a couple right now. Just afraid for their reaction, even though Jackie was the one who told me to get a boyfriend. I knew that I couldn't hide it forever, but I just decided that I wouldn't tell it today

Annie and Finnick came standing by Jackie's car too, Annie immediately grabbed my arm while she could hold in her laughter. 'Clove,' She chuckled. 'You don't know how hard I was laughing while checking Glimmers phone.'

'I would like to meet Price.' I grinned.

'Price?' Katniss frowned. 'What price?'

''Glimmers' boyfriend.' I answered.

'That is even a more idiotic name than Glimmer.' Finnick shook his head.

'I know right?' Annie shrugged.

'Where is Peeta?' I asked after a while, talking to Finnick and Katniss. Finnick was his partner in this weekend, and Kat was well yeah, his girlfriend.

'I don't know, I haven't seen him after the weekend ended.' Finnick shrugged, and so did Katniss.

'Okay, weird.' I said.

We all headed to one of the tables, with this time five women with white costumes on. They weren't the two women who always sat to prick our fingers every morning, this were nurses. I stopped walking immediately as my thoughts flashed back at the hospital, the story that Cato told me, about his brother and things like that.

'Everything okay?' Finnick frowned.

'Afraid of nurses?' Jackie chuckled.

I shook my head quickly, then looked around the open space which was the schools' territory. I couldn't find Cato standing somewhere with I don't know who. He was probably not standing with Marvel, according to that fight we just had. The only thing I did saw was that there was a police car stopping in front of the school. So I grabbed my phone and called him. He didn't pick up. I couldn't really control my heartbeat, which was again beating fast, and I could feel it all over my body.

'For fucks sake pick up.' I muttered while I called him again.

'Who are you calling?' Annie asked me.

'Cato.' I replied curtly, but it took the attention of almost all the girls who were surrounding us. I rolled my eyes and went to a corner of the school building, after four rings he finally answered the phone.

''Hello?'' I heard a questionable voice coming out of my phone. When I noticed that Katniss had followed me, I put it on the speaker.

''Where are you?'' I asked.

''Who is this?'' It still didn't sound really confident.

''Clove,'' I answered. ''You have my number, remember?''

I felt Katniss patting me on my shoulder, making a sad face.

''Oh yeah. Sorry, my phone is acting a little weird.'' He said.

'Excuses' Katniss mouthed, not making any noise.

''Yeah, where are you?'' I asked, then rolled my eyes.

''Back building.'' He answered curtly. I bite my lip, why the hell would he try to act all caring and shit when we were just together, but now back in normal life he was acting like a douche again. I was sick of this act.

''Can you come here?'' I asked.

''Nope.'' He said.

Katniss made a cut-it-off sign with her hand, but then she started to speak. 'Listen here, don't try to act all innocent when you are together with my friend, but then afterwards trying to break her again.''

''Speaker, seriously Clove?'' I heard him saying.

''Whatever, can we come or not?'' I rolled my eyes again.

''I'll come to you.'' He sighed.

''Okay bye.''

''Bye.''

I hung up.

I walked towards one of the stone walls of the building, and rested my back against it.

'I don't get this anymore, but if I need to I'll beat him.' Katniss said.

'You don't have to.' I chuckled. 'I can fight him myself.' Not that it was necessary, I'm not going to fight someone I love, but if I had to I could do it.

Cato walked around the corner, to us. 'What's wrong?' He asked me.

'You're the thing what is wrong,' Katniss said. 'Why are you-'

'I wasn't talking to you.' Cato cut her off, then looked back at me.

'Oh now we're going to act this way?' Katniss frowned. 'I swear to god, I think that you just should leave Clove alone.'

'Can you shut your mouth for one fucking minute?!' Cato said, then looked questionable at me.

I just slightly shook my head, almost unnoticeable, yet trying to make clear that he didn't have to leave me alone. I didn't even want him to leave, why did she even said that?

'There are some nurses and police there.' I gestured to the table where they were sitting.

Cato looked around the corner, then looked back at me. 'You're just going to sign out, I'll go to my car. You understand?'

'Cato I'm serious, stop acting so curtly to her.' Katniss said, clenching her fists.

'What are you going to do about it?' He frowned, looking at her hands.

I was sick of them arguing about me, so I just walked towards the tables to sign myself out, leaving them there.

'Name?' The woman asked me.

'Clove Kentwell.' I answered.

'You can leave.' She said, making a stripe after my name. Since I came to this school I saw stripes in a whole new perspective, but this was probably just a stripe to sign me out for the weekend.

After that I walked to Cato's car, in which he surprisingly already sat. They didn't argue really much I guess. I opened the car door and hopped on the seat, then closed it behind me. He started the car, then drove out of the parking spot, back on the normal road.

'No offence to you but you have pretty annoying friends.' He said.

'She was right in some points.' I shrugged.

He looked at me. 'Do I have to leave you alone or not?'

'No.' I said. 'Just stop acting so curtly whenever we are at school or something.'

'Okay.' He said. 'But then I want you to stop caring about what others say.'

'Fine.' I answered.

He stopped the car in front of my house, to drop me off. When I finally accepted that the weekend was over, no sleeping on the ground of the tent anymore. Not 24 hours a day around Cato anymore, that was something I'd probably was going to miss. Just here in a house with my parents, brother and sister. Then back to school with worries and stuff, maybe the forest wasn't that bad at all. I had spend three days here in the house, and three days in the forest. And actually I felt more home at the forest place. And this was just a place where I was lost in, a place they used to call 'Home'.

Before I opened the door, I kissed him quickly. Then I opened the door, and stepped out.

'Still I want to thank you for being an amazing partner.' I told him, then slammed the door behind me and walked towards my house.

He opened up the car window. 'I'd better thank you.' He yelled after me.

I had to turn around and just wave, but I bumped against the front door of my house. While rubbing my head I heard him laugh. I smiled, then walked inside the house.

'Welcome home.' I heard my mom say from the kitchen. It was almost dinner time, so the whole house smelled like food.

'Who was that?' My dad asked me.

I hopped beside him on the sofa, which was so soft and comfortable now. 'Cato.' I answered, turning on the tv.

'Hadley?'

I nodded.

'I thought that you hated him.' He frowned.

'I did, but I was wrong I guess.' I could feel my head turning red.

'Crush?' My mom asked me from the kitchen, she was probably listening to our conversation the whole time.

'More like boyfriend.' I shrugged.

'Oh no.' I heard my mom say.

'Funny,' My dad said. 'I just had a big argument with his dad, Marcus.'

'I don't care about that, actually.' I told him. Cato was right, I shouldn't care about what people had to say about this. The only thing they want is to break us apart, and we shouldn't let them.

'Good.' My dad said.

I just nodded, then got up from the sofa and walked upstairs, to my room. I hopped down on my bed, burying my face in the pillow which was really large and soft compared to the pillow they gave us there. I grabbed my phone to check the messages.

_[Jackie] 17:54: Why didn't you tell us that you and Cato are like a couple now?_

_**17:56: I just didn't want that everybody knew it already..**_

_[Jackie] 17:57: It failed, everyone is talking about it since Glimmer told people about the tomato thing?_

_**17:57: Good for her. **_

_[Katniss] 17:57: Clove help me._

_**17:57: What can I help you with? :p**_

_[Katniss] 17:57: I texted people like all the time, but nobody knows where Peeta is and he doesn't reply me himself. _

_[Katniss] 17:58: Last seen at 1 pm, at the parking places, by the forest._

* * *

**Peetaaaa ? :O**

**You wanted more drama, you'll get the drama. ;)**

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**Review me your opinion of this chapter/ ideas. Or the question down here.**

**Where do you think that Peeta is? o.O**


	24. Still gone

When I woke up the next morning, the sun shined through my window, right into my eyes. I winked a few times to not get blinded by the light, then rolled out of my bed, landing on the floor. I got up and got dressed. According to the sun, it wasn't that cold I guessed. Time for shorts, I thought. After I got ready, and had scrambled eggs for breakfast, I went outside on my bicycle because my scooter was still not working and standing at school. It turned out to be colder as I thought it would be, but it was only morning yet, it would warm up later, right?

I parked my bicycle in the bicycle-shed behind the back building, and walked around the school to get to the entrance, also known as the place where two women prick your finger to dip your blood on a fucking piece of paper. I hadn't seen Cato yet, but the fact that I didn't see Peeta made me more afraid. It's been twenty hours since the last time someone saw him, and it was scary. What if there was something really wrong going on, what if he was killed or kidnapped by someone?

But maybe I was just overreacting like I always do. Maybe he was just at school, already sitting in the biology class, where I used to sit next to him. There were really many people around here, it was logical that I hadn't seen him yet.

I got in the line in front of the tables, when I finally found someone I knew. Annie was standing in the line next to me. 'Annie!' I said. 'Wait for me, okay?'

She nodded, then turned around to the woman in front of her.

There were just two human-beings before it was my turn, so I just had to wait. While waiting I got the awareness of the fact that I was losing time by waiting. Since Cato had told me about the time thing, I wanted to spend my time well, and not with pointless shit.

The woman pricked with a needle in my finger, dipped it on the paper and scanned it. 'Pass.' She said, gesturing to the gate.

I went through it, then walked towards Annie, who was still waiting for me. 'Have you seen Peeta yet?' She asked me, sounding worried too.

I just shook my head, then looked down.

'I seriously don't have any idea where he can be.' She said.

'Maybe he is just in biology class, he's sitting next to me, and you and Finnick are behind us. Right?' I said, there was still a spark of hope that he was just in that lesson, and not wherever he could be.

I walked with Annie towards the lockers, glancing over the place. I hoped that I wouldn't see Glimmer, Cashmere or Marvel. Cato used to be in their group too, but according to the fight we had yesterday, I don't think that it's like that anymore. I opened my locker, grabbed my books and slammed it till it was closed. It took me four times, stupid lockers. The school might better fix these things before someone rips the locker out of the wall because it annoyed him so much. But of course the school has the money and time to organise a game till death with weapons and shit, but not to fix a locker.

When I turned around Katniss stood right behind me.

'Have you seen Peeta?' She asked me with a sad expression on her face.

'Maybe he's just in classes already.' I said to give her some hope, but actually I already knew that it was false hope.

'I'm serious, where can he be?' Katniss bit her lip. Was that because she had to cry? I didn't want her to cry.

'I don't know, I'm sorry.' I said quietly. 'But we are going to figure out every single thing, aren't we?'

She nodded. Then the bell rang, Katniss had another lesson than me and Annie, so we split up.

'I'm feeling sorry for Katniss.' Annie said. 'I mean, if Finnick disappeared out of nowhere, I would really freak out. Or have a mental breakdown or something, I don't know.'

'Same thing with me and Cato.' I blurted out, not sure if she already knew about it or not. Though it was true, if Cato was gone I really would break down. Maybe because gone would be a thing as goodbye, really gone.

We walked inside the class room of biology, seeing the always happy Effie, which didn't really fit our mood right now when we saw that Peeta's chair was empty. It was empty, just like the feeling inside. It wasn't the usual glass half empty or half full thing, the glass was totally empty. And the worst thing was that we didn't know where the water went.

I sat down on my place, besides Peeta's chair, I guess that I had to sit alone this lesson. Not that I really cared about that. Effie closed the door, watching everyone taking a seat.

'Does anyone know where Peeta is?' She looked around in the class. 'Oh, and Cato. That doesn't even surprise me anymore.'

'Peeta is gone.' Finnick said. 'Nobody knows where he is.'

'Oh, well I'll tell principal Snow about this.' Effie told us.

And that was the moment wherein Cato opened the door, and walked inside the classroom.

'And why are you late?' Effie frowned, silencing the whole class.

Cato stood there pretty awkwardly, refusing to walk further. 'Well I couldn't find hell at first, but here I am.' He shrugged, then took the chair and sat down next to me. Not at his place in the back of the class where he used to sit next to Glimmer.

'Who said that you could sit there?' Effie said.

'Nobody did, just as the fact that nobody said that I _can't _sit here.' He told her. 'You are always complaining that I can't sit in the back of the class, but this isn't good either? What do you want?'

A little laugh bubbled up inside of me, but I tried to hold it in.

'You getting out of the class room.' She pointed at the door. It remained still for a while, no single one was making a noise. 'Go out, now.'

'I just got here.' He looked questionable at her.

'You already are making me sick, go to the principal's office.' Effie raised her voice.

'Then don't ask me why I'm late if you don't want me in your lesson at all.'

I held my hand in front of my mouth to stop laughing. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

Effie's eyes glanced at me, which made me go silent again. I tried to sit and act a little looser, and not so pathetic friendly. I didn't want to be a part of the sheepish people around here who follow whatever the school tells you to blindly. I looked at Cato, who already was looking at me.

'Let it go.' He said, where after a few girls in the back of the class, close to the window started humming the melody of the song.

'Quiet!' Effie yelled through the classroom. 'Cato, Clove, go out of the class room before I push you out of the room myself.'

We went quiet again, but didn't do anything. Which really made her freak out. 'Okay one last chance, if you screw it up you'll go to Snow and then you really have a problem.' She still talked loud.

I nodded, what made me a follower of them, but at least it wasn't blindly. I knew what I was doing. The thoughts of Peeta being gone leaved me silent for a pretty long time.

The lesson went on, not that I was paying attention. Half the class was already talking quietly, so I found a moment to do the same.

'Cato?' I whispered, making him looking up at me. 'Why does she hate you so much?'

'I don't know, ask her.' He grinned.

'No.' I said.

'Is that a limit?' He frowned.

'Every limit is a challenge in your eyes. But it's not the same damn thing okay.'

'It's fine by me if you don't want to do something, your choice, not mine.' He said.

When everything was silent again, we stopped talking too, if not everyone would hear anything we had to say. The lesson passed by, just like seconds on a ticking clock, just like the rest of the lessons.

After the last bell rang, I walked with Jackie to the lockers. Actually it surprised that I didn't have got some stripes today, especially during biology. I opened my locker, then laid my books in it so my bag wouldn't be so heavy. Her locker was only a few steps from mine, so when I was ready I headed to hers. After she was ready, we went to Katniss, standing in the hall with a tall brown haired boy, and Annie.

When we got there Katniss introduced me to Gale, but I wasn't really into that.

'So, do we know a little more about Peeta?' I asked them.

Gale started laughing. 'That you still pay attention to Peeta. We are rid of him, be happy.' He put an arm around Katniss. Though she didn't look happy, not at all.

'Don't be so cruel.' I said, clenching my fists. If it was possible, my blood was boiling by now.

'Cruel? I'm just giving my opinion. People always become mad at me because of my opinion, it's not fair.'

'That was not an opinion, it was almost a command. But you can't tell someone who's boyfriend just disappeared to be happy. You just can't!' Annie came up for me.

Nice person, they said. Well in my eyes he was nothing but an awful person. I had to keep myself from hitting him or something.

'I can do whatever I want.' Gale said. 'People always will judge you, right?'

'That doesn't give you the right to say things like this.' I tried to pull his arm away from Katniss. But he pushed me away. Katniss didn't do anything. I didn't fell, just stood with both feet on the ground.

To put me out of this awkward situation, thanks god Cato just came here. Or he came here a bit earlier than I thought, because he was almost running.

He pushed Gale against the lockers behind him.

'Uh..' I mumbled.

'Did you just touch her?' He said.

'No I didn't.' Gale said.

'For fucks sake, if you touch her one more time, you're dead.'

'Oh we will decide who is going to die in the end of the year, won't we?'

'Oh no, not again.' Katniss muttered, then took a few steps back, away from the boys.

'Why don't we decide that right now?' Cato said.

'Whoa, put on a break.' I said. 'No one is going to kill anyone.'

'You mean that _you_ are going to stop us?' Gale almost laughed.

'Uh, yeah.' I mumbled. Then reminded myself that they were talking about the end in the year, with the point thing. This Gale was probably on the list too. He wanted to kill Cato. I wasn't sure if I had to fight or cry right now. Mixed feelings were the worst you could ever have. I thought I could blame the world when he was going to die, but here was the more specific part of it.

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I couldn't cry, not now. I had to fight to keep them in.

'How did we even get on this subject?' Jackie asked.

'It all started about Peeta.'

'See, this is exactly what I mean.' Gale nodded. 'If you even start talking about him, things are going down.'

'Stop it, Gale.' Katniss said. 'If he's here or not, he's still my boyfriend.'

I grabbed Cato's arm and pulled him away from Gale before they really started fighting or something. 'Kat, I'll call you later this afternoon, okay?' I said, leaving the place with Cato following me.

'Okay.' She said.

I didn't want to hear more commentary of that Gale person, so I decided to just leave the place. I still felt sorry for Katniss.

Once we were outside, I could breathe in the fresher air. It smelled like rain, maybe because of that it was raining pretty damn hard. And I thought that I could go in shorts to school, stupid me.

'Aren't you cold?' Cato asked me.

'That isn't really what I'm worrying about now.' I shook my head.

It was just sad that it could be that Peeta was in danger now, and we were hanging at school. Maybe we just aren't as good people as we thought we were. We always blame the world for the problems we get in, but the thing was; we form the world ourselves. And if we want to change something, we have to change with it. But no, we were just hanging at school while a good friend of us was like missing for 27 hours.

'Shouldn't we do something?' I asked Cato.

'About what?' He frowned.

'Well, search Peeta or something like that?' I shrugged.

'And you think you can find him? He can be anywhere in the district, and district 14 is pretty large, you know.' Cato told me. 'First we have to get a hint, a sign that he's still alive.'

I nodded , then then went to the right, so I could walk around to corner towards the back building where my bicycle stood.

'Where are you going?' He asked me.

'Getting my bicycle, duh.' I rolled my eyes.

'Hell no, you're coming with me.'

'Okay.' I shrugged, I didn't felt like cycling towards home in this rain anyways. So I got in the car, and he drove to my house.

'So you already know that Gale?' I asked him.

'Yep.' He nodded.

'And he's on the list too?'

'He's standing first.' He told me. 'The only motherfucker who's standing above me.'

'Not that it's something to be proud of, but what a bitch he is for beating you.'

'Exactly, now while it doesn't matter anymore. I'm going to die anyways, the first place is going to be mines.'

'You aren't going to die.' I said. 'Just win that thing. I'll help you.'

'You can't help me.'

'I uh, I can get on the list too?'

'Oh for fucks sake Clove, you aren't going to do that.' He said. 'You have no idea what you're going into.'

'I do know what I am going to do, don't talk to me like I'm just another sheepish follower.'

'I never said you were one. These are just my problems, and I went the wrong way. That doesn't mean that I want to drag you down with me.' He sighed. 'Just don't make the same mistake as I did. You are going to regret it when it's too late.'

'Okay.' I looked down.

'I'm just trying to warn you, don't be mad or something.' He grabbed my hand.

'I'm not mad.' I said. 'Just again disappointed in myself.' 'No need to.' He stopped the car.

'I talk to you later,' I said, stepping out of the car. 'Bye.'

'Bye?' I just walked towards the front door without looking back. I hated this kind of conversations, it just ripped your heart out of your body, without any mercy.

I walked inside the house, and looked around myself. Nobody was home, so I was all alone. I sighed, then sat down on the sofa and hugged a pillow, trying to not cry. Why didn't Peeta just returned today? He could have died. Why was my life not like it should be? Why was everything so damn hard, I didn't know.

My phone vibrated, so I took a breath and grabbed it.

_[Peeta] 17:01: Help?!_

* * *

**Peeta is still aliveee :D **

**You don't know where, and neither do I, actually haha.**

**Though I hope you liked it, leave a review if you're a fucking good person, okay thank you (:**

**Ciaooo.**


	25. Just give me a sign

''Katniss?!'' I spoke, holding my phone against my ear.

''Yeah?'' She responded.

''Peeta just texted me, he's still alive I guess.''

''Why would he text you instead of me? Ah, not that it matters, what did he say?''

''Help.'' I answered. Actually Katniss was right, why would Peeta text me instead of Katniss, his girlfriend?

''We have to help him!'' She said.

''I know, but how?''

''Call everyone, in a quarter we meet at the square close to my house, okay?''

''Okay. Bye!''

She hung up quickly, and I immediately called Annie. It rang three times before she picked up.

''We might have a sign from Peeta, can you meet in a quarter at the square close to Kat's house?''

''That children playground square?'' She grinned.

''Yep. Can you call Finnick too?''

''I will, see you later.''

I hung up, then called Cato. I was sure that my friends didn't really like him, but he could help us with this thing. Instead of letting it ring a few times, Cato actually did pick up fast.

''Can you meet close to Katniss' house?'' I asked him.

''I just got home. What's wrong?'' I heard his voice through the phone.

''Nothing, just come as fast as you can. Okay?''

''Don't act that creepy, Clover. I'm on my way.''

''Okay, love you.''

I was the one who hung up again.

That was like speed-calling. It was necessary to, we couldn't lose time. Not when a friend was in need, well actually not only in need, in danger. That was even worse. I put on my jacket, because it actually was colder than I thought. Plus it was still raining a bit. I grabbed a pair of black sneakers, and put them on. Still I didn't felt like going upstairs to put on long jeans instead of shorts, so I just headed out the door.

I always thought that it was a long distance between mine and Katniss' house, but it wasn't that far, actually. I walked quickly over a shorter road, through a lot of little streets and alleys which did creep me out, but I would be there quicker this way. It was only 6 now, but because of the layer of clouds above, it was getting dark. Or there was just going to be a storm or something, that was possible too. Looking around myself the only thing I could see were walls of big buildings, words and quotes were painted on them with graffiti. Things like ''The odds are never in our favor.''

I didn't know what I should think of it, which odds did they meant? It didn't make sense, actually. There were no odds for us, teenagers. The government had odds, we didn't. Here on the walls it said that they just weren't in our favor, but it was worse; we didn't have odds at all.

After a small 10 minutes of walking through these creepy alleys, I finally arrived at the square close to Katniss' house. Like Annie said, it was actually a playground where children used to play, but we used it as a place to hang. According to all the used cigarettes on the ground, we weren't the only ones who came here to hang.

Katniss, Annie, Gale and Cato were already sitting there. That Gale was here did actually surprise me, the fact that he and Cato were here surprised me even more. Gale and Katniss were sitting at the swings, while Cato and Annie choose the roof of a little playhouse to sit on. It was childish, this place, though a great place to hang.

'Clove,' Cato said, patting on the roof. ' I swear to god you scared me.'

'I'm the devil in disguise, of course I scare people.' I grinned, then climbed up the little house too, sitting in between of them.

'I still can't get over the fact that you two are a couple now.' Katniss shook her head.

'Take the time to get over it, because this is going to last long.' He said.

'Hear who's saying that.' She laughed.

I tried to cut them off. 'What about Peeta? I mean, where the hell can he be?'

'Anywhere in the district.' Jackie, who just arrived at the place, said.

'He texted you, right?' Cato asked me.

I nodded.

'Give me your phone.'

'Getting jealous?' I grinned.

'No, just give me it.' He rolled his eyes. So I handled him my phone.

I looked over the square, and saw Thresh arriving too, so I waved. Only Finnick wasn't here yet. I glanced over Cato, still busy with my phone. 'What the fuck are you doing?' I frowned, looking over his shoulder.

'I thought that I could like find his location or something, but I'm not that smart I guess.' He answered, giving me the phone back.

'Why don't we just ask him where he is?' Jackie said.

'If it was that easy..' Katniss sighed.

'We can try it?' Thresh shrugged.

'Okay?' Jackie said, grabbed her phone and typed something. So I decided to text Peeta too.

_**18:26: Peeta? Do you have any idea where you are? Every single sign is useful.**_

'Do you guys have an idea, where he could be?' Annie asked us all.

'I think he's kidnapped.' I said.

'I'm with Clove,' Katniss said. 'I tried to think positive, but I can't afford to think like that while he's more than 30 hours missed.'

'Maybe he's just with friends there or something.' Gale said. 'Why are we even spending time to these discussions?'

'Gale, for fucks sake help us or just leave.' Cato said.

'Kat's boyfriend is missed, don't you have feelings?' I told him.

'Of course I have feelings.' Gale said. 'Just not for Peeta, I'm not gay you know.'

I rolled my eyes and didn't even get further in this conversation. Gale annoyed me to hell and back, he couldn't do this to Katniss. I didn't knew their relationship, not that that mattered to me, but this was just rude from him.

I felt like slipping away from the roof of the playhouse, so I tried to set my feet on something to not fall from it. But there was nothing to stand on. The others continued talking about the Gale and Peeta problems, but I didn't listen to them. Cato quickly grabbed my arm once he realised that I was slipping, not that I would die if I fell, it was maybe 6 or 7 feet high. I hopped next to them again, this time a bit closer to him. 'Thanks.' I mumbled.

'So,' Thresh suddenly said. 'Not that we know where Peeta is, but what are we going to do about it?'

'Wait till he replies someone I guess.' Cato shrugged.

'Can't we just go to the police? They'll find him.' Annie said.

'Oh no, not the police. We can figure this out on our own.' Cato answered.

'Uh okay?' Annie responded. 'What's wrong with the police?'

'A lot, trust me.' I nodded.

'Okay.' She said, skittish looking around herself.

'Is it going to rain?' Jackie asked, looking up to the pretty dark shaded sky.

A raindrop fell on my knee, followed by another. 'Yup.' I said. 'If it's not a thunderstorm.'

'The weather sucks.' Katniss interpreted.

'Isn't that a tornado?' Gale pointed somewhere.

I shut my eyes. 'Really funny, Gale.'

'I'm serious, it's a small one I guess.'

'There can't be tornado's here.' I said before someone would creep out.

'There can be some tornado's here, hundred years ago they would talk about global warming. It's a bit too late now to stop it all.' He told me.

I glanced over the mini-tornado which was crossing the square by now. 'It's weird, such a small thing.' Katniss chuckled. I watched the thing twirling around, reaching Thresh' bike. 'Uh, wow?' My eyes widened when the bike got picked up by the wind, and landed a few steps further.

'Shouldn't we get away from here?' Annie bit her lip.

'Nah, it's not going to kill you or something.' Cato said, while he lit up a cigarette.

'But that is.' Annie looked at the cigarette.

He held one out for me too, I doubted a little, because now my friends would see me smoking, but after a while I did grab it.

'Seriously Cato? Now you are going to get her smoking?' Jackie frowned.

I looked at her. 'Don't tell my parents, please.'

'I won't,' She said. 'I'm not that type of person.'

'Though it's funny how you all think that this is really killing.' Cato said. 'Especially while a friend is like in life danger now.'

'He's right, for the very first time.' Katniss rolled her eyes. 'We should make a plan or something?'

'We can't make a plan when we don't know anything about his location.' I told them. 'We just have to wait.' Cato patted me on my shoulder. 'Waiting is hard when you're running out of time.' I sighed. 'I know, but do you have a better idea?' 'Nope.' He shrugged.

'Maybe we all should go home.' Katniss said, while lighting lit up the sky, I was right; there was going to be a thunderstorm.

I threw the used cigarette on the ground, where all the others were laying too. Then I went sliding from the roof myself, landing on my feet.

'Need a ride?' Cato asked me.

'I don't feel like walking in this storm thing, so yeah.' I nodded.

'Shall I make a group chat or something like that?' Thresh said. 'If someone knows anything, just tell it in the group.'

'That's okay.' Annie told him.

'Well, we see each other tomorrow then.' Jackie said.

'Yup, see y'all' Gale said, rolling his eyes.

'Bye.' I looked after them, then turned around to walk with Cato towards his car.

I opened the door of my side, and quickly got in. The rain fell a splattered on the front window, leaving a ticking noise at every drop. Cato got in too, and started the car. He drove backwards, almost hitting Gale who was standing there. I looked behind the car, and laughed because of his reaction. He almost fell from his bike when he saw the car getting near. He drove towards my house, over several roads I didn't really know yet. But he knew where he was going I guess.

'I don't know how Katniss does this all, without crying.' I said.

'Peeta is going to be okay.' Cato told me. 'Probably we're all just acting like drama queens here. Probably his situation not that bad.'

'Seriously, if you were gone I would drown in my own fucking tears.'

'I won't leave you.' He grinned. 'I wouldn't get kidnapped either.'

'Maybe Peeta is just an easier victim.' I shrugged.

Once the car stopped at my house, which I still couldn't call a 'home'. It was just a building where we lived in, but it didn't felt right. Not that I had a choice to leave or something. I opened the door of the car.

'I'll call you later, okay?' He told me before I left the car.

'Okay,' I said, then stepped out. 'Bye.'

I ran towards the door to not get sodden on this little way, then quickly pushed the door open and walked inside. I kicked out my sneakers.

'Clove? Where have you been?' My mom asked me from the table, they were already eating dinner.

'Just let her.' Dad said.

I sat down on the chair in between of Shane and Lotus, my usual place during any time we would eat.

'You smell like smoke.' Mom noticed.

I sighed. 'Yeah, someone was smoking there.'

'You don't, right?' She asked me quickly. I just shook my head, and looked down on my plate. I pricked my fork in the sausage, and cut it.

After dinner, watching tv to avoid making homework, I went to my room. It was 11:30 pm by now, ''bed time'' as my mother would call it. I went through my usual night routine; taking a shower, brush my hair and teeth, and then go to bed. I sighed when I finally lay down under the sheets. Why couldn't everything just be normal, without school's which were murdering kids every year, without friends being kidnapped?

Then my phone vibrated, first I thought it was just a message, but it kept doing it. I sat up to look at the screen and almost got a heart attack when I saw who it was. I quickly picked up.

''Hello?'' I heard a cracking voice on the other side.

''Oh my god, Peeta are you okay?''

''I'm fine, actually.'' He said.

''Where are you? I swear to god everything is useful.'' I asked him.

''Oh, I'm on train rails.'' He sighed.

* * *

**Peetaaaa :O**

**I had to write this chapter quickly, so yeah :s**

**I hope you liked it, and leave a review if you want to.**

**This was chapter 25, so it'd be fun if we would reach the 50 reviews (:**

**Hope you all are going to help me ? **

**Byeee.**


	26. Confused

''What are you doing on train rails?'' I spoke through the phone. But it remained silent on the other side. ''Peeta answer me.''

''Can you tell Katniss that I love her?'' His voice cracked, followed by a soft murmur.

''I will, but get away from there, please.'' I sat up in my bed, still looking down. There was like nothing I could do for him by calling, I didn't know where he was, I didn't know anything.

''I can't.'' He sighed.

''Why not?'' I asked.

''I'm tied down on this fucking rails, how can I be able to just get away?''

It's was the first time that I heard him swearing, but it didn't surprise me in this situation.

''I'm coming, to help you, okay?'' I threw the blankets out of my way and got up. I set my phone on loud speaker, and tried to find a pair of sweatpants.

''You don't have to.'' I heard him saying. I stopped searching pants, and sat down on the bed again.

''Peeta, what's going on there?'' I said quietly. ''Tell me everything.''

''Well, after that weekend thing, I heard a lot about Gale and Katniss, so I went into the city to have some time for myself. But after an hour I don't know what really happened, but when I could see again I sat in a dark room with two other people. I didn't recognize them, they had forage caps on. I stayed there for something like 30 hours, then they wanted money, or me dead.''

''Oh my god.'' I mumbled, running my fingers through my hair.

''I told them that they could kill me. I didn't know how I would get the money anyways. Probably they weren't that professional, they didn't have a gun or something; so it's night now and here I am, tied on train rails.''

''Why did you tell them that they could kill you?'' I gasped.

''It doesn't matter anymore, Clove. Katniss was like my whole life, and now I lost that, I just don't care anymore okay.''

''But she does love you, I swear she does.'' I swallowed. ''Peeta, we are going to find you.''

''How? I don't even know where I am myself.'' He answered. ''But hey, at night there aren't trains riding, that's positive, right?''

''It is.'' I nodded. ''Are you able to pick up when I call you?''

''I guess so.'' He mumbled.

''Then I'm on my way.''

After we hung up, I had to take a deep breath before moving on. It was no use to give up now, of course I could like break down and cry, but it wouldn't solve the problem. I just tried to calm myself down, and promised myself that if this all was over, then I could burst into tears if I still felt this way. Just not now.

I put on my black sweatpants, and an oversized sweater. It was mid night, who would see me, right? I stormed down the stairs, the lights were still on. My mom and dad were in the middle of a huge discussion, raising their voices and stuff. They both looked after me while I ran across the room, towards the door. I heard them saying something, but because I didn't listen I didn't know what they were telling me. I didn't even had time to think about it. ''Just move on.'' I told myself.

I stepped inside the sneakers I kicked out in the kitchen, then ran through the door. I ran down the street, feeling with each step a stinging pain in my hipbone, I didn't know where it came from. My eyes glanced skittish over the street, lighted with flickering lampposts.

But then I stopped moving, I stood on the middle of the road, looking around me. I didn't know what I was doing, where I wanted to go? What could I even do? Peeta told me that he was laying on a train rails, but there were a lot of rails in the district. Why was I running outside, I didn't even know where I was going.

I sighed deeply, then continued jogging, to Cato's house this time. I wasn't even sure if he was still awake, if he would even let me in. I wasn't sure about what I was doing at all, but at least I had to try something. It was totally silent on the road, a bit too quiet if you would ask me. It was around 1 now, of course there wasn't anybody at the road. Everyone had to work tomorrow, we had to go to school. But no, I was running outside towards my boyfriend's home to pick him up to save a friend who would be laying anywhere in the district on one of the rails across anywhere in the country. By now I was really doubting about what I was doing. I was so confused about myself, and what I was doing.

Standing in front of the door, I rang the doorbell several times. Upstairs there were some lights on, but it was totally dark on the floor. It took me some time to notice that I was shaking like hell, and if someone would open the door, I would probably look really pathetic. I took a breath, and held it in. I was starting something I wouldn't win anyways. I guess I had never ever in my life been so insecure about doing something. Even starting to like Cato was easier than this, and I remember that I had really regret that.

The door opened, with Cato's brother standing in the doorpost. It was probably the most awkward person to open for me, because I would be okay with his parents, I would like to see him opening, but this was really embarrassing.

'Uh,' I began. 'Can you get Cato for me?'

'It's one o'clock, and you want to talk to him. Is it weird for me to ask what the fuck he has done?' He frowned, resting his shoulder against the doorpost.

'I-I will explain this later, if you want, but just-'

'Clove?' I heard Cato's voice, then saw him walking to the door. 'What are you doing here, in uh, the middle of the night?'

'Grab your car keys, we're leaving now.' I told him.

'Whoa, calm down. What is going on here?' He frowned, totally overwhelmed by the situation.

'Please just hurry up.' I sighed.

He just nodded, then headed inside the room to grab the car keys.

Once he got with the keys, in my space again, I grabbed his arm and pulled him outside. I quickly walked towards the car, if Cato didn't pin me against the wall of the shed.

'What the fuck is going on Clove?' He looked straight into my eyes, waiting for an answer. 'Did I do something wrong?'

'No you didn't' I sighed. 'Can we just go now?'

'Then what is it?' He asked me again.

'We don't have the time for this.' I said. 'Just go to your fucking car before I break down and start crying or something.'

'Uh, okay?' He frowned.

I stepped away from the wall, walking away from the house. When the car was unlocked I opened the door immediately, and got in. We just didn't have any time to lose. The door on the other side got opened by him, and a gust of wind got inside, leaving me shivering a bit. He sat down on the seat, then looked for a few seconds at me, before turning on the car. I turned on the heat, if we maybe would spend hours in this car, it didn't have to be so cold. I still didn't have an idea what I was doing actually, and I almost felt sorry for bringing Cato in this situation too.

'Where are we going to?' Cato asked me.

'I don't- I don't know.' I shook my head.

'You come at one in the night at my door, ask me to leave and get the car keys; and now we're in the car and you don't know where we should drive to? What the fuck do you want?' He said, raising his voice a little.

I buried my face in my hands, resting my elbows on my knees. 'I don't have a fucking idea what I'm doing okay.' I sighed. 'Just go to Katniss' house.'

Immediately the car drove backwards out of its parking spot, making me almost lose my balance.

'Clove, this would be a whole lot easier if you would just tell me what is going on.' He told me. 'Now I'm just driving to I don't know where in the middle of the night, so yes; I am confused.'

I swallowed to hold back my tears, it wasn't just the fact that Peeta was in danger which overwhelmed me. I was so tired, and we had to hurry, and I was just so worried that everything was going to went wrong. That we couldn't find him or so, that we were too late and the trains already started riding.

'Let's ask this in another way,' He said. 'Are you able to tell me what is going on?'

I nodded, then sighed. 'Peeta called me, he's tied up on a railway somewhere.'

'Oh. Well that was clear. Sorry for reacting like this.' He grabbed my hand.

'It's okay.' I said. 'I'm just tired.'

'Then go to sleep.'

'No.' I shook my head. 'I can't just sleep right now.'

He stopped the car in front of Katniss' house, so I opened the door. The coldness got inside the car again, but I tried to not care about the cold and got out of the car. I walked down towards the front door, and rang the doorbell three times. Here were lights on, and after a while Katniss' mother opened the door.

Actually I thought it would be less awkward if a parent opened the door, but I was wrong. Though I was sure that if I was home alone, and someone would rang at midnight, I definitely wouldn't open. So I was happy that they did.

'Is Katniss still up?' I asked her.

'Why are you here?' She asked me. 'No, she's sleeping I guess.'

'I really need to talk to her, excuse me.' I said, walking inside the house.

The only time I had been here was during the party. I quickly walked upstairs, feeling so tired, but I knew I couldn't sleep now, though I was longing to a pillow. I opened one of the three doors, which was directly Katniss' room, thanks god. I quietly walked inside, and found her staring out of the window, not even sleeping like her mother said.

'Kat?' I said softly. 'Get ready, we're going to find Peeta.'

She looked up quickly. 'Really?'

'Yep.' I nodded.

Katniss rushed out of her bed, grabbing some sweatpants and a sweater too, and put them on. I stood there waiting, but did decide to tell her what we were going to do, if I knew what we were doing. Though it might get a bit too much for her if I would say that her boyfriend was tied down on a railway somewhere in the district and we had to find him. What I would totally understand, by the way.

'Okay let's go.' She said, heading down the stairs. I followed her, which actually was weird. She should follow _me, _she didn't even know what we were going to do actually. Blindly following, the thing I hated to do. But this time I was the one who could see what we were doing.

'Katniss?' Her mother's mouth fell open. 'What are you going to do?'

Katniss continued walking to the door, with me walking behind her. She looked up at her mother. 'We are going to save my boyfriend.' She spoke, then turned her back to the room and walked outside the door.

* * *

**Yaaay we're (going to try to) save Peeta :]**

**Be nice and review your reactions/comments for this chapter/story so far; I love to read them, i really do.**


	27. Searching Peeta

**Sorry that it took me pretty long, but here's some more action ;)**

**Have fun reading.**

* * *

'So,' Katniss began while she opened up the door of the car. 'What are we going to do?'

I sat down in the car too, Cato stayed here, probably too lazy to walk towards the door with me. I sat at my usual place, next to Cato. Katniss sat down in the back of the car, in the middle of the backseat so she could see what we were doing or something.

'Katniss, can you call Peeta?' Cato asked her.

'Uh, yeah sure.' She answered and grabbed the phone out of her pocket. 'Is he able to pick up?'

'It can be hard, but he told me that he could pick up the phone.' I told her.

'Whoa wait, he called you?' She sounded pretty shocked.

'Yeah.' I nodded.

'Hey, before you two are going to have an endless conversation, where are we going to?' Cato told us. 'Standing here on a parking place isn't going to lead us anywhere.'

'Uh, drive to a railway.' I said. 'Yeah, I got that part, but which way?' He rolled his eyes.

This was the problem, I didn't know where we should go. He was somewhere in the district, which was pretty damn large. There wasn't a chance that we were going to find him somewhere. Though if we didn't try, it was sure that he was going to die. We drove south during that weekend, and that was the place where he went missing. 'Go south.' I said.

'Where the fuck is the south?' He looked around himself.

'Uh,' Katniss mumbled, then pointed somewhere behind the car. 'That way I guess.'

He kicked the pedal and drove out of the parking place, then down the road. 'Now, where is that railway?' He asked us.

I looked through the window, but the only thing I could see was my reflection. It was dark outside, so things were hard to see, especially on places without lampposts. I moved my head a bit closer to the window, to see things better. But all I saw was the way that we were driving on, and a railway! And another railway, and more railways. All leading to different directions. I looked down, we were never going to find him this way. To the south were only more railways, in the north there were less. If he was just laying somewhere in the north at least we had a chance, but now I wasn't sure about it at all.

'Uh,' I mumbled, staring at the railways.

'Just say something, I have to drive somewhere, right?' Cato rolled his eyes.

'There are so much.' I said.

'Then just choose one, I can't stop on this road.'

'Cato, there are no roads next to any of these railways. How the fuck are you going to drive past them?'

'Past them?' He repeated. 'You're getting me wrong, we are going to drive on it.'

'On a fucking railway, are you crazy? What if a train comes?'

'Then your boyfriend dies, that's for sure. At least we are able to get away if a train comes, he isn't.'

'Wait, what?' Katniss shook her head. 'How do you mean he isn't?'

'Oh, you didn't know yet?' He mumbled, then shut his mouth immediately. It was like he had to think about what he would say, but he did say it after a while 'Uhm, he is like chilling on two steel beams, with a rope as accessories.'

'What?' Katniss raised her eyebrow.

'He's tied up on a railway.' He told her. 'I was just trying to bring that nicely okay.'

When I looked at her, her eyes were filled with tears, ready to drop down. And because of her reaction, I almost started crying too. But I couldn't, not now. I tried to keep the deal I had made with myself earlier this day. 'You can cry,' I said. 'I won't judge.'

She wanted to take advantage of that, tears streamed down her face, but she wiped them away quickly. 'This isn't going to solve anything.' She said, her voice sounded weird.

'Go that way.' Katniss said, pointing at one of the railways.

'You sure?' Cato asked before he turned the car.

'No.' She told him. 'But we have to try something, right?'

'Yeah right.' He said, then turned the steering wheel to the right. We drove into the berm, because of that a few cars behind us where honking angrily. Then we drove over a big bump, which was probably one of the steel beams of the railway.

'Can't you just drive next to this thing? This is insane.' I muttered while looking through the front window, seeing nothing but two rails in front of us, disappearing under the car as we drove forward.

'It doesn't matter,' He replied. 'But if you want to drown, I can turn to the right if you want.'

I looked to the right. My heart skipped a beat when I saw that there wasn't the way anymore, we were driving on a bridge, and far below us there was a large river.

'No, you don't have to do that.' My eyes widened by the thought of even falling into there, we would be dead, that was sure.

'What you want.' He shrugged. 'What time is it?'

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket. '2:30' I answered.

'And what time are the trains riding again?'

'4:30.' Katniss said. 'We have only two hours.'

'Damn it, that's not long.' I sighed. 'How are we even going to find him this way?'

'This isn't going to work.' Katniss looked down.

'Hey Clover,' Cato said.

I looked up.

'If I fall asleep, take over the steering wheel, will you?'

'You're not going to fall asleep.' I chuckled.

'I'm a human being, I need sleep to live okay.' He grinned.

'I would crash this car, Cato.' I told him, then glanced over the river below us. 'And I don't prefer falling into that.'

'Not that that would matter, we're 'falling' the whole time.' He said.

'Falling. In. Love.' I mumbled. 'You're right.'

'Falling in difficult, helpless situations.' Katniss looked down. 'Like this one.'

Seconds, minutes and quarters ticked by. Since Cato told me about the time-thing, I became much more aware of time. It was just ticking by, and you couldn't get it in return if you had done something stupid, useless or something you would regret. You couldn't stop it either, it was just passing by and you just had to waste it wisely.

'I think we went wrong.' She said after a while.

I nodded, turned on my phone to see the time. 3:50, only forty minutes left before Peeta was going to get hit by the train. I looked down, we spend pretty long driving this way, and didn't found him. It was actually pretty hopeless, like Katniss said. This was only one of the several railways, and we didn't drove the whole way, and spend so much time already. If we just knew on which railway he would lay, it would be so much easier. But there were thousands of railways in the district, there was no way we could find him! Well, maybe if we had a year, we had a chance. But we only had forty minutes.

It was like an idea plopped right out my brains, in cartoons they would make a light bulb above my head. I grabbed my phone again, called Peeta and held the thing against my ear. After three times ringing he finally picked up. I could imagine how hard it was to pick a phone up while you're tied up on a railway, actually.

''Hello?'' I spoke. Katniss turned to me when she noticed that I was talking to Peeta.

''Hey.'' He said through the phone.

'Put it on speaker.' Katniss mouthed.

''How are you?'' I asked, as everyone would do in a normal call conversation. Then I realized that his situation wasn't really to be called ''fine.''

''It could be better, you know.'' He said.

''Peeta, can you send me a photo of your location.'' I asked. ''I mean, a screen munch of the GPS thing.''

''I don't know, I can try to.'' He answered.

''Do you want to talk to Katniss?''

''She's there too?'' He reacted a little shocked.

''Yep.'' I said.

''Uh, okay then.''

I handled the phone to Katniss, and looked straight forward. Cato put the car lights on, a little brighter than usual. Probably because of the fact that if Peeta would lay on this railway, we could see him, and don't ride over him.

But then, far away there was a little light shining. The one light turned into three yellow lights. I squinted, like I could see it better. The three lights got bigger as we came closer, just like my eyes widened as I knew what it meant.

'Cato,' I swallowed.

He looked up. 'What?'

'Turn around.' I still stared through the window, at the lights, turning a little bigger every time I looked at it. Still, they were far away.

'Why?' He simply replied, like nothing was going on.

'That,' I glanced over the lights, and hardly could breathe at that moment. 'Is a train.'

'What?' Katniss gasped. 'Is that on our railway?'

I nodded, then sighed. 'Turn around Cato, I don't want to die yet.' '

'Hurry up.' Katniss squealed, apparently I wasn't the only one who was scared. Better said, I was shaking.

'Calm down.' He said, then uneasily turned the car into a small circle, the railway wasn't that wide. He drove back over the same bridge as we went before, with the water underneath it.

'Dude, how fast are we driving? Slow down, I don't want to crash.' She told him.

'70 km/ph.' He answered. 'First you tell me to hurry up, and now I have to drive slower? This is confusing.'

'It's getting closer.' I said, looking behind the car. Then I sighed. 'Go 170.'

'What?!' Katniss said.

Though Cato nodded. 'The train goes 160, so we have to go faster.'

'I'm afraid okay.' I buried my face in my hands.

'Don't live life that serious, you won't get out alive anyways.' Cato said.

Then I tried to get myself together, crying, screaming or whatever I wanted to do wouldn't get us out of this situation. We went to search Peeta, but now we had to get out alive ourselves. We had to focus on what we were doing. Probably the people in the train were like ''Who the fuck is driving on a railway?''

I lighted up, then looked at Katniss. 'You said that they were riding after 4:30, it's only 4 now.'

'It doesn't matter anymore, I was wrong okay.' She sighed.

My thoughts went back to Peeta, if here was a train, then was there a train too? He already could be dead by now. Maybe he was already dead, or in a few minutes. It wouldn't be long, that was for sure.

After a while, we drove on the highway again. We escaped from the train and were still alive, not that the train went that close, but it was terrifying as hell! 'Here.' Katniss showed me my phone, with a map with Peeta's location on it. It was to the north, and a pretty long way to go. 'Put it on navigation.' Cato said.

'Yes!' She clapped her hands, at least we knew where he was.

I didn't want to ruin her happiness by saying that there already could be trains, and that he was dead already. I didn't want to be so cruel.

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**Stupid trains ugh. **

**I feel sorry for Katniss though, don't you ?**

**Next chapter = ending this Peeta thing, in a positive or negative way. **

**What do ya think? Please let me know ;)**


	28. Never too late

We continued driving over that road for five minutes, but when it separated from the railway, we went into the berm and drove towards the railway again. There was a field of grass next to it, so we drove next to the steel of the railway, over the grass. At last it was a saver way to drive than on the railway, we just prove that.

Though after a while, the grass berm became smaller, and we were forced to get onto the rails again. Cato sighed, then turned the wheel to the left. There were two bumps and then we got up.

'It's still pretty far, isn't it?' He said.

'Are we even going to make it?' I frowned.

He shrugged. 'I hope so.'

'Then for fucks sake drive faster.' Katniss said, getting a little hyped up in the back of the car. I totally understood her, actually.

For a few seconds a sickening thought popped up in my head. What if this all was just a prank? These rails could be abandoned, though it would be a very awful person to prank someone like this. Only the thought about it made me mad. It couldn't be true, not that anyone was saying that it was true. But it are always your thoughts, what's killing you. Things are never what they seem like, so if this seemed like a kidnapping, it could be a prank, right?

Still I decided to shut my mouth, Katniss would mark me as crazy if I would say that on this moment. Cato would, well I don't know what he would do. Not that it mattered, I wasn't going to tell it anyways.

Again, time ticked by faster than we thought. And suddenly it became almost 4:30, 4:28 to be honest. And me and Katniss had already lost the hope. She looked down.

'Well, that's it. It's time, too late now. We can give up.'

'Nope.' Cato said. 'You don't know how close we are, I'm not stopping till we see a train.'

'Get followed again by a train, you mean.' Katniss rolled her eyes.

'Let's just say that the other train was a night train which started riding earlier. This train doesn't arrive at Peeta at exactly 4:30, that's just the time it started riding.' I told her.

The clock on my phone showed 4:30, and I sighed. It could be over, actually. I didn't even know what I was saying was right.

4:31,

4:32,

4:33.

Time went faster when you didn't wanted it to, which was pretty fucking this whole situation up. Stupid time. If it would be a person, I'd slap it in the face. Not that it would stop it, though I could hurt it as bad as it hurt me. It was literally _time_ for revenge.

But then my thoughts switched back to the situation we were in, and not imagining a fight with time anymore.

'See.' Cato gestured in front of the car, then stopped it on the railway. It was on a dike, so if you would get out the car a little too excited, you would fall into the water, that was for sure.

'Oh my god!' Katniss squealed, then threw open the door of the car and jumped out. She almost slipped down the hill, but got herself up and ran towards the front of the car, where Peeta lay! Actually I didn't have seen him yet, so it would be time for that now.

I slammed the door open too, only got out a little more cautious than Katniss. I didn't want to fall into the fucking water right now, wasn't really the moment for it. It was colder outside compared to inside the car, not that that was something to really care about, but we found Peeta.

I closed the door again, then shuffled through the dirt towards the front of the car. Katniss was already busy loosening knots.

I could see the happy, or more awkward expression on his face. Still the reason that he was laying here, was half because of the Katniss-Gale thing. Which I didn't tell Katniss about.

Cato threw a closed pocket knife to me, which I caught. It was the same one as I stole back then.

I didn't knew how he got it back, I never gave it back. Well, that didn't matter now.

I kneeled down next to Peeta, that was when I noticed how then tried to cut the ropes which Katniss wasn't able to loose. My hands were starting to hurt, when I realised that I had cut myself more than just one time. I wouldn't die from it, so kept on cutting the rope.

' Hurry up.' Cato said, looking to the right. I glanced over that place too, then saw that there were three lights again. No time to be scared, no time to freak out. I just had to cut the ropes.

'You really don't have to do this.' Peeta mumbled.

'Of course we have to.' Katniss said with tears in her eyes, loosening another knot. 'I love you, I really do.'

It hit me in a kind of way I couldn't describe.

Just like the train which could hit us in seconds.

I shook my head to not stop and stare at the yellow lights, and wanted to bow down to cut some more ropes, but Cato pulled me away.

I stumbled when I set my feet on the dirt again, almost slipped down if I didn't stop myself.

I heard Cato mumbling 'Eh, fuck.' Followed by the sound of a train riding past us. It was so much louder when you were actually standing next to it, one wrong move and you could be dead. I turned around, fast enough to see the glass splattering, then the car moving away from the railway, falling upside down into the water.

'Holy shit.' My eyes widened, not sure what I had just seen.

Then I realised that I could be dead by now, but I was still breathing. Still my heart was beating really fast.

'Yep, we're going to walk home.' He nodded when the train had passed by.

'Oh no.' I sighed, then glanced to the other side of the rails, where Katniss and Peeta were standing, hugging each other. Weird how I didn't thought about them when that train passed by.

It took me around a minute to calm myself down. And then it was completely silent, nobody made a noise, or even breathe. Though we weren't dead or something, just shocked. At that kind of moments I would be aware what I was doing, we were standing on a berm of a railway, in the middle of nowhere at 4:45 in the night. No car anymore, no transport. Just four living souls which were standing on a dike which was slippery because of the rain earlier today.

My eyes stitched around the place, no trains were coming now. The only thing I knew was that we stood on a dike, no city in sight, nothing to get off it.

'And now what?' I sighed.

'Good question.' Peeta mumbled.

'Why did it have to be us?' Katniss groaned. 'Couldn't there be just four other teenagers in this whole fucking world to get this problem, why us?'

I looked at Peeta, searching for an answer. 'Bad things happen too good people.' I said. 'Too good for this world, and then people try to kill you.'

**[A/N. Now put on: Never too late - Three days grace. (soundtrack of this chapter, hehe.)]**

'Can't we just live in a world of happiness and rainbows and shit like that?' She clenched her fists. 'What's the problem in this society, killing people just because they're good.'

'People want you to be good, but when you get better than them, they're getting jealous and start hating you, or killing you in this situation.' Cato told her.

'Not just in this situation.' I mumbled, thinking about the points-system at school and his upcoming death. That wasn't really fair either. Just because of that they couldn't handle the fact that what he was saying was true, they wanted to kill him. Stupid world.

I took a few steps to the direction where we came from, we used to drive back in Cato's car, but according to the fact that it was crashed and now half sinking in the water, it wasn't a option anymore.

'Come.' I said, slowly walking further. I was already tired before all this. My thoughts went back to the moment on which I just lay in my bed, and that Peeta called me instead of Katniss. And that was where it all began. The moment on which I was standing on the road, and didn't know where I should go anymore. And now, we made it. Just another prove that it's not too late to do something, it's never too late.

Still I couldn't call it a happy ending, we were wandering in I don't know where, without a car to drive back. And it was in the middle of the night, in the middle of a week. The situation was pretty fucked up, actually.

**[A/N: okay, now stop the song.] **

Surprisingly the others followed me, who the hell would follow me in a plan? You had to be pretty damn crazy to do that.

I began to wonder why my life couldn't just be normal, like other's lives. Just a family, I would just finish my school as they would tell me to. No complaining, I just should do what I had to do and just make friends and get a boyfriend and think about the future, just like everyone would do. But no, I had to go to a school which would kill my boyfriend. Maybe there wouldn't even be a future. So why should I even think about it?

Still I couldn't wait till I would just be back at home, laying in my bed all relaxed. I seriously could fall asleep any moment if I didn't force myself to walk further. Earlier this night I told myself that I could burst into tears when it was all over, that should be by now; we saved Peeta. But it wasn't over yet. I looked over the railway, it was a really long way to go, but ''once upon a time'' we would be there.

'I'm tired.' I groaned.

'Me too.' Katniss sighed dramatically. 'What a night, by the way.'

'Can we take a break?' Peeta said.

'No.' I shook my head, keeping walking forward. 'I want to go home.'

'Stopping will only make it harder to move on again.' Cato said, walking next to me. Katniss and Peeta were walking on the other side of the rails, for some reason I couldn't find the courage to step on it again, that was something I was never going to do again.

...

It took time, time and energy till we finally arrived at a train station. We kept walking till the very end next to the rails, knowing that we would go towards a train station which meant a city. My legs were sore by then, and my knees hurt because I fell three times stumbling over a stupid rock laying there in the berm. Still, I was very satisfied that we made it again. But still it wasn't over. We were now in a train station, but we weren't home.

We headed through the exit, and then sat down on a bench in front of the entrance of the building. It was more a relief that I could sit down now, and felt like I was never getting up again. What Cato said was true, once you stop it would be harder to move on. But now moving on for me was just a no-go.

'I'm going to call a taxi.' He said, according to the fact that there weren't buses already driving. Who would need one before 6 am, right? He grabbed his phone and ticked in the number what was standing on an information post.

Though the sun was already rising, lighting up the sky. Usually I would still lay in my bed right now, getting ready for school.

'What about school today?' Peeta said.

'We aren't going?' Cato frowned, hanging up the phone.

'We're getting in trouble if we are going to skip classes.' Peeta responded. Which was typically him, no matter what was going on, he just wanted to keep everything as normal as it could be. Then he looked at me. 'What are you going to do?'

I sighed, then decided to stick together with Cato. 'I'm not going too. I need my sleep.'

It was weird how he has been kidnapped, tied up on a railway and could be dead if we arrived a minute later; and he thought about going to school right now.

'That taxi is coming in forty-five minutes.' Cato rolled his eyes.

'What time is that kiosk opening?' I asked him, gesturing to a little food-store at the corner of the train station.

'I don't know.' He shrugged, sitting down next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder, still forcing myself to keep my eyes open. I couldn't fall asleep now, that would be awkward. I tried to forget about everything what happened this night, to not cry, because that would be embarrassing too right now. Why did I even got feelings if I was going to hide them anyways?

I tried to think about nothing but breakfast, that kiosk was better going to open soon.

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**When everything is wrong, just think about food, right? It's always there for you lol.**

**I got the idea from another story to use a soundtrack in a chapter, so I don't know if you guys liked that, let me know okay?**

**By the way, I'm really glad that the story reached over 50 reviews :) Thanks to you all for that.**

**And I'm happy that Peeta is still alive lol.**

**Have a nice day :).**


	29. Not my cup of tea

**Maybe it doesn't look like it at first sight, but this is a fucking important chapter.**

**Have fun readingggg. **

* * *

No ten minutes later a woman went towards the little food shop. I saw her opening the doors and immediately forced myself to get up. There was a black haze in front of my eyes when I got up, it felt like I was passing out. I just kept standing there till it faded away, it was probably because I just was tired.

That woman was probably someone who worked there, so I could finally get my food.

'I'm coming with you.' Cato said, standing up too.

Peeta and Katniss still sat down on the bench, probably they had to be alone for a while. Just to talk, to say important things which weren't said yet, and we didn't have to know everything. I was pretty sure that they had to tell each other a lot, especially about Gale. Indirectly he was almost the murderer in this case. It had to be weird when they would meet each other at school again. If not weird, it would be awkward or end up in a fight.

While we slowly walked towards the kiosk, I looked back at Katniss and Peeta. He was already looking my way, his eyes stitched around in a way like he didn't know what to do. Which actually was simple enough; just talk. But talking could be harder than I thought it was, there was probably a lot happened between then which I didn't knew about. They weren't my problems either, so I didn't have to fix them. Sometimes just nobody is able to help, and in this case I didn't know _how_ to help.

'You two are early.' The dark brown haired woman behind the desk said. Probably around forty years, filling in this part time job. She probably sat here every day from 6, I didn't really knew why it started this early. If we were early now, then she had probably not much costumers in the morning. And it didn't pay that much either, to just stand selling tea and coffee in a fucking kiosk.

I shook my head to skip the thoughts about this woman's life. I quickly nodded after it, not that she would think that I disagreed, we actually were early, that was a fact.

'You too.' I said.

'Coffee, tea?' She gestured at the coffee machine.

'Why always the coffee or tea thing, while there are a lot more things standing there on the pricelist?' Cato asked. He was probably just stalling, giving them some more time to talk.

'Like hot chocolate.' I filled in.

'You've got coffee-people, and tea-people.' She said. 'Usually tea people are calmer than coffee people, who probably need the energy of it.'

'And who are more important, tea- or coffee-people?' I asked. If she had got more fun-facts about tea and coffee, she probably was able to answer this question.

'What is more important?' She asked me. 'The right wing of a bird, or the left wing?'

It left me silent for a few seconds, making her smile a bit. This brown haired, mid forty years old woman, which was selling tea and coffee in a kiosk for a minimum wage, was smarter than I thought.

But after a while I sighed. 'If they aren't equal, you literally fall down.'

'Exactly.' She nodded. 'Now, do you want tea of coffee?'

It was such a simple question, but for me it felt now like a decision depending on your life. Like I had to join the group of tea-people, which were calm. While the coffee-people made me think of these hard-working people in offices. Maybe there had to be a balance between them, and that would form the best economy situation. This woman left a confusion in my head like a fortune-teller would. And this all about the decision what I would like to drink; tea or coffee.

'Tea.' I answered after a while. She already noticed that I was thinking very long, but her pale blue eyes looked at Cato after I answered.

'Coffee.' He said. Maybe he just needed the energy, or maybe he wanted to answer the opposite as me. Which was weird, because we usually would answer the same thing because we almost thought the same. Coffee-people were in my head more like hard working people which were smart enough to work their job, while tea-people were smarter in thinking itself. I couldn't even imagine a Cato who would work on an office, actually.

'May I ask you why?' She asked him.

'Because she said tea.' He grinned.

I patted him on his arm. 'We're in balance.' I said, almost sounding like a totally focused on religion person, while I was actually thinking about fucking tea right now.

'You don't find couples who are in balance really often these days.' She shook her head.

'Are you a love expert or something.' I chuckled.

'I am a tea-expert. That's almost the same thing.' Whispered the woman.

'It's like a new way to judge people; depending on whether they like coffee or tea.' I said.

'I don't have something to do all day okay, selling coffee or tea. I would like to improve my judgements.' She shrugged. 'And if that machine isn't in balance between coffee or hot water, it just doesn't work anymore.'

'That awkward moment when you learn more from a coffee-machine than in a year at school.' Cato said.

'It would be more useful if school thought you all how to think instead of what to think.' She said, filling the two cups underneath the coffee-machine. 'School won't ever learn you a life lesson.'

'School wasn't my cup of tea, uh- or coffee, anyways.' Cato said.

Probably according to their system.

I nodded.

She laughed, but then asked. 'Only the coffee and tea?'

I quickly grabbed a two pack of sandwiches from underneath the desk, in a cooling thing.

'You two can have it for free.'

I wanted to be nice, to have manners but I couldn't say no free things. I wasn't a good person, I really wasn't.

'Have a nice day.' I said, faking a smile. Cato grabbed the things, then we walked away. Suddenly I regret that we didn't gave her the money anyways.

'Well that was weird.' He said while we walked back to the place where Peeta and Katniss were sitting. I glanced over them, and noticed that they were hugging each other. The time saving thing apparently worked, in the beginning I couldn't say that they were going to fix their things. Never thought that this night would be so awful, but then does have a kind of happy ending.

'So that happens when you are busy with tea and coffee a little too much.' I mumbled. 'You go crazy about the decision between the both of them.'

'Same thing with sandwiches.' He shrugged, holding up the two pack. 'To eat or not to eat.'

I laughed

'You two have talked almost an half hour with that woman behind the desk.' Peeta said, then gestured at the shining black car in front of them. 'The taxi is waiting.'

'Oh.' I said, heading to the car. Never thought that just getting tea and a sandwich would take half an hour. I just went with the conversation like I couldn't control it. Go with the flow, they always said. I couldn't control my thoughts, it was weird.

'No eating in the taxi.' The chauffeur looked at the pack of sandwiches, but avoiding any eye contact with Cato. 'No drinking too.'

Someone might have had an bad morning, I thought. I simply nodded, then opened up the car door and sat on the seat. I shove myself into the middle, making place for Cato on the left, and whoever wanted to sit on the right. Which turned out to be Katniss. Peeta sat down next to the chauffeur, in front of Katniss.

The car smelled new, which actually made me nauseous. I never liked the smell of cars. The man kicked the gas pedal, and drove away quickly. I looked at Cato, who looked back at me. I gave him the typical what-the-fuck-is-going-on look, according to the reckless driving skills of this man. He just shrugged.

We drove in that car for like twenty minutes. We probably wandered further into the nowhere than I thought we were. I sneakily took sips of my tea before it got cold, and surprisingly after twenty minutes, it was still warm enough. Not much longer I drank the whole thing, and held the empty cup in my right hand, not dropping it. Then the chauffeur would notice. I laid my head on Cato's shoulder, because I was so damn tired. I closed my eyes for a while, and had the feeling that I was drifting away.

I didn't know how long I had kept them closed, but after a while I had to force them open. I only became more tired by drinking it for some reason, which didn't made sense at all. The first thing my eye caught was a white dossier in the back of the driver's seat, I only could read the title. 'Mission 4.'

It wasn't a number like 24 or 666, not very attention seeking. Still I wanted to know why there was a dossier reading mission four in a driver's seat. I acted like I wanted to tie my shoelaces, so I bow down. Every movement went slower and harder to make, I didn't know why but it just happened. Maybe because I was so tired. Though I didn't tie the shoelaces of my sneakers, I quietly grabbed the paper dossier.

I laid it down on Cato's lap instead of mine, the chauffeur would see it if I did that. Not that he would mind, I guess. But for me it wasn't normal to find a dossier with a mission on it, in the driver's seat of a taxi. Something wasn't right here. I immediately recognized that my heartbeat went faster when I turned the page.

**Step 1. After Julia called you, wait for their call. Say it would take 45 minutes.**

It took a while for it was clear to me, that these 45 minutes were the same time as the taxi had to arrive in.

I continued reading the next step. Whoever this dossier was from, would make it really, really easy.

**Step 2. Make sure they sit in the following formation.**

There was a plan underneath it, with the seats of the car. Peeta next to the driver, Katniss on the right, me in the middle, Cato on the left. Exactly how we were sitting right now, how did it even know our names? This was anything but right.

My heart skipped a beat when I read the next step.

**Step 3. Crash the car into the blue bus, driving next to Panem High. Make it look an accident.**

* * *

**I told you it was important!**

**Though a lot about tea and coffee...**

**This dossier speaks for itself, right? Think twice now, what the heck is going on here?**

**And now I would like to ask all of you to review what you think is going on here. ;)**


	30. One big conspiracy

**First of all; it's may 7th. **

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEXANDER LUDWIG :D**

**Just to remind you that this is a really important day in the history of earth okay.**

**Now; have fun reading.**

* * *

I stared with open mouth at the paper, winked several times just to know that it was real what was standing there. We were going to die. I didn't want to die yet, I was too young! Though I finally understood how Cato had to feel all the time. Earlier this day I was almost dead because of the train too, but in that case I would be okay with it. Then it was just a an real accident, my own damn fault. That's living, you risk your life. You can die anytime, anywhere.

But now we were stuck in a car, which was driving us to death. It was something we couldn't just get off. Not making own choices anymore, because there were no to make. Was this how it all would end? I didn't have the control of my existence anymore, my life wasn't in my hands anymore. No, my death was in the one of the driver.

I slapped Cato on his arm, making him waking up from that half-sleep too. I didn't want to die, I wouldn't die. Car crash or not, I would survive. This wouldn't be the end, it was just not the moment. Thought, if we wouldn't survive, at least we would die together.

I could try to ignore it, but I was afraid. I was fucking scared of dying. But screaming or crying wouldn't help me out, it was no use. I elbowed Cato again, which did make him look up this time. 'What?' He said annoyed. I quietly tapped on the paper, not too loud because the driver would notice it. If he hadn't noticed my acting already, that would be embarrassing.

It took a few seconds before he accepted what was standing on the paper.

'Oh fuck,' He mouthed when he had read the three steps. Was this a time for the by me feared Goodbye? I swallowed, the way he said it meant that there was something else to say.

'Sandwich.'

Sandwich, seriously. Was that all he had to say, or just his version of a goodbye?

He opened the package.

'You can't eat in he-' I cut off my own sentence. Of course, we couldn't eat in here. It was a rule, it was a limit. And limits are meant to be crossed. Maybe if there was no way to stop the chauffeur, then had to be a way to get out. We had to escape out of this car.

'Sandwich fight, bitch.' I said, everyone was able to hear it. Including the car driver. Peeta and Katniss were still half sleeping. I grabbed one of the sandwiches and hit Cato with it. I saw a tomato flying through the air, landing on the side of the driver's seat. Great. He hit me back with the other sandwich, and so did I.

Ended up in a lettuce flying, tomato smashing, sandwich fight which was our way to escape from the death, we were pretty damn weird. But you would do anything to stay alive, right?

'Hey, stop that.' The man said, his voice sounding soulless like before. 'I said no eating!'

But we didn't. Well, I wanted to, who knew if that man had got a pistol or something. If he was rude enough to kill us in a car crash, making it look like an accident. Car crash and accident, nothing more than bittersweet lies to cover the death of Cato's brother. Maybe it was something of his generation, dying in fake car crashes. Though I wasn't the one who crashed the car, not this time. I felt my hate getting stronger when I realised that this was the school once again.

Panem High, the apple of parent's eyes, had a really rotten core inside. It wasn't a school, it was a prison. And we were all prisoners. No, it was worse, even a prison would be better. At least you could talk there, here it was only silence in the end. We never had a chance to speak up what really was on our minds, all because of that stupid conspiracy, and now there was another conspiracy. And I was one of the small group of victims.

'Stop doing that!' Peeta said, grabbing the sandwich out of my hand. 'That's not nice for the bread, it has feelings too okay!'

Well that little action of him could kill us all, which wasn't very nice either. My heart was beating like hell, afraid of that it was over.

But I took a breath, then smiled sarcastically at Cato. 'Then this has to end fist to fist.'

'Fine.' He said.

I was the one who attacked first. The aggression was fake, the idea of it was fake, but pain was real. Though we tried to not really hurt each other. It was literally a fight for life. I would never want to get into a fight with him, but this time it was just necessary.

'That's enough.' The chauffeur yelled now. 'Get out!'

He abrupt stopped the car, making me fall in between of the two front seats, between him and Peeta. My back landed right on the gear lever, leaving a stinging pain between my shoulder blades. Ironic how the moment we were actually saved, hurt more than the fight itself.

...

Cato pushed open the car door, and pulled me with him out of the car. Thanks god that Katniss and Peeta headed out too. Otherwise they were the ones who were going to die. Death became such an easy word after I came here in district 14. So was killing and dying, but if I would really think about the death itself. With funerals and crying people and roses which weren't meant for valentine's day but for the one on which you died, the white ones. The thought about it did really hurt me. No matter how easy the word became to speak, to write or whatever you wanted to do with a few letters; the consequences stayed the same. The death was an awful thing.

I stumbled on the road, then looked up instead of down. Looking down wouldn't make you recognize something, but at this moment I wished I had just looked down. We were standing right in front of Panem High. I was confused, so fucking confused. This was going to be the street on which we were going to die. Highway to hell, and the school was the headquarter. There was no blue bus in sight.

A lot of teenagers were already hanging around on the school's territory. Though I didn't felt like going to school even though we were standing in front of it. Peeta did probably thought about going to school, so Cato talked to him and Katniss for a moment.

'Don't you even dare about going inside.' Cato said. 'Both of you, go home and stay together.'

He sounded pretty imitating in one kind of way, though he never had told me something in that way. But he was just trying to help them staying alive. Not that I knew anything at the moment, I was too confused to even breathe. I realised that I wasn't breathing at all, so I started doing it while thinking about it. I would need oxygen to live, of course.

Then he looked at me, and just said it as simply possible. 'Run.'

I sighed, I was tired. So damn tired. The whole night we had been up, searching Peeta, then I almost died from that train. We had to walk back, so my legs were sore. We couldn't rest for one fucking minute, and now I had to run away from the school again. I tried to get over my thoughts, and forced my legs to run. Though every step took so much energy.

A little too much had happened this night, and I was so confused that I didn't even get what I was confused about, like in math. I just thought that it was over after we stood there at the train station, with that weird woman talking about coffee and tea. But things weren't like they seemed like; and it only got worse. I promised myself that I could break down when it was all over. But it was not over yet, it was never stopping.

We ran around the corner, and stopped there to breathe normal again.

'What the fuck is going on here?' I shook my head.

'I have no fucking idea.' He said. 'But this isn't good, I can tell you.'

'What are we going to do?' I shrugged.

'Eh, go home or something. I bet you need sleep.'

'You think I can sleep while this thing is going on?' I frowned.

'At least try, I don't think your parents are going to like me very much when I stay at your house.' He sighed.

'Then I'm coming with you.' I said.

'Uh okay.' He said, then we took another road which didn't lead to my house, but to his' .

I really needed to get this whole conspiracy straight, if it was a conspiracy. It was a mission, and not the first, but the fourth. There was something before this what would be important too, but what was even more important was what the fifth mission would be. Although I didn't get it anymore, because of the fact that in the dossier was written that we were going to get into a car crash in front of the school, which looked like an accident. But we got out of the car in front of the school, and I didn't saw that blue car anywhere. I guess that the mission just failed.

...

Once we arrived at Cato's house, taking the back door. The backyard still reminded me of that first day, where I still used to hate him. And look at us now, seriously nothing was what it seemed like. Again the dog walked around in the garden, and probably recognized me because it started barking.

'Keep that thing away from me.' I gestured at the dog.

'He won't attack you.' Cato grinned.

I followed him towards the door, then walked inside the house.

I looked around, nobody was in the room. According of the fact that there were no cars parked in front of the house probably meant that there was nobody home. Well, Cato's car used to be parked now if it didn't crashed there by the train.

And then I saw it happening again, Peeta tied up on the railway. When suddenly a train raced by and I almost stood in front of it if Cato didn't pull me away. God I hated flashbacks. I hopped down on the sofa, grabbed a pillow and buried my face in it and just cried quietly. I didn't want to look really pathetic, so I tried to hold everything in the whole time. But I just couldn't do it anymore. The thought about that it wasn't over yet only made it worse. There was so much to happen, and I didn't look really forward to these moments.

I wiped away my tears, and tried to convince myself that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. But actually it didn't. I almost died twice today, and it only brings you down more and more, how the hell was it able to make me stronger?

I grabbed the pillow and threw it to the other side of the sofa. Maybe it could be something if I just change my confused feelings into aggression. Never thought that I could think that, back in district two I was always the calm girl which never got into a fight or something. But since I came here a lot of things changed me.

'So,' Cato said, sitting down next to me. 'What the fuck is going on?'

'It's just one big conspiracy of Panem High.' I said.

'The school didn't do anything wrong, you can blame it on principal Snow.' He responded.

'Whatever, what about that dossier?' I shrugged. 'I don't get this whole thing.'

'I'm not saying it is true, but I think that that woman behind the desk in the kiosk is one of them too.' He told me.

That could be true, actually. Cato first tried to get some time, so Peeta and Katniss would be able to talk some more. But after a while that woman had talked to us for half an hour. She was stalling too, if we would talk till the taxi arrived, we wouldn't be able to change our minds. Though she abruptly stopped the conversation, and gave us our things for free when the taxi arrived.

'She knew all about it, didn't she?' I nodded, staring out of the window. 'I think we can blame Snow too for kidnapping Peeta.'

'Why do you think that?' He frowned.

'This was mission four, that means that there were three missions before this one. The weekend thing, when they kidnapped him and knew he was going to say that he was better off dead although I don't know how they knew that. And third; The fact that we would save him.'

'God damn why are they always one step before us?' He sighed. 'They did everything on purpose. Every single thing.'

'But why would they let their mission fail on purpose. Then that's clear to me too. That woman gave us the things for free, so we could have a thing to escape out of the car. That dossier was right in front of us, so we were almost supposed to know about this. Isn't that weird?'

'It isn't.' He shook his head. 'They're not planning a mission five, but a whole new thing. This was probably just to mess us up.'

This would explain every single thing that happened. Peeta's kidnapping, but there was a real train there which really could kill him. The fact that we saved him and the train crashed Cato's car. There was no other place to park that thing, only the railway. They knew we had to walk back, and only had two directions to go.

'I think that they placed someone in the kiosk in that other train station too.' I said.

'Which one?'

'If we had walked the other way, just to make sure that their plan wasn't going to fail.'

'They're sneaky. And I fucking hate that.' He sighed.

But failing a mission on purpose was weird, really weird. Maybe they were planning something bigger, but it didn't matter how fast we were thinking about what that thing could be. They were always one step before us, no matter what we would do.

Things weren't what they seemed like, and when you accepted that and thought the other way; you were wrong again.

And that's life; we were after the facts the whole time.

A whole kidnapping plan just to distract us, it was sick. Though it did worked, we were stupid. So damn stupid.

Maybe their plan didn't failed completely.

* * *

**Uh oh.. personally i really hate principal Snow. Don't you all?**

**This chapter wasn't really good i think, but I'm sure it gave you some hints ;)**

**Got some idea's for the story? I'd love to hear them.**

**Byebyeee. **


	31. Love takes over

'Okay this all confuses me so fucking much.' I sighed. I had to think so much that my head started to hurt.

'Well yeah, it is weird.' He said.

'Why would they even do this?'

'They want to break you.' He nodded, then looked at me. 'But you're new here. The time in the beginning is the hardest, just move on.'

'What do you mean move on? They're going to kill us!' I almost yelled.

He grabbed one of the pillow and threw it at me. 'Shut up.' He grinned.

I caught the pillow and threw it back. 'Don't tell me to shut up.'

'They are not going to kill you, you haven't done anything wrong.' He told me.

'Then why the hell are they kidnapping my friends?'

'Okay, you may have done a few things, but compared to others on the list it's nothing.' He sighed. 'Did you already know that one of the eight students at Panem High tries to commit suicide?'

'One out of eight?' My mouth fell open. 'That's pretty damn much.'

'4 out of 5 is dead after it, that other one changed its mind or failed the commit.'

'How do you even know this? It doesn't seem like something they want to share with us.'

'In the previous years, Marvel started counting them, he's so weird.' He said. 'They want you to kill yourself so they don't have to do it. They start pushing you, breaking you. Till that point that you can't take it anymore.'

'That's insane!' I squealed. 'And they just get away with this?'

'Yup they do. Already regretting the choice of your school?'

No, actually I didn't. I totally hated Panem High, I would do anything to go to another. But if I didn't went here, I never met Cato. Not that I liked him very much in the beginning, but now I do. The amount of people killing themselves was really high here, if we would take Katniss, Peeta, Annie, Finnick, Jackie, Thresh, Cato and me, one of us should attempt suicide. It was terrible, though I wouldn't see one of us doing it. We were all pretty happy and shit, not depressed or something. Stupid school, why would it try to break you so much that you want to die? It was sick, really sick.

I didn't answer the question, because I didn't have an answer. It was like a double sided question like the coffee and tea thing, a coffee person would never like the answer of tea. I shouldn't think about what that woman said anymore, we couldn't trust her and we did. She was a part of the conspiracy too, and because of that Cato said that school wasn't his cup of tea anyways, that could be pretty lethal in the eyes of the school. She seemed so nice and smart in a way, I almost felt sorry for her job from 6 am in the fucking morning. But it wasn't what it looked like. Nowadays we really could trust nobody!

'How do I even know I can trust you?' I frowned.

'Not again.' He rolled his eyes. 'We already passed this thing, right?'

'No, I'm serious; I really don't know who to trust anymore.' I sighed.

'Now you think that I am one of them too?' He spat.

'You could be one?' I shrugged. 'Since that first day I would understand you if you'd hate me, and I would be fine with it. Maybe you just want revenge or something.'

He just laughed. 'If I wanted revenge; then why the hell would I tell you all this? If you would tell someone else that I told you that, it would mean my death, don't you understand?'

'Actually, no I don't get it.' I shook my head. 'Why do you-'

Cut off by a kiss, which was actually a better way to cut me off instead of throwing a pillow to my head. Again, it lasted longer than I thought it would. So I closed my eyes and just went with it. Still I had the feeling that we were only together for a reason which wasn't like other couples were. I couldn't say he was using me, because he just wasn't. Love was just weird.

'Oh, and it's better that you won't tell Katniss and Peeta about what is really going on with that school thing.' He pulled back.

'Why?' I frowned.

'I don't know, just don't tell them.'

Maybe he had a point, they didn't see the dossier with mission four on it anyways, they didn't know anything yet. This news would scare people to hell, and I'd like to minimize the causalities too. Peeta even grabbed the sandwich out of my hand, I never knew what the thing was between him and bread, but it was kind of weird to me.

'Okay.' I shrugged.

He got up from the sofa, and headed towards the stairs. I realised that I actually never been there, upstairs. I wouldn't ever forget that day, that I came here to watch football with my dad, and turned out to be so damn awkward that I ran away. I didn't even want to know what the fuck Cato thought of me in that moment, I guess I was just known as the weird girl who ran away.

'You coming?' He waited for me, standing on the first step of the stairs. I nodded, got up and walked upstairs behind him. I glanced around myself, nope never been here before. We headed to his room. He closed the curtains, leaving it a bit darker inside the room. I couldn't sleep with lights on anyways, natural sunlight or lamps; light was light. I hopped down on the bed, if we could sleep together in one sleeping bag, then in one bed would be so much easier.

I realised that it might be a little too warm to sleep in a sweater and sweatpants,_ and_ underneath the sheets. And because of the fact that I couldn't sleep without a blanket, even in the summer, I decided to choose for the sheets instead of my clothes. Though I hesitated a bit to just drop down my clothes, that would be actually pretty embarrassing. I tried to put on my I-don't-care-about-anything mood, and just did it.

After I left myself in just my underwear, I rushed towards the bed and pulled the sheets over me. Cato laughed at my weird acting, but then got in the bed too, lying next to me.

I told myself that I shouldn't focus on the whole school-killing conspiracy, and just on my social life. That I just should think about whatever a normal teenager would think, not gain these points anymore and just follow the law in a normal day. Do what everyone around me would do; okay of course we would start a riot once, somewhere. But that is just what we do.

I wanted to grab my phone, to check messages. But I didn't and just laid it down on the desk next to the bed. I would check them after I had got some sleep. So I just turned myself around, snuggled into the pillow and closed my eyes. I was tired, so damn tired, my legs were sore and felt so heavy now. But what was this? Couldn't I sleep, seriously? I had to sleep, I was tired.

Cato put his arm around my waist. My heart started beating faster like I was getting nervous or something. I would almost beg it to just beat in its normal pace, but it just didn't.

'What's wrong, Clover?' He mumbled.

'Nothing?' I answered. 'I-I just can't sleep I guess.'

'Because of what?' He asked me.

'You,' I said, turning around facing him. 'But that's okay, you're my favourite reason to lose my sleep.'

He shook his head smiling. 'Just go to sleep, I won't bother you any longer.'

'You never did.' I said, getting a bit closer to him. God damn I wanted my heart to just beat normal and not so pathetic fast. I was so tired, and I wanted to sleep but I just couldn't. I lay on my back, staring at the white ceiling when I suddenly felt his lips touching my neck, leaving a tinkling feeling there. I turned my head to him and kissed him back.

I rested my head on his chest Instead of the pillow, and closed my eyes again.

'Now just sleep, okay?' He said while stroking my back. 'You girls are bitches when you don't get enough sleep.'

'I'm trying.' I mumbled.

And it took me some damn time, but suddenly I drifted off to a long, but restless sleep.

...

I winked a few times, facing the desk. No idea what time it was. Then noticed that he was lying a little too close to me, touching my butt and stuff like that.

So I pushed him away. 'Go to your damn side.' I groaned.

I heard a dull noise, then decided to look up what happened. I realised that there was no other side, when he stood up from the floor.

'Oops,' I chuckled. 'Sorry.'

'Like I said; you girls _are _bitches when you get less sleep.' He shook his head, then got in the bed again.

'So now you're calling me a bitch.' I sat up and tried to look at him angrily, but it didn't work out like I wanted because I couldn't hold my laugh.

He pulled me literally on top of him. 'You wanted to say that you aren't one?' He frowned.

'Good morning to you too.' I mumbled sarcastically, then kissed him on his cheek.

'I already woke up on the floor,' He rolled his eyes. 'And it's afternoon, not morning.'

'Really?' My eyes widened. 'What time is it?'

'Four pm.' He answered.

'Then how the hell am I still tired?'

'Bitches need more sleep.' He said. 'But I do love this bitch.'

'Stop calling me a bitch, I'm a good fucking person, remember?' I chuckled.

'Oh yeah of course.' He gestured at the floor.

I sat up, wanted to grab my phone from the desk. But I couldn't reach the damn thing and I didn't want to get up. The struggle of being small. 'Ugh.' I mumbled, and did get up to grab it.

_**14 missed calls from: Mom. 3 New messages in two conversations. **_

I stared at the screen, that fourteen cracked me up. 'That's it, I'm dead.' I said. 'It was nice to know you.'

'What's wrong?' He laughed.

'My mom called me fourteen times, she's going to kill me if I get back!'

'Yup you're dead.' He shook his head.

'I need to get home I guess.' I bit my lip. 'I don't want to go home.'

'Then just don't?' He frowned.

'If I stay here it only gets worse.' I nodded.

I groaned, then got out of the bed and walked through the door.

'Uh, Clove?' He said.

I turned around. 'What?'

'You aren't going to tell me that you're going to walk over the street in your bra, plus my parents are downstairs and I don't want to die too.'

I blushed, quickly headed inside the room again and put on my sweater and sweatpants. How could I be so fucking stupid to forget my damn clothes.

Cato followed me till the front door downstairs. 'Bye babe.' He said.

'Bye.' I told him, stood on my toes to kiss him goodbye. Then I walked through the door, and headed off the path which leaded towards the street.

I turned around one last time. 'I call you if I'm still alive, okay?'

'Okay.' He laughed.

I looked in front of me again, and walked down the street.

My legs weren't as sore as yesterday, but still did hurt. But the pain in my back, from the gear shift, took over every other feeling in my body. I knew that me and Cato might have had some arguments the last time, but I even loved him more after it. I didn't knew why, actually, but it just was this way and I wouldn't regret any single thing from this falling-in-love progress.

I decided to check these three messages, instead of calling my mom back. She was going to yell at me anyways, and fights via phones weren't always that good in the ending.

_[Katniss] 10:34: Why the fuck were you throwing a sandwich fight in that car?_

_**16:36: Food fights are always fun, right? :) **_

_[Jackie] 13:32: Where were you today? You seriously missed a lot!_

_[Jackie] 14:24: Thresh asked me on a date. I swear to god I've never expected that._

_**16:37: Whoa, really?! What did you say?**_

_[Jackie] 16:38: Yesss. But would it be weird if we were a couple? _

_**16:38: No, that's cute.**_

_**16:38: Where are you going?**_

_[Jackie] 16:39: I don't know, but I am nervous okay._

_**16:39: No need to, Hahaha. **_

Even though these times in which friends have been kidnapped, children attempt suicide because of the school, love was always taking over. Plus, at my first day Jackie told me that I should get a boyfriend, so I was so happy for her now.

* * *

**Nawww. Shipping moments, here you go. xd**

**Hope you liked this chapter, let me know your ideas for the next ones. **

**Because this story isn't over yet O.o ITS NEVER OVER. *evil laugh***

**Sorry i'm a weird human being. **

**Have a nice day :)**


	32. Home sweet home?

'Clove Kentwell,' My mom yelled, grabbing my arm and pulled me through the door. 'I think you have a lot to explain.'

I almost stumbled over her purse which lied on the floor. I glanced over the room, Alyssa was drawing something behind the table, Shane wasn't in sight and my dad was just sitting on the sofa, watching a baseball game on tv.

'Uh, what do I have to explain?' I asked her.

'You walked away at 1 am, and didn't come back. Where have you been?' She still raised her voice. 'I called you fourteen times!'

Telling her that I was saving a friend who was tied down on a railway because of the school, she wouldn't even believe it so absurd it was.

'I was just at Cato's house, okay.' I told her as calm possible.

'That only makes it worse!' She squealed. 'Wait, you've _slept_ there?'

'Just let her be.' My dad said, thanks god he was on my side. 'And would you mind talking a little more quiet?'

'Shut your mouth.' She hissed, then looked at me in a way she never did before. Full of disgust and distrust. 'Are you even still a virgin?'

'Mom!?' I yelled back. What the fuck was that for question.

'That's it.' She shook her head. 'You're grounded.'

I could live with that, actually. But I squeezed my skin to check if it was just a dream, or just a nightmare I wanted to wake up from. But the pain was real. The pain was always real, no matter how fake something was, pain couldn't be fake.

'And you are _never_ seeing that boy again.' She smiled sarcastically to make it just hurt a little more. What the fuck was wrong with people, liking to hurt others. Though her punishment didn't made sense at all. Even if we had sex or something, now never seeing him again and breaking up would only make it worse. Seriously how stupid could she be.

'Go ahead, go and tell me what to do.' I said, louder than I thought I spoke. 'Go on trying to ruin my relationship. But I really don't give a damn about what you think, I'm doing this for me, not for the rest of the damn world who are going to judge me anyways. You're just jealous that I have got a better relation than you and dad!'

'Gone too far.' She hissed, trying to hide her anger. But she couldn't hold it in anymore and started screaming. 'Go to you room.'

My mother quickly stepped towards Lotus, her heels clicking on the wooden floor which was annoying as hell. Who the fuck would wear high heels at home. She grabbed Lotus' drawing and shredded it. My sister started crying. I clenched my fists, just because she might be mad at me, didn't meant she could just act like this towards others.

...

I doubted no longer and pushed her away, grabbed my sister's arm and walked with her upstairs, towards my room.

I shut the door behind me, and locked it. I rested my back against the door, looking up to the white ceiling. Why did she have to make a problem out of nowhere?

Lotus sat down on my bed, so I went sitting next to her. Just to comfort her a little, who knew what happened here when I was gone. My mom and dad were arguing almost all the time since we got here, I don't know what about, but this was serious shit.

I gave her a pillow to cry on, what she did took advantage of. The little girl was only 10 years old, and with a sister of sixteen, also known as me. And a brother of 18, leaving her the youngest. Two parents who are arguing almost all the time, nope she didn't have an easy growing up here. Still her life was a lot easier now compared to me and Shane's, with that whole conspiracy thing. She probably didn't even know what a conspiracy was.

But that is the thing when you become a teenager, you start opening up your eyes. And then you see that the world isn't wonderland, that your life isn't written as a fairy-tale, also known as the lies they make you believe as a kid.

'Why are they always talking like that?' She said in between of her sobbing.

'Grownups just have a grumpy, harsh, negative attitude.' I said. 'They're just jealous of us because we are still young and they aren't.'

I didn't even knew what I was saying, but I had to tell her something.

'They're not nice to me either.' She looked down, making a teardrop fall on her jeans. It left a dark blue dot on it. 'All of those big people are mean.'

'They want to take from you whatever they can't have themselves. Which is basically everything good inside of you.' I said, poking her in her belly. 'The happiness, the joy; everything good. And once they took that away, they leave you in a negative mood. And you should never let anyone take away your happiness.'

'But they can't have it themselves, even if they take mine away. It's just because of their jealousy, they want me to lose it too. So it's equal again.' She nodded.

Did she seriously said that? Never heard a kid from 10 years old say something so clearly. Maybe my sister was smarter than I expected.

'And then the world becomes a living hell, because everyone is taking away other's happiness. It just disappeared.' She said.

'That's true.' I nodded. 'So no matter what people make you feel, think, or do. Never let anyone take away your happiness. Do you understand?'

The little girl nodded, making her two pigtails flapping around.

Someone knocked on the door, making me a little nervous. What if it was my mom? She probably was still mad.

'It's just me.' Shane said. 'Open the fucking door.'

I rolled my eyes, then got up from the bed and unlocked the door. He opened once I hopped on the bed again, sitting cross-legged. I looked at him, waiting for whatever he had to say.

'What the fuck happened downstairs?' He asked me, then looked at Lotus. 'Is she okay?'

He sat down on my bed too, next to my little sister and slowly rubbed her back to comfort her.

'Mom got mad at me.' I shrugged. 'And now she wants to ruin my relation, the bitch.'

'What relationship?' He frowned.

'Do you know Cato?' I asked him.

'Who doesn't?' He grinned.

'Yep, him.' I nodded.

'No fucking way.' He laughed, then buried his face in his hands to hide it.

'Well I just don't think that it's fair to just ruin everything for me.' I said. 'She's just jealous of me, having a better relationship in five days than she in the whole fucking marriage.'

'You told her that?' He raised his eyebrow.

I nodded.

'That isn't that smart, no wonder why they're mad.'

'Dad isn't mad, only mom is.' I said.

'They're arguing really much the last few days, aren't they?'

'Yeah. Though I have no idea what about.'

'Just let them, they'll fix it later.' Shane said, Lotus probably thought everything was okay again, and walked out of my room, on her way to hers.

'But this shouldn't affect Lotus.' Shane finished his sentence. 'We can handle with it, but she is just younger.'

I nodded, it was true. Still I had always seen our family as one big happy family, but it clearly wasn't . Things may not look that bad at first sight, but it was way worse than I expected. The first day that I came here in the new house, I did felt a weird feeling. Maybe because it just didn't felt like home, obviously not a ''home sweet home'' to me. But that wasn't a reason for my parents who bought this house, to just act like this all the time. They were arguing, and I started feeling like they could blame me for it. I knew that it wasn't my fault, but still. They could tell me what to do, keep me home for a half fucking year; but they weren't able to tell me who I should love or not. No one is messing with my relationship, that was for damn sure.

'Though you are my little sis' too.' Shane patted me on the head, then got up from the bed and walked out of my room, not shutting the door behind himself. I rolled my eyes, and closed the door myself, I just hated it when it was wide open.

...

I sighed and let myself fall on the bed, my face in the pillow made it harder to breathe. But I don't felt like getting up so I just laid like that. Who would need oxygen to live, right?

After half an hour, I did make up my mind and ended up lying on my back, looking through the door. I still heard my parent's voices arguing downstairs, yelling at each other the whole damn time. The sun was shining bright outside, and I was just stuck in my room, getting hungry. Though I didn't felt like going downstairs, just to get some food. It was like entering a battlefield there, an open field where you get your stuff and just run away to not die.

Maybe that whole Hunger Games thing was similar to that, but they wouldn't kill people in a thing like that. My thoughts were weird. Probably it was just an eating competition, that would make the whole name clear to me. ''Hunger'' for the hunger part, hungry for food? ''Games'' for the announcement that it's just a game, and people shouldn't take it that serious.

I grabbed my phone once I reminded myself that I should call Cato if I was ''still alive.'' But first I saw a few messages, and texted them back.

_[Finnick] 18:12: Hey, Katniss, Peeta, Annie and me are going to the beach in an hour. It's warmer outside than you think, do you wanna come with us? _

_**18:35: Sure, I really need to break free or something. Can I invite Cato too?**_

_[Finnick] 18:36: Grounded? Hahaha. Yeah sure, Jackie and Thresh aren't coming anyways, they're dating :')._

_**18:36: I know right :'). Where do we meet? **_

_[Finnick] 18:37: At Peeta's house, you know where that is?_

_**18:37: Nope.**_

_[Finnick] 18:38: Mellark's Bakery? Does that say something to you?_

_**18:38: Is that theirs? Hahaha! This explains a lot to me. But okay, see you guys soon. **_

This made the thing between Peeta and bread a lot more clear to me. But the fact that they were leaving in an hour when Finnick texted me in the beginning, I had to hurry now!

Grounded or not, I wanted to leave this prison which was clearly _not_ a home-sweet-home to me. I already knew that I had to leave the house through the window instead of a door, which was a new way to break free to me.

* * *

**I really hate Clove's parents haha. Don't you all feel the same?**

**Though we are going to break freeeee . **

**The relationship between Peeta and Bread, why don't we ship them?**

**Good shipping name, anyone? ^^**

**Well, have a good day. Adiosss (:**


	33. Crushed waves

''And? Are you still alive?'' I heard Cato saying through the phone.

''Half alive, half dead. Does that sounds clear to you?'' I answered.

''Nope.'' He said.

''Whatever, Finnick asked me if we wanted to go to the beach too?'' I told him. ''I seriously need to get out of this house.''

''Then break free, bitch.'' He grinned. ''And yes, I'm coming too.''

''How do I even get out?'' I asked.

''Never done before?'' I heard him laughing. ''I don't know how it's at your house, but I recommend just getting out of the window, walking on the roof and climb down via a drainpipe.''

''You _recommend_ it?'' I laughed. ''Am I talking to an expert or something?''

''Hell yes.'' He said. ''But, where the fuck are we going to?''

''I don't know. I don't even know how we get there.'' I told him.

''Where would we meet?'' He asked me.

''At Peeta's house, the bakery.''

''We'll drive with someone else, my car is crashed, remember?'' He said. ''Do you think that I can ask the school for a new one? In fact it's their fault that it crashed.'

I couldn't hold my laughter. ''You seriously think they're going to give you a new one?''

''No, then I'll seek legal compensation.'' He said, like he already figured out a whole plan.

''They'd make you pay for the fact that you were in a wrong parking place; in the middle of a fucking railway.'' I told him. ''The story about a school kidnapping a friend of us is too absurd for them to believe.''

''You just ruined my idea, Clover.''

''Sorry.'' I said. ''But I should get ready, I'll see you in twenty minutes, okay?''

''Okay, bye.''

''Bye.''

I hung up, twenty minutes till I have to be at Peeta's house; I really had to hurry. I stripped my sweatpants and sweater off and replaced my underwear for a bikini. I didn't really thought that it would be that warm to go swimming, but the sun was still shining so I could get sunburn, and sunburn means tan, and that was good. I just couldn't get tanned without burning my skin.

After I re-dressed myself, I put on some waterproof mascara and did my hair. Not in a ponytail as usual, just loose. I put on my black all-stars, just because they matched with my shorts.

Sunglasses, check.

Phone, check.

Basically everything I needed, now it was time to escape out of the house.

I headed towards the room, and opened it. My eyes stitched around, looking if there was someone out there who could see me. But it was save, no one in sight. I sighed, then first sat down on the windowsill, moved both my legs to the other side. It was indeed warmer outside than I expected, warm but stuffy. I had actually a pretty good sight from the roof, it allowed me to see places I never could. Like the neighbours' garden. The grass was always greener there, but in their garden wasn't any grass at all. Just bricks on the ground, no flowers; nothing. The half naked man who was sitting there on a chair ruined my sight, so I looked in front of me and just focused on whatever I was doing.

I let myself slide out of the window, setting both my feet on the edge of the roof. I could hardly stand here, but the problem was that I couldn't see the drainpipes from here. I shuffled aside, my back pressed against the wall so I couldn't fall down. I just stared in front of me, if I would look down I'd only get scared by the height. Not that it was that high, but I wasn't really into falling right now.

It took me some time to accept that I couldn't see the drainpipes, so I didn't know where they were. I couldn't just hang there and leave my legs dangling above the floor. Knowing that there would still be 12 feet underneath me. I wasn't that handy, so I could easily break my ankle or something. Just letting myself fall from here wasn't an option either.

I decided to go via the shed, that was on a lower place so I could jump from that I guess. Only the disadvantage was that my parents could see me easier when I jumped from that thing. I would land in the backyard instead of in front of my house. And if I wanted to leave the backyard, I had to go through the port. The port was in sight if you would look through the window of the living room, where my parents were probably still arguing.

...

Disadvantage or not, I had to leave this place. So I decided to just do it. I shuffled aside with my back against the rough bricks of the house, scraping my back. I would rather feel some pain in my back than break something if I would fall down. Once I got at the shed, I sat down on the roof, and finally noticed how shakily I was making my movements. I set both my feet on the roof of the shed, and let myself fall.

The distance between the two roofs wasn't big, so I could just get off without getting hurt. After that I sat down on the edge of the shed too, taking a deep breath and then let myself fall from it.

I landed on one foot, and one knee. Why couldn't I just land on both my feet, now my knee hurt. But the pain would reminded me of what I was doing, without getting crazy. It felt like a mission, a parcours I had to get through. When finally it was just escaping from the house like every other teen would do in their life. I glanced at the window by the living room. My parents were still busy arguing, so they wouldn't see me I guessed.

I rushed towards the port, opened it, got through it and shut it behind me. A feeling of happiness burned inside me, satisfied that I made it. Then I just continued walking, which did hurt a little because of my knee. It took me a small 5 minutes to arrive at the Mellark's Bakery.

...

A delicious scent of fresh baked bread hung in the air among the Bakery. Katniss, Peeta, Finnick and Cato stood in front of it. Peeta and Katniss both sitting on the little stair in front of the door. Finnick and Cato found themselves hanging against the wall. Though when Cato noticed me, he did took the effort to walk towards- and kiss me. I always had to stand on my tiptoes to kiss him back, being small wasn't very useful in this kind of moments.

'Where's Annie?' I asked.

'She's late, here in five minutes.' Finnick said. 'Well she texted me that, and if she wasn't here by then; I had to read it again.'

I grinned. 'Typical Annie.'

Nobody had something interesting to say, leaving us all in an awkward silence. Until Annie finally arrived.

'Sorry!' She said, placing her bicycle in the rack in front of the Bakery. 'I just had a lot of things to do.'

'Who's driving?' Cato asked everyone, except me. I would crash it anyways, right?

'Me.' Finnick said, gesturing at the car parked in the parking place in front of the bakery too. Of course these things were meant for the costumers, and not for some teens who needed a place to meet. It was a typical family-car with 7 seats. Usual cars have only five, but we were with 6, so this could be very damn useful.

Finnick opened the doors of the car, and got in the driver's seat himself. I decided to sit down in the back of the car, where was a bank with two seats, but you could sit there with three too if it was necessary. Cato hopped on that sofa in the back of the car too. Katniss and Peeta found themselves sitting in the middle of the car. These two seats were split apart, because of the fact that there had to be space to get in the back of the car, where we were sitting.

Finnick drove away from the bakery, and in a small time we were on a highway.

The car was so unfamiliar to me, while the only familiar car for me was actually Cato's car. Not that I would ever sit in that one again, it was still somewhere drowning next to that railway. I should stop caring about the familiarity of things; in this city everything was new to me. Literally everything.

Everything I hated when I came here, turned out to be _my _everything who I loved. Everything I used to love, or liked at first sight; turned out to be a complete hell. Also known as school and parents. Everyone else was talking to each other, so I decided to do the same.

'My parents want to break us apart.' I looked at Cato, no time for useless things, I was just getting straight to the point.

'What?' He raised his eyebrow.

'Yeah, I had the same damn reaction. I swear to god, what is this for punishment?' I mumbled.

'See? I already told you that your parents weren't going to like me very much.' He shrugged. 'And I was right.'

'Ah well, they're just in a bad mood I guess.' I sighed. 'Arguing the whole damn time.'

'If you're getting sick of it, just call me, okay?'

'Sure.'

...

And before I even noticed it, the car stood on a parking place close to the beach. A gust of wind got inside the car when Katniss opened up the door at her side. It ruffled my hair up, but that didn't matter really much when you were at the beach. I moved outside the car, immediately getting sand in my shoes. There was a lot more wind here compared to in the city, making the waves higher, what made them make more sound when they crashed. Though that sound was so relaxing.

We all headed down some stairs, which would lead us to the beach which was laying a little lower than we stood right now. Once we were downstairs, I saw that there were pretty much people for just an afternoon in the middle of the week. I didn't get the weather either, yesterday it was still storming and raining and shit, and now it was evening and pretty warm.

Katniss and Annie together laid down a few big towels we could sit on. Finnick placed some already mixed drinks on it. We all sat down.

The wind blew through my hair, and when I glanced over the sea, I saw that no one was swimming or something. Probably because of the high waves. I looked around me, to the people who were clearly too afraid to go swimming. Afraid to get beaten by a wave. Though no one was standing out, just getting off their lazy asses. Nope, just a crowd of stupid sheep who did nothing.

Thoughts made me only more wanting to just run into the water. Luckily Katniss was thinking the same, when she just put out her shirt and shorts, leaving her in a bikini too.

'You aren't going to tell me you wanted to go swimming, are you?' Peeta laughed.

Katniss nodded. 'Yep.'

'I'll join you.' I said.

Everyone looked at Annie. 'Oh hell no.' She shook her head. 'You aren't going to see me in that cold water.'

Oh yeah, of course it was cold. The last time I jumped into cold water was during that weekend, when we jumped from the waterfall. I almost drowned there because my body just froze.

I dropped my clothes in the sand too, even though it seemed warm and sunny, in a bikini it was still cold. But who would care about the cold, when you could have fun, right? Katniss got up too, then looked over the small group.

'Anyone joining us too?' She asked them.

'If we go too, you will have no one to warm you up when you get back.' Peeta grinned, Cato nodding in agreement.

'Okay then.' I said, pulling Katniss with me towards the sea.

'Though I feel like I'm going to fall into the water, smashed by a wave or something.' She said.

'Yup, me too.' I nodded.

We stopped walking for a few seconds, staring at the water. 'We're going to run?' She asked me.

I nodded. '3.'

'2.' She said.

Then both talking in sync. '1.'

We ran inside the water, in seconds I barely could feel my feet. Frozen by this icy water. In the beginning it was always the coldest. We continued walking further till it reached my waist, which made me for some reason standing on my tiptoes.

'Okay we aren't going further.' She said.

'Nope.' I shook my head. By every high wave I just had to jump because I didn't want my hair to get wet.

'Ah well, the cold never bothered me anyway.' She said, keeping her head up while she looked at the beach. Where the boys and Annie still were sitting.

She waved at us. I waved back, followed by a huge wave behind me, smacking me into the water. Sputtering I came above the surface again, spitting out the salty water. A shiver ran through my body, well; the cold _did_ bother me.

'Oh my fucking god.' Katniss muttered once she came above the water too. 'That's cold, so fucking cold.'

I could hear the rest of the group laughing at us. Making me roll my eyes. 'Let it go.' I slapped the water, then looked at Katniss. 'I think we watch too much Frozen.'

'Maybe because we _are_ frozen right now? I mean, they couldn't just set an eternal summer over here, nope, it had to be this stupid freezing water.'

I waddled back to the beach again, then jumped up. 'Put me in summer and I'll be a happy snowman!'

'Snowwoman.' She corrected me. 'You're going to melt once you get on the beach again.'

'Some people are worth melting for.' I said, faking a smile.

'We really have to re-watch that movie.'

'And the Notebook! We have to see that one too.'

'Definitely, movie night bitches.'

...

We walked on the sand again, above the water it was even colder now. So we ran towards the group. I heard Katniss mumbling. 'Cold, cold, cold.'

'And?' Peeta laughed.

'It's fucking cold okay.' Katniss told him while she sat down.

So did I, curling myself up to Cato. 'Wait,' He said, and grabbed one of the several towels we brought, then wrapped it around me.

'Dude, I feel like a burrito now.' I grinned.

I quickly dried my hair. 'Regretting it?' Annie gestured at the sea.

'Nope.' I said.

'Then would you do it again?' She smiled, like she had changed her mind or something.

Jumping twice in that ice cold water, knowing that I would get slammed over by a high wave again. Sounded good to my crazy mind.

* * *

**I feel a movie night coming up. **

**Time to switch back to the normal social life, isn't it?**

**I just had to add a frozen-related moment; because just everyone loves Frozen. **

**I'm realising now that we might be pretty far in the story, chapter 33. And still the most important things didn't happen. **

**So I gotta hurry up a bit, not boring you all off. **

**[ Longer chapters, or just more chapters?] I wouldn't mind if this story would get over the 100 chapters, but it might be annoying for y'all. **

**So let me know! Love yaaa x**


	34. Another invitation

The sun which was shining through the window as I woke up, warming the sheets of my bed. I glanced over the clock, 7 am. Had to get up pretty quick. The beach was amazing yesterday, though I still had a little headache from all those drinks we drank there. It actually surprised me that I didn't had caught a cold from running into that water, but I was glad.

I remembered that I had to climb inside the window again when I got home. The lights were already turned off downstairs, parents already sleeping. I hoped they didn't notice that I wasn't in my room then, or else I would have a big damn problem when I would get downstairs now to eat breakfast. Though it all was fun, breaking free out of your window, and just climb inside it again at midnight.

I sighed, then slapped the sheets from the bed to the other side, and got up. I was still a bit tired, only got six hours of sleep. But sunlight did always make the morning better. Funny how I just was so optimistic about everything right now. It had to be the love feelings inside of me what made me feel happy.

But the thoughts about going to school kind of ruined it again. That was why I was afraid to be happy, because of the fact that it was going to get away by something bad. What would leave me in a negative mood instead.

Holding my arm out of the window, it felt pretty warm. Just like an early summer. I decided to wear a tank-top and shorts. After applying my makeup and got my hair done, I took the time to get downstairs. Still nervous if they were going to say something about yesterday.

Everyone was already sitting at the table, except my mom. She must have got my dad mad too, but at this moment it was more comfortable without her. I released my breath and sat in between of Shane and Lotus. I grabbed some toast without making a single noise, it was quiet anyway. Until my dad started talking to me.

'Sorry about yesterday, your mom really went crazy.' He shook his head. 'Where is she?' I asked, still a little curious where she was. 'She said she was going to sleep at a friend's house. After that I didn't see her anymore.'

Whoa wait, this shit wasn't going in a right way. What if they would get divorced or something? All because of me! God I was a terrible person, but at least I could admit it. 'Really?' I asked quietly.

He nodded. 'But hey, we're not going to start a day with this kind of conversation, are we?' Then he gestured at Lotus. He probably just didn't wanted to let her hear these kind of things. 'No.' Lotus shook her head quickly.

'Can you give me a ride to school?' I asked Shane. For some reason all my things I could drive to school on, were still standing at school. Cato did brought me home a few times, what didn't meant that he was picking me up. Plus my scooter was still not fixed.

'Yeah sure.' Shane shrugged, then we both got up from the seats by the table. I grabbed my bag, and headed out the door. It was indeed pretty warm, and the sun was still shining. The cloudless sky meant that there was probably no rain coming, so I was fine in a tank-top instead of sweater.

He grabbed the scooter, I hopped on the seat too, sitting behind him. Shane just quickly drove towards school. For a second I thought about the people who first thought that he was my boyfriend, so damn stupid were they. But the ones I didn't tell that he was my brother, could make up a lot of rumours right now. God I hated all these rumours when people had no idea what they were actually saying. That was just a thing we all did; when you have nothing interesting to tell about you start making up things. Starting a fire which you couldn't extinguish by yourself, and before you know it you've burned everything down. No, really great things these rumour-makers.

I got off from the scooter in front of the school, while the parking places were in the back. I mumbled a ''Thanks.'' and then moved towards the doors. I glanced over my forefinger, after all these days they had to prick that needle inside of it there were a few little dots, where the blood used to come out from, able to see. There was nothing as fading away, healing these little wounds; because of the fact that there were new ones coming every day you would arrive here. And wanted to go inside. Still these rules of the school made no sense to me at all.

I held out my hand in front of the woman, the left side of the table as usual. Actually I never went to the one on the right, this was just my routine and I'd keep it this way. She pricked the needle inside of it as usual, dipped the blood on the paper. It was a little book, I guess that they used a new book every day to keep all the blood dots from every student. It really didn't make sense to me. After the woman said that I could go through the gate, I went towards the back building, which actually was an indoor sport hall. Once I got there, there was a white paper on the door of the dressingroom with the announcement that we should ''Go to the field.'' Of course we would sport outside today, it was nice wheater. But at least they had to give us that announcement a little earlier.

The field, as they called it, was outside the school's territory. Behind the fence, located on the right side of the school. So I walked towards that place. Once arrived, I saw Jackie standing in front of the fence. I rushed towards her, excited to hear about her date with Thresh yesterday.

'Tell me!' I told her while I walked next to her. 'We are like,' She began, not sounding really confident. 'A couple now?' 'Yay.' I said. 'So we went to I don't know where, but it was a restaurant with good damn food.' She told me. 'It was so much fun.' 'Great to know.' I smiled. She gestured at the field. 'We're going to play soccer.'

Great, now I already knew I was going to fail doing something, which would be totally awkward. I hadn't played soccer for like 6 years. Since an pretty serious injury I stopped, and never started again. Jackie, on the other hand, was playing it every week at the club, with a competition and shit like that. First time I had this lesson, and that Brutus was already going to dislike me I guess.

Once Jackie and I got out of the dressing rooms, we walked on the field of grass. 'Fuck the warming up,' Brutus said. 'Enobaria and I are going to pick the teams, we're just playing a 11 against 11 game the whole hour.'

The only people I knew from my team were Jackie and Finnick. Peeta, Cashmere, Glimmer and Cato were on the other team. The rest was simply not in this lesson. Actually wanted to get in the same team as Cato, but this team had positive things too. Well, actually I could tackle Glimmer now, without getting in trouble. This was time for revange, bitch.

Brutus was giving us the line up, while Enobaria coached the other team. 'And you,' Brutus pointed at me. 'Uh, right wing?' I just nodded. Back in two I always stood somewhere at the midfield, attacking wasn't a really strong point of me. But it was always a better one than defending, something what I really sucked in. I mean, if people so much bigger had to get past me, that wasn't even something they would put their effort in, I wasn't able to stop them anyways. Plus, I always was in a girls team, and now the teams were mixed. Only one thing I could say about this; I was going to die.

We just played the game, what actually went better than I thought. A boy I didn't even know the name of was defending my side, but he was just around the same height as me, so that wasn't that hard. Sometimes things didn't work out like I wanted, but I couldn't call it ''failing''. So for the first time I had played this, I was actually satisfied. Plus I tackled Glimmer once, who since that fall literally thanked me for it. Then acted like she was injured so she didn't have to do anything anymore. That thanks wasn't even sarcastic, she was just too lazy to do something.

* * *

A few hours later during the break, we stood in a group in the middle of the hallway, kind of blocking everyone who wanted to pass. Surprisingly Marvel already stood here too. I knew that he and Cato used to be good friends, but since that weekend fight thing I doubted about that. But right now everything seemed fine between them. Guess that I was just overthinking again.

Because of Marvel who was standing at our group right now, Glimmer and Cashmere joined too. I rolled my eyes.

'So,' Glimmer began. 'Because of the fact that Marvel and I are having our birthday in the same weekend. We are giving a party at his house. And we wanted to invite all of you.'

I frowned, I guess we used to hate eachother? And to be honest I still did. And now they wanted to invite us at their party. I remembered that Cashmere had done the same, then said that it was a chance you'd get once in a lifetime. Then invited me again, and now Glimmer and Marvel were doing it too. I guess that secretly they just were obsessed with me.

'Including you.' She looked at me, putting up a (fake) smile.

'I'm flattered.' I said, sarcastically as fuck.

* * *

**Clove and her sarcasm ^.^**

**I'm sorry that this chapter sucked, but I just had to write it in two hours instead of my usual 5.**

**Yes i am writing 5 fucking hours on just one chapter, I'm not that fast lol. So this chap was a little late. Oopss.**

**Did you all ( from anywhere in Europe ) have seen the Eurovision yesterday?**

**If there are visitors from Austria : Congratulations !**

**We dutchies had to do it with the second place...**

**HAVE A NICE DAY :D and don't forget to review to make my day better too. ;)**


	35. An unusual test

**Sorry, it became a little bit shorter chapter than usual. Though it is important ;)**

**Have fun reading xx**

* * *

'Okay then.' Katniss said. 'We'll come to your party.'

'Great.' Glimmer said, batting her eyelashes. Then she and Cashmere just walked away, down the hall. Surprisingly Marvel followed them too, leaving us in our usual group again.

'Okay I didn't understand a single thing from that.' Jackie frowned. She hated Cashmere just as I did, after all she was the one who told me not to go to her party the last time.

'Can't believe they invited us.' Katniss said.

I expected it to be in a sarcastic way, but it was more excited, like she really meant it. Okay, these two might be the popular bitches, but I hated them.

Then Jackie turned to me. 'Have you learned for that History test?'

'What test?' I raised my eyebrow.

'That one next lesson, but clearly you didn't learn?'

'Shit, no.' I said.

'Fuck, I didn't learn too.' She shook her head. 'I was going to ask if I could crib on your paper.'

'Is there anyone who did learn for that test?' I looked around the group. But it remained silent. 'Great, then we all are going to fail this test.'

First test at this school, and I was going to fail it. Sure that this school had a great impression of me. Only Peeta and Annie had another lesson than us all. Better said as; they didn't have to worry about that test. Ah well, I wouldn't die because of one bad grade. Though I wasn't sure about that at this school.

So we just walked towards that classroom, preparing to fail. I got through the door, all the tables were already separated and set up in perfect lines. I immediately got on the seat in the back of the class, next to the window. Looking out of the window I saw the sport field, others classes were playing soccer too. I thought about picking it up again, just go to I don't know which club and start playing it again. But actually now I had to focus on this test, it was an important one.

Once the class remained quiet, I cut off my daydreaming and saw that there was already a paper on my desk. I looked over the classroom, everyone was writing already, even my friends who didn't learn. So I glanced over the paper. What the fuck was that all? Was I supposed to learn this shit?

''Where is the Arena located?''

What Arena? I never heard anything about an Arena. Though I felt like there was an connection between the Hunger Games and that Arena, both I've never heard someone talking about. What if the Hunger Games was in an Arena? That would be weird for just an eating competition. I started thinking outside the box, what if it wasn't an eating competition but more something bad. An Arena is meant to fight, according to the history books. In Rome they had these Arena's too, with Chariots and shit like that.

If there was an Arena I didn't know about, somewhere in Panem; I was sure that it was somewhere close to the Capitol. That would make sense to me, actually. What if that whole Hunger Games thing was an fighting competition in that Arena? It was literally a black page in the history. It would make some sense this way.

Thanks god the rest of the questions were multiple choice. Though it was weird how they were asking us questions we couldn't know, and never learned anything about. I looked over Cato's paper a few times when Mr. Abernathy wasn't looking. Pretty much the same answers as I had.

But when I looked via the reflection of the window, at the paper of the kid in front of me, there were a lot of other answers on his paper. Ah well, I would just stick to my answers. That kid just didn't know anything. Plus I wanted to pass this test.

After we all handed in our tests, Haymitch already started counting the points on whoever already gave him the paper. The points were ranked between the 0 and 12, I didn't know why it wasn't just on a scale of one to ten, but okay.

'Jackie, 3 points.' He read out loud.

Jackie did a celebration dance, because she didn't had a 0. She was so weird.

'Cashmere, 2 points.'

'Shit.' I heard her mumbling. It surprised me how Mr. Abernathy read these bad grades so happily, almost like he just loved how we had bad grades.

He was calling a lot of names, all with points between the 1 and 4, just a single one had a 5. But I only focused on the people I knew.

'Katniss, a 4. Finnick a 4 too.' Said Haymitch, then his voice changed into a lower pitch. 'Cato, a 10.'

'What?' I heard Cato mumbling.

I looked confused to him. 'How the fuck did you get a 10, you didn't lea-'

I got cut off by Haymitch, speaking other points. Mine this time.

'Clove, 9 points.'

'What the fuck?!' I said.

'You bitch, you said you didn't learn for this test, if I knew that I could just-' I heard Jackie chuckling, but saw her turning red. 'He, he. Nothing. Just congratulations, Clove.'

I swear to god, I didn't learn. I didn't even know that there was a test, neither did Cato. How the fuck could we have such high scores? Although the question was more like; How were we the only ones with high points?

I got proven wrong. 'Gale, a 9.' Haymitch spoke.

Gale ugh, I hated him. Just another douchebag at the school with high points on the ranking list. It took some time to get clear to me. Cato had high points, and Gale had high points too. They were the upper two in the death list, and in that thing high points weren't really positive.

Everyone who seemed to be a good student, had very low points. Every smart kid, some nerdy, all of them didn't had a score higher than 5. They were the ones who didn't even stood on the death list, the ones who believed whatever the school had to tell them. Not looking any further. But Cato did, and probably that Gale too.

High points weren't a good thing here at Panem high, though everyone with low points wasn't very happy at this test. Maybe it wasn't a normal test. They just wanted to know how much we knew, not about the curriculum, but about the Hunger Games things. And I did thought about the Hunger Games, the connection between that and the Arena. We were not supposed to know that. And still I answered everything I thought was true, guess I better didn't do that. Cato was right, the school was always one move before you, no matter what you did. He had high points too, his answers were similar to mine, but that kid in front of me had totally other answers, and a 3 as score.

There was no doubt possible, I thought that failing this test might kill me, but now passing the test was the thing what made it pretty lethal. How could I be so stupid?!

After the lesson Mr. Abernathy called me, Cato and Gale to come to his desk. This wasn't going to end well I guessed.

...

'How did you answered that first question?' Haymitch asked us. 'The one with that Arena.'

I guess we three already knew what was going on. So we remained silent.

'Everyone just filled in that it was close to Amsterdam, you know; the Amsterdam Arena. The football stadium of that club Ajax?'' He said. ''You are living in this city. You three knew that!''

'I am a girl,'' I lied as calm possible. 'I don't know anything about football.'

Cato knew I did, almost everyone knew I did. But my teacher probably didn't. It was a bad excuse, but I had to tell him something.

'And you're the only one with an excuse?' He looked over me, then at the two next to me.

'Maybe she is.' Cato said. 'But do you have an excuse for giving us a test with things we never could learn?'

That was so damn stupid to say.

'If you couldn't learn it, then how do you got a 10, Cato?' Haymitch asked in such a sadistic way.

* * *

**Panem High and their tests -.-' **

**I guess you all know what's going on here?**

**- Please leave a review with what you think is going on. ;) -**

**This chap was a little sneaky lol. Didn't have really much time and I forgot to upload yesterday too . Sorry 'bout that.**

**Have a nice day ;D**


	36. Detention

'I told you they were planning something.' I hissed while we got inside the detention room. After all I still didn't get why we had to go here, we just had high scores at that weird test. It wasn't just a test for them to see what you had learned, it was about how much you knew about the things we shouldn't speak or know about.

Cato and I sat down somewhere in the back of the class, next to each other.

'Shut your mouth about that, we'll talk about this later.' He whispered.

I nodded. He was right, if I would talk about these things in this classroom, it was sure that I wouldn't get out alive. I sighed, all these silenced moments. So many things to say, so less words actually spoken. I really hated this whole conspiracy, but there was no other way than just work with it.

Mrs. Donner sat in front of the desk, checking if we were quiet. Maysilee was her first name I thought. After a while she told us she had to do something, and headed outside the classroom.

Suddenly I felt someone tapping on my shoulder, so I turned around. A curly brown haired boy faced me, I estimated him around 17 years old.

'What?' I asked.

'Did you passed that test too?' He asked me.

'Yeah why?' I nodded.

'You know why.' He said. 'What score did you have?'

'9.' I answered curtly to whoever this boy was. 'You?'

'7.' He said. 'According to that, you know more than I do.'

'Uh, yeah.' I mumbled, then stayed quiet for a while.

'So, you are going to tell me.' He frowned.

'What do I have to tell?' I asked quietly.

Cato turned around too. 'Dude, don't talk to her like that.'

'You have no idea who I am.' The boy said.

'Ugh attitude.' I mumbled inaudible.

'Nope, and actually I don't give a fuck about who you might be, you are not going to talk to her like that.' Cato told him.

I just followed their conversation, grabbing my bag to find something to drink or eat. I was pretty hungry.

'_I_,' the boy said, crossing his arms. Then he glanced over me like he wanted to make an impression or something. 'am a badass. I'm ranked fifth at the list.'

I spat out my drink and burst into laughter. I couldn't even describe how he was fooling himself. 'Congratulations.' I told the boy, this time aware that I was congratulating someone with dying.

'You didn't say that.' Cato laughed.

'Thank you.' The boy said. Was he just fooling us, or was he really that stupid? How the fuck could that thing get a 7 at that test. This was just another sheep in the crowd. Only one that was proud of it.

'Since when did it became a good thing to get on that list?' Cato asked. Oh the irony.

'Well,' the boy told him. 'It's good for your reputation.'

Then he started talking about how awesome it was to be on that list. Did he was serious? He didn't know that he was going to die or something?

'I'm going to tell him.' Cato whispered to me. I slapped him on his arm. 'Don't you dare.'

'How did you get on that list.' I asked him, resting my head in my hands. Acting like I was really interested.

'You know, getting in fights, shit like that.' He said.

'Oh is that so?' I nodded in sympathy.

'Yeah.' He said, I could see him tightening his arm muscles. I really had to keep myself from laughing, what a fool.

I found the courage to say it out loud. 'Stop the world.' Everyone in the classroom looked our way. 'We have to kick someone off.'

'I'd rather kick your ass off.' The boy said, full of arrogance now.

'Such a _bad_ass.' I clapped my hands. A girl in the front of the class started laughing. Cato just shook his head, then sat down at the table again. I turned around too, leaving that fool.

...

'You all can go now.' Mrs. Donner said when she arrived in the classroom again. So I got up from the chair, and walked together with Cato towards the door. With that oh-so-dumb brown haired boy following us. Cato and I walked out of the halls of the school building.

'Do you need a ride?' He asked me.

I thought about my bicycle which still stood here at school, and in that case I would have no way to get to school tomorrow. 'Only if you pick me up tomorrow morning too.' I said. 'By the way, your car…?'

'Got a new one.' He said.

'From the school?' I chuckled once we were outside.

'Nope.' He shook his head. 'What a school by the way, not even giving me a new car. But they do want to take my life. It's not very fair is it?'

'Life is taking and giving, right?'

He nodded, then we got in the white Audi. Probably pretty expensive, I thought.

The smell of new cars, usually people liked that. But I didn't at all. It was so unfamiliar now, not that one scratch on my seat, not the four leaved clover hanging from the rear-view mirror.

It took less time than usual before we arrived at my ''home''. Probably because he was driving way faster than usual. He stopped in front of my house. 'Are your parents at home?' He asked me. 'Yeah, why?' I nodded, looking through the window. I saw my mom walking inside the house, that meant that she was home already, well; that she came home. But she noticed the car in front of her house, and not a few seconds later she walked outside, towards this car. My heart started beating faster. 'Shit.' I mumbled, watching her come closer. The only thing I could do was just wait.

...

She pulled the car door on my side open, then grabbed my arm and tried to pull me out of the car.

'Mom what the fuck?' I said, and half hang inside my seat because of the seatbelts. Cato loosened his', then tried to part me and my mom apart. There were a few scratches on my arm because of her nails.

'Let her go, right now.' My mom hissed.

'Seriously mom, calm the fuck down.' I said, leaning in a bit more to Cato. Not like I would lean in for a kiss or something, this time more for protection, according to my mom who literally went crazy, like was she on drugs? I didn't know what was wrong with her, but I was the victim of it, that was for sure.

'Uh,' I heard him mumbling. 'Why don't you both just let go of each other?'

'We need to let go?' My mom said. '_You_ are the fucking problem here, right Clove?'

'Eh, no?' I shook my head slightly.

She loosened my seatbelt and pulled me out of the car. I stumbled over a stone in the garden.

'You're going to stay right here.' My mom told him, then went to me and pulled me inside the house.

I didn't just walk with her, I tried to go back or something. Not that it was a use, but I looked behind myself, at Cato. He was looking at me with that what-the-fuck-is-going-on kind of look.

She pushed me inside the house, then locked the door behind me and went to Cato herself. I sighed, and now what?

I stood there just in the house, looking around me with tears in my eyes. Not because I really needed to cry or something, I was just so damn angry at her. Why couldn't she just accept him? Why couldn't she just accept _me_? My arm did hurt, but actually that was the last thing I was worrying about right now.

...

I sighed, then went to the window. I sat down on the table, staring outside at them. Talking in front of the car, keeping me inside here. It almost was like in a fairy tale, but just not a really positive one. But they have happy endings right? God damn, I wanted a happy ending too. I just already knew that I was never going to get one. I wasn't going to get any flowers on Valentine's day, not going to spend new year's eve with him. He was probably dead by then. We didn't have that many days, but even when there was a deadline on our relationship, why couldn't she just let us be?!

The tears burned in my eyes, but I didn't want to drop them down. I just stared outside until I saw her coming back, and Cato driving away from the road. When I heard the door closing behind her, I shook my head and got up from the table.

'I'm sorry sweetie, I just want the best for you.' I heard her saying. I clenched my fists, she didn't, she never meant to do anything good for me. She just ruined everything I had, she always did that.

'Just shut up.' I yelled back, then rushed upstairs towards my room.

I hated her, I really did. I slammed the door of my room behind me, hopped down my bed and grabbed a pillow. I began punching the pillow to stop my anger, to stop my tears. But it only became worse, and I ended up crying in it, instead of hitting it. That just was the thing between me and anger, it always ended up in tears.

I grabbed my phone after a while, decided to text Cato. After this it would only get worse if I didn't let anything hear from me.

_**17:03: Hey, sorry about what the fuck just happened. My mom seriously went crazy.**_

It took some time till the response, but he did text back. But if I was so happy with that…

_[Cato] 17:15: I think it's better to just not talk to each other anymore.._

* * *

**Naaaawwww :c**

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**God this is already chapter 36, I think that this is going to be a fucking long story, because I'm not even on a quarter of the whole damn thing. **

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**Love ya all x**


	37. Hello heartache

Oh no she didn't. My mom couldn't just ruin everything for me, could she? Seriously making Cato and me break up with each other? What the fuck did she told him?

Though the tears in my eyes made it hard to read the screen.

_**17:16: What?**_

_[Cato] 17:17: I guess you can read?_

_**17:17: No.**_

_**17:17: Seriously why the fuck are you doing this to me?**_

_[Cato] 17:18: I'd better ask you._

_**17:18: I didn't do anything wrong?! What the fuck is going on here.**_

_[Cato] 17:18: You better find our yourself, I guess. Bye, Clover._

The only positive thing around here was that the ''bye'' wasn't a ''goodbye.'' The day he would say goodbye would be the day he died, he said. Lies, they were all lies. Everything was a lie, my whole fucking life was a lie.

_**17:19: No nothing ''bye.'' **_

_**17:20: Can't you come over or something? We need to talk.**_

_[Cato] 17:20: Oh the irony. You can just talk to your mom, go ahead. _

_**17:21: I really hate you ._.**_

_**17:22: Can't you just see that it's not true what she's saying!?**_

_**17:22: Whatever she said.**_

_[Cato] 17:23: Done now?_

Every single reply just felt like a stabbing knife inside my heart, actually I think that that would even hurt less than this. How could he do this to me, what the fuck have I done to deserve this. Better stop the world, I wanted to get off right now. But if it was just that easy, being able to just get off from the world.

_**17:24: No..**_

_[Cato] 17:25: Then what else do you have to say? -.-_

_**17:25: I have feelings too okay. Plus you said that you never would say goodbye to me, and you just did. Just know that this isn't my fault, whatever she has told you. YOU told me that I shouldn't care about what people had to say. Now look at yourself.**_

_**17:27: Cato?!**_

_[Cato] 17:30: Look, I didn't meant to hurt you; but you girls are always complaining about the lies we boys tell you, so I'm just saying the truth. If you can't handle that, that's not my problem. _

I swallowed, to keep in the tears. He did like this all. From the beginning till here, he just did like to hurt me. Then I took a deep breathe to calm down a little.

_**17:31: It's pretty weak to break up in a message, you know..**_

_[Cato] 17:32: You really want to talk about this face to face?_

_**17:32: Yeah**_

_[Cato] 17:33: Ugh okay, at six in the park._

_**17:33: Okay**_

_**...**_

And that was just how it ended. Well, the conversation. I hope not that this was the way our relation ended. Six days wasn't very long in my opinion. Though I hated the way when he just answered that curtly to me, cutting me off every time. Then he can say that it wasn't meant to hurt me, but it clearly was.

Actually I was getting nervous, and sad about our upcoming conversation in the park. I would really hope that we would get back together or so, actually I didn't even knew if it was officially over now. But the feelings spoke for itself, and it hurt.

The shortest, but best relationship I ever had. So this was love? And if so; what's the point of being it at all? When it hurts we just let go. Let go anything we had, like it was nothing. Love was nothing but pain, there was nothing like an happy ending, that was for sure.

I wiped away my tears, and mascara what was now underneath my eyes. I took a breath, didn't felt like changing my clothes although it was raining now and I was in a tank-top and shorts. Would be pretty damn hopeless if it would not work out like I wanted, when actually nothing worked out like I wanted.

So I walked downstairs, knowing that my mom was there.

'Clove I'm so sorry.' She said, sitting down on the sofa, probably expecting me to sit down next to her. Hell no!

'What are you doing?' She asked.

'You thought you could break us apart that easily?' I muttered. 'No mom, you can't just do that.'

'What are you talking about?' She asked, a little too innocent.

'Go fuck yourself.' I said, slamming the front door.

And there I stood, in the rain. I could go back to get a jacket or something, but I didn't want to get inside that house again. I just told myself to move on and walked towards the park.

Once I arrived, Cato was already sitting there on a bench, throwing a cigarette on the ground. I felt like I was crying, in fact I was. Only my eyes dried and I couldn't drop down any tears. My eyes were just empty like the hole inside of me. I couldn't lose Cato, I never wanted to. This wasn't like usual relationships which you could let go after a while. If this really was over, I'd really don't know what I should do with my life from then.

He got up, then walked towards me. 'Yeah?' He said.

It sounded so cold to me, so heartless. He clearly only wanted to talk. But I didn't, and hugged him tightly. It took some time, but because I didn't let go, he wrapped his arms around me too. Damn it, I always loved our hugs, but now it just didn't meant anything anymore. Well, for me it did, but it was just so heart-breaking to know that it didn't for him.

'I'm sorry.' I sighed, suddenly hearing the pain in my own voice. 'But I actually don't know what for.'

'Are you ever going to let go?' He said after a while.

'No.' I simply replied. 'I don't know what she has told you. But it's not true, I can tell you.'

'If you don't know what you're talking about, then how do you know it isn't true?'

'She doesn't know me at all.' I said. 'She is the devil, I'm serious. She just wants to break us apart.'

'Clove, she's your mother. Why the fuck does she even wants to do that to her daughter? Just accept that you have made mistakes too.'

'But that's the problem.' I sighed, and pulled back from him. 'She might be my mother, but she's jealous because she can't hold an relationship, so she wants to take mine away too.'

'Girl, I'm sorry.' He told me. 'But I can't stand her too. And I just can't do this all, if I can't even set a step inside your house.'

'Well you can't blame me for that?' I looked down. 'I can't hold it any longer in that house either. In that case, be happy you can't even get in.'

He sat down on that bench again, and I took place next to him.

'It's just a problem okay.' He said.

I looked down at the pebble stones underneath my feet, and slowly nodded. 'I just expected everything to be okay when I came here, I'm not saying it had to be perfect, but at least without any big problems, or mistakes. Just the feeling that I would finally be fine. But it isn't.'

I swallowed, then bit my lip to hold myself in. 'I got inside a murdering school, in that house we live in now my parents are arguing the whole fucking time and now my mom wants to take you away. It's just that good things in my life never last okay.'

'Sorry..' He mumbled.

'After all I thought that I wouldn't regret it. I mean, in the hardest times you meet the best people. If I didn't went through this all, I wouldn't have met you.'

'But?'

'But you just seem to like to hurt me? And I don't give a damn about my feelings actually, just don't give up on this, is that really too much to ask?'

'I don't know why you think that I like to hurt you or something, because I really don't.' He said.

And now I was realising that too often we don't realise what we have until it's gone, that too often it seems we hurt the ones closest to our hearts and let the most foolish things tear us apart. The thing to survive in this world was just to not let yourself tear apart by anything who would try to. And that was exactly what Cato and I had to do right now, just stay alive.

'Clove, you can go ahead and tell me your whole damn life story, but that doesn't change this. Don't you understand?'

'This doesn't sounds like a happy end.' I looked down.

'They don't exist, so don't expect it.' He said.

Poof, dreams away. It was clear to me, this wasn't ending like I hoped it to. Nope, my clothes were already sodden because of the rain, could things get even worse right now?

'I don't know what my mom told you. But why the fuck are you reacting like this?' I said. 'Just don't think that this whole breaking up thing is only coming from your side, Cato. And of course there is so much logic in the fact that I could give you like 8 chances until I would realise that I'm an idiot, and you are even denying the second one now? I'm done too!'

...

I sighed, then walked away quickly. God damn it, why couldn't things just work out the way I wanted them to. I really wasn't expecting for perfection, but was this all really too much to ask for? Sadness turned into aggression, just like it always did. Cato didn't follow me, and just got towards his car I guess. I wanted to hit something, or someone, what was even better.

He was always telling me to not care about what people say, and now my mom told him one fucking thing, and this whole thing was over. And this was how it ended. This was how it all ended. It may be only six or seven days, but it seemed longer to me. But that was just the thing about time, it didn't meant how long it was, it was about how much had happened between that time. But about everything what had happened, this was just the ending of it all!

I tried to pull it all back together, but he didn't. And if that just doesn't work; then it all just splits apart. Just like we did. But it was okay, I really was. I could have fun in this town without him. Although it seemed a little dead now, the whole town. I looked around me, high buildings everywhere. Almost nobody at the street, except some cars driving down the road, but they were like dry inside of that. I didn't need Cato, I could do things on my damn own.

'Hey,' I heard someone saying behind my back, was he talking to me?

I turned around, looking towards a small group doing shots underneath a shelter. The tall, dark brown haired boy was talking.

'Want to join us?'

I guess it had to be this way, actually at Katniss' party was the first time I ever drank something, but this chance just had to be this way.

'Sure.' I said, heading towards them.

So I hopped down next to the other girl, tall and skinny, almost black haired. Though she was the only girl in this group, while there were 3 boys. '

I'm Jason,' The dark brown haired boy said, handling me a cup. 'This is Al, Luke and Veronica.'

Veronica, I heard that name before. 'The bitch your parents warned you for.' Veronica half smirked, holding out her hand. 'Nice to meet you.'

'Oh,' I looked up. 'You know Cato?'

'Yeah, how do you know that?' She chuckled, looking so happy, yet so fake. I actually guessed that she wasn't happy at all, just in such a I-don't-give-a-fuck mood, just like me. Usually I would never just join a group like this.

'Well,' I said. 'I used to be his girlfriend.' God damn it hurt to say that. He emotionally stabbed me with a knife, and I was pushing it further right now.

'Hey me too.' She high-fived me. 'May I ask how long it lasted?'

'Seven fucking days.' I answered.

'Usually people won't take it longer than 3, congratulations you made it!' She answered, then sighed and put on a fake smile. 'I was like together with him for a month, everything seemed so damn fine. But things are too good to be true, you know. Let's just cut to the point that I realised that he fucked another girl at _my_ birthday party.'

'What?' I frowned. No seriously, did he really do that?! I actually expected Veronica to be such a mean bitch, according to that ''You owe me something'' She texted Cato back then. But she seemed to be nice, but behind her fake laughing I guess she did have a heart.

'Enough over ex's, have a drink.' Al said, raising a plastic cup with a blue liquid inside of it.

So I poured the blue liquid inside my cup too, who would care what it was, that drink. I took one shot, swallowed it all. Really much alcohol inside of that blue thing, damn that burned.

'So you're still at high school?' Luke said, probably because they weren't.

'Yeah, at Panem High.' I rolled my eyes.

All four of them started laughing. 'Bad choice, that's for sure.' Jason grinned.

'Oh wait,' Al said. 'Do they still have that point-system?''

I nodded. 'Yep.'

'Noooo!' Veronica gasped. 'When we got out of that school we got a letter from it, it said that that whole system would stop.'

'God, that's fucked up.' Jason shook his head. 'But does make clear why nobody who is graduated, does something about it.'

'Wait a second,' Luke looked at me. 'You aren't afraid to talk about that shit, are you?'

'No of course not.' I grinned. Yes, yes I was. But I couldn't just tell this group that I was, it would ruin everything for me.

'Good.' Veronica said, then looked at her vibrating phone. I sneakily glanced over it. ''Police alarm.'' The screen showed.

'Shit.' She mumbled. 'Cops are coming, we gotta go.'

Jason immediately got up and grabbed the bottles alcohol. Of course, we couldn't just do shots on the street. Who knew what was legal or not? Then they started running, and I just ran after them. But they were taller and faster, so I had to run double as hard as they had to, just to keep up with them.

They went aside into an alley.

'Everyone just split up and go home, that will make it a lot easier to get out okay?' Al said.

'We'll text each other soon.' Veronica and Jason told me in sync.

I just shrugged. 'Okay.'

Jason walked nonchalant as fuck away from the alley, turning to the right way. Al and Luke followed him outside the alley, but then headed left. So did Veronica and I, walking behind them. It would probably look pretty weird for outsiders, just see a group walking outside an alley, nonchalant as fuck, all heading in different ways.

'Oh, and I can advise you to not go to Cato anymore, not even talking.' Veronica told me.

'Oh believe me, I won't.' I said.

I just told myself he was just ''another stranger who was going to die''. And I hated my brains for thinking that.

Veronica just told me not to, but actually I did thought about texting him, but if he really needed to say something, he would start the conversation. God damn now I hoped on a text from him. I could wish it upon a falling star, just like I was falling for him. But these beautiful stars were just dead, already dead and that was why they were falling.

Goodbye to all the dreams I ever wished, they were all dead too.

Hello, heartache.

* * *

**Naw I feel sorry for Clove :(**

**Though I felt like introducing y'all to that Veronica. So; THAT is Veronica. now deal with it :3**

**But after reading this chapter, i guess that you have a really other opinion about Cato, don't you? **

**Let me know ^^**

**Have a nice dayyyy. Love ya all x**


	38. Replacement

No matter how hard I tried to forget about him, to just get over it and fall asleep. I couldn't. I laid on my back, staring through the window. There the moon was, full and lightening the whole room of mine, although it for me was just a white blur because of my tears collection in my eyes. A gnawing hunger was in my stomach, I didn't felt like having dinner with my parents, brother and sister. I just went upstairs to my room.

I was checking my phone every two minutes, but again; Cato didn't texted me or something. Then I told myself again that I just had to get over it. But it was so stupid from me to just react like that in the ending of our last conversation. I never meant to let it die. What about all the things he told me? What about that whole school thing? He told me like everything he never told anyone about, well at least he said that. Not sure if I still had to believe that all. It could be lies, all lies.

After a hour or something, I did fell into a restless sleep. Once I opened my eyes again, it was morning. I was really tired, maybe because of the fact that I was awake half the night, thinking about something I lost. I could finally accept that I wasn't over it, however I'd want to get over it, I still couldn't.

Getting over it or not, I had to move on and get up now. I had school in an hour, so I better should get ready.

...

Later that morning, when I arrived at school. Not by Cato's car, like he promised; no I was just brought there by Shane. I just got in the line, let my finger getting pricked and walked through the gate. And then I just walked down the hall with my hands in my pockets, trying to look confident enough to survive high school on my own. There were people everywhere, and I knew that somewhere in this crowd, Cato would be too. But all I wanted to do was just avoid him. Veronica was right, and hell no I wasn't talking to that boy anymore.

At the lockers I just grabbed my books and went away. Well, wanted to go away. I did stopped at Katniss' locker.

'Hey.' I said, trying to sound just as normal as I'd usual spoke. There was nothing happened in their eyes, only a little too much in mine.

'Clove,' She said, but she did sound pretty damn sad. 'Peeta and I broke up.'

'Whoa, we're in this together.' I told her. 'I guess I should get over Cato too.'

'What?' She frowned. 'You two broke up? Why?'

'I don't know actually, but I'm glad it's over.' I answered. I actually wasn't, and I didn't know why I kept telling everyone lies.

'You're not over it, are you?' She said.

I nodded. 'But enough over me, why the fuck are you and Peeta not together anymore? Everything seemed so fine.'

'Too damn long story, I'm not going to tell this in a school hall.' She answered.'Things seemed fine, yeah. But things don't seem like they really are.'

'Okay, but if there is something I can help you with, let me know.' I told her, actually I felt more sorry for her then for myself. But I always thought that others were more important than myself, and one day I would get really in trouble by helping someone instead of myself.

'I will.' She said, then we walked together towards the lesson.

I realised that it wouldn't help me out to avoid Cato outside the lessons, in the hall and places like that, we were in the same classes. God damn.

...

Science, Beetee watched us all sit down. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Cato walking inside the classroom too, I knew that this moment was coming, but still. I didn't know why, but I was just afraid to go in a conversation with him, I didn't even want eye contact. I hated him before, but I have never been scared for that idiot. I just went back to the start, the ''I hate you.'' part. I couldn't see Cato and I getting ever back together, if I wanted it or not, I wasn't even sure about my own feelings.

But for now, I would just ignore him. Avoid him in which situation than possible. I was already sitting next to Katniss. Cato sat somewhere in the class, a few seats behind us. It wasn't close, but I could feel his eyes in my back. I felt the tension to look back, but I didn't. I wanted to, but I couldn't. That would be too easy, I just had to stop whatever feeling I had for him. Even the hate, even the negative feelings. I had to let it go, because I knew that I was going to fall again for that hate thing. It was like I jumped from a flat for him, I was falling. The falling is the most awesome part, but then you crash onto the floor, and you break every single thing inside of you. I wasn't dead yet, although our relation died. Now feeling things for Cato would be like getting injured on that flat, just to fall again. But if I would fall then, I'd definitely be dead.

So no, that wasn't happening. I didn't look behind me, what actually was hard for me. But I just forced myself to keep staring in front of me.

'Then mix the two test tubes, and hold the lighter underneath it.' Beetee said.

I looked up, my daydreaming probably made me miss half of the lesson. Then I noticed he was looking at me.

'Yes, you.' He said.

'Oh.' I said, uh wait what? Every second I would hesitate about it, would make this silence in the classroom only more awkward. I looked at the red, and dark blue substance in the test tubes in front of me.

I just grabbed them, and poured the red in the dark blue tube, then rolled my thumb over the lighter, which caught a little flame. I held it underneath the now a dark purple coloured substance. It started bubbling, then began to fizz.

'Is this normal?' I mumbled, but Beetee would know what he would let us do right?

But then the dark purple fizz caught fire, the test tube made of glass became really hot.

'Oh my god, drop it!' I heard a girl yelling from the other side of the classroom.

'I'm not dr-'

'Drop it now!' Beetee commanded, interrupting me.

I threw it out of the window, and looked after it. While falling it exploded. My eyes widened by what I just had seen. The only thing what remained was a little smoke curling up in the air.

'And that is what you call a chemical reaction.' Beetee held up his chin. Seriously what if that ''chemical reaction'' of him exploded in my hands?

'Okay..' I frowned, not that sure what just happened. And suddenly I regret the fact that I didn't just drop it, but threw it out of the window. Maybe the school would explode or something, that would be so awesome.

...

Later that day, it was the usual lunch time. And when I walked through the hall together with Annie. We stopped at our place in the middle of the hallway, Katniss, not Peeta, Finnick , Thresh and Jackie joined us. Annie and Finnick of course had to kiss each other right in front of me, so I looked away. It had to be the moment that Cato and Marvel just walked by. And there it was, the awkward eye-contact with Cato, which actually did make my heart stop. Damn it, didn't wanted that to happen. I just watched them walking by.

'You were _just _messing around with her, didn't you?' I heard Marvel saying. I clenched my fists, knowing that that her was me.

'Nah, this time I wasn't, to be honest.' Cato answered. Ugh, so all the other times he was? I still felt sorry for Veronica, they were a fucking month together, but no, Cato had to fuck another girl on her birthday. Seriously how unfaithful can you be?

He could go ahead, talking to his friends about me. I wouldn't give a damn anymore.

But once I realised that he already could have told the whole school about me. Actually there were no bad things I had told over myself, to him. Then that thing popped up in my head, what my mom told him. I didn't know what she had told him. But it made him breaking up with me, that would say enough. What if the whole school would know that lie? Then I could forget my whole reputation. Shit, shit, shit! I knew I couldn't just walk towards him and ask if he had already told them about that thing, it would only bring him on the idea to. I just had to trust him enough that he didn't said it already. But I didn't trust him anymore, no really, he could go fuck himself on the next birthday party of whoever would throw a party. Glimmer's party.

...

'Clove.' I heard a female voice saying, not Cato's. Thanks god. I turned around, and saw Glimmer and Cashmere beckoning me.

I sighed. 'Be right back.' Then headed towards them.

'Yeah?' I said, there had to be a reason why they would want to talk to me.

'I heard that you and Cato broke up.' Glimmer said, crossing her arms.

Fuck! They did know it, did that meant that the whole school already knew it?

'That is true.' I said as calmly possible, but couldn't help to ask. 'How do you know that?'

'The whole school knows it.' Cashmere answered.

'That just happens if you date popular boys.' Glimmer filled in. 'Just wait, in one or two days he walks around with another girl hanging on his arm, if you aren't replaced already.'

People kept hurting me, god damn why was this generation so cruel? Although what she said might be true. Actually I had never expected Cato to do that to me, but nothing was what it seemed like, right?

'Well,' Glimmer sighed. 'Now you know the feeling.'

'It wouldn't be very nice of us to throw tomatoes at you right now, right?' Cashmere faked a smile.

'Yeah, sorry about that.' I told Glimmer. Hating this girl, who actually was put in the same situation as me. Okay not totally, she had that Price boy thing. Hating wouldn't make me any better, maybe she _did_ felt the way as I did.

'Now, I can tell you that he's going to try to get you back. That is just what he does when his plan of getting another girl fails.' She said. 'Don't go back. You don't want to do that to yourself.'

'May I ask why?' I asked.

'Oh, it happened to me. Three days after we broke up, before your time here, he wanted me back. And I was so stupid to believe those lies, you know.' She told me. 'Let's just say that giving someone a second chance is like handling them another bullet for their gun after they missed you the first time.'

* * *

**Hope you liked itt.**

**Shall we take some time to not-underestimate Glimmer? Although I totally hate her. **

**Don't forget to review, and have a fucking awesome day :) x**


	39. Mrs Perfection

Two and a half week went by, which was actually just more time ticking by. I thought it would be easier after some time to just get over all of it, but especially the first week I laid awake almost all night. Because for fucks sake, I really missed him. But from then I did actually started losing my feelings for him, including the negative ones. It just all started to come up when that new girl, Mackenzie with her perfectly styled coconut brown hair, came into our class, and started flirting with Cato. If I was in a room with her and two serial killers, and I had a gun with two bullets. I would shoot her twice, right through that stupid Barbie head from her.

And the worst thing, it had been 10 days, and they still didn't broke up. That meant that their relation lasted longer than mine.

Jealous? Yes.

Showing that? No.

Although that Mackenzie was such a bitch, she faked her act of being so damn nice to everyone. You couldn't say right in front of her face that you hated her without feeling a fucking bad person. But god damn I wanted to hit her.

One more hour, one more lesson and it was over, this week. No more feelings getting hurt, no more perfect girls who steal your boyfriend, aka ex. Oh wait, tonight at Glimmer and Marvels party would probably bring some more trouble. And some more drinks to drink it all away, which was very positive in my opinion.

...

I sat together with Jackie in the back of the middle of the class, Mackenzie sat next to the window, in the middle of the row there, together with Cashmere who did actually like her as a friend. Surrounded by boys, who for some reason loved that act from her.

'Mackenzie, would you mind to keep quiet?' Haymitch asked her.

Seriously, even the teachers would treat her nicely, never giving her a point. If I would talk it would be like ''Clove shut your mouth.''

'Oops,' Mackenzie said in a high pitch. 'I'm sorry.'

'I'm getting a headache from that girl.' Jackie said, shaking her head.

Glimmer, who sat in the back of the class too, heard Jackie saying that. 'Let's bring her a headache, shall we?'

She rolled an apple over the ground, which stopped behind my chair.

When Haymitch didn't look, way too busy with Mackenzie, I grabbed the apple.

'Throw it.' Jackie mumbled while Mr. Abernathy turned his back to the class, walking out of the door. 'Now.'

So I aimed, threw it, and hit the bitch right in her face. Instead of insulting me or throwing it back, she started fucking crying. Which got all the attention from the boys around her. Of course Cato stood next to her within seconds.

'Are you okay?' One of them asked.

'Who threw that? I'm so going to hit that person.' Another said.

Okay fuck, my heart started beating faster. Not that my heart was going to stop me saying something. Well, I wanted to say that he could fight me, but I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. God damn I was so weak.

But then the perfectly pathetic bitch got up from her chair, and walked towards me. Eyes of all the boys, including Cato, followed her.

'Why do you hate me so much?' She cried. And I immediately felt bad, she was the devil in disguise, with her karma powers.

'She's just jealous.' One of the boys said.

I glanced over the clique behind her, my eyes stopped when they reached Cato. ''What the fuck was that for?'' He mouthed, looking not really understanding me. He probably only hated me more by doing this. Why couldn't he just understand me in this thing?

The light fell out, all electricity was just gone. I looked around me, just like all the others, this light actually did save me out of this situation, I should be grateful for the light thing. Thank you, electricity.

'Why don't we just all get out of this class?' Gale said, getting up from his chair.

'Yeah, why not?' Cato said, still looking at me. This wasn't like the first day after we broke up, this time it was just full of hate. And it hurt me even more. But after all, everyone walked out of the class, leaving us in a totally darkened hallway. We all headed in one big group out of the hall, hoping that we wouldn't meet a teacher or something.

I understood that all Cato did was just defending his girlfriend in this case, but why couldn't he just see how much he was hurting me with this? I only was one of all these girlfriends he ever had. All dumped like trash. And he still couldn't understand that I actually _had _feelings?

...

Later that day, at 8 pm, Katniss and Jackie picked me up for the party. By that time my whole mood was already changed, if Cato could fuck up my feelings, I could do the same. I wouldn't be avoiding him, running away scared. Nope, if he could play this thing, I'd give him the same back, twice as hard because I wasn't a good person. I could finally admit it, I was not a good fucking person, I was a bitch, not proud to be one though, I really had to work on my attitude.

I opened the door and hopped in the back of Katniss' car, what actually was harder because of the high heels.

'Is Peeta coming to that party too?' Katniss suddenly asked.

'He was invited, so yeah I guess so.' Jackie answered.

'You're not going to avoid him, are you?' I said, ironic, I have been doing that like all the time.

'No. No of course not, I just want to apologize, making things okay, you know.' She answered.

I looked down, she had a point. Hating, taking revenge and shit like that wouldn't get me anywhere. Because of that apple throwing in the classroom, he only hated me more. Actually I didn't knew if I wanted him back or not. I mean, yes I missed him and I might be a little jealous at Mackenzie, but that was not because she was so perfect in whatever she did, could get away with everything. It was a fact that she could kill someone and still be called cute. Nope, I was jealous about the fact that she could live happily ever after with Cato, who used to be _my_ happy ending.

'Please don't tell me Mackenzie is coming too.' I said.

'She befriend Cashmere, so yeah I guess that she's coming.' Jackie said, shaking her head.

'Why do you hate her so much? I mean, she's nice to everyone.' Katniss told me.

'A little too nice in my opinion.' I answered. 'She's a bitch on the inside I guess.'

'She never has done anything wrong in my eyes.' Katniss said.

Even Mackenzie as a subject would bring no good in the conversation, I didn't want to argue about her with Katniss, so I just shrugged.

Katniss parked the car in front of Marvel's house, where the party was given, and damn it that house was big. 'Here we are.' She said.

I opened up the car door, stepped outside, almost faltering because of the heels. But when I got up totally I could find my balance.

The last party brought no good in my way either, but the bad things brought me and Cato more together. A little spark of hope came up in me, but I already knew that it wouldn't be okay anymore. No matter how many times I told myself that everything was going to be fine, that I would get over it. I wouldn't. I could deny it, if I wanted to; but I still loved him. Actually I couldn't imagine the day I didn't love him anymore. But it was hard to love someone who isn't even mine.

We walked inside the backyard, I glanced around, my eye caught a fucking swimming pool. A few people were hanging in that pool, by my surprise not Mackenzie, who probably had a perfect bikini body too. The shed was decorated with coloured lights, and had a cocktail bar inside of it. Me, Katniss and Jackie walked towards it.

I felt a tapping on my shoulder, so I turned around facing Luke.

'Hey.' He said, loud enough to be heard over the hard music.

'Hey!' I said. 'You guys are here too, I see?'

'Yeah, Veronica knew Glimmer, I'm here for the free drinks.' Luke answered.

I grabbed one of the red coloured cocktails. 'Where is she?'

'Somewhere behind the pool.' He answered.

'Okay. I'm going to find her.' I headed off, to ''somewhere behind to pool'' as he said. After a short minute of scanning the place, my eye finally caught her, sitting on one of the beach-styled chairs, which always reminded me of coconuts for some reason.

'Hey, Clove!' She shouted above the music. 'Come join us.'

So I sat down in a group with her, Jason, Al, Glimmer and another tanned boy who had to be Glim's boyfriend Price. Awful name though.

'I can't believe Mackenzie is here.' Veronica said, glancing arrogantly at the girl, sitting somewhere with a huge group, including Cato. Every time Cato was with her, it felt weird for me, but it was completely normal for them to be together at a place, although they weren't talking that much.

'You know Mackenzie?' I asked.

'Who doesn't know that thing. She's such a slut.' Veronica shook her head. 'Shall we count the boys she fucks with at this party. I need your help, I've got too less hands.'

I laughed.

'It was a serious question.' She grinned.

'Well, she has got a boyfriend now, so I do think that it won't be that much.' I said, looking down a bit.

'Who?' She frowned.

'Cato.' I answered, half laughing because I knew that she was going to laugh too. Although I didn't find this funny at all. Heart breaking would be the opposite of ''funny''.

'No fucking way,' She laughed hard, when she finally calmed down she finished her sentence. 'This is the first damn time that I feel bad for him. Ah well, he deserves it.' '

Exactly.' Glimmer said, probably listening to our conversation. It felt like I was stuck in a group who all hated Cato. I would never forget this all, but I was misplaced in here.

'Where is that bitch, by the way?' Veronica mumbled, looking around herself.

I gestured at the girl, standing in the middle of a group boys, of course. Veronica was right, we should feel sorry for Cato. That whore was searching for attention the whole time.

'She used to be the girl next door.' Veronica frowned, but in a way in which she really didn't gave a fuck. 'No really, when I didn't moved yet to Amsterdam, she was a neighbor.'

'Seriously?' I bet Veronica did really know this girl.

'From the time that she was young, always been so fake. She acts so nicely to everyone, like she really opens up to you. But then bam, plot twist. She walks away with your boyfriend.'

I clapped my hands quietly. 'What the hell do you think is happening now.'

'Well, the devil is coming for you.' Veronica sighed, looking upon Mackenzie, walking my way.

'Clove, can I talk to you for a while?' She asked, so sweetly, so perfectly fake. I looked at Veronica, who grinned, but nodded at the same time.

'Yeah sure.' I answered, getting up. I followed her towards behind the shed, no one was there except us.

...

'Why don't you just like me, like all the others?' She said. 'I mean, why do you hate me? I have never done anything wrong to you.'

'I just don't like fake people.' I shrugged, nonchalance was the only thing helping me out of this situation.

'What part of me is fake?' She told me, getting a little annoyed now.

'Hair, make up, attitude, anything else?' I answered.

'Correct,' She said. 'Well, my hair is fake. Make up is nothing but chemicals. Though my attitude is real.'

'How do you mean your hair is fake?' I grinned.

'It's a wig.' She faked a smile.

'Really?' My eyes widened. Mrs. Perfection had a wig, not even her real hair. Whoa. 'Why do you have a wig?'

'Suffered from Leukemia. My hair might need some time to grow back completely.'

'No.' I shook my head. 'No, I don't believe that.'

'Well, you better do.' She looked down.

It was fake, she couldn't have a form of cancer. This wasn't true! 'Take it off.' I commanded.

'What?' She looked up.

'The wig, take it off.'

'No.' Now she looked instead of sad, pretty confident about what she was doing here; an act. 'I don't want people to see me without the hair.'

'How many people do know this all?'

'Everyone, except you.'

'I'm the last to know? Why?'

'Cato already told me that you wouldn't understand it.' She sighed.

* * *

**Meet Mrs. Perfection. **

**Do you think what's happening is real or not? **

**Please let me know ;)**

**Have a nice daaayyy x**


	40. Over and over again

'Why are you lying?' I asked Mackenzie. 'So this is what your act is? Faking a disease? How weak can you be.'

'Y-You don't understand. I only have three months to live, okay.' She defended herself.

'In that case you still would have chemotherapy. You just said your hair needs to grow back completely.' I shook my head. 'Don't fucking lie to me.'

Three months to live, I wasn't sure if she knew about Cato's time thing. But she didn't really know what it meant to count down your days, having a real deadline. She was just another dumb sheep, who didn't know anything.

'I'm not lying!' She shouted back.

'This is weak, no it's really pathetic. You don't fake having a disease, you just don't do that!' I yelled.

'What the fuck is going on here?' Cato said, walking around the corner of the shed. Of course it had to be this timing, I was insulting a girl, also known as his girlfriend, who might have or not have Leukemia. Why did he always had to see my worst side? I was ashamed of myself immediately.

'Clove what the fuck?' He pulled her away from me, where after she turned her back at us, started crying. Fake crying.

Cato stood in front of me. 'What the fuck is wrong with you? You are not going to insult a cancer patient.'

'I-I didn't.' I stumbled. For fucks sake why couldn't I be so damn confident all the time, this only made it harder for me.

'Don't you see it's not real?' I shouted, gesturing at her.

'Don't call me an it.' She said between her fake sobbing.

'You _are _an it.' I hissed back.

When Cato's eyes went back to me instead of her, I glanced over his shoulder seeing her grinning. No doubt possible, she was fake. Everything was one big lie.

'Why don't you fucking believe me?' I asked Cato.

'Because you're wrong in this thing, just accept it that you can't always be right.' He responded.

'Hear who is saying this. I thought you were a realist, weren't you?' I yelled back.

Mackenzie was still laughing behind his back.

'You little bitch.' I muttered, rushing towards her, ready to pull all that real hair out of her head. Well, if Cato didn't stop me. Goodbye plan.

Caught in his arms, which wasn't that bad at all if it wasn't full of anger and hate. First time we physically touched each other since I don't know when. But it had been a while. He pressed me against the wall of the shed, which was pretty damn cold. It became later in the eve, so it was colder. And I could feel that in only a dress.

'You aren't going to attack her.' Cato said. 'Calm the fuck down.'

'Wasn't this how it all started?' I looked down. Memories, sometime I started to hate them because they hurt. Although it were the good memories that did hurt the most, because I simply missed them.

'Clove this isn't the time to bring up old things.' He said. 'You just insulted her.'

'For faking a disease, yeah.' I nodded. 'Don't you believe me? I can better ask; Do you even remember me? Just another face in the crowd of exes. Just a _challenge, _wasn't it?'

'Don't change the subject.' He said. 'And no, I don't believe you. You can't fake a disease, you don't do that.'

'No exactly, but she _is_ doing that.' I needed to get him on my side again. Not only now, but like for a life time? I wouldn't mind to have him for a life time, okay I'd better admit it; I wanted him back, even after all these things which happened. It was no use denying the fact that whatever he would do, I would fall for it over and over again.

'Clove, she is not faking anything. You can't just say these kind of things to people. She has feelings too okay.'

'Oh and I don't?' I frowned. 'No of course, I never had feelings right? No, you have _never _hurt me. Didn't know that until now.'

'Clove-'

'You know what?' I faked a smile, slipping out of his grip, stepping a few steps back towards the corner of the shed. 'It is okay. No really, it's totally fine. Go ahead, say goodbye. Go on and live your life. But I already can tell you it's going to be full of lies. Because people, dear Cato, get fake when shit gets real.'

And then I just walked away. Hoping it hit him though, but that was just what we humans do, liking others pain. Likely to hurt each other and don't even mind about the consequences until they stand right in front of you. Yeah, fuck, there were consequences from anything I would do. Including what I just had done.

...

I sat down next to Veronica and Glimmer again. 'That thing is faking that she has Leukemia.' I muttered.

'You think that she's faking that?' A male stranger behind me said.

'Yes.' I nodded. 'She _is_ faking that. Weak, isn't it?'

'I think that you're way weaker by thinking that, girl.' He said. I shrugged, if Cato wouldn't even believe me then I wouldn't succeed in making a stranger believe the truth.

'They won't believe it, huh?' Veronica shook her head.

'Do you?' I asked her, not sure if she was on my side or not.

'Even Barbie would be jealous on her fakeness, that says enough right?' She rolled her eyes. 'Of course I believe you.' '

And while the seconds ticked by, the news was being spread by the whole crowd.

'Who said that?' I heard someone saying, and of course everyone choose Mackenzie's side. Everyone loved her, so why would they even doubt about choosing my side of the story?

After a while even a girl walked up to me. 'You don't really think she's faking that, do you?' She asked.

'Yes,' I nodded. 'Actually I do.'

Let that be the moment that Cato and Mackenzie just walked away from the shed, walking towards the circle which had formed around me and this blonde girl. Thanks god Veronica was my backup in this thing, well I guessed she was. It was me, and Veronica against this whole group.

'Are you serious?' A small black haired girl said, well I could call her small, but she was almost similar to me. 'You think my friend is faking a disease?'

'Yeah.' I said, to her I was so much more confident in whatever I would say. With Cato it was different, I had to watch my words before I would say something wrong and I couldn't use that really much in my situation now.

The girl stood next to the other blonde bitch, and then Mackenzie herself went towards the little clique too, standing in the middle of them. She crossed her arms. 'What did I ever done wrong to you? I'm trying to be a good person to everyone in my last few months, and all you do is hate me for being who I am.'

'You have never done something wrong to me, but you're lying to all these people behind you. To fucking everyone, and it's not just a lie for your own damn good, you are faking a disease.' I said. These people behind her began to talk, about me. Not in a very good way.

It was like 30 lie believers, against 2, me and Veronica; who probably knew the truth.

'I am not fa-' Mackenzie gasped.

'You know what, screw you all.' Veronica stepped one step forward, gesturing at all these people on Mackenzie's side. 'You all believe the lies because you simply like them. Who would choose the hard truth if you could have a sweet lie, right? You're trying to protect yourself from the truth, by believing whatever that thing told you. Now go stand on your own fucking legs, and pick a side.'

It was almost like an assembly, people voting for one side or for the other. Trying to pick as many people to your side. It was weird. But they actually did do what Veronica said, at least they walked to a side. Which was like 80 % to Mackenzie's side, just because they liked her. But a small group did choose for the truth, smart people, really smart. I glanced over them, actually except Luke, Al and Jason, no one I knew. That meant that Katniss, Jackie, Marvel, Glimmer and Cashmere choose for the other side. Friends, they were, right? Used to always stand on your side if you needed them. Well I needed them right now. And they weren't there. And Cato? What about him? He didn't choose my side, but I couldn't find him on the other side either.

'Clove, I don't have an idea what you are doing here.' Katniss said. 'But just come here and don't make it any harder for yourself.'

'Nope.' I shook my head. I was not leaving my little side, not even for my friends. Although I would go through fire for them, it was easier for them to just come here.

'What the fuck is going on here, and why is the party divided into two sides?' Cato said, holding a drink in his right hand. Awkwardly stepping in the middle of the two sides. Everyone was looking at him, yeah, really embarrassing.

'Choose between me, or this little liar who makes up things that I'm not real.' Mackenzie said, then beckoned him to her side. Of course he would go to that side, after all they still were a couple. 'Come here.'

'Which ''little liar''?' Cato asked.

'Clove.' Mackenzie answered. 'Just come here already.'

Cato looked my way, then back to hers. 'Nah.' He said, and walked towards our side. To _my _side. Did this meant he choose me over her? Did this little one decision meant that we could be okay again? Did this meant that I was just overreacting again? I only had got an answer on that last question, yes.

'Whoa what do you mean you don't choose my side?' Mackenzie squealed. 'Come here?!'

'There is no side.' Cato simply answered. 'It's just a stupid argument between you and Clove. Just calm down.'

'No I can't calm fucking down.' She yelled. 'You're choosing her side over mine!?'

'You have followers enough, I see.' Cato gestured at the group boys behind her, and the girls, and my friends.

She had so many people who liked her, who would choose her over whatever what happened. And I was almost standing alone in this whole thing, but Cato choose my side. And that was basically all I needed, him.

'So, now what? Is there a fight coming?' Jason said to interrupt the awkward silence.

'Hell yeah.' Veronica said.

'I am not going to fight.' Mackenzie said. 'Not in a fucking dress, what do you think of me?'

'Then you just take it off.' One of the boys on her side said. 'No one has a problem with that.'

'Oh stop it you.' She chuckled, looking at him.

'Let's just get over this quickly before that girl makes me throwing up.' I sighed, then took the courage to walk towards her and pulled her hair. And believe me, it was stuck. It was pretty random and awkward to just walk to someone and calmly pull out someone's hair.

'See?' I looked around them. 'This girl is faking that she has Leukemia. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you?'

A few people gasped, and then started talking around, the usual gossip. Cato didn't, he just walked away to inside Marvel's house.

'Cato!' Mackenzie yelled with tears in her eyes, I almost felt sorry for her. Then reminded myself that she deserved it. Her time was as good as over, just like the lies.

He turned around for a moment, walking backwards through the door and yelled back. 'I'm not dating a girl who fakes all this.'

'It's not what it looks like.' She screamed.

'Oh believe me, this is exactly what it looks like.' He said, then turned around again and walked away inside the house.

And for some reason I dropped my drink and went after him. Not only to get me out of that awkward situation there, but I just wanted to know his reaction. And I wanted to know if he still loved me. It was insane, getting back with your ex. I actually didn't know why I still wanted this to just work, like it even was a use. It wouldn't last longer than two weeks anyways. Right now I would put a finger to my friends, I had to just go after him.

...

I stepped into the house, which was even larger from the inside. Never been there before, didn't recognize anything. I glanced around the room, no one to be seen. I slowly walked to the kitchen, cautious for some reason. No one either. Maybe he was upstairs, but then I- oh whatever.

I headed towards the stairs and slowly, without making really much noise with my footsteps I walked upstairs. The steps would be able to hear anyways, but I wouldn't storm up the stairs, no I was pretty cautious. Not completely calm actually, it was just weird to just walk inside someone's totally unfamiliar house.

I opened one of the four white doors, first one was a bathroom, and no Cato wasn't in the bathroom. Second door was probably Marvel's parent's room. I slowly opened the third one, in which Cato was. It was a sort of chill or gaming room, typical boy thing I guess. He wasn't playing anything, just sat on one of the sofa's, not even looking up at me. The room was pretty dark, no lights turned on. Only the twilight lightening the room through the window.

I stepped through the door, and slowly closed it behind me. It was a risk I was taking, he still could be mad at me like an half our ago, but I was sure that he wouldn't really show it. Well at least we wouldn't end up fighting I guess.

I took a few small steps, without making any noise though, and then slowly sat down next to him. I looked outside the window, just like he did. Then just said nothing, it was completely quiet, but the words which weren't spoken could say the most. And unlike the others, this silence wasn't awkward at all.

'So,' He said after forever. 'It has been a while, right?'

I looked up.

'I mean, that we can just sit together without fighting or something.'

'Oh, yeah..' I nodded. 'Two and a half week, to be precise.'

'Can't believe she did this, you don't fake having a disease.' He shook his head.

It all felt so comfortable, but uncomfortable at the same time. I couldn't describe in words how happy I actually was to just talk to him again.

'How could I be so stupid to believe her instead of you?' He sighed.

'You did actually make a mistake in doing that.' I nodded, just to tease him.

'Why didn't you just walked away completely, after all what happened?'

'I-I just didn't want to lose you.' I said quietly, looking at the floor. Still these high heels, which were starting to hurt. I moved my feet in a different position to release them a little from the pain. 'But it's hard to want to keep somebody who isn't even mine.'

'I won't turn my back on you. Not again.' He told me. 'Some mistakes you only make once. The ones you regret.'

I rested my head on his shoulder, I guess he wanted me back too.

'You know, when we first met in that room in which I accidently congratulated you on dying; I never thought that you would be so important to me.'

'Same with the girl who actually kicked my ass in that hallway.' He grinned.

We ended up hugging, these typical long hugs I had been missing the whole time. His arms tightly wrapped around me, it just all felt so damn good, so innocent at the moment. I would just beg it to not go away. Moment please just stay.

'I missed you, okay.' I swallowed. And for the first time in my life, I think I finally understood the one thing I thought I'd never get. It was called love. It maybe was something like jumping from a flat for someone, knowing that after the short moment of joy you would crash onto the ground, laying there broken and dead. But it was about believing in someone, not about the falling but about learning to fly. Staying up in that awesome space of air, holding these feelings, keeping the person you love. And of course, flying would bring ups and downs, but as long as you would keep on flapping your wings, it would be okay. I just had to learn to fly with half broken wings right now, but nothing was impossible.

Just maybe this time, everything would be okay.

* * *

**Nawwww :3**

**Did you guys think that she actually had to get back together with Cato, or is it just one big lie what he was saying?**

**Better said; Is she going to regret this?**

**Please let me knowww :)**

**(sorry i uploaded so late today, had a lot of things to dooo.)**

**Have a nice day ! xoxo**


	41. Seventeen

**Holy shit already the 41'th chapter. **

**That went pretty damn quickly.**

**Here's to all the readers, who were in the beginning like 'Hmm, am I going to read this story?' **

**But they did! And here you are, reading the 41th chap. **

**I just wanted to thank YOU 3**

* * *

A month later, I was aware of the fact that things would never be okay completely. Love was a game, and now with longer than a month I kind of had the high score with Cato, congratulations me. But no matter how well we did, there was the school. There always had to be the school, which was going to kill Cato. I still couldn't accept that they could just do that. It was just the way it was, and there was no way out. Three more weeks, and he was gone. I couldn't imagine the pain I would feel, our relationship could last forever if the school wouldn't stop us, well stop him in living.

Not really much things had changed, Cato still didn't set a step inside my house because of my parents. I still didn't know why he even broke up with me after that 7 days, my mom told him something but I didn't know what. I guess that was going to be a question unanswered.

Veronica thought it was weird that I was dating Cato again, which I could understand in her situation. I told her and Glimmer that I was never going back, but I did and I didn't regret it. After a while they got over it, and Veronica and I became actually pretty good friends. Funny how things could have been so different if I didn't went to that group which was drinking shots at the street back then.

Katniss and Jackie first avoided me, while actually Annie, Finnick, Peeta and Thresh thought that they were overreacting and just still interacted with me. These two girls probably couldn't accept the fact that I was right all the time, but after a while they got over it, and everything was back to normal. Literally, Peeta and Katniss fixed their problem and were back together too. Maybe was getting back with your ex not that weird if it was just meant to be. Although, if it was meant to be why would the school ruin everything for me? Things would happen for a reason, right?

Mackenzie was after all still popular among the boys, got a new boyfriend, or two. Maybe three? People forgave her mistakes, which wasn't just a mistake but a really big thing actually, but if that was what they wanted to do it was not my business. They just really didn't gave a fuck about what she was saying, she was hot in their opinion so she was still popular. Just another reason for me to not understand society.

...

'Clove Kentwell' Effie said. 'You cannot eat during my lesson.'

I looked up at her with my mouth full of cereal, yes I was eating cereal in a lesson. 'But I'm hungry.' I mumbled.

'That are non-manners, I can't use them!' She said.

'Hey, you teachers are eating the whole time during a lesson, and you get paid for it too.' Cato said. 'Better shut your mouth about her eating now.'

'Cato get out.' Effie pointed at the door.

'Bye.' He sighed, then got up from his chair and walked out of the door, knowing that it was no use to not cooperate with whatever a teacher would say, they were always thinking they were right even when they weren't. We students would always pull the shortest straw.

'Okay, so who can tell me why-' Effie interrupted herself. 'Clove can you please stop eating?'

Marvel raised his hand. 'Because she's hungry.' A few in the back of the class laughed.

'Listen, I don't have any time for this shit you all have to tell.' Effie said, drawing three stripes behind my name. 'You'll get another if you don't put that… wait is that cereal?'

I nodded, chewing the small bits.

'Put it away!' She yelled now. 'No, you go out of the lesson to, to Principal Snow with you.'

I rolled my eyes, and got up from my chair. Why would they not allow me to eat during a lesson if I was simply hungry? I mean what kind of rule is that? I grabbed my bag, and walked through the classroom towards the door. Eyes followed me, because of course if there happened just a little thing, no one wanted to miss it.

'I already expected that you would get send out soon.' Cato said, and lit a cigarette once I shut the door of the classroom behind me.

'She can't just get between me and food. That's like they would get between us?!' I mumbled.

'You compare me with food?' He frowned.

'I really love food, so better be flattered.' I chuckled, then got up my toes to give him a kiss on the cheek.

'I am.' He nodded.

'So, where are we going to?' He asked. 'Staying in this fucked up school is not going to make things any better.'

'I have to go to Snow.' I rolled my eyes.

'And you are going?' He laughed sarcastically.

'I don't want to get in any more trouble, they already want my parents to talk with him.' I said. 'I might not even pass this year.'

'Well if that is the worst thing that can happen.' Cato said, sarcastically as fuck.

'I'll be right back.' I said, then turned to the door of Principal Snow's office.

I knocked twice, then slowly opened the door. I shut it behind me, and walked towards the chair on which I sat down. Awkwardly facing principal Snow.

'So,' He said. 'I will not beat around the bush, so I will tell you right away.'

'What is it?' I asked.

'You have been gaining a lot of points. With a total of 52.' He told me. 'You are ranked 17th.'

'What?' My eyes widened. 'On the list?'

'Yes.' He nodded, without any sympathy.

It took a while for me to realise what was going to happen. I was going to die, that was going to happen. The tears collected themselves in my eyes. It was no longer only Cato who was going to die, he could have won that whole thing and would just get out alive. But now we were together in this. This was not okay.

'Well, that was all I wanted to say.' He said, without even the smallest expression of feeling. He was so heartless. 'You can go now.'

'You aren't aware of what you're doing.' I shook my head while I got up from the chair. 'YOU ARE KILLING PEOPLE, FOR FUCKS SAKE.'

'Oh, Clove.' He laughed. 'I know exactly what I am doing. Now go out, I have better things to do.'

I slammed the door of the office behind me. It was like my legs collapsed underneath me, as I slide with my back against the door falling to the floor, and just started crying without any teardrops. It was only the sobbing, the tears weren't coming for some reason.

'Clove?' I heard Cato saying from the hall, then he walked towards me, kneeling down once he got here. 'What's wrong?'

'I'm on the list too.' I sighed.

'Oh,' He looked down. 'What place?'

'Like it even matters on what place I am?! I'm not like that kid in detention back then. Proud because of my ranking place.' I rolled my eyes.

'No, just tell me.' He said.

'Seventeenth.' I answered.

'Don't worry, you won't go in there.' He said. 'It's going to be fine.'

'No.' I shook my head. 'It is not going to be fine, you and I are going to die. That is not fine in my opinion. There is no fucking way out okay.'

'Clove, listen to me.' He told me. 'For you it's not too late, there are three weeks to go. I will get you off that list, okay?'

'How would you even get me off that list?'

'Making others gaining points, duh.'

'You are not going to make others die because of me.' I said.

'There are going to die 24 anyways. It does not matter who they are, as long it's not you.' He said. 'Don't you understand that you just can't die?'

'I am a human being, I am born so I can die.' I nodded.

'Well I don't want you to get murdered by some fools in this school.' He shook his head. 'I am going to fix this, just believe in the fact that you won't go in there.'

'It's hard believing that when there are only three weeks left.' I sighed.

'Maybe our lives don't come in an easy mode, only in the hard one. Not that it matters, you just have to play the game.'

'Yeah true.' I said, getting up.

'But this is going to be a game over, that's for damn sure.'

* * *

**:(**

**Sorry it was a bit short. **

**Just the announcement that she was on the list.**

**Im so sorry..**

**Maybe i am not a fucking good person. **

**REVIEW YOUR REACTION PLEASE. Love you all x**


	42. A hell of a conspiracy

My eyes widened when I sat up in bed, breathing heavily. Just another nightmare of how it should be when we had to kill each other. But by the time I awoke, I lost everything. Couldn't remember what I just had dreamed, maybe that was just better. I sighed, then turned my head to the right, looking at the alarm clock. 2:10. I groaned, then let myself fall on the bed again. Only two am, I didn't want to sleep anymore because I would wake up like this again. I couldn't do that to myself.

But I was so tired, tomorrow I had school and shit. I would need the rest, but I didn't wanted to sleep.

_**2:11: Hey.. you're still up?**_

_[Cato] 2:12: Yeah, you too I see? _

_**2:12: Nightmares ugh.**_

_[Cato] 2:13: About what? _

_**2:13: That whole school killing thing.**_

_**2:13: I can't ever kill someone, I haven't even seen someone dying and I already have got nightmares. What the fuck is going on with me?**_

_[Cato] 2:14: Like I said, I won't let you go into that thing, so actually I don't get why you have these nightmares._

_**2:14: You can't stop it, accept it. If I was ranked 22**__**nd**__** or something, I maybe had a chance of getting out. **_

_[Cato] 2:15: Shut your mouth, I'm ranked 2__nd__._

_[Cato] 2:15: No just kidding, do you need to come over or something?_

_**2:16: Can't you come here?**_

_[Cato] 2:16: Your parents -.-_

_**2:17: Yeah right.. **_

_**2:18: I'm on my way.**_

_[Cato] 2:18: See ya soon_

I forced myself to get out of my bed, feeling a little dizzy once I stood on both my feet. I stood there till that dizzy feeling got away, then stripped off my pyjama and put on a grey sweatpants, and a black shirt. 2 am, who was going to see me? Well Cato was, but he wouldn't give a shit.

Almost knowing that I would spend the other half of the night in his house, I grabbed a thin sweater and a pair of black jeans, then put them both in my school bag. I put on my all-stars and headed out of my room.

Once I quietly walked down the stairs, trying to not make the steps crack, I saw that there was still light downstairs. Ugh, probably my parents were still up, as usual they were having an argument, according to the raised voices they spoke in. I knew that they already had heard me coming down the stairs, so there was not a way back now. So I just walked inside the room, completely dressed.

'What do you think you are doing?' My mom looked up surprised by the fact that I was just ready to leave this house.

'I'm out.' I said.

'Where are you going to?' She asked.

'To Cato's house.' I answered, being honest this time.

'Oh no way.' My mom shook her head. Then she got up. 'Go back to your room.'

'Just let her go.' My dad sighed. 'If she's happier there, then that's fine.'

'Don't you doubt my education.' My mom hissed. 'She's not leaving this house!'

'Mom for fucks sake why don't you just accept him?' I yelled.

'I can't take this shit anymore.' She screamed, grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the front door. Once she unlocked it, she pushed me outside. 'Happy now?' She said.

After she shut, and locked the door again. I mumbled a 'Uh, yeah.' I looked around myself, after 2 am, and I was on the street. I quickly glanced through the window, seeing my mom and dad still arguing. I rolled my eyes, then started walking. Through the little creepy alleys it was a so much shorter way to his house, but if I wanted to walk through them in the middle of the night, well I doubted that.

After all I did decide to just quickly walk through them, because it was so much shorter. But once I walked inside, I regretted it. High walls, painted with graffiti was probably the most amazing thing to see out here, somewhat further in the alley there were fucking creepy people. Not the usual punks who would sit or hang there, I wouldn't be scared for that type of people. But these were the kind of people you would consider as rapists. Couldn't trust anyone out here.

I knew that it was only two minutes left to walk towards Cato's house, but fucking hell I was scared. What if they would do something to me? I had to keep myself from running away, I just walked quickly past them. I heard them calling something after me, but I ignored it and kept walking forward.

...

Once I was finally out of that alley, I headed down the road until got at Cato's house, thanks god that it was over. I rang the doorbell. Cato's brother, Benjamin, opened the door.

'What's the thing between you and arriving here at midnight?' Benjamin asked me.

I laughed, then walked inside the house even before he invited me to come in. This place was like a second home for me. He closed the door behind me, then followed me inside the living room.

Cato wasn't the only one who was still up. He was watching a boxing game together with his dad and brother.

'Clove Kentwell,' Cato said, patting on the seat next to him. 'Put your ass down on this sofa.'

I'm on my way, again.' I grinned, then sat down next to him. 'Why are you watching this?'

'It might be useful to know how to knock someone out okay.' He shrugged, then looked at me. 'I'm not the one who knocked Glimmer out.'

'Did I do that?' I asked. 'Oh yeah! At that party right? At Cashmere's house.'

'Yup.' He nodded.

'She knocked Glimmer out?' Marcus, Cato's dad, asked.

'Wow you should get an award for that.' Benjamin laughed.

I shove myself a little closer to Cato, where after he pulled his arm around me. Let's say that we watched these boxing things like this till 3 am. It actually didn't interested me at all, but I didn't say anything.

After three am, his brother and dad decided to go to bed. While Cato and I stayed downstairs.

...

'Clove wake up.' I heard a voice.

I rolled over, 'Let me sle-' I felt myself falling, landing on the wooden floor. I groaned, and got up, looking around myself. Clearly not my house, but I recognized it immediately. Being here meant no problems, no parents arguing about whatever they didn't like. Couldn't believe that I did fell asleep, without these nightmares this time.

'What time is it?' I asked him.

'7:15.' He answered. 'You better get ready.'

'Ready for what?' I frowned.

'School?' He said.

I let myself fall on the sofa again, face pressed in the pillows. 'I'm never ready for school.'

'Me neither. But you ''didn't want to get in more trouble.'' Right?'

I forced myself to get up, and waddled towards the kitchen.

'Where's the cereal?' I asked, opening a kitchen cabinet.

'Above you.' He said.

'Oh.' I said, reaching for the package. Just another disadvantage of being small. I had to climb up the counter, then I was finally able to get the cereal. I looked at the back of the package, where the fuck were the calories standing?

Cato grabbed the thing out of my hands, 'What's the thing between you girls and checking these calories? It's fucking annoying.'

'Well, I prefer to not get fat.' I nodded.

'You won't.' He said, filling the bowl with the colorful cereal.

'Oh god it's colored.' I frowned. 'It's like a rainbow in a bowl.'

'Nicely worded.' He laughed.

...

Later that morning, at school. Mrs. Donner, our English teacher, send me out towards Principal Snow's office because I was too late and talking during the lesson. Why always me?

So I walked down the hall, not sure if it was "hall"or "hell". Walking through "hell" would be more accurate to this situation. I knocked twice on the door, as usual. Then opened the door slowly, sneakily looking if he was there, as usual. It became almost a routine, the last time I came here pretty damn often. But this time he wasn't there.

I looked up, then closed the door behind me. No, he really wasn't there. I just sat down on the seat in front of his desk.

I almost got an heartattack when I heard someone speaking. "You're still there?"

My eyes stitched around, who the fuck said that? After a while I realised that the speaking voice was coming from the computer. Video chat. Principal Snow was video chatting with another man.

"Yeah I'm still here." I answered in a very low voice, similar to the Principal's.

"Your voice sounds different." It said.

"It's the connection." I said, still in that low voice. I was just videochatting as Snow. Very sneaky actually.

I locked the door of the office, knowing that if someone would come in, I'd be in very big trouble. Better said; I would be executed immidiately. Why wasn't Cato send out too, he could have helped me in this. It was a golden chance to finally know things, but so damn dangerous.

"Only two weeks left, right" I heard him saying in a creepy laughter. "I cannot wait till I see them dying."

This was sick, so damn sick. I don't know who this man was, but he _saw_ us dying. Would there be camera's everywhere? I didn't want this man to see me dying. What the fuck was this for conspiracy?

"Yeah me too." I answered.

"It's just so much fun to see these annoying teenagers dying." The man said. "Don't you think that people start to know this all?"

I didn't want to, but I almosr threw up in that office.

* * *

**Oh my gaaaw. **

**Yep this chap turned out to be weird and awkward**

**Plot twist bitches .**

**Reactions? Please? xoxo**


	43. Acceptance of dying

**It might sound a little weird, but I was personally almost crying while writing this chapter. **

**I know that I am an awful writer, but just the feels :'(**

**Let me know if you can keep your eyes dry.**

**Have ''fun'' reading. ;)**

* * *

'Cato? Can I borrow you for a while?' I stormed inside the classroom. 'We need to talk.'

'This does not sound really positive.' He looked up.

'Uh oh.' Marvel mumbled.

'Clove, I had send you out. You can't just borrow some classmates right now.' Mrs Donner said.

'No, it's okay.' Cato said, getting up. Then he walked towards me.

'You can't just walk away now.' Maysilee frowned, getting serious now.

'Oops.' I said. 'I just did.'

Then me and Cato just walked through the door, leaving the confused class there. They probably had worse expectation, because the most breakups start with that ''We need to talk.'' So I think I used the wrong words, I just wanted to tell him a lot.

'Okay.' Cato said. 'Tell me?'

'Not here.' I grabbed his wrist, then pulled him through the halls of the school, on my way to the exit.

'Just say it already.' He sighed.

'First we need to get out of here.' I told him.

But he stopped walking. 'Clove, if you want to break up you can tell that anywhere.'

I looked up. 'I don't want to break up, not at all.'

'Oh.' He said.

'Did you?' I looked down. The fact that he expected me to break up with him, was maybe because he wanted to get over with it himself.

'No.' He shook his head.

'Good.' I said, then walked further. 'Come.'

...

Once we were outside, I noticed that it actually was pretty damn warm. The sun shined right into my eyes, where after I was blinded for a while. Had to wink several times to get my sight back. I looked around to see if there were any camera's, but there were none. At the parking spots were already people hanging and shit, so we sat down on the iron bench next to the big oak tree on the right side of the entrance.

'Now, say it.' He said.

'So you know that I was just send to Snow's office, right?' I said.

He nodded. 'Yeah..?'

'Well, so I came there and he wasn't there. And then I heard a voice coming out of that computer of him.' I told Cato.

'What did it say?'

'''Are you still there?'' So I changed my voice, and just answered that I was still there.' I answered. 'But after a while the conversation went over these two weeks; you know when we all die.'

'Yeah?' He raised his eyebrow.

'That man knew about it all, and said that he couldn't wait to see us dying.'

'Whoa wait, he is going to _see _it?'

'Yeah.' I confirmed. 'Well, later I saw that man, the director from The Imperial Entertainment.'

'Our dads work there, right? At TIE.'

'Do you think there is a connection between Entertainment and watching us die on a screen? Because there are camera's everywhere in this building. And I personally don't think that they're going to turn them off when we have to kill people.'

'They make tv screens and electronica there, so maybe they want to test their screens?'

'With teenagers deaths?' I frowned. 'Well I don't know about that, but it's sure that he can see us.'

'What is he's not the only one.' Cato said. 'What if the whole company can see it.'

'Then that's not really positive for us. Oh god, imagine it. Your dad just works an usual day, and then he sees his child dying on screens everywhere. That's awful.' I looked down.

'Yeah I know..' Cato sighed.

'But what if this is not the only company who is able to see it.' I said. 'What if all these directors just want to see people dying, for their entertainment.'

'That's sick.' He shook his head. 'Let's hope that that is just a thought of you.'

'It's a weird world where we live in.' I nodded. 'People who like to see others' misery. To watch the upcoming generation dying on a tv screen in the office. Where did it went wrong in this world, damn.'

...

'I don't want to go back inside.' Cato said. 'Let's just leave this place.'

'Yeah why not.' I shrugged, then followed him as he got up.

My right hand intertwined with his' as we walked over the perfectly laid bricks on the ground, towards his car. Once we got there, I opened the door and hopped down on the now more familiar seat, next to the driver's one, where he always sat except the times that I would drive. I didn't crash a single time, ha!

'You know, we would make it together.' He said. 'I mean, if we weren't going to die, I could see us once upon a time getting married'

Only the imagination was just perfect. Knowing that once upon a time our future children would ask how we met each other, and then we would have such a stupid answer as 'Well, I congratulated him with dying.' Actually I wasn't sure if I had to tell that we survived high-school in the not usual way. That our school would kill teenagers. But if I would keep it a secret for them, I would be just like all these parents nowadays, keeping us from the truth of the Hunger Games.

Blinded by love feelings, but after a while I could see the reality again. There wouldn't ever be such an awkward moment in which I could tell my kids how we met each other, they would never be born anyways. No chance of existing for them, gone like all the hopes and dreams I ever had. That I ever thought of being a mom of such a happy family, living a near perfect life. I wanted a happy ending too, but I realised that I was going to get murdered inside this school. Goodbye dreams, hello agony.

Two damn weeks and then it was just all over. Right now I even began to appreciate the fact that I could breathe. I might have been falling for Cato, trying to spread my wings and fly inside the happy life. But there was a wall coming right in front of me, and I knew that I would crash hard. There was no going back in time, it just ticked by and every second that you would be waiting for something was such a waste. Every fucking second had to mean something, they were important. That was the feeling of running out of time.

There were so many, dumb awesome ways to die in life. Which could happen anytime, anywhere. You couldn't know when it was going to happen, and that was the fun part of living. We people can just take chances in life, and then there is a whole plot twist in our story. Things like risks, although if you didn't risk anything in life, it wasn't fun. And when you risk losing your fun, you basically risk everything. But in my situation, that risk was gone. Death was just coming in two weeks, no changes available. It was a path you could walk in, but once you were walking in it, you got pushed and couldn't turn back anymore.

'We would.' I nodded, finally replying to what Cato had said. Then sighed 'But we can't. And then I don't mean if my parents wouldn't allow me, because I wouldn't give a fuck about what they tell me. But well yeah..'

'We are going to die.' Cato filled in for me. 'But we are going to die _together_.'

I could see it in front of me, my last seconds of existing on this world, though spending these seconds with that perfect blond haired boy next to me. Dying hand in hand, just because it would be so cute. It would be cute to see, although I wouldn't do it for anyone else only for myself. The last moment on this earth I wouldn't be thinking about anyone but Cato. I wanted to stay with him till the very end. Even if our hearts weren't beating, love would be still alive, right? But- god damn why did there always had to be a ''but''- after they would notice that we were death, no matter how cute we were laying there. They would get our bodies away, telling our parents that it was a car crash, although his parents have heard that lie once before. And then the funeral, since I was young I never understood why the ''fun'' was put in ''funeral''. We would be buried both in separated graves, both laying in these cold wooden boxes which would be dragged and put inside the ground. And then I would just lay there till the end of time, till my bones were rotten away. I would never, ever see him again.

The world just would keep on spinning, people would went on with their lives. But after all, it would already have ended for me. Not only because I was dead, but because of the fact that I would have lost him.

That was just the thing, there was no acceptance of dying, nor of losing the person you would love till death, and further.

* * *

**I**

**just**

**can't.**

**:'(**

**After reading this, would you mind telling me what's going on in your head right now? Please review it.**

**Love you all x**


	44. The last day 'till summer

**I just wanted to say that I really love you all for reading this story so far.**

**Because it actually is damn far.**

**A lot of good stories have something like 24 chaps, and we are now at 44.**

**Thanks to you for having a good patience!**

* * *

'Clove, you really have to eat breakfast.' My mom told me.

'I'm not hungry.' I sighed. No matter how much I actually hated this house, I had to keep the tears in my eyes, knowing that this was the last time that I would be here. I swallowed.

'Why so depressed?' My dad asked. 'This is the last day before summer begins!'

'Like that even matters.' I rolled my eyes.

'Then you're finally free from school, right? Holidays and fun?'

'We're never free.' I answered. 'The warmth of the sun in the summer can never beat the world so cold where we live in.'

'The sun is so much bigger than the earth.' My dad shook his head. 'In fact that is possible.'

'It's not the world that is cold, dad. It's the people. The human beings who walk around here, only leave it colder.' I thought about Snow, and all the others who would enjoy watching someone die. Sickening was it.

'Why so depressed, Clover?' Shane frowned. 'School's finally over. Be happy or something. You didn't want to tell me that you're going to miss school right?'

'Missing school?' I laughed. 'Hell no!'

Missing my life, yes. But I didn't told him that. It was the very last day, this evening Cato and I would be locked in a school, with 22 others. I ended up place sixteen, which was my life in years. And at ''sixteen'' it all was going to end. I still couldn't accept the fact that I was dying soon, while actually I am dying the whole time, since my birth. It just couldn't be all over now, sixteen years were too less. I had so much to do left, this was what Cato meant with regrets. Regrets and limits, the things we would avoid in life. But was I actually still alive, thinking about the death all this time?

First I thought that I could just skip school today, which would save my life. But yesterday the whole group of 24 people, including me, Gale, Cato and that boy with curly brown hair we met in detention. They told us that they would shoot a bullet through our heads if we would skip school. Cato and I first set up a whole plan of escaping, but then it just fell apart and it was nothing but lost time.

There was around 4% chance that I would win it all, and just go on living and shit. But if I would win, that meant that Cato probably would die, the hospital wouldn't really help him anyways.

'Now come, come. Go to school.' Mom clapped her hands.

I forced myself to get up from the chair. And now what? Would I say them goodbye? I guess that would be a little weird, they didn't knew about anything and that had to stay that way.

Every day I didn't felt like going to school, but this time it was different. The usual days with lessons, it wouldn't be the same. It would never be the same, not that there would be an ''ever'', because probably this day would be my day of dying. Life was so much easier in the lunchbox days, where you would play outside with other kids. All innocent and happy, and back then you _wanted _to grow up. But it was a trap, growing up. Choosing for the wrong colleges, in which they would kill you. Stuff like that.

I grabbed my bag, then looked around the room for the very last time. Said 'Goodbye.'

'Farewell.' My dad responded, not knowing at all what really was going on.

I closed the door behind me, as I walked on the path which lead me to the normal street. I glanced one time behind me, and looked up at the house. I hated it, and everything what happened here. But knowing that it would be the last time that I was home, the last time I was able to eat breakfast and sit together with my family. The last time spend with the people I knew since my birth.

...

I sighed, then moved on and headed down the street. Once I walked around the corner, there was an old homeless man sitting with his back against the wall of a house. I would never be that old, nor homeless, or that gender. Probably he didn't get his happily ever after, no happy ending. In that case we were equal.

Just like we did during this whole month, Cato had parked his car on the road around the corner from my house, deliberately not in front of my house, because my parents, especially my mom, would see it. After all that time they still wouldn't accept him, but now it was too late. I opened up the door, and slowly sat down on the seat. Curious with everything I did, too afraid to make mistakes in whatever I did. Usually I would just hop down and slam the door behind me.

'So,' Cato said, he clearly didn't want to show it, but I could hear the pain in his voice. 'This seems like it's the last time.'

'It seems like it.' I nodded.

'Could you sleep at night?' He asked me.

'No.' I answered. 'Did you?'

'No.' He sighed. 'Things you would regret?'

'Enough.' I said.

'Then you haven't lived enough.' He said.

'That just happens if you have too less time.' I shrugged.

'It's not about the time, it's about what happens within.'

'And I have done too less in that space of time, that's for damn sure.' I nodded.

He drove the car out of the parking spot, down the road. One hand on the steering wheel, the other intertwined with mine. These things became so usual that I would barely notice them, but in the end these little things were the ones which counted. It was hard to say, but this was the end.

'I actually never thought that I would make it, unlike others' I said. 'And this was the only time I hoped that my expectations wouldn't become reality, but I guess that it is.'

'Make what?' He asked.

'That overused by hipsters quote.' I read it out loud from my phone screen.

'At 6 she wanted to be a ballerina, At 8 she wanted to be a vegetarian,

At 10 she wanted to be a teacher, At 13 she wanted to be pretty,

At 16 she wanted to be dead.

And there's the ''but'',

At 18 she graduates high school.

Let's not read the rest, because it isn't going to be that way. We can just skip that part because it's never coming. Well, whoever has made this thing, I am 16 too and trust me I want to stay alive for fucks sake.'

'They simply don't know what the death includes.' Cato shrugged. 'Stupid sheepish people, as you said.'

'I know.' I nodded.

'And, tell me.' He asked. 'Did you liked living on this earth?'

'Let's say that I have a lot more things to do, which I will never be able to do.' I said. 'Without all these cruel people; yes I did like existing.'

'Life was just a trip on this meatball sized earth, just a road where you were driving on.' He told me, parking the car in the spot. 'And now we are in the middle of the end.'

'Welcome to hell.' I said, opening the car door.

...

Once we stood in the row, in front of the oh so familiar tables. I realised that the finger pricking was something I wasn't going to miss about life. I still didn't get the clue of it, just because of the fact that there was no fucking sense in this. The woman pricked my finger, dipped my blood on the paper and scanned it. I walked through the little gate.

'Clove!' Katniss yelled through the hall, then ran towards me with her arms spread wide. 'It's almost summer!'

'Yay!' I fake smiled.

I wasn't happy at all that it would end today. Revering this day since I knew about the killing thing, which I actually heard from Cato. And today was the day, which I hoped would never exist.

Cato went to his friends, I walked with Katniss towards the lockers. Annie went towards my locker too, while I grabbed my books and closed it. We talked about stuff that didn't matter for me at all, I wouldn't live these moments they talked about anyways. Let's just say that I wasn't really listening. Then the bell rang, and the halls abandoned because all the students including me went to their lessons.

Biology, I sat down next to Cato. Like I promised myself, from now till the moment I would take my last breath, I would spend as much as possible time with this boy.

Mrs. Trinket started talking about I don't know what. I didn't listen, I was drowned in my own thoughts way too much. I nervously tapped with my fingernail on the fake wooden table, glancing over the clock the whole time. When I first heard it I didn't realise what it meant, but I really got Cato's fear for time right now. I was afraid of time ticking away too!

And it did, the time ticked by, like it always did. But at times I wanted the time to last a little longer, I only had to wink my eyes and poof, away was the time. Disappeared out of nowhere.

During the break, we stood in our usual group in the middle of the hallway, with Finnick, Annie, Katniss and Peeta, Thresh, Jackie, Marvel, Cato, Glimmer, Cashmere and her weird brother Gloss. All of them were talking, and even now I couldn't listen to a single conversation of them. Still drowned away in my own thoughts, while they were happily talking about whatever they would do in summer, I was preparing how to die less painful then it could be.

Another bell rang, next lesson. It was like I became a zombie, warn the people; the zombie apocalypse had already started. I was just following anyone around me, during the lessons staring out of the window the whole damn time. Like it was important to learn something right now. Nothing mattered anymore.

I still could deny the fact, but I was so damn scared. I looked at the clock, twenty minutes left till the bell would rang, which would signify the ending of school, the begin of summer. My heart beat two times every second, which usually would be the same during a cardio training, but this time it was the beat of agony. For everyone it looked like Cato and I were just holding hands now, but they couldn't see that I was literally squeezing it so I wouldn't freak out.

Suddenly the class began to yell a countdown.

'10,' They yelled, all perfectly in sync. '9, 8.'

I glanced on the clock, seeing the last seconds ticking by.

'7!' They screamed now. '6!'

I swallowed.

'FIVE, FOUR, THREE,'

I looked at Cato, who was already looking at me. I immediately got whatever his look meant.

'TWO!'

We were going into something where after we would never see something again. And I already knew that it wasn't going to be a pretty damn sight to watch corpses.

And then the very last bell rang.

* * *

**Ready for this?**

**'Cause I'm not, actually xD.**

**Please reviewww.**

**And let's get the real shit started.**


	45. The beginning of the end

Everyone yelled, then ran out of the classroom. If I didn't know any better, I would think it was a group of animals gone wild.

'Clove, come!' Jackie called my name, beckoning me. They could see summer in their sight, I saw my death scene.

A cracking voice came out of the speaker, calling the twenty four names, and asked us if we wanted to go to the detention room. So that was their lie, used to get us towards the room where after we couldn't escape anymore. I looked at Cato again, god damn I was so terrified, nervous and angry at the same time. Mixed feelings were the worst you could ever have. If a feeling was just a colour, love would be red or pink, sadness would be blue, happiness yellow. But if you would mix them all together it became too much, and then it would turn out into a colourful black. Sad enough, feelings were more than just a colour.

'Let's go.' Cato sighed, then got up from the chair.

I nodded slightly, then stood up too. My hand searched his' as we slowly walked out of the classroom. Every step was so heavy, I felt my heart pounding through my whole body, let's just say that I wasn't steady at all. One, two. One, two. I counted the steps, to calm myself down. Just like a little child would count sheep, but after all still couldn't sleep. Neither could I calm down.

'Nervous?' He asked me.

'Terrified,' I said. 'that would describe my feelings a little better.'

'Oh, you have to act like you don't know yet that you are going to die. The rest doesn't know it either, if they notice that you know something, they know that I have told you things. Well, in that case I can forget it. I'll be dead by then.' He told me. 'Got it?'

'Conceal, don't feel.' I nodded.

'Don't let them know.' We finished in sync.

But they already knew that they were going to die right? After all Snow told me about it at my first day. Or maybe I was the only one?

Just talking to him would make everything a little better, just because I was aware that he was still there. Even when we would be arguing, it would be a sort of comfortable. We had a weird kind of relationship. We could fight, argue, kiss, dismiss, love, kick some ass, laugh. That was just us.

And this was just it, I realised that we were already standing in front of the detention classroom. I couldn't even hear myself thinking as my heartbeat overwhelmed every other sound I could hear. I looked at Cato.

'Whatever is going to happen,' He said. 'Know that I love you.'

'I love you too.' I replied. I took a deep breath, wrapped my hand around the doorknob, and pressed it down. The door opened up, and I knew that there was no way out anymore when it shut behind me.

I glanced around the classroom, when I noticed that there were way less girls than boys here. I counted only 7, plus me would be 8. That was only one 3rd of the total number. The tables were perfectly lined up in four rows from six seats. Haymitch, Effie, Brutus and Enobaria stood in front of the classroom, ready to tell us what was going to happen. There were four seats empty, two of them were next to each other, though separated by the way in between. Cato and I decided to sit down there.

I looked around, when my eye caught that brown curly haired boy we met earlier in this room. Weird human being, although I would kill someone to see his expression if he heard that he was going to die, literally. The last two walked inside the room, Gale and another skinny girl with dark coloured clothes and hair. She looked so tired of living. I would never judge anyone at what they looked like, but I could say that she didn't really want to live on this planet anymore. Well, in that case I could congratulate her. Then she was in the right room.

'Didn't expect to see you here.' Brutus kneeled down next to my table. 'You always seemed such a brave, good student.'

'Brave enough to don't follow your rules?' I blurted out.

'Obviously.' He nodded. 'I wanted to wish you good luck.'

'Good luck for what?' I frowned like I didn't knew anything.

'We'll tell you soon.'

Their fucking conspiracy was going to mean my death, and now he was feeling oh-so sorry for me? He wanted to wish me good damn luck. Well go fuck yourself, Brutus. I don't need your luck, I was going to die anyways.

He got up, then walked to the front of the classroom where the other teachers were standing too. Haymitch locked the door

. 'What is going on here?' A small boy said, even smaller than me, he was probably at his first year here. Thirteen years old, maybe? Too young to die, just like all the others around me

'I'll tell you what's going on.' Effie said. 'Twenty three of you will probably not go out anymore. Twenty three of you will be dead in a few days, if the hospital can't save you anymore. And I will promise that they will do _anything _to keep you _alive.'_

Lies, they were all lies. Atleast I did knew the truth, the truth was what was happened to Cato's brother. I didn't even know his name, but he was killed by the fucking hospital, then covered up his death by blaming it on a car accident. So much fakeness around here. A girl in the front of the class started crying, heart breaking it sounded. A few others gasped, but tried to conceal their feelings.

'You,' Haymitch said to that crying girl. 'Come here.'

Still sobbing she got up from her chair, and slowly walked towards him. He turned her around, so she faced the class, us. I made eye contact with the girl for just a second, but within that second I could read every facial expression she had. Her eyes still full of that weird salty water, but I could see that she was more than just terrified. I felt so sorry for her.

My eyes widened as Haymitch pulled out a gun, and held it to her head. Oh no, he wasn't going to shoot. This couldn't be happening. But he did pull the trigger, followed by the sound of a shot. The girl's legs collapsed underneath her body, where after she fell on the ground, a pool of blood flowed out of her head. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, I could do nothing but just stare at the motionless, hollow body.

The flashback of her frightened look in her eyes, I was the last she ever made eye contact with. Maybe it was a silent scream for help, and I didn't. I couldn't. The sound of the shot echoed through my head for a while. And made me think about that elder woman in that alley, who was shot by the two policemen. But she did have had a life, this girl was no older than fifteen.

'If you are badass enough to not follow our rules,' Brutus yelled. 'Then don't fucking cry over the consequences.'

'Twenty three left now.' Enobaria said. 'Only one comes out.'

I swallowed. Blinded by what I just had seen, paralyzed by fear.

...

'After we have finished our introducing, we will go to the hall next to the cafeteria. There are twenty four, uh now twenty three tables in a really big circle.' Effie told us. 'There will be a countdown, after that you jump from that table and run to I don't know where. There are no such things as weapons, you just have to do it with whatever is laying inside the school. You have to kill each other, till one remains. That one will be graduated from then.'

'You can decide who you want to kill all by yourself.' Brutus told us. 'But trust me, when this all begins, you wished that you have had made a better reputation this year, which might save your life.'

'Sometimes we can tell you all something by using the speakers. The territory you are available to walk on is the whole school, including the outside.' Enobaria finished. 'Any questions left?'

'Do you have something like a last advice?' A pretty muscular boy in the back of the class said.

'Stay alive.' Haymitch winked.

'And how do we stay alive?' I asked, my voice sounding a little shaky.

'There is no such thing as _''we''. _But you know, just by not getting killed.' Haymitch said.

I already could forget it, my whole life. Twenty of these people around me could kill me with one damn move, not that height mattered, but these were so much stronger than me. Thanks god that I knew Cato, because if I wouldn't I'd probably be afraid of him too.

'Then let's go.' Effie said, opening up the door.

Everyone stood up, then walked outside the door after Effie and Enobaria. Brutus and Haymitch were in the back of the row of people. We all almost marched after them like a group of soldiers.

Brutus patted me and Cato on our backs. 'I hope that one of you two wins this thing.'

'There is no such thing as one of us two.' I said.

'We get out alive together, or not at all.' Cato filled in.

'Well good luck with that, in that case.' Brutus shook his head.

'You two can be cute together right now or something.' Haymitch said. 'But in a matter between life and death you two will talk different.'

'No,' I said. 'Even if I would get out on a very magical way in which I would beat all these tall motherfuckers. I will never be able to live with the pain to have seen him dying.'

'You'll make it harder for yourself this way.' Said Brutus. 'But may the odds be ever in your favor.'

I heard that before, somewhere. It was related with the Hunger Games. But if I would ask about that, I'd get a bullet through my head too. I was still fucking scared, but the acceptance of dying came closer. I already knew that these odds where they were talking about, would never be in our favor.

I climbed up the table, while some of these boys just jumped on them. Then the fact that I had to kill someone too, came up in my mind. No matter how angry I ever would be, I would never be a murderer. I just wasn't built like that, literally. I mean a girl from 5'5 feet, could probably not kill someone way taller. But hey, I had Cato on my side, while all these other motherfuckers probably didn't even think about teaming up. Together we maybe had a chance of surviving. If he wouldn't get blinded by the chance to survive alone…

The countdown began to count. Cracking voices of all these four teachers who just lead us here, sounded through the speakers. By this time, I was getting nervous and terrified again. Hands began to sweat, feet so unsteady that I just could fall off the table.

'Five.'

'Four.'

'Three.'

'Two.'

'One.'

I jumped off the table, but when I reached the ground I was just paralyzed and couldn't move anymore. Everyone was running, except one of the smaller boys, who stumbled down the table, falling down on the ground.

'Can we start over again, please?!' He yelled. Poor guy.

My eyes searched for Cato, who by my surprise, was literally inside of the cafeteria, collecting food. There was no such thing more dangerous than staying in this hall, these taller, muscular boys were all fighting each other in the middle instead of teaming up. So strong, yet so dumb.

One of the girls ran inside the cafeteria too, trying to attack Cato. My heart started beating faster, until the moment that he just hit her one damn time, where after she fell onto the ground. I sprinted through the open space, past these boys fighting, then pushed open the door of the cafeteria.

'Get as many food as you can.' Cato told me.

So I did, I gathered as much food as my arms could hold, but did sneak around a few times before someone would come in. Damn it, the adrenaline was flowing through my body. But that did keep me from being terrified. I still was fucking afraid to just bump into someone, being noticed by someone, but okay.

'And now what?' I quietly asked Cato.

He shrugged, then gestured at the door behind the fridge. 'Back door.'

I followed him through that back door, still looking behind me several times. The back door leaded us to a hall, with stairs in sight.

It was weird how a hall you have walked in for the past months, just walking from lesson to lesson, transformed into an dangerous open space where you could see people, which would notice you and kill you. How the cafeteria you always bought food from, was the middle of the battlefield. Cato and I ran up the stairs, my heart started beating faster as I realised that there just could be someone on top of the stairs, standing higher than us which would be the ideal position to kill someone. But when we came up there, there was no one to be seen.

Again the flashbacks of that girl being shot in _front_ of us all, flashed before my eyes. The sound of the gun still echoed through my head. But then there was the school bell ringing.

I looked up. 'Is it all over yet?'

'That bell signifies a death, Clove.' He face palmed.

'Oh.' I mumbled. 'Rip.'

'Though we are one step closer to surviving.' He shrugged as we walked down the hall.

It was silent after these words were been spoken, so empty. Our footsteps were the only sound which was made in this area. Bad luck if you were wearing heels today, those things would click the whole time on the floor, what would betray your location. Plus you wouldn't be able to run for your life on these things, however you could use the heels as a stabbing weapon.

Cato slowly opened up the door of our usual science classroom, then checked if there was someone inside. He beckoned me. So I walked after him, inside the room in which I had almost blown up my arm with that fire thing. I closed, and locked the door behind me, so no one could come in. I laid down all the food I was carrying on one of the tables. He shove a chair under the doorknob, blocking anyone who would want to come in.

Then I came to mind that whatever we would do, would be seen by that director of The Imperial Entertainment, maybe even by all the workers including our dads. And then in their eyes, would our death been seen. Awful, so damn awful. Although I didn't felt like that was the only company who could see these things, maybe all these high-people in whatever kind of company would watch us die, just for fun.

A scream reverberated through the hall, piercing my heart. Followed by the school bell, which was now I knew that it meant another death, wasn't really positive. I would rather help someone than murder someone, I was just not mentally ready to end someone's life. I wasn't a that bad person. And even if that meant the difference between life and death, or you would die as a person, or live as a murderer. I didn't want to be responsible for someone's death, I would leave so damn much pain at the family, and friends of that person. Plus I would end someone's dreams to live on this planet, because we all did that. And I was just one of them.

'So here we are.' Cato told me. 'In the beginning of the end.'

* * *

**For the ones that still have hope, well let's not say that out loud.**

**No, there was no magical way to escape from it all. **

**They are in the fucking middle of the end.**

**Or the beginning, whatever.**

**The end has three stages; the beginning, middle and then end of the end, which includes death.**

**WHAAAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN? I WANNA KNOW.**

**Have a fucking nice day xoxo**


	46. The middle of the end

The only thing I saw was twilight, as I stared out of the window. The clock on the wall showed that it was 10 pm. Just locking yourself in this classroom was a pretty good way to stay alive for a while. According to the bells who had rang though the school building, there were 7 of us dead, plus that girl who was shot in the classroom. Damn it, every time I thought about her, the flashbacks came back and I hated to see it over and over again.

'Do we actually have a plan or something?' I asked Cato. 'Like staying in this classroom and wait till everyone is dead?'

'Sometimes you simply don't need a plan. Just breathe, and well yeah, we'll see what happens.' He shrugged. How the fuck could he still be so damn nonchalant while we were in an school, were the students were literally killing each other, 8 lives had been spend already, and he was like fucking calm.

'But we want to win this thing right?' I frowned. 'We need a plan.'

'Do you want to kill someone?' He asked me.

I shook my head. 'I don't want to be a murderer.'

'Then we are not going to win, easy as that.' He was right, if we wanted to win this shit, we had to kill people.

'It's a game they set up for us.' He said. 'You don't have much choice in what your destiny will be, but you can choose whether you want to play it in the easy, normal or hard mode.'

'Well staying inside here without doing anything but eating food and being fucking terrified, is probably the easiest option. So I'll go for that one.'

He looked me in the eyes. 'Now it's too bad that we don't do the easy way.'

'Uh well, this time we do.' I mumbled. Was he serious that crazy to go all the way acting badass and go out inside these halls and practically kill himself doing that?

'We _never _do that.' He told me.

'Well this time might be one exception, because it's as good as suicide to go out there right now. You seriously aren't going to tell me that we are just play the normal or hard way. I'm not that crazy.' I raised my eyebrow.

'''Normal'' is not in my vocabulary either.' He shook his head. 'It's just like limits, you just simply need to cross them, no exceptions.'

This was what I was afraid for, the whole killing thing could be just a limit, which was automatically a challenge for him. He couldn't just leave this classroom, leaving me here. We would stay together till the end. Stupid limits. Brutus and Haymitch were right, in a matter of life and death you would talk differently, god damn why did people always change into the bad version instead of the better.

'We are _not_ going to cross this one!' I told him. 'We just can't- No! We don't do that.'

'Are you afraid?' He said in just a voice to tease me, well wrong moment.

'Well yes, I am afraid of dying.'

'So death is a limit?'

'Cato for fucks sake if you want to kill me, just do it already.' I sighed, then turned away from him.

'Clove listen,' He began as he sat down a little closer to me. 'I would rather keep you alive than myself, so just don't fucking think that I want to kill you or something.'

'Then why did you say that death was a limit?' I asked. 'I know you longer than to-fucking-day, you always want to cross any limit that comes in your way.'

'Well, it _is_ a limit, that's for sure. But almost everything is a limit, every ''you can't do this.'' Is nothing more than a challenge. But I guess that there are way more other limits to cross first.'

'Like life.' I nodded. 'It's _limited _so we have to first cross life.'

'Like the hallway, needs to be crossed too.' He said, walking to the door. 'You coming?'

'Ugh Cato!?' I almost yelled. 'I thought you understood me?'

'I swear to god no one is going to even touch you.' He said. 'I promise.'

'Like you have promised to get me off that list, Cato?' I asked. 'Well if that came true, I wouldn't be here right now.'

'So now you're blaming me for being here?' He raised his voice too. 'I warned you every fucking day for the consequences of gaining points, Clove.'

'No! I-'

'It's okay. If you don't want to go with me, then you just stay here all save and shit. Go ahead, do it the easiest. But this ''dog'' doesn't bark that way.' He interrupted me, then headed through the door, shutting it behind him.

At first I had to laugh because of the dog thing, reminded me of Cashmere's party back then, and that alley. And the pain, not in my arm, but in my heart right now. He just left me here, alone. He promised to stay together till the end. Well, he promised more things. I guess that promises were limits too, to be crossed and broken. I was such a bitch for reacting like this.

I moved my hand to the doorknob, but before opening the door and rushing through the hall to get towards him, I started doubting. Maybe I shouldn't go after him. He probably did expect that I would go after him, but he had to accept that things couldn't always go his way. But I couldn't just let him go. I stood there for half a minute, thinking about this dilemma. Then I decided to just stay here.

Not sure though if I had to keep the door open, or lock it. If he wanted to come back here, it had to be open. But we locked it to not get other people in here who wanted to kill me inside this place. I just shut it, not locking it. If he came back, he could.

I glanced around the room, there stood chairs, and a lot of tables. Still it felt empty without him. But he would come back soon. I grabbed a chair, and moved it close to the window. I opened it, seeing the sun go down, however a little shine of sunlight warmed me up a bit. I rested my elbows on the windowsill, supporting my head as I watched the sunset from here. All beautiful things, until the sun was gone, just like all the positivity inside of me.

And slowly the sky turned darker and darker, so did the room where I sat in. I stood up to put on the light, to not leave myself here in the darkness. Great, there was no electricity. The light didn't work for fucks sake. Ah well, I just moved back to the chair I sat on. 11 pm, it was getting time to sleep. Did we- uh I- have to sleep here? On the floor? That would lay even more uncomfortable than inside that tent back then, without a matrass or something.

...

I was still scared that there just would walk someone inside, and just would notice me in the dark and then slit my throat or something, leaving me here to bleed. But if it was dark already, why wouldn't Cato be back? I got up from the chair again, getting a little nervous. Although I tried to calm myself down. I sat down with my back against the wall, legs outstretched in front of me. That would be a way to fall asleep once upon a time, not that I was able to sleep or something. But this position started to hurt after a while, so I decided to lay on my side, curling my legs up a bit. I left the window open, to escape if necessary. But it was getting colder, especially when it started to rain. Followed by a fucking thunderstorm.

The school bell rang, signifying a death. It took me a second or two to realise that that could be Cato's death. Why else wouldn't he be back already. What if he died? The tears jumped up in my eyes by the thought that he could be just gone. That I would never see him again. That even the promise of dying together would be broken. By this time there was already a pool of salty water, named teardrops, under my face. This time I didn't had a shoulder to cry on.

I just laid there quietly sobbing on the ground, not caring about that fucking thunderstorm anymore. It hasn't been a minute since his possible death, and my world already collided completely. I couldn't even describe the feeling in words.

Even if he died, not on this moment! Not after an argument. This couldn't be fucking true. I got up, and searched with a pretty lot of effort, some glass. After a while I found a heart-shaped plate, perfect. I threw it on the ground, hearing it shatter, falling to pieces. Yeah, that was what it felt like. But after my little rage of anger, I ended up in tears again. Just like I always did when I was mad. The light of the lightning reflected at the shattered glass.

I didn't want to have feelings anymore, not for someone, nor for myself. I hated having feelings, they always hurt me. Cato couldn't be gone, just no! All this time we had been together, we couldn't die separated. I was such a bitch, why didn't I just go after him, maybe he would be still alive then. Or we did die together. I would rather die, than winning this whole thing and living with this pain any longer.

I laid down again, not in the middle of the glass, but next to it. I just cried myself to sleep there.

…

Suddenly I woke up by the noise of the cracking door which was being opened. Maybe death itself would stand there, ready to kill me too. The person walked inside the room, while actually it was in my blurry sight nothing more than just a black silhouette. It was carrying a blanked kind of thing, probably to bury me in after my body was motionless, also known as dead.

I closed my eyes preparing for the pain, and counted my sins. Which actually weren't that much, after all I was always a fucking good person. There were some things I regret, which I shouldn't do if I had lived good. I braced myself, goodbye happy ending. Although you never were there for me.

But instead of hurting me like I expected, the person gently wrapped the blanket around me.

* * *

**Yaaaay she's alive. Well, still alive ;). #Nospoilers.**

**Seriously, what if he was dead O.o**

**Don't expect everything you think you think is going to happen, because I started liking plot-twists.**

**But that's just it, you die in the middle of a sentence, right? **

**Hope you liked it ! Don't forget to review to make my day a little better. :D**


	47. A plan

Cato! I immediately pulled him into a hug, and even started crying. Of happiness this time, because he was still alive. And he came back to me!

'Oh my fucking god I thought that you were dead.' I said between my sobbing.

He sat down next to me, with his back to the wall too. 'I'm not removed from this planet that easily.'

'Damn it Cato.' I said. 'Don't you dare to ever leave me again, not that long.'

'Why that glass on the ground though?' He frowned.

'Had a little breakdown.' I looked down.

'Not because of that thunderstorm outside?' He asked.

'You think that I would be bothered by a fucking thunderstorm if you could be dead?'

He sat down underneath the blanket too, when he accidently touched my arm, he looked up. 'You are pretty damn cold, Clover.'

'That just happens if your heart freezes.' I shrugged. 'Or gets scared to death.'

He pulled me on his lap, then cupped my face as our lips gently touched each other. As usual it started so damn innocent, but ended up in almost a fight for dominance. He always won, but if it was the last thing I would do on this earth, I'd get my revenge once upon a time.

'May I ask why you didn't walk after me?' He said after I pulled back, giving up.

'Sometimes you just have to let go what you love, if it's truly yours it will come back, if not it just leaves you.' I answered. 'Did you lock that door by the way?'

'Yeah.' He nodded. 'I'm not that stupid to leave that thing open while you are sleeping.'

'But you _are _dumb enough to go out of this room at fucking midnight.' I grinned, then kissed him again. For fucks sake I had to win. Skipping the innocent part, this was war.

'You are never going to win.' He laughed as he claimed it over again.

'Damn it.' I said.

'But if you get tired of starting over,' He said. 'Then just stop giving up.'

'Oh that is your strategy?' I frowned.

'Shit.' He grinned. 'By the way, you don't seem that scared or nervous to me anymore.'

'I am, trust me. I just get better at hiding it.' I told him.

'Oh you had to see yourself when I came inside the room.'

'Well you could have been someone who wanted to kill me?'

I rolled over, landing on the hard floor again. I groaned. No way that I was going to sleep comfortable, but we did have a blanket. Actually I still didn't had an idea how he could get that thing, but I was too tired to ask it, plus I just had to appreciate what I had, and don't care about what I didn't have.

'Can you please close the window?' I asked. Okay, maybe I wasn't too tired to ask, I just didn't felt like asking it.

'Sure.' He replied, getting from underneath the blanket, leaving it colder here.

I watched him walking through the window, but he stopped and looked down for a while. I sat up. 'What's wrong?'

He didn't respond, just beckoned me.

So I got up, and slowly walked towards him, watching my steps to not step into glass. I was pretty surprised by his strange acting, but everything had a reason. Once I stood beside him, I looked down too. My eyes widened by what I was seeing, a human-being with an extremely big, pointy, black hoodie was slowly walking there. Damn it that was creepy, welcome to school at midnight. This place started to creep me out.

'Oh my god.' I whispered, knowing that that thing down there would hear it if I would speak out loud. It was like every motion I wanted to make, went in slow motion just because I was scared of that creepy human there. Totally dressed in black, it was a kind of what you could see in a horror movie. But now it was real! What if it would come our way?

I slowly backed down from the window, almost getting an heart attack when I bumped into someone. Turned out to be just Cato. He laughed at my reaction, then just closed the window like nothing was happened. I glanced around the room, yeah actually this place was pretty creepy. No lights were able to turn on, it was like an abandoned school building in which we teenagers had to kill others. With dead bodies and corpses, blood everywhere. Overthinking really was making me scared, but actually this was just the truth and not something I would overthink. Maybe I was even under thinking it.

When I turned around, Cato was already lying in our self-made bed, which actually contained the floor and one blanket.

He patted on the floor next to him. 'I don't know if you like standing there, but are you coming?'

I slightly nodded, looked back one last time and then walked to that ''bed'' again. I crawled underneath the blanket, laying on my side what immediately hurt my hipbone. Damn it, why couldn't they just make our (probably) last night a little more comfortable?

'This place is starting to creep me out.' I whispered.

'I know, but just go to sleep.' He responded, wrapping an arm around, slowly stroking my back to calm me down. I kissed him goodnight. But I couldn't sleep myself. After turning around so much times, I decided to just ask him.

'Isn't it smart to stay awake for one of us?' I asked quietly. 'To keep watch, if someone breaks in and wants to kill us?'

'The door is locked.' He mumbled, half sleeping. 'Just sleep.'

'Oh.' I said, rolling over again. 'Okay.'

But seriously, what if someone would come in? They wouldn't be stopped by just a locked door. Or what if they would come through the window? Damn it I was afraid for whatever would happen. First the fact that Cato was gone kept my head busy, but now he was here again, I could think again. Oh and breathe, I could breathe again too.

I snuggled into his chest, and came to mind that an untightened muscle would be functioning fine as a pillow. I guess that I stayed awake for half the night, but after a while I finally fell asleep again.

...

I could wish that I would be woken up by the sunlight or chirping birds, but it was because of my body did hurt that much from laying on the floor. I looked up, realising that I was still in the school. Where we have to kill other students because they were such a 'badass' by telling some teachers when they were just wrong. We would always pull the short straw, in whatever kind of situation.

'14 died.' Cato told me, I looked to the left. Apparently he was already awake too. '10 left, 9 of them will probably die.'

'That analysis doesn't sound that positive to me.' I shook my head.

'Clove, you were right. If we want to get out at some kind of way, we do need a plan.'

'Told you.' I frowned.

'And I know that you don't want to get out of this classroom, but if we want to win, then we have to kill some others too.' He said. 'Life is taking risks, death is just a consequence of one of these risks.'

'Can't we just wait here until everyone is dead?' I shrugged, not very into his plan of going out this save place and just run into the danger. It really wasn't smart to do.

'] don't want to kill someone okay.' I said.

'Do you want to get out of this?' He asked. 'Do you still want to live?

' 'Yeah of course.' I mumbled.

'Do you want to be any longer in this weird school?'

'If it was possible, then no.' I answered

'Then we have to kill these others as fast as possible, you just need to go home okay.'

'Why me? You are surviving too.'

'One winner, Clove. That does not include me.' He sighed, then looked up at me. 'I have prepared myself to die during this year, you only had got three weeks.'

'So? That doesn't mean that you are going to die because you think you will.' I said. 'You are getting out with me.'

'Just understand it wouldn't work that way. They already told us that only one comes out. Gotta be you.' He shook his head.

'So that means that I'm leaving you to die here, then move on with my life like nothing happened. Is that what you want to say?' I looked him in his eyes. 'Because if you are thinking that, you are wrong. I am not that strong to live with that pain. I may have survived then, but I am dead anyways.'

But then he told me. 'Clove, you will just find someone else to love, and live happily ever after.'

* * *

**Can someone tell Cato that it just doesn't work that way.**

**Although he has a point.**

**What do you think? **

**Have a nice day xo**


	48. Love is a closed door

**Warning: this chapter will leave you angry.**

* * *

'Even if I would get out alive, and find someone. It wouldn't ever be the same, Cato.' I looked down. So sad that he was already replacing someone for himself, usually you would get replaced, but now the suggestion came from him.

'Well, it will be better.' He said. 'After all you can have a future _with_ him.'

'If you survive this thing, I can have a future with you too!' I told him.

'Yeah, but if I win, then you'll die. That isn't going to help at all. And to be honest, I'd like to see you as the one surviving.'

'We fucking will survive together.'

Then his mood changed into an extremely calm one. 'Would you kill someone for that?'

I mean yeah, I would do anything to have a future with this boy. But I couldn't live like a murderer? Seriously how could I ever kill someone? I would end someone's dreams, life, and families' happiness by killing someone just because of the fact that I had to stay alive, and have a little chance that Cato would survive too.

'Yes.' I answered curtly.

'Then what are we waiting for?' He got up.

'You don't really want to kill someone, do you?' I sighed.

'Well, clearly you wouldn't mind.' He frowned, walking towards the door. 'Come.'

'No wait.' I stopped him, getting some time in which I wouldn't be declared as a murderer yet. 'What are we even going to do?'

'Getting over with this shitty game they put us in.' He said. 'If you want to survive, you gotta fight for it.'

'Can't we just first make a plan how to, I don't even know what to do.' I said, damn it I really didn't want to kill someone. But I already told him that I would if we both would get out alive, and I couldn't let him down now. He was always there for me, and I finally got the chance to do something back. But to kill someone, that actually was a step too far for me.

'No,' I said. 'I can't kill someone. I'm a fucking good person, and I don't want to be a murderer.'

'Clove,' He said, kissing me on my cheek. Where after I just wasn't able to say no to whatever he would say. I didn't want to be cruel. 'Can't you just work this one time with me, trying to get _you_ alive out of this? Is that really too much to ask?'

'No.' I mumbled. 'No, it isn't.'

'Then let's go.' He grabbed my hand.

'I want to poison them.' I told him, not moving a step.

'What?' He frowned.

'I can't kill someone fist to fist, according to the fact that I didn't just bring a shotgun with me. We are going to poison them.'

'What are you going to poison them with?' He asked, still surprised by my pretty random plan.

'I don't know what kind of shit they have, but probably with such a coloured substance we used in the lessons.' I answered.

'Oh that shit. Yeah they never advised someone to eat it, so I guess you could try that.'

I unlocked, and opened the door of the walk in- closet. A lot of rainbow coloured substances were ordered at colour. I grabbed a green and blue test-tube, then walked out of the closet again. I actually felt like a witch, doing these things. Killing teenagers by putting poison in their food. Maybe I wasn't such a good human as I thought I was. But I wasn't me at this moment, I didn't know what was going on all around me.

'Where's the food?' I asked him.

'What do you need food for?' He responded.

'To put the poison in, duh.'

'Just shove it down their throat.' He shrugged. 'That's so much easier.'

'Ew no.' I shook my head. Like that would even work out, stupid suggestion. 'It's not about the fighting, strategy is everything.'

'Yeah, I think that our friend, the director of The Imperial Entertainment prefers the fighting.' He said. 'Ah well, we ain't doing anything for him.'

He grabbed a bag of bread, and threw it towards me. I caught it, then looked around if we had enough food for ourselves after then, if we would make it through the day. I dripped some of the substance on the bread, leaving a green spot in it.

'I don't think they're going to eat that.' He shook his head. 'Isn't there a transparent tube in there?'

I gestured at the closet. 'Probably.'

Cato shrugged.

So I went inside there, and grabbed a transparent tube. I was sure about the fact that it wasn't just water, so it had to work. As I walked back to the classroom, another school bell rang through the building, meaning another death. Another person's dreams were faded away into the future grave. Knowing that that would be another person, but then I was the one to blame. It already felt awful. I dropped a few drops on the bread, which did fade away too. Great. But to be honest, I hoped that it didn't work so I didn't have to kill someone.

Cato and I headed out of the classroom, which was for me actually the first time to get out of this area. For him it wasn't, but actually I still didn't know what he had done in that time he was away. He was so calm after it, so he probably didn't kill anyone. But maybe he did meet someone. Ah well, let that just be a question unanswered. It wasn't necessary to know anyways.

My eyes stitched around, after all pretty damn afraid that there would just run someone out of the nowhere, coming to attack us. But the halls were empty, and that silence was actually creeping me out. We headed down the stairs, trying to make less noise. Any noise you would make was another sign which would betray you, what would cost you your damn life. Better be a little more careful.

But the plastic bag did crackle a little while walking, but I guess that wouldn't be audible on the other side of the school. I began to wonder where everyone really was, only 7 others, probably spread around through the whole territory. And that did include the sport hall too. Were they alone, or teamed up with someone too? It was possible that they were in a big group from 7, and we would walk around here with only us two. But that was an question I couldn't answer, I never could. Though I hoped that everyone was alone.

'You know,' He said quietly, though I could hear him. And if there was someone on the other side of the hall, they could too. ' I am not going to hide anymore.'

'That's not really smart.' I shook my head.

'We all die, it's just the difference that some of them never lived.' He shrugged. 'So hell no, I'm not going back to that classroom. And I want you to come with me.'

I promised myself to never, ever leave him. But at this point I wasn't that sure. It was as good as suicide, to be around here. Although he did have a point. I simply wanted to stay save, inside my locked classroom. Just calmly sitting there _with _him. But he was the one who wanted to leave that place, and I already went with him. Haymitch and Brutus were right; this thing would change people. I mean, this demanding, Cato has never been like that, going against everything I had to say. I kind of started to hate that.

'I don't know.' I looked down.

'Then think about it.' He rolled his eyes.

'Okay.' I said. 'I will.'

No matter how I would feel, I couldn't just keep arguing in this situation. And if I didn't want to get into a fight, I had to just keep him. So there was no side of me that wouldn't always choose him. And I started to doubt about that.

We arrived at the cafeteria, all tables were not standing anymore, just laid upside down. So that was happened after that fight of these boys. I guess that a few of them were the ones who were still alive. I almost was proud on the fact that we made the last 9. I put the bread down on the only table who did stand up, for whoever wanted to grab it.

After that Cato and I hide ourselves behind a wall, where we were able to see if someone was going to grab it. We sat there for like an hour, nervously waiting until someone would come. He didn't liked the plan of just waiting, but this time I didn't change for him.

My heart started beating faster and faster when there arrived someone in that cafeteria. The victim was someone I recognized out of a thousand faces. Brown hair, light coloured eyes. It was Gale. And for some reason I just wanted to stop him from eating it, no matter how much I disliked him. I couldn't kill someone I knew. I glanced to the place again, seeing that curly brown haired boy, from who I still didn't know the name of, who was probably teamed up with Gale.

They spoke some words I couldn't hear from here. But I still felt the tension of stopping them getting bigger. I couldn't just let them eat it.

So I crawled up.

Cato grabbed my wrist and pulled me down. 'What the fuck are you doing?' He whispered.

'I wanted to-'

'You are not going to warn them.' He mouthed.

'I don't want to kill them.' I whispered back.

'They wouldn't mind killing you either.'

He had a point in that, but that didn't say anything about me. I never was and never am going to be a murderer. But they probably already were. And according to the fact that they were looking our way, meant that we would be just another victim.

'It's a trap.' Gale shook his head. 'There they are.'

'Kill 'em.' The other boy said, holding a butterknife in his hand.

'Shit.' Cato muttered. I looked at him, waiting for a conclusion to do something. He always had suggestions, so I hoped this time it was like that too.

My eyes stitched back and fore, as my heartbeat overwhelmed every other feeling in my body. Beating through it all, I wish I was so strong as my heart, broken so many times but still beating on. But no, at this point I was terrified. Gale and that other boy were running to us, ready to kill us. And I was just preparing to die. This was the end, but if I was supposed to die this way, then it was going to be together with Cato.

And then he said. 'If you want to get out alive, run for your life.'

So we both got up, and started sprinting down the hall. It wasn't only fear what was running through my body, now it was nothing but adrenaline. Though that same adrenaline relieved the pain in my bones. Their footsteps, according to the amount of them they were running too, echoed through the hall. They followed us, running up the stairs. After 2 floors, my legs were so damn tired. But I had to keep running because I would die if I didn't. Actually that was the only motivation needed to just keep on going.

Third floor, no more stairs left. But we had took a big lead, Gale and that boy were not that fast actually.

'Tired?' He asked while we kept on running, through the hall this time.

'Yeah.' I gasped for air.

He went left, running into an unfamiliar classroom. I just followed him. He opened up a closet, which was empty on the inside without any shelves, then grabbed my hand, pulling me into it.

'Cato what the f-' I mumbled.

'Stay in here, I'll be right back.' He kissed me on the cheek, before closing the door and locking it. I couldn't even say something back and he was gone.

But I was sure that it was to protect me.

And there I stood, in the middle of a 2 square metres large closet, which was completely dark even though it was day. The only light was the one shining through the keyhole. Not that I had to spend much time in here, he would be right back. Fuck Frozen's ''Love is an open door.'' This one was surely closed.

...

But when after four hours or something like that, he still wasn't back, I lost the hope. I didn't heard a cannon at all. He wasn't dead, just left me. I tried to think on another way, things were never what they seemed like anyways. So I tried to think the opposite of it. But that only turned out to be a true one, yet heart breaking.

He just used me to kill me in this game, so he would be a step closer to the win. It all made sense now. From the first day we met, in that office, I got to know about the point system. He told me that things like ''You can't do this.'' And ''You don't do this.'' Were just another limits, who needed to be crossed. And he told me so damn many times to not gain these points, while actually he was waiting for it. He was the one who thought me how the break the rules. This is why he told me e_verything _ about the point system, in the hope that I would feel sorry for him, and wanted to help him. That I would fall so pathetically in love that I would basically die for him. He changed so damn much when we got in here. And I almost killed people for him, so he had to do less. But he made me believe that it was useful for me, because I was the one who would get out if he would tell. Everything was one big lie to get me into this game, locked up in a closet he would never get me out of.

One big trap, and I just fell for it.

* * *

**Told you.**

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**Im evil, I know it.**

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	49. An unanswered question

**Sorry for hurting your feelings.**

**Have fun (or nah ) reading ;)**

**Longest chapter btw. Yay!**

* * *

God damn it! How could I fall for that? How could he even do this to me? What the fuck have I done wrong to deserve this? This situation couldn't be worse, locked up in a closed inside a school in which teenagers kill each other, If I wouldn't get something to eat, I would starve to death in this closet. Not that that would matter, my heart wouldn't be able to carry this pain for a long time.

The tears streamed down my face, and I realised that this wasn't the first time I cried over him. I thought back at all the memories we had, were they fake too? I just should have listened to what everyone had to say about him, they were right.

But at least I wanted to know why, and how he could do that to someone? And indeed, this was not what it seemed like at all. A lot had happened, but this was the biggest plot twist in my story. I used to love him, and I did. I really did. I trusted him even in a life-taking situation. I used to think that maybe once upon a time we would get out of this situation, and live happily ever after. Because every love story has a happy end, right?

I pushed the doors with all my might, setting my left foot against the back of the closet, to force some more power. But after a while I gave in. I was weak, falling for everything people would tell me. Yeah, if you don't stand for anything, you would fall for everything. But the situation with Cato was different, I didn't jump from a flat to fall for him, he basically pushed me off.

My legs collided underneath me, as I sat down in the little space I had, quietly sobbing. No shoulder to cry on, not him here to comfort me. No, I was alone. I had so many questions on my mind for him, and I didn't want to leave them unanswered. And I tried so hard to just get myself together, but I couldn't. My life already was as good as over. I didn't even know how to feel anymore, angry or sad?

I still could feel the feeling of when he kissed me on my cheek for the last time, then kicked the door, hurting my leg again. But what was pain compared to the pain inside of me? No but seriously, how could he do this to me, knowing that I have a lot of damn feelings. And I knew that if I wanted answers for these unanswered questions, I simply had to ask it.

...

But it wasn't that easy, I was locked up in a fucking closet. Not sure how weird it would be for all these directors watching me sitting here, if they could see me. I would be that girl who was locked in here by her boyfriend, then started pathetically crying about what happened. I didn't want to be that girl. I wanted to be strong, confident about whatever I would do, I wanted to break free and just walk up to him to ask why. But I had to accept that I wasn't that type of person.

So I kicked, pushed and hit these doors, fighting my way out. Which actually was a huge fail because of the fact that my hands started to hurt like hell, my legs were tired, let's keep it on the pushing part.

But I held on, and after a while the lock broke and the door fell open, and me too. I felt some pain in my knee on which I fell, but crawled up. No time to cry over a graze.

I looked around me, an English classroom it was. And the air was so much fresher around here than in the closet. Fuck that closet. But now I was all alone, in this school. And I wasn't going to just sit here, I was going to find Cato and make him tell the truth, no matter how hard that would be. As if it was the last thing I ever would do, I could not leave this question unanswered.

There was a little mirror on the wall, where I walked towards. I looked inside of it, and damn what the fuck happened to my hair? I untangled it with my fingers, but it still looked awful, but whatever. But I had to make sure that I wouldn't look that bad on my funeral, right? I grabbed a waterproof marker, and drew these warrior stripes on my face. People had to watch out, the war was on. But after all, actually the only enemy I had in this school right now, was Cato himself.

I tried my best to look all confident, but it was nothing but pain that I saw in my own eyes.

'Ugh forget it.' I groaned, then walked out of the classroom, into the hall.

All alone and quiet it was. And I was even more scared now to walk into someone without having Cato on my side. Although I was so damn angry at him, I mean yeah I would feel better to punch him in the face right now, but I didn't want him to die or something. Even though he wouldn't even mind about watching me die. Not fair, but still I felt this way.

My eyes stitched around searching for a weapon, or whatever I could protect myself with. My eye caught a fire extinguisher at the wall, which was probably the most weird thing I would attack someone with. But I did grab it from the wall, and it was actually heavier than I thought. Cato for fucks sake I needed you now. People are never there when you actually need them. Fuck people. I tried to put on my I-don't-care-about-anything mood, but I was nothing but broken on the inside. Just had to cover things up.

I supported the heavy fire extinguisher with one arm underneath it, while the other held it up. I pulled out the little thing, so it was ready to blast some stuff out of it when someone came. Not sure if it would stop someone, but if it wouldn't I could always hit someone knock out with the fire extinguisher itself.

I walked through the school with a ''What-Now?'' kind of feeling. Where the fuck would Cato be? That motherfucker who wanted me to die so he could win, but after all I still loved him, yeah that one. I really hated myself for thinking that. But in another way I was so damn angry at him that he could be the one who was going to be smashed by my fire extinguisher, also known as weapon. Mixed feelings, the colourful black, were the worst you could ever experience. Feelings inside would always hurt more than the ones who just harmed your body.

I almost got an heart-attack when I bumped into someone when I walked around the corner, I gasped. I was ready for the attack, just to defend myself. But it was just that girl which I marked as suicidal at the first day. The fact that she was still alive, prove me wrong. I shouldn't judge people at first sight.

'P-Please don't kill me.' She stumbled.

'It's okay.' I said, my voice sounding more terrified than I wanted it to. 'I'm not going to be a murderer.'

'It is awful!' She looked down. 'I just saw someone dying and I couldn't help.'

'Where?' I asked, I had to play this game on the strategy if I couldn't win with strength.

'Close to the sport hall.' She said. 'Don't go outside.'

'Well I just wanted to.' I shrugged. 'We can go together, if you want?'

The girl nodded, as we walked through the halls of the building together. It felt better to have someone walking next to me, knowing that I wasn't alone in this. But it felt so much worse than if I would walk next to Cato, if we just skip the fact that he wanted to kill me, I did felt a lot saver next to him. No doubt possible, I really hated him but I missed him. This girl was smaller than me, that probably meant that if there was going to be a fight between us and someone else, I had to take the lead. Usually Cato would. God damn I already hated this.

'What's your name, by the way?' She asked me quietly.

'Clove.' I answered, not leaving her question unanswered. 'Yours?'

'Nina.' She said. 'So you are that Clove?'

'Yup.' I nodded. 'Wait is this negative? Was there something wrong with my reputation?'

'No, but you used to date Cato, right?' She told me.

Bam, feelings stabbed with an emotional knife. Hello heartache, once again. '

Used to,' I replied. 'How do you know that?'

'Who doesn't?' A little smile formed on her face. 'A lot of people in my class were jealous of you. I simply told them not to. No offense to you, but Cato just is a popular type, which after you would break up, leaves you with all the shit in the world.'

'No offense to me?' I laughed. 'Girl, I'm with you. He can go fuck himself.'

'Broken up?' She frowned.

'And broken down.' I nodded. 'It's hard letting someone go you thought of that it would last forever.'

'There is no such thing as infinities and forever's. Overused words that don't even exist. Everything has an end.'

'But may the end be a new beginning.' I finished. 'Just kidding, we all going to die in here.'

'And may our break downs be our break through.' She said.

It was good to just talk to this Nina, but I really didn't knew her even though she did knew me. I couldn't imagine the fact that people were jealous of me because I was dating that douchebag named Cato. Like she said, this type would just leave you broken, and kick you after before they would leave. I guess that it wasn't human to leave me into something worse than he already did.

It was hard, it was impossible to love someone who would rather kill you. And I already knew that this was over, so damn over. It didn't matter whatever he would do, how worse he would treat me. I would always fall for it. And I knew that he might be trying it again, and I would probably just act like I didn't know anything about him. Well dear Cato, not this time. I'm not buying that shit anymore.

It was actually a pretty nice weather outside, as we arrived there. The sun was shining bright high up in the sky, free to light the world. And we would be here in continued darkness, ending each other's lives. I looked up, at the building of the school as I heard some voices coming from there. It was hard to see, but I guessed that I saw someone walking on top of the roof.

My heart skipped a beat when I heard Cato's voice coming from that same place. He was on top of the roof, and I had to go there too.

'We're going up there.' I told Nina.

'That roof?' She asked. 'I guess that I will fall off.'

'You won't,' I said. 'Trust me.'

'Okay.' I could see her hesitating a bit, but she did trust me enough to go with me. But I, unlike Cato, did understand that trust is something where not should be messed with.

I never knew something of a stairway that would lead that way, so we had to climb up. But climbing on the outside of such a high building wasn't danger-free at all. One wrong move and you would fall and splash to death, just like the feeling inside of me. I looked up at the construction of the building, every floor was a little smaller than the one under it, so it was a small edge after every floor you would climb on. It would be a way to climb up via these drainpipes, so I guessed that was the only option I had.

I set my feet on a little protrusion of the drainpipe, as I moved my hands up to grab it there. I was almost on the ground, so it wasn't scary yet. Not dangerous either. But these things changed as I after a while, sat shakily on the edge of the third floor, watching Nina climbing towards the third floor too. I was afraid of heights, I always was. It was crazy to know that I did this all, just to get one fucking answer of Cato, if he wouldn't kill me immediately as he saw me. And for the first time in forever, I knew he hated me back.

...

I heard Nina muttering from there, so I looked down. And I was just able to see her losing her grip, as she fell backwards. My heart just stopped as I heard her screaming while she fell through the air, on her way to the ground. I stared down to her motionless body, as good as dead she was. Why her?

'Oh my fucking god.' I gasped.

'Well, that one is surely dead.' I heard someone say from the roof.

'Just one step closer to winning, right?' Cato said, making the blood inside myself almost boil. I clenched myself to the windowsill, making sure I wouldn't fall off. Still couldn't believe the fact that I told her that she could trust me climbing up here, but she fell off and was dead now. In fact I was a murderer now.

'Hey Cato.' I heard Gale talking. 'How much did you kill?'

'One.' He replied.

'Clove?' Gale asked.

They fucking knew about it?!

'Excuse me!?' I yelled towards them. 'I am still fucking alive.'

'What the fuck.' I heard them saying.

I looked up at them, seeing that brown haired boy looking over the edge, back at me. 'How are you still alive?' He simply asked, then turned to Cato. 'I thought you killed her.'

'I thought so too.' I mumbled.

'Jeez, I didn't meant to kill her. I never did, actually.' Cato said.

'But you just s-' The boy began.

'I don't know what you are talking about.' Cato replied.

Lies, all lies. Was this seriously how he was to defend himself? Damn it I hated him. I really did this time.

I stared in front of me, into the open space of air. Then down, seeing Nina's dead body, making me look away immediately. Then I saw some matte black cars with shaded windows riding towards this place.

'Shit!' Gale mumbled. 'Clove, get up here. Fast.'

'Trusting you guys?' I spat. 'Hell no.'

'You trust me?' Cato said.

'After all this shit you have pulled me through, you seriously think that I fucking trust you?' I yelled now.

'What the fuck are you guys even talking about?!' He responded. 'Just get the fuck up here.'

'Clove, we are all in the same damn situation.' The brown haired boy said. 'You are saving your own damn life if you would get up here. Your choice.'

'So you guys can kill me after?' I frowned, then looked up at them. 'How about no.'

So I just kept in mind that I would keep sitting there, refusing to climb another drainpipe. Mostly because of the fact that Nina just fell, and the same could happen to me. So I just sat there shakily, trying to hold my grip and sit without moving. No move meant not falling to me right now. I didn't want to admit it, but damn I was so afraid to fall down. Getting there with these boys would mean my death anyways, so I guessed that that wasn't an option. But I saw these black cars stopping in front of the school, and after a while a few persons in dark coloured suits, with ties and shit like that, came out. Did this meant that we finally were save? Were they going to free us from this game?

'Clove come here or I'm going to get you.' Cato told me. 'You can't just sit there.'

'Guess what I'm doing right now. Fuck you and your limits, I set my own.' I said.

'They're going to shoot.' Gale shouted when these men in the suits, grabbed some weapons. My heart literally stopped for a while and I just stared at them. Knowing that if they would be able to shoot a bullet through me, I wouldn't be dead immediately, okay if they would hit me in my heart I would, but I would fall down and crash on the floor just like Nina.

'Get to the middle of the roof, it's saver there.' Gale said while he and that brown haired boy ran towards the middle. Of course it would be harder to hit them when they would stand there, unlike me, I was probably their first target sitting here. '

Cato come!' The boy yelled. 'Just let her be.'

But he didn't went to them, and kept standing on the edge of the roof, looking at me. Probably not knowing that he would be just an easy target just like me. I still refused to get up there. He held out his hand, not that I was even able to grab it from here, however if I would climb that drainpipe I was.

'Clove I'm serious, why aren't you just getting up here?' He asked. I looked up at him.

'Because I simply don't fucking trust you anymore.' I told him with a feeling that almost was ripping my heart out.'So better go follow your frenemies on the middle of the roof.'

'No.' He said. 'Why don't you trust me?

' 'Because you fucking never came back to me!' I yelled. 'And now don't fucking lie to me, if it was up to you I still would be in that fucking closet, dying so you would win this shit.'

'For fucks sake where is everyone talking about?' He said, then looked back at me. 'Just come here.'

I rolled my eyes and got up from the edge I sat on, shove towards the drainpipe. Every movement went so damn shakily, and I was so afraid of falling off. I grabbed the drainpipe as I pulled myself with a lot of effort up. An half heart attack when the pipe cracked a little. Cato still held his hand out, and when he was able to he grabbed my arm, trying to pull me up.

'Do not fucking touch me.' I muttered.

'Don't fucking overthink like this.' He told me.

'I am not overreacting at all!'

'Overthinking is going to kill you, literally.' He said, then did pull me up the roof. Really not what I wanted to, but at least I couldn't fall down now.

I thought about falling. He could just simply push me off, just like the fall in love thing.

...

Because all this time _I fell in love the way you would fall from a flat,_

I walked away from Cato, away from the edge. Step by step I walked towards the middle of the roof, where Gale and that other boy were sitting too. I knew that everything Cato said was one big lie, he could tell me to trust him again. But it would never, ever be the same. He told them his plan, but in my face he couldn't just tell me that I needed to die. At this time, I wished I never fell for him.

_Regretting that you're falling,_

He ran towards me, I still turned my back to him. His arms wrapped around me for a while, as the time came on which the men with ties began to shoot. The sounds of shots reminded me of what happened in that alley with the elder woman, what happened in the classroom with the girl.

_Knowing that once upon a time you would be on the ground,_

And then I felt an indescribable sharp pain in my stomach. I winched, where after my sight got blurry as fuck. My legs collided underneath my body, as I fell down onto the ground. I always thought that pain of feelings would never overwhelm pain in your body, but this prove me wrong. Paralyzed by this persistent pain, the only move I could, and wanted to make was my hand, searching for his, knowing that this was the end. The only thing my hand found was the rough stones of the roof. And then everything went dark.

_You would be laying, broken and dead._

* * *

**...**

**Ready for an epilogue?**

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	50. Unconsciousness

And that was how it ended, I guess. I had proven that not every love story had an happy end. Actually I wanted to know how he ended up, did he won like planned? Did he died just like I did? These were questions, who were never would be answered. But I still, after all what happened, no matter how much I hated him, wanted to die together, hand in hand. Like we promised to. In fact we would end up separated, but I wanted to stay together with him till the end.

...

But if I was dead, then how the hell was I able to think? Were these things actually my thoughts? Where was I? Too many questions were on my mind, but that did meant that my mind was real.

After a lot of effort I was able to slowly open my eyes, blinded by the light who shined right into it. I wasn't able to move at all, but the blurry sight faded away after a while. I looked up to a perfectly painted white ceiling, my eyes immediately hurt by all the light. I squinted, then forced my head to move to the left. It took so much energy to move at all, but I made it to turn my head.

I saw a big window, I stared through it even though it was hard to keep my damn eyes open. There was a small round table with three chairs close to the window, didn't remember that one. I looked through the window, and saw that the ground and people were so tiny down there. At first I thought that they were just dolls or something, but they moved. It took me some damn time to realise that the place I was, was higher than usual. Still I had no idea where I was.

I looked down, to see my own body. But all I saw were perfect not crooked white sheets of the bed.

A rod was on the end of the bed, and when I looked further around me, I realised it was a hospital.

I looked right, the sympathy in my body overwhelmed all the pain when I saw that perfectly blond haired boy laying there too, in a hospital bed. A lot of tubes attached to him. Weird was it, to see him like this. I always saw him as a mentally and physically strong person, but this was the completely opposite.

I tried to see my own arms, a few tubes went in there too, pumping blood inside of me. Though after that all I felt so dizzy, and laid my head down on the pillow again, which wasn't that soft actually. I was just paralyzed, not sure about the fact that I would be able to talk or walk ever again in my life. Sad to know.

I slowly fell asleep again, for I don't know how long.

When I opened them again, I felt a little more energized than before, like my body started to wake up. Which wasn't a good thing, the pain in my stomach was unbearable. I bit my lip for some relief, but that was just curing pain by another pain. I tried to not give in for this pain, and tried to sit up. I winched once I made it, to sit up I would need my abs (which I didn't have) and that did hurt like hell right now.

I still felt dizzy though, and thirsty like I have never drunk something in my life. I couldn't remember the last time, actually. But I tried to remember whatever I could, just to organise my thoughts a little more, to figure out what happened. Then I realised that there was another person laying in a hospital bed, facing his bed. The bed on the other side of the room, facing mine, was empty. An elder woman it was, according to her grey hair. I couldn't see her face, because she was sleeping on her side. Well I guessed that she was sleeping.

I stretched my neck to release myself from that remaining pain in there. I really felt like a stiff, barely able to move my body and if I did it hurt pretty damn much. Once upon a time I heard someone saying that things would get a lot more clear if I would list them up in my head, so I did.

''My name is Clove Kentwell. I am sixteen years old. I was born in.. in district 2. I moved to district 14, and went to Panem High. I had to compete in a game in the school, and lost it. They all probably hate me. I thought I was dead, but apparently I still live. And now I am in a hospital.'' I thought, then looked to my right side.

And that was, god damn who was that? I did recognize him, but couldn't find his name. Honey blond hair, bright blue eyes. And I felt something like, how would I call that… I guess that people would pronounce it as ''love.'' But what was love? It might be a feeling, but I really didn't know what it was at all. After all, love wasn't in the name, but in the person. I was so damn confused. Although love wasn't the only thing I felt, on the place of my heart I felt like.. nothing.

Yeah, that was what I felt. Nothing, it was completely empty. My stomach was empty too, I wanted to eat something. Not even sure if I could eat something.

I pressed the red button on the wall, at arm's length of my position. Not a minute later a nurse walked inside the room, who glanced around the room, then headed to me.

'I see you have woken up.' She said, her voice soft, but pretty emotionless.

'Yeah.' I could bring out of my throat. Hey, I could say something! I was so satisfied with the fact that I could communicate with this woman.

'What can I do for you?' She asked.

'Can- Can I have something to eat?' I responded, not talking too loud actually.

'I first want to measure your blood pressure.' She said.

I nodded. "Okay.'

Nodding hurt my head, and neck, and the rest of my body That nurse wrapped the sphygmomanometer around my arm, which did felt a little weird. But when she took it off again, she nodded that it was okay. 'You do have to stay in bed.'

'Which day is it?' I asked her.

'Saturday.' She answered. '15th of July.'

'July?' I repeated. 'I thought that it was June.'

'You were in a coma for something like a month.' She told me.

'Oh my god.' I sighed.

Then she walked out of my room, getting my food, I guess. But if I was in a coma, was that blond haired boy in one too? I still couldn't find his name, and I didn't like that. I just had to know his name, god damn it. How could I love someone from who I didn't even know the name of. I couldn't even think properly.

But was I seriously for a month in a coma? How did I even made that? I didn't even know anymore what happened, how I came here. I would just ask the nurse if she came back, she would probably tell me what happened.

The woman walked inside my room again, holding a plate and a glass of water. She placed them on the little desk beside me.

'What did actually happened?' I asked. 'I mean, how did I came here?'

'You got into a car crash.' She nodded, face full of sympathy. Then gestured at him. 'That just happens if you get into a car with a drunk driver.'

'A car crash?' I frowned. 'I don't remember a car crash..'

'Sweetie you don't remember anything.' She said.

'Is he okay?' I asked. Was it really a car crash? Was this all his fault? I didn't want to blame it on him, but what if it was like that?

'Let's just say that you were more lucky.' She shook her head.

'Oh.' My eyes went down. 'Okay.'

'At 8 there is a visitors hour. We will call your parents.'

'Thank you.'

She left some painkillers on the desk too, before exiting the room. I pressed them out of the packing, then swallowed them with the water. I actually did have a lot of pain. After that I started eating the smashed potatoes, which were a little slimy. I looked at if full of disgust. Once I heard someone saying that hospital food was even more unhealthy than fast food. Ah well, I was hungry so I ate it anyways.

After dinner I was getting a little tired, eating did actually cost me a lot of energy. But I didn't want to sleep anymore. I was just stuck in this bed, and if I would have no pain, and just was energized, I wanted to practise walking, and get through the hospital and go outside. But my body wasn't ready to. I put on the headphone, and just started watching MTV on the little screen of my private television.

...

After the good shows ended, I saw it was 7:30 pm. In an half hour my parents would come to visit me. I could take a nap right now, but I was afraid to fall asleep for a very long time, just like in a fairy tale. I turned the TV off, and laid the headphones back where they belonged.

I noticed that the elder woman was awake too, she stared at me. Making me feel a little uncomfortable. Maybe she had some pain or something? Should I ring that bell for her?

'Are you okay?' I asked her.

'Yeah I'm fine.' She said. 'It's just been a while since I had some roommates again.'

'You were in this room all alone?' I felt sorry for her.

'Yeah.' She said.

It remained quiet for a little while, but after a while she spoke again.

'Young lady, you were so lucky.' She told me. 'That boy next to you, he caught several bullets for you.'

* * *

**As you noticed, this was not an epilogue, She is still alive. Maybe forever, maybe for a small damn time. Who knows?**

**Last sentence though.**

**You guys remember the 'car crash- thing' ?**

**Commentss?**


	51. Vegetative state

**First of all I wanted to thank you all so damn much to just read this story so far! x**

**Have fun readinggg.**

* * *

'Bullets?' I looked up. 'What bullets? I was in a car crash.'

'No,' The elder woman said. 'You weren't.'

'Yes I was.' I said, she was probably just a crazy old woman. How the fuck would she know how I got here.

'Panem High.' She said. 'They killed you. Shot you in your stomach.'

I lifted my white pyjama's, a pair of the hospital, then looked at my stomach. There was a scar across it. Maybe the woman was right, or just the nurse wasn't. How could I get a scar on my stomach from a car crash? That didn't really make sense to me. If it was from a gunshot, it would make a little more sense to me. The bullet could just been taken out, then they had to fix the open wound, and now it was just a scar.

Then I glanced at Cato. Cato! That was the name of the boy I used to fall in love with, more didn't I remember. Did I actually even was in love with him? What happened before I came here? That woman told me that I was shot by someone of my school, what actually sounded too absurd to be true. But it would make my wound more clear to me, instead of a car crash. By a car crash I would fall with my head through a window or something, I was dizzy, but there were no wounds on my head I guess.

It was weird to think of my own diagnose, just because of the two sides of the story. Actually I believed the nurse a little more, I mean this was her job. She had to be honest. I already was so damn confused, and now I couldn't even know what really happened to me. Ugh, why did people always had to make it so hard for me.

When I looked up at the elder woman, she was sleeping again before I even could say something back.

Then I heard some footsteps in the hall, I looked up at the clock. 8 Pm, visitors hour. But actually I didn't have that much energy to talk anymore, I just wanted to sleep. But if I would sleep they came here for nothing.

'So there is a Glasgow Coma Scale, we test the patients to the criteria of that scale, the results give us a score between 3 and 15. Three indicates a deep unconsciousness, fifteen stands for a normal state.' I heard a male voice saying, a doctor I guess.

'What score is she at?' A female said, sounded like my mom. It was probably my mom.

'Till the time that she woke up, somewhere in the zone of 12 and 13, she was very lucky.' The doctor told her. 'She came from 6, so she recovered pretty well.'

'Good to hear.'

Then they knocked on the door, and walked in before I even could say something. My mom and a man I didn't know, and another man with a white jacket who was probably the doctor, but who was that other man? Dressed pretty formal, I really didn't recognize him.

Once my mom's eye caught me, she rushed towards my bed and bended over to hug me. I mumbled a quiet 'Ow!' Because holy shit hugging hurt.

'I'm so happy you woke up again.' She cried.

'Well, me too.' I sighed.

Then she grabbed the black chair which stood close to the window, at the little table, and placed it beside my bed. The man firmly walked towards us, and grabbed a chair too, as he sat down next to her.

'Now don't get me wrong,' The doctor said. 'That scale was only when she was in a coma. There is an Glasgow Outcome Scale, shortened GOS.'

'And what does she score in that one?' My mom looked up.

'We haven't done a test yet, but I guess that in the scale of 1 to 5, she has around 4, which is positive. Although she can't walk or stuff like that, she has to stay in bed.' He told her before leaving the room.

The only thing I knew about that GOS, was that number one meant that you would come out dead, 2 meant something like a vegetative state. But according to the fact that it only went to five, four was pretty positive for me. I looked right, but for Cato this whole GOS didn't count, he didn't come out of his coma yet. Not sure if he would ever come out, I hoped he did.

...

'I always told you he was no good for you.' My mom told me. 'He killed you by driving drunk. You could be still dead.'

'It was no car crash, mom.' I said, still not sure about that.

'Well that is a pretty vegetative state.' My mom said as she looked at him too.

'I know. He's like a tomato plant, motionless but alive.' I swallowed to keep my tears back, who welled up in my eyes. 'But he's _my_ tomato. And I love him.'

'I'm sorry.' She sighed, knowing that this wasn't the time to talk about this.

'Well you have to get over it.' The man told me, his voice sounding just emotionless. Just like the way he would speak in an office. 'The doctors said that he wasn't going to make it.'

'No.' I looked up. I was feeling so light in my head. 'That isn't true. He is going to make it.'

I couldn't think deep, my head felt light and I thought I could pass out any minute. But that feeling was nothing compared to what they said. Was he really not going to make it? Would his GOS be number 1? I lost all the memories, I didn't remember anything, I didn't _know _anything. But I did feel something, and I could tell you that I felt something for him. I didn't want him to die, no; he had to get out of that coma and live happily ever after. He couldn't die. And neither could I, if he would die. The cause of my death would be ''heartbroken.''

'Who the fuck are you by the way?' I raised my eyebrow, looking up to the unfamiliar man. With a tie, and I hated ties.

'I don't want to hear you swearing.' The man said.

'Your dad and I divorced.' My mom sighed, then glanced over the man next to her. 'Meet Cristopher Green, your new dad.'

'No fucking way. For fucks sake I have only one dad, not a fucking new one.' I squinted.

'I said no swearing in my space.' He raised his voice, still sounding terrific calmly.

'Well then you need to get out of _my_ damn space.' I said, then looked at my mother. 'Mom you don't really brought this shitty thing to our house, did you?'

'Well I brought ourselves to his house.' She said.

'Have you got any more _great _news to tell?' I said, sarcastically as fuck. I might be just out of a coma, so damn confused. But nothing can ever get between me and my sarcasm.

'Well, the doctor told me that you if you stay in this state, or get even better, you can go home in a week!'

'Oh really?' I rolled my eyes. 'There is no such thing as home. It's just a stupid building made of stone where you live in.'

'Well it's a beautiful stupid building.' My mom smiled.

'Then turn your back on me and leave for that stupid beautiful building.' I sighed, then realised that their raised voices woke up the elder woman. Yeah, they had to leave now, that was better for us all. 'I'm serious, just leave.'

'Uh-' My mother looked down, that Cristopher only looked at the door. 'Okay then.'

'Bye.' I mumbled, but they were already gone.

I was left alone again in this hospital. But actually my thoughts were coming back a bit, not that light anymore. Still I couldn't remember what happened. Seriously how could my mother divorce my dad in the time that I was in coma? Were they fucking kidding me? In a week I would be home again, not that I wanted right now, because I wouldn't go home but towards Cristopher's house. She couldn't just be like ''Meet your new dad, that is where we are going to live for the rest of your teenage life.'' I already hated that man. A typical business man, with a tie. And people with ties were the real criminals, not the ones with the tattoo's.

'I'm sorry for that.' I told the elder woman, who didn't get any visitors.

'It's okay.' She said. 'I would rather feel sorry for you.'

'What is your name?' I asked her.

'Mags.' She told me, and then smiled and started talking about her family. It was nice to see how she could tell so this so excited, but none of that family came to visit her. Though her story sounded beautiful, but every rose has its thorns.

'And then I have a grandson named Finnick. He is around your age I think-'

'Finnick?' I repeated, then looked up.

'Yes, listen,' She said, her eyes not that glassy anymore. And she just smiled while telling this. 'He had such a lovely girlfriend, Annie was her name I guess. I remember that when they were younger, they always came to my house after school. And then I had baked apple pie, and we would eat that with us three in the garden, listening to the sounds of mockingbirds. Yeah, that was a wonderful time.'

'Finnick Odair?' I asked.

'Yes.' The woman nodded.

'I know him.' I told her. 'He was in my class.'

We talked some more, and it was funny how I came to know a little more about my friend Finnick. I did remember him, but thinking cost me so much energy. And after a while I had to tell her that we would talk further another day, I just had to get my rest. I hated this, usually I would be able to talk for hours, and now half an hour was the limit. I thought twice at the word limit, but couldn't get much information out of my brains. Ah well, I would just go to sleep some hours. Maybe I would dream about happy endings, growing old just like this woman did. However she didn't really got a happy ending, if it would end here in the hospital. And then I realised that I would do so much for _my _happy ending. It wouldn't end here.

I laid down my head, and staring at the ceiling my thoughts went back on the happy ending thing. Happy endings would only exist in fairy tales, or in wonderful lives. What mine wasn't so far. But so far meant that this was not an ending, I would have so much time to get a happy ending. It was not about love, or other things which might ''not meant to be''. You had to form it that way all by yourself, maybe it wasn't meant to be, but that didn't said that it couldn't be that way.

And for the first time in forever, I fell asleep with positive thoughts.

* * *

**Yup her parents divorced.**

**More trouble is coming, if she is even going to make it out alive. **

**For the ones of you who think like; ''She was shot, how the fuck was she in coma after that?''**

**The answer: She lost so much blood, and yes, her heart stopped. Which was the reason that she got out of the school. No oxygen, blood loss, well that is a reason for a coma.**

**Please leave a review xo**


	52. Breakdown

I woke up half crying, as I quickly sat up in my bed, eyes widened and so much pain. I winched while I bended over, my hand searching for the wound. To push back the remaining pain if I was able to. The room was completely dark just like the feeling inside. It needed to stop, it had to stop! I shakily pressed the red button next to my bed.

I expected that there were coming a few doctors to see what was wrong with me. But literally no one came. After I calmed myself down, by just breathing deeply, I realised that it was not the pain what woke me up. It was a nightmare. A sight of a girl who got shot in front of the class because she was crying. But if that was a flashback, then it really happened? Just like the moment when the only thing I saw and felt was the height of a building, and the rage to walk away. After the gunshot, I woke up.

I remembered things, I guess. It was not just a nightmare, it was a flashback. How I woke up was the way in which I died. The gunshot, what the elder woman, also known as Finnick's grandma Mags, told me about. It was true, she wasn't a crazy old fool. Panem High, The Imperial Entertainment, it all made sense now. Well, it didn't make sense, I just understood it. Like Nina told me; "may our breakdowns be out break throughs."

I looked down on the wound on my stomach, which was actually nothing more than a not really big scar now. The pain I just felt had nothing to do with it. It was just my own imagination of it, just an illusion. But maybe the pain did distract me, at least it helped me to get out of that nightmare. Maybe my body did it on purpose? Because that is just what we human beings do, we fake what we cannot feel, hoping that we can make it real.

Maybe it was better for the pain to be just real, it would have stopped me over thinking over things that don't even matter. I just had to recover here, nothing more. I looked around the darkened room. It was still night, that was for sure. Only in the hallway was light, according to the light who shined through the keyhole, and came from underneath the door. Although I really wanted to just get out of my bed, I still was stuck to these tubes who went inside my arm. Stuck to all this shit. I wanted to just pull them all out, it was getting me crazy. I didn't know if these tubes were that necessary for keeping me alive at this point, so I just kept them in. I simply grabbed some of the painkillers who still laid on the desk beside my bed, and swallowed them with some water.

I was still sitting up in my bed, teardrops already dried on my cheeks. I sighed deeply as I glanced over Cato's bed. He still laid there motionless, stuck to even more tubes than I did, he even needed oxygen. I felt so sorry for him, especially when I reminded myself that dream, also known as nightmare, I just had. It clearly was my fault that he laid here. I mean, if it wasn't for me, he maybe even would have won that whole thing. But no, now he was in a deep coma for longer than a month, not even sure if he wouldn't get that GOS with a score of 1; dead.

'I'm sorry, Cato.' I whispered into myself. 'I'm so sorry.'

...

The fact that Mags told me that he caught _several_ bullets for me, how much was several? I was shot only once, in my stomach, I knew that. But bloody hell, if these several were only for me, and then he would have had the bullets who were supposed to hit him, he was up to a really bad condition right now. No wonder why he looked like a tomato plant.

It was my fault, I was the one to blame. And usually I would never put the blame on myself, how selfish I ever was. Now Cato had to fight to get through this coma, to even stay alive for fucks sake, because _I _was indirectly his death cause. God damn it why couldn't I just be dead and then he would just stay alive, didn't have to catch a bullet for me. Where was the fucking pain that I deserved?! It even hurt me more to see him like this.

I had a real breakdown this night, didn't dare to sleep any longer, afraid of getting some more nightmares. Some things you just don't want to see any longer, they simply hurt you. I grabbed the pillow, then hugged it tightly. It did hurt, so fucking much, but I could face through the pain right now.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, they said. Well look at me now, broken down in a fucking hospital because I had to stay alive. What was I even living for at this point? I was weak, not strong. Anything but strong, I could tell you. Weak enough to believe all the shit people, especially doctors, would tell me. There never was a car crash thing, which I actually heard once before. Didn't remember that though. However I felt like Cato was the one who told me that, not sure about that actually.

It was as simple as the ABC thing, Cato was the third one, his brother Benjamin was second. But who was A? Did Cato had another brother, sure about the fact that his name would start with an A. Even after a while of thinking, no name came up in my mind. Did that brother even exist?

My eyes widened as I looked up from the pillow in which I buried my face, staring in the empty space of darkness. Cato's first brother, was dead! Panem High was the school he was in too, he lost the same game as we did. He died in there, but in the hospital ever after that, Cato did talk to him. His first brother, from which I still didn't get the name of, was murdered a few days later. Here. In the hospital. Covering up the death with a car-accident, while actually not the school, but they were the murderer themselves.

My eyes stitched around as I realised that I was in the same goddamn situation too. Just like Cato. Shit I needed to get out of here. I had to fucking leave this place before they would kill me too. Before they would kill him too. Maybe he was doing fine, I mean, maybe he could handle these gunshots. Maybe the hospital _put _him in a coma.

I looked left, towards the honey blond haired boy. Although he didn't look okay, what if that all was true? As long as I would stay awake, they wouldn't do anything to me or him. They wouldn't be responsible for the death of any of us two, and I had to keep it that way.

...

But once I opened my eyes again, it was 8 in the morning. Woken up by the sound of tea cups bumping up to each other. Breakfast service.

'Would you like some tea, or coffee?' A man asked me.

Well I thought it was for me, but it was just for Mags. I sat up, I wanted something to eat, or drink too. How the fuck could I fall asleep, I tried so hard to stay awake. But Cato still laid in his bed, attached to all these tubes, poor him. Nothing seemed to be happened tonight, including my breakdown. It just seemed so damn normal. An usual morning, as you would call it.

'And you, Ms. Kentwell?' The man asked, rolling the trolley with the tea and coffee pots on it, next to it there was some bread and spreads. 'Tea or coffee?'

It felt like a very hard question to decide in this point, didn't know why. But once I decided, I stuck to the tea. The man poured the tea into a glass for me, not sure if he was a doctor though, but he was dressed white just like all the others in here. Everything was white, actually. The walls, the doors, the curtains, the only thing which was another colour was the floor, shaded light grey. White floors get dirtier, that was probably why.

'Would you like something to eat?' He asked.

'Can I have cereal?' I asked. 'Rainbow coloured ones. I prefer having a rainbow in a bowl, you know.'

'We only have regular cereal. The coloured ones are for the little kids.'

'I'm underage, so give me that damn bowl.' I frowned.

Mockingly he finally filled the bowl with milk and the rainbow type of breakfast. Then placed the things on the desk.

He headed towards the door. Just off to the other room, with other patients, with other teenagers who they had seen killing each other in front of a screen, people with other diseases, not the Mackenzie-type of human to fake diseases. Yeah let's say that Me, Mags and Cato weren't the only ones here in the hospital. We were just another annoying clients in the sight of the people who ever worked here, but hey they could earn money by killing us, literally. Couldn't be negative in their point of sight, they wouldn't be bothered by it. They weren't the ones who would cry because their precious child died.

I ate the cereal out of the bowl, then looked up to Cato. Wouldn't he need food to live? Would you even need food to survive through a coma? Pureed food, maybe. But after all I wouldn't go feeding him baby food, that shit is, and always was more than disgusting. You wouldn't be able to fight through a coma with that sloppy food. Not that he even could swallow something. Yeah he really was a tomato plant at this point, helpless in a way it even became cute. I didn't know how I even could afford to think this way, but okay. After all he wasn't the one who woke up crying at night, where after having a fucking breakdown. I was alive, but just as weak.

The hours ticked by, spent with staring outside the window which actually brought me nowhere, I mean looking outside wouldn't get me outside if I wouldn't take the commit to go outside, knowing that it wouldn't be okay. Watching tv, which still didn't got me anywhere either, I might have enjoyed it a bit to watch bull shit kind of shows, only the news would have been marked as useful. But in my eyes the news was only ''the shit which happens in the world which the media does want you to see.''

I mean, they wouldn't put the fact that there were killed 23 teenagers in a school each year, in their tv show. And that was why I always thought twice about whatever media would say. All these natural disasters were awful, they really were, and these people did have to get helped, no doubt about that. But we human-beings, as weird creatures as we are, only put more drama and fights in this world.

Watching the news wouldn't get me in a good mood anyways, so I turned it off. Just in the moment that a nurse walked inside the room, coming here for me. My heart started beating faster, as I thought twice about her appearance too. Did she come to help me, or kill me? After all, here in a hospital ever single sign would betray me. If I would get fucking nervous right now, no matter how much I would try to not let them know, if they would want my heartbeat, it would betray every single thing. The fact that I knew things that I shouldn't have known included.

But thanks god she just came to get these tubes out of me. It only pricked a little, didn't felt any more than that.

'So,' She said, getting the last needle out of my vein.

I didn't even noticed that there was a needle inside of me, but alright. 'Thanks.' I mumbled.

'Now that you aren't stuck to these things anymore, you are available to go to the bathroom. Which is there.' She pointed at a door which actually looked like the wall itself, but did have a doorknob . 'If you need anything, including some oxygen or blood, just press the red button, okay?'

'Okay.' I nodded. 'Can I go outside too?'

'Oh no, that is a little too much for now.' She shook her head. 'Only in this room and the bathroom, do not exit the room. Not in the halls or something.'

'Okay then.' I sighed.

She nodded slightly with a fake friendly smile on her face before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her back. To be honest I totally forgot that I had to shower and stuff like that. I might have survived, but according to the fact that I was for a month inside a deep coma, it meant that school was starting in only three weeks. Back to the real life, real business. Ugh I already got tired thinking of it.

...

I sat up in my bed, moving my legs to the left side of the bed, sliding out of it. Damn it, I really felt like a stiff. I stretched them in front of me before getting up slowly. I had to grab the rod at the end of my bed to not fall, because I was dizzy actually. Wasn't that weird though, I laid down in that bed for over a month, after fucking dying. I slightly set some steps in the direction of the bathroom. And yeah, I did walk like a stiff too.

But before getting a fresh shower, I decided to get to Cato first, now I could walk again. Actually I was sure that my ''walking'' looked more like waddling. So I waddled towards his bed. From this point of view, there were even more tubes he was attached to. So many it almost became creepy, but not that these fucking creepy tubes would keep me away or something. I wasn't sure if I was even able to do this, in his situation. But I didn't mind and just sat down on the edge of his bed.

'Wake up you fool,' I looked down, but couldn't help smiling a bit. 'I miss you.'

* * *

**Sorry that the beginning was so depressing, there is just no way to not have nightmares if you have seen things like that.**

**No matter how cute the last thing was, think twice before you get into that mood.**

**Go back to that time where Clove realised that it was all his plan, still not proven that it wasn't, although he had caught a bullet for her.**

**Cato can be a mean motherfucker _if_ he wakes up, remind yourself of that...**

**...**

**But that's the fucking thing you have to do in live.**

**Think twice! ;)**

**And now think about thinking to leave a review about whatever you think is true of those two choices your head struggles with. **

**Sorry that was confusing; just leave a review xoxo.**


	53. Coming 'home'

And just like my parents, which actually was only my mother because I still hated that Cristopher Green, but just like they told me, I could go home after a week. Shane and Lotus were here yesterday too, visiting me. Lotus had to bring me a with helium filled balloon, which since then was attached to the rod at the end of my bed. My mom told me that my real dad didn't want to visit me, but after I called him without her knowing, he told me that he didn't even know that I was in the hospital, after that he did show up in the black chair, the common black chair in front of the little table next to the window. I didn't understand why my mother told me that he didn't _want _to come, but I guess that is just a thing you fight over once you are divorced.

And today at 1 pm, my mom would pick me up to go home. Home was an unfamiliar house in this case, I still didn't know where that Cristopher even lived. I hoped it was close to the hospital so I could go visit Cato every day, every hour I wasn't at school. I swore that I would come here till he finally woke up, what if he never woke up? I looked down as the sadness overwhelmed every other feeling in my body, what wasn't that much. I was nothing but empty inside.

**[Music time; I will be - Avril Lavigne.]**

I slowly sat down on the edge of his bed, knowing that this might be the last time to see him. I never wanted to be seperated from him, if it was up to me I would still be here in the hospital, just to make sure that the doctors wouldn't kill him. Never could I do something for him, I guess he didn't even know what he really meant to me. A teardrop fell on the white sheets of the bed, followed by some more. We had been through so many things together, we went through death, that says enough. He never said goodbye. ''The day I will say goodbye to you, will be the day that I die.'' He still didn't, this finally gave me the chance to see how far he would go in this thing. It was the only thing what wasn't lied. And I know that I did let him down too, so many times. Not this time, not anymore. He just left because I let him to.

'This time I will never let you go,' I said quietly. 'I promise.'

Even if it wasn't for his sake, I needed him too. I would fall apart without him, I already could tell myself that. And knowing that it would take ten times as long to put yourself together as it does to fall apart, this wasn't a good thing. Time would heal anything, they said. Well this pain couldn't even be erased by something like time, it was too real. I just wanted a happy ending with him, was that too much I was asking for?

**[Turn off the music.] **

Three knocks on the door, not too hard or soft, just like the way I would knock on the door of Snow's office if I was in a confident mood. Once the door opened up, my Mother, Cristopher Green, and Shane came inside the room. No Lotus this time, no annoying but sweet little child running around me. Wasn't in the mood for that anyways. They awkwardly looked at me, crying here over Cato.

'Are you... coming?' Shane asked, a little cautious in whatever he said.

'No.' I sighed.

'Well you have to come.' My mom nodded.

'No I don't.' I shook my head. 'I stay here with Cato.'

'Don't act that dramatical, I don't have the whole day.' Cristopher said. 'He won't _die_ or something?'

'That is possible.' I responded.

Cristopher Green walked out of the room, sick of my attitude, sick of me trying to stay with Cato. That wasn't that strange, right? He just went standing in the hall, waiting for us.

Shane walked up to me, grabbed my hand to pull me up. 'Staying here won't help him, Clove.'

He had a point in that, it was not like in a fairy tale in which he would wake on a magical way because I stayed there. No, maybe it would only be harder for him to recover in that way. I mean, it would take some energy at least. So I just got up and kissed him on his forehead, mumbling a soft 'bye'.

I did not say goodbye, I knew that. The word goodbye had a double meaning with Cato and I. We would _never _say the word goodbye. That was the real word who was meant to stay unspoken, to never be said.

My mother grabbed all the stuff what hung in the little closet in the corner of the room, actually only some clothes. She quickly folded them before putting them in a plastic bag. After that we walked out of the room, Mags wasn't there so I couldn't tell her that she needed to stay strong or something like that. Though I looked around one last time to see my tomato plant in his bed, knowing that now _I _was the one who got away. I was the one who left, and that was not because he would let me to, he couldn't do anything about it. I felt guilty immediately as we walked down the hall.

The hall was the thing I didn't recognize at all, never been there before. I came inside that room in a coma, and I never got out of the room because they told me to not leave. The worst thing was that I actually listened to them, I didn't felt all rebellious to escape out of the room and explore the whole hospital and shit.

...

My mom had a talk for me with a woman who checked my name out, where after I was free to go. So we all walked out of the huge hall. It had been a while since I got some free air. The wind blew through my hair as we went through the doors, sun was shining brightly. Yeah it was great to be outside again, however I looked up at the huge building. 8 floors high, the room where I was on was on the 7th floor. I searched if I could see the room from here, but couldn't find it.

I walked next to my brother, following my mother and Cristopher. It was not ''mom and dad'' anymore to me, it never would be again.

'Don't worry about Cato.' Shane told me. 'He's going to be fine.'

'Over a month in a coma does not sound_ fine_ to me.' I frowned.

'You were four weeks in a coma, he five now. It's not that much difference, Clove. I'm sure he will awake this week.'

'I hope he will,' I sighed. 'I really do.'

Cristopher stopped walking once we arrived at a pretty big matte black car, was this from him? It looked pretty expensive to me, not that money mattered to me anymore. Since I survived death, and was walking outside again now, I finally became aware of how rich I actually was. Happiness wasn't in money, I mean if I could buy a magical medicine to get Cato awake, even if it would cost me a fucking million, I would do it. Yeah, we people need money to live, but it's not necessarily something to be happy about. Money was just like time, the number of it doesn't matter, it was about what you would do with it.

My step dad, ugh I wouldn't even call him that way. Cristopher Green, was apparently a rich fool. That was pretty much all I noticed once he parked the car in front of a well yeah, villa. And to be honest, I disliked this. My boyfriend would have a chance to die in that hospital, and now I had to act all happy and shit because we might have a jacuzzi or something? Hell no.

I opened up the door, and looked up to the white building. Two floors, my previous house had three. Only this one was like two or three times as big. And then there was a huge front garden where we just drove through a gate, and parked the car in front of it. I rolled my eyes. They would probably call it spoiled, my reaction now. Because I might have a dream house right now, but I simply wasn't happy with it. Not knowing that my mother probably married this guy (if they were already married, I didn't know) only because of the money, not to be happy. In my opinion this was worse than prostitutes, they would only fuck for money, not live together for like forever.

We walked inside the house, a huge stairway went upstairs. It was so large from the inside that it wouldn't even be cosily to live in. In that case I rather want my mom to go with a not that rich guy, if home could feel like home then. But I couldn't change her relationships and I knew that. Now I only had to make her believe that she couldn't change anything about mine either.

Ugh, everything was so white that it reminded me of the hospital, which was a very negative thing if you would ask me.

'And, do you like it?' Cristopher asked me, which actually was the first time he wanted to know something about me.

I just shrugged, not making any eye contact with him.

I bet he didn't like me already, Lotus or Shane were probably his favorites already. Not that I even wanted to be, ew no. For fucks sake, I would make this man hate me as much as possible. I would be the rebellious one, the one who would be kicked out of this rich-ass house if necessarily. Yeah, I would like that. Not that I was going to spend that much time inside this house, only these two weeks before school. And I could always go to Cato's family, at least they _did _like me. Everything was so much better at his house, but now he wasn't home. That would be fucking weird to go there if he wasn't there. It wasn't fair, now I was free to go anywhere. And he was still stuck to these tubes and in a deep coma.

If only his family would _know _that he caught several bullets for me.

But hey, it was a goddamn conspiracy. I couldn't tell anyone, right?

* * *

**Damn it I hate that Cristopher. **

**But let's just say that I try to give you some characters who you are able to well yeah, hate?**

**So well yeah,**

**Can you guys review the names of all introduced characters in this story so far which you _hate?_**

**I just like to know your opinion of people :D**

**HAVE A NICE DAYYY**


	54. The Nightingale

We sat at the table, completely in silence. There were no places as usual anymore, I sat in between of Shane and my mom instead of him and my sister. On the opposite of my place, Cristopher Green sat. I had spent three hours in this huge house, and embarrassing enough I wandered around once, and couldn't find the way back. I still didn't change my mind about that man, I wouldn't even call him my step dad, or even ''Cristopher'', the surname had to be with it. So it would sound more like he was someone I didn't know, and that was the best.

'So,' Cristopher looked at me. 'How are you?'

'Is this meant to be funny or something?' I frowned. 'I _died_ last month. My boyfriend is still in a deep coma. So no, I am not o-fucking-kay.'

'Clove..' My mom sighed. 'Stop using these words.'

'Your mom is right.' Said Cristopher. 'I know that it might be hard for you, all these changes, but you really need to change your attitude too.'

'You don't make sense.' I faked a smile. 'First you say that changes are hard for me, and then you ask me to change myself even more?'

'1-0 to Clove.' Shane laughed, then pricked a piece of the chicken on his fork.

'Hell yeah.' I high-fived him.

'Stop. Swearing.' Cristopher tried to be a little more clear. 'I don't want to hear that kind of words from you anymore, you understand?'

I rolled my eyes. Swearing was a form of art to me, you could express yourself so much more directly, much more exactly with properly used curse words. I didn't told him that though, didn't want to get into trouble. Not that I knew what the hell he would try to do, lock me up in my room? I didn't even know which room was mine. Maybe I had to figure that out after dinner, before they would ask me to go to my room. But it was weird for me to struggle about my room and shit, while Cato would struggle to even stay alive. It wasn't fair.

I decided to be nice, because after all I was a fucking good person. So I asked him a very common question. 'What do you do for work?'

'I am the director of The Nightingale.' He answered.

What the fuck was The Nightingale? Well it was a bird who sung, just like a mockingjay, but that was all I knew.

'It's that charity, you know.' My mom filled in. 'It gives children with cancer a nice day, by going somewhere or make them happy. He is such a good person for having a charity.'

'You didn't know The Nightingale?' Shane looked at me.

'Eh, no.' I slightly shook my head.

'I mean, a lot of people donate money to it.' Shane said. 'I thought you knew about it.'

'But if it is a charity,' I squinted. 'Isn't all the money supposed to help these children?'

'Yeah, it all goes to them.' Cristopher nodded, but avoid making eye contact with me.

That little liar.

'Then how the fuck can you be so rich?' I crossed my arms. Point made. 'If _all _the money goes to them, it wouldn't disappear in your cars and house, would it?'

'Shut your mouth.' He mouthed, and now he did make eye contact, although he looked pretty angry. Clearly he didn't want the rest to hear it.

'Oh no.' I shook my head. 'I ain't going to shut my mouth. Because this is just the thing with charities. You think you are such a good person, but actually you are nothing but a crook, trying to get people who work hard for their money to donate to investigate in your fucking house. That is something you just don't do!'

It was almost as worse as faking the disease itself, just like Mackenzie did. But this was something you would, no, you can't do this to people. You cannot let people think that they are good by donating to charities, and then investigate all the money to yourself, because you want to be rich. What was the point with these people, ugh.

'Shane, would you like to show Clove her room?' Cristopher said, calmly as fuck. But when he looked at me, he raised his voice. Mad because I betrayed his conspiracy. 'And you are not going to get out of it till tomorrow morning!'

'Don't yell at me?' I frowned, then glanced over mom, who surprisingly didn't do anything. 'Mom?!'

'He's right Clove,' She told me. 'Go to your room.'

I didn't know if I could act even more weird, but this time I just shut my mouth and left the room. Couldn't believe that my mother chose his side! Arguing wouldn't get me anywhere, we teenagers _always _pulled the shortest straw. I heard some footsteps following me, turned out to be just Shane. Thanks god it wasn't Cristopher. I walked upstairs behind him, on this huge stairway. Why would you even need a stairway which is three times as wide as an usual one. You just go upstairs or downstairs, what the hell would you need it for?

Although I had to say that it kind of looked like a stairway they would use in fairy tales, but this palace didn't belong to a king, but to a crook who wanted people to donate in his ''charity'', the fucker. No wonderland here, nothing but a cruel place. I wondered what Cato would say of it, probably something sarcastic as fuck, if not sadistic. But maybe I would never have his opinion of things anymore, too sad. He was my boyfriend and best friend all in one. If he would die, it would mean that I lost them both. Then I realised that I wouldn't be able to live without him. Hanging myself on this beautiful stairway? Maybe that was an option. Would I have a happy ending then? Suicide in palace fucking wonderland? I'd better turn off my thoughts right now.

'I guess you are in trouble.' Shane shrugged, opening one of the 8 doors in the hallway of the first floor. A golden doorknob, seriously?

'I guess.' I sighed, walking inside the room.

At first I wanted to be like ''Wow!'', but when I realised where the money to make my room came from, I decided to shut my mouth. Maybe that was how I was going to survive in this house, by just continuing shutting my mouth. Just another conspiracy of silence.

He probably expected me to be a girly girl, because everything was white or pink. I rolled my eyes as I let myself fall on the king-size bed, white sheets, pink pillows. Seriously there could fit in four people in here, and according to the fact that I was slightly smaller than the usual girl of my age, actually it didn't was that much difference though, but this bed looked so huge to me.

'What if you need to pee?' Shane asked.

'What?' I laughed, then looked up.

'He told you to not leave this room, but what if you need to pee?'

'Then I go to the fucking bathroom, one of the five or something? You thought that I was going to follow his rules? Let me tell you that limits are meant to be crossed.' I told him.

'You are kind of starting to become a badass, not my _little_ sister.'

'I don't know what happened to you either, I thought you could break some damn rules.' I sighed.

'Cato changed you.' He nodded, looking down.

'He can't change me, I was just willing to.' I stared at the (ugh) _pink_ ceiling, not white this time. Wondering if I could just graffity over everything.

'Can I ask you something?' He said.

I nodded. 'Yeah sure.'

'Did he, uh, ever forced you to do something you didn't wanted to?' He asked cautiously. Since when did my brother became cautiously, he was fucking 18 right now and didn't even dare to ask something like this.

'No, of course not.' I answered. 'Was that what mom thought too?'

'According to that whole new car thing, she honestly thought he was a lover boy.'

I laughed. 'Seriously?'

'Yep.' He nodded. 'I guess I need to go downstairs, but he really didn't do anything?'

'Why do you even doubt that? He was a good person okay.' Then corrected myself. ''He still _is_ a good person.'

He walked out of the room, leaving me alone in this huge pink room. Even letting my friends come inside this house would like ruin my reputation into the ''spoiled one''. Something I didn't even want to be, when would people finally realise that living wasn't about money?

But not after a minute thinking, my thought went back to Cato again. He would probably still lay inside that hospital bed, seventh floor, room 718. Attached to all these tubes and oxygen things, filled with stupid medicines. So many chemicals, he would become radioactive if he ever woke up. Would need a damn lot of green smoothies to detox that out of your body.

And Cato himself, was the only one I wanted to talk about his coma, about the gun shot thing, about everything what was on my mind. He was the only one who actually understood me, and yeah there was a big difference between understanding and listening like all other friends would. Damn it, I missed talking to him. To be honest, I missed everything, even the fights we had. Never thought that the argues were something I was going to miss. But it were all these little things, who just made our relation complete, and it was near perfection to me.

Things always were too good to be true, so life had to do this to us. Life was a bitch, but still we were supposed to love it. Life would beat you down, and keep you there if you'd let it. A nobody, we all were, in this meatball of what was called ''Earth''. But it didn't meant that a nobody couldn't be anybody. You could write your own book of life, however there were some plot twists you wouldn't be able to control. And if you didn't want your book to be a drama, you had to look for the positive in even the bad plot twists. We humans, had to write our own fairy tale if we wanted one. However there was no option to rewrite something, no eraser to remove the pain from the past. Time had happened, and so did the words, there was no such thing as erasing memories. Even if people would tell something like that your love story wasn't meant to be, the pen was in our hands.

So the choice, of how I would react to all these things going on in my life. Especially about Cato, it was all up to me.

* * *

**It's ridiculous, about that charity ''The nightingale''. But after all, in this world we all live in, the same damn thing happens. **

**Hope you liked the chapter :)**

**Don't forget to review, and to live your life ! xo**


	55. Breakfast with the devil

4:07, The neon yellow letters on the alarm clock showed. Once again I sat up inside of my bed, staring into the darkness in my room, only the light of the lampposts outside was something what lighted it up here. I tried to stop breathing so pathetic heavily, and let my head fall on the pillow again. Just another nightmare, another flashback of everything what wasn't right in that school. The girl who was shot to death in front of the class, those creepy people outside, with the black hoodies. Nina falling off the building.

'God damn it.' I sighed, then buried my face in my hands.

I never thought I'd feel this, guilty and broken down inside. Living with myself in this house of nothing but lies. I never thought I'd make it, only never expected it to be so bad, waking from nightmares every damn night. I was too young to have seen this all happen, I saw people die for fucks sake. Too young to lose my soul to all this negativity, it just wanted to suck it up. I felt like I was losing my mind.

I cannot explain how much I wanted something like normality in my life, not being on a school who murders teenagers, having a boyfriend who wasn't in a deep coma because of that fucking school. Not having a mom who does stupid things like dating a Cristopher Green who steals money from his charity. I didn't even know what normality was!

What at first I thought was the pain in my heart, turned out to be the emptiness of my stomach. I was hungry. Not that I wanted to care about fucking food right now, but it would be a distraction. I didn't want to sleep, I didn't want to dream. Because even my happier dreams wouldn't comfort the way Cato would. I slide out of the huge bed, stepped into a pair of woollen slippers. Then waddled across the room, towards the closet. But my closet was gone, only I saw was a door. So I pressed the doorknob down, and slowly opened the door.

I raised an eyebrow, lights flashed on and lighted the walk in closet. Of course. I rolled my eyes, and grabbed an undress. God, it was so soft. I quietly walked through my room again, then down the hall, and down the huge stairway without making any noise. The hall was so huge, but cold. My legs, which were the only part of me what wasn't covered by the softness of the undress, immediately became cold. Ah whatever, a cold wouldn't kill me.

I accidently lost my slipper as it flew through the air, landing on the ground. Great, I thought as I walked uneven down the last steps. It was like wearing a high heel on the one, and nothing on your other foot, weird. Once I got downstairs, I put in on again. Then went to the right, towards the kitchen. My eyes stitched around, not that someone would be as crazy as me to get food at 4 am. That Cristopher told me to not go downstairs till morning, 4 am was morning to me. Free to go now, but I felt embarrassed to myself for following his rule. To not step over a limit and just stay behind it, like normal people would do.

After I made myself a bowl of (coloured) cereal, I hopped down on the sofa and turned on the way too big tv. I did turn the audio a little more quiet, to not wake everyone up. I curled myself up, snuggling into the hoodie of the undress, as I stared at the screen.

...

And trust me, I tried. I tried to just stop thinking about Cato and his situation right now. I tried to just quit thinking, because my mind was killing me. But for fucks sake, I couldn't. I would write my own story, if I could. I mean, I would just hang and have fun times and shit like that with friends, I don't know. But I got into a situation I couldn't control, and wasn't able to get out. The only question I asked myself was in the extent to which would this hinder me in living. Probably much, I guessed. It had been four days since I got out of the hospital, and even to my surprise, the nights got worse and worse. These nightmares I had, over and over again. Not only about the flashbacks from these killing days, but I kept seeing doctors killing Cato.

These nights, I swear I woke up crying every time. Where after I would tell myself that I couldn't be that weak to cry over things every damn time I saw them happen. But I just couldn't help it. I had seen too much, I knew too much about the things they didn't want me to know. And to be honest, I wished I didn't knew them.

The thoughts you didn't have, weren't able to kill you inside either. Couldn't I just brainwash myself or something like that? Getting over with all that shit going on in my brains. There was just way too much on my mind, and the worst was that I couldn't talk to anyone about it, since Cato was as good as gone. There was no such thing as accepting that he probably wouldn't make it.

Yesterday, I went to the hospital again. During the visitors hour, at twelve and eight pm. I was prepared to go twice a day, but the doctors always told me that I was wasting my time by sitting next to someone who was in coma. They were right, but I kept doing it anyways. In no single way I trusted these doctors, nor the nurses. I remembered that Cato told me about how they killed his brother, during the operation. He had felt perfectly fine, but the brutal murder was placed in the operation room. Then they blamed it on a car crash, just like they said it was a car crash when I asked how I came in that hospital. Lies, they were. Everything was nothing but a lie we lived in. It was a fact that we were born and die, everything in between was ''just an illusion''.

...

I sighed, then looked outside. The sun began to rise, clear blue sky. It was going to be a beautiful day, but what would a cloudless sky with sun make up to a world like this. I shove open the sliding doors, and stepped outside. It seemed warmer than it actually was, I thought as I glanced over the huge backyard. It included a swimming pool and a second Jacuzzi, the other one was in the bathroom on the first floor. I kept wondering why this man needed all this.

If I wouldn't feel so shitty inside, I could give pretty cool parties in that swimming pool. I mean, everyone would have fun except me. Cato couldn't just leave me like this. He had to wake up, for fucks sake.

I sat down on a chair, placed in the perfectly mowed grass. I couldn't tell how much this perfection was starting to annoy me. I just waited there for nothing, maybe till the sun would come up more. Not that I had to do really much. 5 am, and I was sitting outside on a fucking chair. I guess that I really had to get my life together a little more.

Two hours later, I decided to get inside again. Shane and my mom were already up too, but didn't notice me sitting in the backyard. Though it was save to go inside, the devil, also known as Cristopher Green, wasn't there yet.

'Where are you coming from?' My mom raised an eyebrow as she saw me shoving the sliding doors to get in the house again.

'The backyard, that was clear I thought.' I answered, then sat down on the sofa once again.

She laid the table while Shane made a bowl of cereal, the normal boring colourless ones, for himself too.

'Are you going to join us?' Mom patted on the chair next to her.

'Yeah.' I got up.

And then Cristopher walked inside the room too already in a fucking suit, heading to the table they sat at. Forget it. I hopped down on the sofa again. I expected to finally, after all these days, to just eat breakfast together with my own damn family again. And then that thing had to sit down too. They could go fuck themselves, all of them. I wasn't going to sit there with him.

That last morning, before the last day at school. I thought that it was the last time that I could eat with my family, ever. I thought that I would die in that school, after the last bell rang. Things didn't went like expected, and I died, and lived again. But everything I thought was right now, things changed too much. I wasn't able to eat with them again. Fuck that Cristopher, he ruined everything.

'Clove?' My mom frowned. 'You're coming?'

'Nah.' I shrugged, turning on the tv again. 'I'm not hungry.'

'Well you have to eat.' Cristopher said.

'Can you shut up?' I looked their way. 'I am not going to eat breakfast with the devil.'

'Eh..' Mom mumbled.

Shane grinned a bit.

...

I ignored them for the rest of the morning, maybe it was better for me to just isolate myself from them. They wouldn't understand thing anyways. Damn, I needed Cato to help me out of this whole situation, if it was only to get me a place to go if I was sick of their bullshit. But right now, that place was the hospital. The place where people died, and the place where people survived. After all everyone was there for their own reason, from ''car-crashes'' to a remaining disease. Let's just say that it wasn't the most happy place to be if I needed somewhere to go.

So without saying anything, I headed out of the front door and got my white scooter, got on it. As I drove towards the hospital once again. 6th time I would drive down this road, on my way to my lovely tomato plant.

In the waiting room I sat, 11:55, the screen of my phone showed. I was always early, making sure I wouldn't lose a minute by being late. These visitors hours were only from 12 till 1 pm, and 8 till 9 pm. Just one hour, I couldn't be late! Plus it was a reason to escape from the Devil's house, and I really needed to break free to breathe again. However I never felt free anymore.

A mid-20, light blonde nurse walked inside the waiting room to tell all the visitors that they could go to whoever they came for.

Then she looked at me. 'Here again?'

'As always.' I nodded. 'It starts to be a routine, you know.'

'You really don't skip a day, do you?' She grinned.

'Why would I?' I told her. 'If it was up to me, I would hang around his room all day.'

'In one kind of way, this is so cute.' She smiled. 'But I can understand if you start hating these times of the visitors hours, maybe I can figure something out so you can go here anytime you want?'

'Really?' I looked up.

'I'll let you know after this hour okay? If you can come to the lobby.'

'Yeah sure.' I got up, as we said each other goodbye, I quickly walked through the white halls.

I pressed the button of the elevator, and waited for a while until the doors opened. An old man, in a hospital bed was pushed out the elevator by a nurse, then walked with the man and bed down the hall. I let them go, then stepped in the elevator myself. I tapped the 7.

Doors closed, and I went up.

Once the doors opened again, I walked through the hall towards room 715. White, white, white and grey. It was so damn boring. I knew that it wasn't a children department, but was a little spark of colour that hard to do? Sure that people would get depressed in here.

...

I pushed the door of room 715 open. The bed next to the window, where I used to lay, was empty. I greeted Mags, then glanced over Cato, still lying in that bed, still attached to these tubes. He did lay in a slightly different position, I started noticing the little details. I grabbed the black chair, and placed it next to his bed.

'Any updates?' I asked Mags, she promised me that she would keep me up if there happened something.

'This morning a doctor came to check him.' She shrugged. 'The usual Glasgow Coma Scale.'

'Do you remember the scores?' I asked.

'Yeah I wrote it down for you.' She grabbed a little notebook from the desk. 'Doctors think out loud, so I could write everything they said.'

I laughed, and walked toward her to grab the book, then sat down again. I opened it and read her handwriting on one of the pages.

Eye response : 1, out of 4.

Verbal response: 1, out of 5.

Motor response: 3, out of 6.

(The higher the score, the more positive. Not really lucky this time…)

...

I sighed. 'Are they hurting him with that motor response?'

'If a electrocution is included, yeah.'

'Oh for fucks sake.' I looked down. 'Why would you electrocute someone to get a response? That isn't even allowed in that GCS test.'

'Because if he gets a 5 at that motor response, they are allowed to operate him.' She told me. 'They go pretty far in that motor response thing, they just demand to get a reaction.'

'So they could nearly kill him, just to get a pain level so high so he reacts higher than that 5?' I frowned. 'Seriously, what if they do that?!'

'Then they have got exactly what they want.'

* * *

**Personally I think that the director of the hospital should go see a doctor himself. Don't ya think?**

**I hope you liked the chappp.**

**Oh, and I wanted to say that I fucking love you all xo**

**Don't forget to REVIEW, and have a nice dayyy :) **

**Or just make sure that it won't be as depressing as the white walls of the hospital, okay?**

**Because you are an awesome motherfucker :D**


	56. Just another hospital day

4 pm, still in the black chair next to Cato's bed. Mags had been taken away by some doctor, to do tests. I hoped that they were not going to electrocute her too. Seriously that isn't even legal, how could the hospital do something like that to him? I promised that I would stay here until the doctors went home too, in that case they weren't able to test, or operate him. And that was good, in this situation.

'It's okay,' I sighed. 'Take your time to awake from that coma. Don't rush it.'

I really wanted him to just wake up right now, but if the doctors would notice that, he would be operated and killed, just like his brother. I wasn't going to let that happen. It was actually so easy; there were two options. One, he wouldn't survive or wake up out of the coma and just die. In that case all my hopes were gone, because he wasn't able to say goodbye too.

Or two, he would slowly get better, but once his Motor response would get higher than 5, he would be operated and would be murdered anyways. But if that would just stick to the score of 4, which was nothing more than a flexion to pain. That was it, in both ways I already lost him. Things were never going back to where they came from, things would never change for the better. For fucks sake, I wanted him back.

Dead anyways, never the same. It wasn't going to be okay. I knew that I wrote with the pen myself, but I couldn't change this. I could look for the better things among this all, making it a little more positive. But if he was going to die, by not awaking or just getting murdered, it wasn't positive in any way. Except if he would slowly raise the score, but not the Motor response. Not that it was possible to just talk whole sentences, got eyes open; but nothing more than a flexion to pain.

How many times did I have to tell myself that it wouldn't be okay, that it wouldn't happen as I hoped it would. Even if that would work, I mean yeah he was alive. And yes I could talk to him, which actually at this moment was all I needed. But if he couldn't even react to a tension of pain, and then I don't mean a electrocution, just a light tension of pain like poking someone. He wouldn't be able to even walk. Why the fuck did these doctors have to made it so hard, so confusing?! I just wanted him to wake up, and recover, and be able to go home with him alive, not in a wooden box. Why did they have to murder him if they would be able to, just because of the fact that he might know a little more than the average human being. If they only could feel the pain I felt while thinking about it.

...

The white doors opened, and holy shit there was a doctor. A tall man, around forty years old, brown hair, and probably an evil mind. He couldn't be a good person by killing Cato or his brother, or anyone else.

'Uh, hello there.' He frowned as he saw me. 'I guess that you shouldn't be here?'

'I have permission.' I told him, grabbing Cato's hand.

'I don't think so, would you mind leaving the room?' He shook his head. 'I need to get some tests done.'

'No.' I said. 'You can do these tests while I'm here.'

I mean, he wouldn't be able to electrocute someone if I was here. I would see everything they didn't want me to see, which was a reason to kill someone. And they couldn't kill a visitor, right? I really didn't want this man to take these tests on Cato, I didn't want to see him getting hurt. Because, well yeah; that probably would hurt me more than it would do to him.

The doctor went off to the hall, getting a colleague to help him in this thing. ''This thing'' was probably me, not the test. While actually, it was all about the test in their eyes. It wasn't about helping Cato getting out alive, and make him recover well. The paper became more important than the victim itself. Sickening, that thought. But it was true, they would do anything to get a response out of him, and would go pretty damn far in that thing. Just to get a number who they would write down, hoping that he would score higher than 5 so they could operate and get over with his existence.

'Girl, would you mind to leave the room for just one second. After that you can just come back.' The female colleague of the evil minded doctor said. Coming back to my electrocuted boyfriend, she meant.

So I said, 'I already told you no.'

'I told you that she wasn't going to leave.' The man hissed to her, trying to not let me hear. But hey, I did. Better whisper a little softer the next time, dear devil.

'You are not going to hurt him, right?' I asked, pretending like I didn't know shit.

'Oh trust me,' the doctor said. 'He won't feel _an__ything_.'

'Then why are you doing it?' I raised an eyebrow. 'If he wouldn't feel it anyways.'

'Eh..' He stumbled. 'I need to get the scores for the GCS, you know.'

'How would a pain he can't feel, get a reaction?' I said. 'That doesn't make any sense.'

'Indeed, and that's why we make that pain level a little higher.' The female doctor winked at me. 'So he _does _feel something. Sounds good right?'

I got up from the chair. 'Seriously, back off.'

'Don't get aggressive, girl.' The man said. 'We only try to help your friend here.'

'Pain won't ever help him,' I shook my head. 'Now if you can excuse me and leave this damn room?'

'We aren't going to leave the room for you, we have a test to take. And you are not going to stop us in that, understood?'

'Just let us do our job.' The man filled in.

...

The hours ticked by, sun went down as I looked outside, seeing twilight up in the air. It was getting late, so I had to go home. Sure about the fact that my mom and Cristopher would yell at me and shit like that, I wasn't home the whole day. Not that I would care about that, they should just understand me in this thing, and they simply didn't. The doctors had done their ''job'' this afternoon, without electrocuting probably because I sat there. If it was that way, I had done my job too. And I would keep on doing that, until Cato would wake up, or uh.. die?

I said Mags goodbye, which was actually the only one I could talk to right now. And with right now I meant in general, because there was simply no one who really would listen. Talking to Cato was the same as talking to a tree; they wouldn't say something back. I walked through the white halls as usual. 9:30 pm, sure that not all of the doctors would go home, or already are home. There was a nightshift too of course, if necessary I would even sleep here, but I knew I couldn't.

...

Once I came home. Well not home, but at the absurd huge building from Cristopher what they used to call home, which was nothing but a house full of lies. Bought with the money of a charity, I wouldn't call that a home. I drove around the fountain and parked my scooter close to the door. I unlocked the door with the key, Cristopher didn't gave me it, I just grabbed it. He would probably never trust me with a key to his house, the fucker.

'Clove?!' I heard my mother's voice coming from the living room. In which you couldn't ''live'', just firmly sit on a chair, if Cristopher would tell. 'Where have you been!'

I headed inside the room, as embarrassing as it was. I couldn't just ignore them for some more hours, just reacting curtly would help my way out.

'At the hospital.' I answered.

'_That _long?' Cristopher said, raising an eyebrow as he looked up from his chair.

'Yeah.' I rolled my eyes.

'Have you even had dinner there?' Mom asked.

'I ate pudding.' I shrugged. 'That's food too.'

'Yeah but pudding is not healthy, Clove. You know that!'

'Well living isn't healthy in general.' I frowned. 'Life itself is a deadly disease, mom.'

She remained silent for a little moment, then headed to the kitchen. 'Do you want something to eat?'

'Nah, I'm not hungry.' I answered.

'Clove,' She made a sad face. 'I'm worried about you.'

'Don't be.' I told her. 'I can save myself in this world, I'm not 6 anymore.'

Oops lie. If Cato didn't caught that bullet for me, I was dead by sure. Let's just say that I could survive in this world if he would wake up too. I would continuously live with the feeling that I would be dead if he didn't do that. Maybe he would die himself now, and then I was the one who survived. Living like your live had been depend on someone didn't felt good, I could tell you. Ugh, things were so hard.

After I took a warm, long shower. I decided to go to bed, after all I had to wake up early to go to the hospital again.

I laid down underneath the sheets, head down on a pillow. What felt good, actually. After sitting a whole day on a damn chair. I closed my eyes, preparing to fall asleep. But then my phone vibrated. I rolled my eyes as I sat up again. Grabbed my phone, and read the message.

_[Veronica] 23:01: Long time not seen, or spoken! I heard you were in a car crash? In that case; Are you okay? I just wanted to ask if you want to join me, Luke, Jason and Al tomorrow. Gonna crash the mall, so lemme know if you want to come ;)._

* * *

**What do you guys think she has to choose; going to the hospital again, or hang out with Veronica and her clique ? **

**Let me knowww. **

**Have a nice day x**


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